


A mountain to climb, for your love

by Jezmatron



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Healing, Homophobia, I am aiming for a happy ending here guys!, It's gonna be painful to start, Kindness, PTSD, Redemption, Scorpia and Catra are still animals, especially the flashbacks, friends to confusion to more, ohhhhh the flashbacks, so is Rogelio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 123,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25367692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jezmatron/pseuds/Jezmatron
Summary: Catra did a bad thing. A REALLY bad thing. She'd been through the ringer since. She's changed.Now she wants to make good, to fix the things she's broken. Can she reach the people she hurt? Should they forgive her? And what about the one she tore down the most? Is it better if she lets well alone, or should she try to rebuild that bridge?High School was a while ago; the world has moved on. Have the people from her past? Will her overtures be met with success, appreciation? Or just seen as too little, too late?A journey of forgiveness, growth and dealing with trauma.---Another AU - want to explore the forgiveness elements Catra went through through a new lens. And also focus on an Adora who is maybe a little colder. I want to do the topic justice, as I have family and friends who have struggled with coming to terms with their sexuality. I have dealt with bigotry and judgement. Of course, any input is appreciated if anyone feels I'm not quite on point and any feedback is ALWAYS appreciated.WARNING - homophobia and bigotry WILL be shown in this fic. Mentions of conversion therapy, abuse and Shadow Weaver being a shitty shitty parent.-For my uncle, Paul.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 1033
Kudos: 702





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra sets up a meeting - she has amends to make. The first of perhaps many...
> 
> She faces her past, taking her first steps towards if not redemption, then closure.

The dream was a familiar one. One she hadn’t had in a while; at least, not  _ quite _ like that. She always felt the wash of emotions.  _ Always _ . Used to be she’d sink into her work, or get absolutely blitzed on a night out. Exhaustion seemed to knock out that part of her brain that was dialled into the past. Not quite memories - she always remembered. Rather, it just seemed to hamper involuntary memory. 

That was the past, though. Coping mechanisms that hadn’t really worked. They’d just let her float through college, landed her a decent enough job. But it was all a thin facade. She never thought a person could feel  _ permanently _ guilty, but that was what it was, apparently. Or so her therapist said.

That guilt had transformed to resentment for so many years. Irritation, snark, caustic wit.

The reality was it made her an absolutely nightmare for others to deal with. But, she’d managed to turn things around, really  _ really _ looked into what it was she was feeling and  _ why _ . And her therapist had helped put a name to the feeling, made her recognise The oily guilt for what it was: a loose end. Amends not made, no where  _ near _ made. The mistakes of four years ago: it which felt like a lifetime but still so fresh.

So, as her mismatched eyes fluttered open, she allowed herself to experience the emotions. She blinked her eyes and let a breath shudder through her as the sunlight streamed through the slatted blinds of her bedroom.

_ Blue eyes staring in shock. A mouth parted in surprise. Blond hair whipping as the girl turned to run. The mocking laughter and the shouted slurs. The high fives between her and her friends as she watched the blond flee. _

She curled up slightly and hissed a breath in. Her eyes blinked rapidly and she ran a hand through her hair. It was lank, sweaty - a testament to the uneasy night she’d had. The memory flashed as she blinked, another unbidden recollection in her  _ oh-so-fun _ slope of shame.

_ White hair and broad shoulders, one of those friends stands to one side. She watches and shakes her head. As the rest of their gang disperse, the tall woman steps forward and swallows. The words etch in, but never quite registered at the time _ .

_ “You’re a bad friend, Catra…” _

She snorted. Understatement of the  _ year _ . Maybe the decade. For now, however, she makes an effort to regulate her breathing, to allow her heart rate to drop, at least a little. She thinks about the progress she’d made; the positive steps taken. And the plan to make more.

That last gave her a flutter of anxiety, but she inhaled heavily again. No pain, no gain, as her trainer said. And her therapist, come to think of it.

With a groan, Catra rolled up right and swung her legs from her bed. The room wasn’t huge, space for a decent double with built in wardrobe and a dresser. She padded over to the dresser and pulled out a new set of underwear, then stripped out of her sweaty pyjamas. At the wardrobe she plucked leggings and a decent shirt, which she laid out on the bed, with her under-things. She then padded to the door of the bedroom, stretching and allowing her tail to swish back and forth, languorously. 

Her apartment was a smallish one-bed affair. A corridor from the front door, a kitchen cum living space at the end, with her room and the bathroom on either side of the hallway. Something she was able to afford, rent wise, in cosmopolitan Brightmoon. A far cry from the austere flat-share she’d started with in Scorpion Hill. Admittedly, that had been a rush job. Her intended room mate, post college, had cut ties after the  _ incident _ at high school.

Quite a few people had, actually.

At the time it’d been  _ justification _ in her eyes - they lived up to her expectations. So, she’d powered through, worked her way out there, through college, through interviews, through whatever extra curricular credits she could get, to  _ prove them wrong _ . Quite what she was trying to prove she hadn’t  _ really _ known. But she’d kept her eyes firmly forward. Because, she realised now, to look back would’ve been to see the shattered vision of blue eyes.

Her morning routine was usually pared down - teeth, comb through her rebellious mane, deodorant, then smart clothes ready for another day in exciting,  _ exciting _ consultancy work. Problem solving for the corporate world. She didn’t shower in the mornings because it was a real pain to dry her fur. As in  _ an hour with a hairdryer _ level of pain. Plus she ended up looking  _ poofy _ . She’d turned up to work once like that and had been both critiqued for lacking professionalism and complimented on looking  _ cute _ .

But today was a  _ little _ different. It was the next step in, as her therapist called it, the recovery. Acknowledging the pain and the emotions was one aspect. This next step was a bit unorthodox but one her therapist supported.

Reconciliation. Or at least an attempt at it.

She was starting small. Then, maybe, just maybe… she could head up the ramp to the  _ important _ conversation.

If she could find her, of course. That was the sticking point.

She chuckled to herself as she stood under the warm water of the shower. Her brain made a connection and she shook her head. It was ironic that she’d been started on this path by the person who’d helped cause this absolute horror story of constant guilt and remorse. Someone who’d helped her turn into an absolute monster in High School, but who had undergone a similar journey to, if not redemption, at least a step towards their soul, or whatever, being grey rather than black.

With a sigh, she pushed the thought away. Not the right moment to dwell - instead she focused on drying her fur as best she could, then walked back to her bedroom to dry off. Her routine was different today - no work, odd for a mid-week day. But this was the only time her…  _ friend _ ?  _ Yeah, may as well think that way, that was the goal. _ It was the only time they’d been willing to agree to - during a break in their lunch.

It was hard to visualise them again. Hard to think their name. Her therapist had said it was a coping mechanism - blotting out details, managing any form of expectation and reducing the situation to nothing more than an  _ event _ in her head. It made it easier to plan, to strategise.  _ Emotional detachment _ apparently. Made her great at consulting on things like change, or restructuring - she could be so impassive, sardonic, brutal. But when it came to personal things, yeah… it meant she came across as distracted.

After a little more prep, she finally moved to the kitchen. Coffee was not on the agenda, not until the meeting at least. Too many cups and, well, she’d spiral. She settled for a glass of milk and a slice of toast to keep her stomach mollified then collected her keys and moved to leave. She hovered at the door, keys in hand. She couldn’t help clenching and unclenching her fist as she fought to keep her breathing steady.

With a sudden pulse of motivation she fished her phone from her jacket pocket and dialled a number. At the other end a familiar, kindly voice came over the line.

“ _ Catra?” _

“Uh…. sorry to bother you so early Razz…”

“ _ Dearie, what did I tell you? Moving forward is important, but it doesn’t need to be done alone. I told you to call me, remember? Did you remember?” _

Catra blinked and then swallowed, “Y...yeah.”  
  
_ “I take it you’re having doubts?” _

“Just… just what if… what if she says she doesn’t forgive me?”

“ _ Then she doesn’t forgive you. The reality of life is consequence. You, however, have changed and continue to do so. You have taken that step. I find this a brave step you are taking and… well, not one I would have suggested. More on the coming to terms with the voices in your own head, but this works too.” _

Catra blew a breath out and chuckled, “Who knew Hordak could have  _ kind _ ideas as well? Can't believe I met him... and can't believe _he_ suggested this.”

_ “Consequences, Catra. Not many see them for what they are and take a lesson from it. Your former… friend? Associate? Accomplice? Well, he has grown. Learned. Maybe this is a lesson you can take from him that has actual benefit?” _

“Maybe… just seems weird to be suddenly taking advice from a guy doing time, y’know?”

_ “This was your choice. Do you not want to go through with it? I will support you whatever you choose _ .”

Those words laid across her heart like a warm balm. How many  _ years _ had she gone just hoping for words just like that to pass from her mother’s lips? Something other than the condescending, judgmental bigotry. The sneering accusations. The words that had, indirectly, formed her into something she really was not and had caused….

_ This _ .

“ _ You’re back in your head again, dearie. Never move forward if you keep wandering into the past. I should know. Gets you all muddled.” _

Catra laughed, a genuine sound, raspy and affectionate, “Yeah, don’t want you going into one of your baking metaphors… be here all day.”

_ “If you want an excuse to stall, I can provide. Got a good one about raspberry pie…” _

“Yeah…. Nope. Thanks Razz. Think I need to try this… see if Hordak was onto something.”

_ “Well, love does wonders for perspective. Genuine love. Have faith in that, if nothing else. Kindness begets kindness, Catra. That was, perhaps, the key he needed. And it is the key that I think you need.” _

Catra smiled and nodded, “Thanks Razz… I’ll, uh… I’ll update you at our sesion of Friday.”

_ “Best of luck dearie. If what you’ve told me about this girl stands true, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” _

  
  


\------

The coffee shop was airy, open. She’d offered the venue because a) it was a public place, thus would reassure her visitors that she wasn’t going to do something crazy and b) it meant  _ they _ wouldn’t do something crazy.

Perhaps.

It also was less  _ formal _ than a meal where politeness would force people to sit around. The venue would mean they could come in, Catra would say her piece and then… well she wasn’t sure. This was her first time doing this. Or rather, being on the end of it where she was asking for something.

What that something was she wasn’t sure, even after a few sessions with Razz to address that specifically. Was it acceptance? Forgiveness? A fresh start? All the options filled her with a sense of anticipation and fear. What if  _ none _ of the options were viable? Razz’s words came to her.

“ _ Consequences, Catra. They live their lives. They aren’t yours to force a decision from. You have to put yourself out there and… hope. And, much as I know it’s difficult to face, you didn’t do that in your life, for others. Is it unfair to expect others to do so without some sort of penance? But people will surprise you. The first lesson in forgiveness is learning to forgive yourself. Then others will see that you are in a place they can consider it. Just be aware it may not happen all at once.” _

Razz talked _a lot_ and mostly made sense. She went off on tangents in her examples, or when relaying a watered down experience of one of her other clients. But she had a good point. She just had to put herself _out there_. And if people couldn’t see that then not much she could do about it. Old her would’ve fumed, gotten angry, resentful even. Blamed them for _not trying_. Or expected things to magically resolve.

New Catra still struggled with that. But the entitlement came from another voice, an external voice. One she’d made every effort to exorcise from her life. She chuckled at that thought, the irony of the words hitting her.

She looked around and swallowed, her nerves still twanging in anticipation. Her fingers gripped the ceramic mug tighter and she forced her knee to stop jigging under the table. The sound of the shop door ringing as it opened made her flinch but she didn’t look up. She kept her gaze focused on her coffee, wondering if now was too late to bail. Then a voice spoke up; nervous, defensive.

“Catra?”

She swallowed, recognising the deep tone, the faint drawl. She had to hide the smile, the faint sense of relief that  _ she’d come _ . With a shuddering breath she managed to raise her gaze, her smile small.

“Hey, Scorpia.”

Her voice came out as a faint rasp. She looked into a face that was still as honest as she;d remembered. A few laughter lines around the eyes, hair still cropped short. The woman was wearing a shirt cropped at the arms, emblazoned with a gym logo. Catra could see one claw clicking with faint agitation whilst the other…

The other was being held by someone. Catra blinked and looked at Scorpia’s companion. Not as tall as the gargantuan scorpion woman, but willowy. Blond, wavy hair cascaded down over bared, tanned shoulders and a freckled face regarded her with something that bordered on curiosity and hostility. Catra swallowed and blinked.

Partly she felt angry. The supposed one to one, the heartfelt reunion she’d aimed for was being  _ intruded  _ upon. But that anger was quenched by guilt. Guilt that now failed to elicit her usual snark, her defensiveness. Because of course Scorpia would have moral support.

They hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms. Hell, her and most of her old crew hadn’t. Or most of the school.

All for some stupid attempt to be  _ popular _ .

For some stupid attempt to stay  _ safe _ .

For tearing down her oldest, dearest friend.

She swallowed and stood. She saw Scorpia had noticed her staring at those clasped hands. So she stuck out her own.

“Hi, um… I’m, well, I’m Catra. Guess you know that? Uh… so, nice to meet you?”

Scorpia blinked, then looked at the girl, then down at their hands (Well, claw and hand), then back at Catra. She arched an eyebrow. But the blond spoke first, “Um, hey. Perfuma. Scorpia’s  _ girlfriend.” _

The way she delivered the word was like a challenge. Did she think she was there to steal Scorpia or….? Ah of course. Of course Scorpia would have confided. But was it everything or just the highlight reel? She pushed the worries away - other people weren’t  _ hers _ . They weren’t  _ things _ to be manipulated into positions she wanted. Not like  _ she _ tried to do. What  _ she’d _ tried to make Catra do to others.

So, Catra smiled and looked between them, “Congratulations. Scorpia I’m…. I’m so glad. Honestly. Can we sit? I mean, I wanted to talk and… there’s a lot I have to explain and... _ apologise _ for. I mean, if… if you’re willing to listen. But, if not… I just want you to know that I am  _ so _ sorry and… you deserved better. From me. From Hordak. From… well that whole week and everything. I know that now.”

Scorpia blinked and Catra saw her lip wobbling.  _ Here it comes, the rage. The bile. The justified hatr- _

The wind was knocked out of her as massive arms wrapped her up and hauled her into the air. She managed a wheezed gurgling noise of confusion as Scorpia practically crushed her, “Wildcat! I… I never… of  _ course _ …”

Over Scorpia’s shoulder she could see Perfuma watching them. Her expression was a surprise: a gentle smile, with something like relief in there. She winked at Catra and nodded. After a few more bone-crushing seconds, Scorpia released her hold and Catra staggered against the coffee table. She gestured to a vacant booth and wheezed out some words, “Uh… only.. Expected you, sorry. Booth?”

The pair moved to take it and Perfuma headed to the counter for drinks, but only after shooting a querying look at Scorpia. The big woman smiled reassuringly and nodded. Catra watched their interaction with something close to jealousy.  _ Had something like that once. Wasted it. _

She ignored the words and sat down, arranging her bag carefully, keeping her eyes averted. Scorpia coughed and Ctra flinched then looked up. The other woman gazed at her with curiosity in her eyes. She still seemed pensive, though. Catra smoothed a hand down one arm and nodded.

“Yeah, so…. Talking… uh… so, yeah. Sorry? Yeah I said that already. Lots to unpack there, lots to get through so, uh, you want to crib notes version or… or do I need to like, flay myself in front of you to know… you’re, like, mostly ok?”

She winced and grinned weakly. Scorpia frowned and held a claw up, “Yeah, ok Catra… it’s… yeha there’s a tonne we need to maybe go over but…. Baby steps, ok? I’m glad you did this. I wasn’t  _ sure _ . But… this is a good step. And I don’t want you to y’know, rip your heart out. I do have questions, so maybe that’ll be easier? Cos, gosh you look about ready to have a  _ bad day _ all over the table.”

Catra managed a weak grin and stiffened as Perfuma came back, then slid into the booth opposite her. She looked at the pair of women then placed her hands onto the table, fingers laced tightly together, “So… uh… Perfuma. How… how much has Scorpia told you about… me? About our past?” she held both hands up suddenly, “Not that I’m saying she  _ shouldn’t have _ .. No! Uh… I just kinda want to know… how much I  _ can _ say or  _ should _ say. It’s… it’s harder than I thought,”

Perfuma looked at her, head tilted to one side then gave a single shoulder shrug, “She told me enough… enough that I felt it important she didn’t face this alone,” Catra winced but Perfuma continued, “But… Scorpia talks about you with  _ sadness _ Catra. Not malice. I, well… I will be honest, I was thinking the worst of you. Have done for a while. But I try to not let negativity drive me. So, I needed to see for myself. And to make sure Scorpia was… safe.”

Catra blinked then gestured at the big woman, “You’ve seen her, right? She could lift a tank and throw it!”

The big woman chuckled, “Oh gosh… remember gym class? I did throw that horse… got coach so mad, ‘ _ Scorpia, we do not throw gym equipment at friends _ ’.”

Catra giggled and nodded, “Yeah. Or the pool, when you threw Mermista one end to the other…”

Scorpia sighed, “Good times… good times… mostly,” her eyes clouded and Catra held up a hand.

“No.. no. Don’t move on. Let’s… let’s actually talk about  _ it _ .”

The willowy blond smiled faintly and nodded. She leaned forward, “Seeing someone? A therapist I mean,” she clarified as Catra flushed. Her ears flattened then popped back up, then she nodded.

“Yeah… so, uh… ok, I think I need to give you backstory, right? And  _ why _ I’m here after all…  _ that _ ?”

Scorpia shrugged, “Therapy made you realise some stuff? Made  _ me _ realise stuff.”

“You’ve had therapy? What did you have to work through?” Catra was faintly incredulous, but the question was genuine, “You were, like, champ for the year… aside from… well…” she trailed off and moved on. If she didn’t she knew she’d crack, “We’ll get to that.. So, yeah, why?”

Across the booth table, Perfuma stroked Scorpia’s claw as the bigger woman heaved a sigh, “Self esteem, mostly. And, let’s be honest Catra, you didn’t help with that. Not all the time.I have to own my own insecurities but I do have to… understand where bad behaviours of others contributed.”

Catra hung her head, but nodded, then forced her gaze back to Scorpia, “Yeah… yeah I was shitty. I pulled you down because… because it made me feel better? Because I was scared. Scared that if you did really well you might not need me? And because I was lashing out. You forgave  _ everything _ so it was easier.”

“And it meant you weren’t as mean to… her, right?” Catra nodded, mutely, “That didn’t last did it?”

“No,” her voice was quiet and she rubbed her nose. Her eyes welled up for a moment but she shook her head.  _ Not now. Focus on Scorpia,  _ “So, yeah… the big one. The whole… well, what you said  _ afterwards _ . After graduation. You’d… you’d avoided Hordak and me. We were riding high on the popularity for a few days, talk of the school and all that but then… then it started to turn. Suddenly it wasn’t a funny prank. Suddenly people started to  _ look _ and… yeah. Hordak wasn’t number one big shit all of a sudden. And once that happened, after his ass got busted for possession on school grounds… yeah my ass was grass. And then you… you said some stuff that didn’t kick in til, like… college. And, well… I was messed up. I was in denial, in a big way. No real friends, all through, y’know? Mom tried to… well, you know all about  _ her _ .”

Scorpia blinked and leaned forward, “What happened?” her voice was soft. She’d clearly seen Catra flinch when she’d mentioned her mom. Or  _ foster _ mom at least. Perfuma looked a bit confused, like she only knew  _ half _ the story. Maybe she did. Perhaps she’d re-evaluate Catra once she told her the truth. Because one thing Catra was done doing was  _ avoiding _ the truth. All in.

“So I uh… I realised in college that… well I knew all along that I  _ liked _ girls, fairly obvious in hindsight? Just… with mom that was  _ wrong _ on so many levels. Got that firmly hammered out of me in school and maybe that’s why I did what I did. Doesn’t excuse it, not  _ at all _ .”

Perfuma watched as Catra took a deep swig of her cold coffee, “What? Disapproving of Scorpia because she’s…? We all have challenges coming out, disapproval. And we judge…”

Catra shook her head rapidly and looked at her, her blue and gold eyes fixing her with a hard stare, “That was only  _ part _ of it. I was a  _ bigot _ . I was  _ actively _ unpleasant to anyone who even looked like they thought that way… and I stayed like that into college… until… until mom… tried to get me  _ fixed _ . Said it was a holiday during summer break… took me to a  _ camp _ where they… they….”

Perfuma reached across the table, her face a sudden flush of anger. But not at her, “What did they…?”

Catra shook her head rapidly, “I lasted two days? Nothing… sexual, if that’s what you’re asking,.. But got electroshock, got… got early wakeup calls, cold water sprays. Bible readings… and I think if I’d stayed maybe… maybe they’d have gotten round to  _ that _ … I heard people crying in the dorms… but I thought  _ fuck it _ . That’s what snapped me...I … I stole mom’s car and dumped it back in town. Told her that if she reported me I’d get her on kidnapping, some bs. Haven’t heard from her since.”

She wiped a tear from her cheek and shook her head. Scorpia looked mortified, “Oh, Wildcat,”

Catra chuckled morosely at the old nickname, “Hey, I had it coming… after what I did to Adora.”

Perfuma frowned and looked at Scorpia, “Adora?”

Scorpia sighed and nodded slowly. So maybe some of the story had gotten through. Catra heaved a shuddering breath, “So, yeah…. You guys still in touch…?” her voice carried a faint trace of hope. Scorpia eyed her warily.

“Was this just so you could….?”

Catra shook her head violently, ears flat against her head, “God no, NO Scorpia… I… I need to talk to her, but.. But i didn’t just set this up for  _ that _ …”

“So, what, apologies and then?”

The cat girl ran a hand through her tousled hair, “I don’t know. I wanted to… just let you know I’d changed. Or I’m trying to change. To be better. And that doesn’t mean I expect we can start again or that we can be besties, or whatever. But the choice is yours. If… if you can forgive me, some day… “

Scorpia sniffled again and smiled, “Yeah.. it’s a  _ lot _ Wildcat. But… you’ve been through something bad.”

Perfuma nodded slowly, still seemingly angry on Catra’s behalf, “That’s.. Abominable. How could a mother think to...to…”

Catra shook her head, “Don’t think I’m some sort of… good guy, Perfuma. I’m not. What i said about deserving it? I guess Scorpia didn’t give you the whole story? Just her… and me falling out?”

“She said... oh! Sorry love, I’m speaking for you….”

“No, no you tell her.. Or else I’ll be here all day! Bawling, and, well, I don’t know if i can go back to the gym with puffy eyes and, well, then that’d be a lot of muscle-girls not taking me seriously and…”

“Crying is healthy and a  _ good _ way to express. I’ve said that. And your girls would love to see you break that stoic mask now and then!”

“Awww, thanks love….” Catra watched the back and forth and suddenly relaxed. It felt like  _ belonging _ . But then Perfuma looked back at her and a cold feeling settled in her stomach. She girded herself and nodded.

“So, uh… yeah back in High School we were this clique. The popular kids, or the athletes at least, right? Head guy, biggest jock on campus, Harry Hordak. Dad’s a bigshot guy, runs a corporation? Got some fancy latin name, all that? Old money, basically. So, rest of us on the teams just… formed around him. Me, Scorpia, Lonnie, Rogelio... Kyle, for somereason,”

“Fencing,” murmured Scorpia.

“Oh, yeah… fast little fucker… anyway… yeah, us and... Adora. She was a  _ beast _ . And Adora and I, we were… old friends. Thick and thin. So, we’re popular but we’re also… kind of assholes? Mostly in the last couple of years. Scorpia not so much, she was always trying to be kind, but she was like the exception. Her and Adora. Adora just avoided it, too many commitments and extras. But she was also the only one who stood up to Hordak’s bullshit. And he just let it slide. Think he thought they were gonna be prom king and queen.”

She could help but chuckle at that, slightly bitterly. She hadn’t recognised the emotions at the time - the jealousy she’d felt. She thought she was jealous of Adora’s relationship with Hordak. Or that Hordak liked her better or something. She saw it for what it was now - she’d wanted  _ Adora _ .

Perfuma nodded slowly, “So you guys were… bullies?”

Catra shrugged, “Not much? Not stealing lunch money, but we weren’t  _ nice _ to people who didn’t fit the normal high school expectations? Punched down a  _ lot _ \- sometimes literally… unless Adora was around.”

Scorpia nodded sadly and Perfuma gave her a sympathetic smile, “I know I’ve talked about this, ‘Fuma. Not proud of it. I was… I was weaker then.”

“You wanted approval. Teenage years are so… volatile. And you lacked a core guiding beacon.”

“Nah, I just… well, you know Catra I wanted  _ you _ to like me… more than just a little. But then again, we didn’t know what that meant back then…”

Catra shook her head and gave Perfuma a lopsided smile, “Small town, y’know? Really conservative. Hordak’s dad ran the PTA, sponsored a load of churches, y’know? Pride was a sin, not a festival, all that?”

Perfuma smirked in spite of herself, “So, closed off, no real resources and discouraged experimentation… sounds  _ fun _ . Scorpia's mentioned a lot of this. Her mom's had to... be discrete.”

Catra nodded, “And… well, my mom was  _ big _ in the churches. Well known. Not  _ liked _ but respected. Scared the shit outta everyone. You stepped out of line and you were  _ off _ lists, or mailing groups or community events. Scary…. So, yeah.. But still, no excuse for what happened.”

Perfuma glanced at Scorpia who was looking out the window, “Something bad, I assume? Worse than… worse than your fallout with Scorpia?”

Catra nodded, “Much worse… I….” she swallowed, then drew in a deep breath, “I outed Adora. To the whole school.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, comments are appreciated. I want to do this justice.


	2. Let it Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra unburdens herself a little more and Scorpia reveals some surprises.
> 
> Sometimes change needs a push.

Perfuma stared at her. Catra held her stare but couldn’t stop the tears. The blond blew out a breath and nodded slowly, which made Catra cringe internally. She waited for the girl to castigate her, for disappointment to flow over the features, for righteous anger to come spilling out. Outrage, scorn. From what she had gleaned of Perfuma, the girl was protective. And if she knew Adora in some way, that’d probably extend towards her as well. Catra inhaled and prepared for the onslaught. She’d weather it. It was no less than she  _ deserved _ .

_ Filth. Failure. Disappointment. No wonder she left you, filthy though she was. She could still be redeemed, you cannot! _

The words were muted in her head. Always there. Nowadays she was able to look at them analytically, sneer at them for the ghosts they were. But right  _ now _ they sliced thin razors across her soul. She  _ didn’t _ deserve any kindness, any…

Perfuma blinked, then rose. Catra’s eyes tracked her and, for some reason, she felt a deep apprehension. As if this was a tipping point. 

The willowy blond walked around the table and hugged Catra. 

The cat girl blinked. Inside her mind, a fuse blew and the floodgates opened. She clung to the girl, suddenly  _ fervently _ wishing it was  _ another _ blond. One with blue eyes rather than brown. Someone who smelled of the gym and cherry deodorant, rather than cinnamon and  _ flower shops _ .  They stayed like that for a moment until Perfuma straightened. Her smile was genuine. Catra waited for the  _ thank you and this is goodbye _ . But the girl nodded, “Your actions were awful…. But I don’t know the details. The fact is you were shaped by your environment and you are  _ trying _ to be better. I have to look at your actions now, have to see that you are trying to be better.  _ This _ … this was brave.”

Catra sniffled and looked at Scorpia. It was weird - she was here to get  _ something _ . Scopria’s friendship? Or at least something approaching closure, for both of them? So why did this relative stranger’s approval matter so much? She watched the blond sit down and managed to clear her throat, “Thanks… that’s… kind I guess. But I have to really be honest, y’know. I think it’s necessary. But I admit it’s kinda selfish?”

Scorpia frowned at that, “What, being nice is selfish?”

Catra snorted and sniffed, then drew the back of her hand across her eyes, “Well, you haven’t got a selfish bone in your body, Scorp… Scorpia. Sorry. Not there yet, I know,” The other girl gave her a faint smile, still some pain in there. Catra pushed on, “Selfish to, well, unburden myself, maybe? But then it’s also a chance for others put a pin in it? Know that I got my comeuppance, maybe? That I’m trying to be better? I don’t know… I don’t have expectations. But I know I  _ need _ to do this. To make amends, some how.”

Scorpia cocked her head, “I get you Wildcat. But… I’m small potatoes.”

“No.  _ No _ . You matter. You mattered to me and I have to show that. I was a worse person for… for not accepting you back then, whatever fucked up background motivations I had. It was still  _ me _ that did that. So, I will fix it… or at least give people closure.”

The two women exchanged a look and Perfuma sighed, “Easier said than done with some.”

Catra frowned, “You mean Adora, right?”

Perfuma nodded, her expression pained, “She’s… difficult. Not just to get hold of but… to  _ reach _ ?”

Scorpia nodded sadly, “Reached out to her a year ago. We all lost touch after High School. Didn’t know where she went, remember?”

Catra nodded, “She didn’t turn up for graduation. That was embarrassing for the staff… she was supposed to do the speech. And then… then we had that whole  _ walk out _ … or you guys did.”

Scorpia shrugged, “Bow and Glimmer… you always did underestimate them.”

Catra flinched again. Those two had been part of Adora’s non-clique friend group. And another source of resentment for Catra. She’d thought Adora had abandoned them, had walked away. Was  _ ignoring _ them, wasting her time with nerds when she should’ve focused on sport or the  _ parties _ . The last week of High School had gone from adrenaline high to fucking  _ misery _ as the school slowly turned on her and the group. And those two had had a major hand in it.

So, of course, she’d used that to vent and blame them  _ and _ Adora. That rage had lasted for  _ months _ , kept her going, helped her just push through the first few months of college. Built herself a rep as a snarky, no nonsense grade-A  _ bitch _ . She’d cooled after her first year, having mostly steered clear of the Pride groups and anything deeper than a quickie with a couple of guys. And that had been fine right up until she’d gotten drunk at a party and ended up making out with some girl for an hour, during the start of her second year.

Catra relayed the story as she wrung her hands on the table. She’d been studying a mix of business (Because her mom was practically in  _ love _ with Hordak’s dad. And thought an elective in business was a good idea) and had, basically, just thrown herself into studying. It was weirdly funny, in a way, how her mom was still a big Hordak fangirl - Harry had been busted the week of Graduation, with so much  _ gear _ in his car even his dad couldn’t pull the strings fast enough. So, Harry had been cut loose, ended up with a few months for possession (his dad did get him off the serious charges but then that was  _ it _ \- Harry had become a liability)

But still, Shadow Weaver, or rather  _ Sharon _ to use her proper name, had insisted she continue in the Business course. She didn’t stop Catra taking side modules in art, though. Those she’d done sort of as a side piece during first year, just a few bits on art history, theory and all that. Maybe a couple of music lessons too, but those she dropped due to costs. So, just dabbling in the arts for a year, ramping up in second year as she found she kind of liked it. And that had led to the party and the  _ girl _ .

Perfuma cocked her head, but Scorpia spoke, “What was her name?”

Catra snorted and shook her head, “Can’t remember. I was… I was  _ blitzed _ . Had a joint, so much beer. Broke the kiss and I fucking  _ ran _ . And then I did something  _ even worse _ .”

Perfuma frowned, “What?”

“I called my mom. Told her.”

Scorpia winced, “Oh boy. Yeah, can imagine  _ that _ was a doozy of a phone call.”

Catra hissed, ”Nah, worse bit? She said ‘ _ I knew this would happen. Come home. We’ll fix this.’ _ ”

The other two women nodded solemnly. Perfuma spoke up, “The camp?”

“The fuckin’ camp. So I noped the fuck outta there… and the cut ties.. I went from zero to fuckin’ scared in a few days.”

The bigger woman folded her claws on the table, “But i guess you didn’t dive right in… heh, oh sorry, that’s uh… oh inappropriate wording, oh gosh, too much?”

Perfuma rolled her eyes and hugged her girlfriend’s arm, “Don’t break the girl, dear.”

Catra snorted again and hid a blush, “Well, yeah. I just knew I didn’t want my Mom’s brand of ‘cure’. So,I uh… I uh went back to college… I vented. Avoided my art stuff for a month. And I may have…. May have sent some shitty emails to Adora’s account, just… blaming her?”

Scorpia stared at her and Perfuma sighed, but not unkindly, “Stress hits us in different ways.”

The cat girl nodded mutely. Scorpia sighed, “Wildcat… sounds like you were in a bad place. What did… what did you say to her?”

“It’s… it was drunken rambling. Badly spelled emails. Saying how she ruined me. How I was  _ tainted _ . How my mother wouldn’t love me… there.. .there was a  _ lot _ Scorpia. Like, I said stuff like I wouldn’t even help her if she was falling off a cliff, that now she’d gone I was able to  _ be me _ without her lying and… and…”

Catra gripped the coffee mug tightly and steadied her breathing. The girls watched her, tense as she drew in her breaths, swallowed the tears. Slowly, Scorpia reached across the table and touched the tip of her claw to Catra’s fingers, “Hey… hey. We’re here.”

“I… I don’t know how. How to  _ fix _ this. I want to fix it. Or… or let her know, y’know? Let her.. Let her just scream at me. That’d,” her head sagged, “That’d be enough.”

Perfuma winced, “Yeah, you won’t get screaming from Adora. She’s… she’s scary calm. At least when I’ve met her.”

Catra looked up, frowning, “What d’ya mean?”

“Well, she’s… she works in motivational speaking, or something like that? Charity work, for some big institute,” Perfuma shrugged, “She has this amazing speaking presence. I’ve only seen her speaking, maybe had a word or two after a conference. She’s… nice? But it’s like talking to a screen, she just seems to take a moment for the message to go in and then… yeah. Never seen her rattled at all. And I’ve seen speakers. They get  _ twitchy _ . Not Adora.”

That sounded weird. Adora had  _ hated _ public speaking. She’d beaten off Hordak’s public declarations of his  _ love _ . As far as she’d observed she ducked the spotlight, beyond waving at the crowd after a game. She’d been dreading Prom for that reason. And also for having to pretend to be  _ intimate _ with Hordak. The latter had assumed they already were, of course.

A fact that he now found hilarious in a dry sort of way.

“So, what… what changed Catra? If you had that reaction?” Perfuma’s voice was soft. It almost set Catra off again.

“Weird…. I know. Like, so many steps. First off, I… I had a bad few months. Then my tutors started to really get in on my bad grades. Mom had cut me off, so, yeah… needed cash, got a job, really had to pull myself together. And the anger wasn’t doing me good. Some classmates said I needed help and… I refused,” She swallowed, “Basically, i got to third year  _ somehow _ . Halfway through, near finals… I was a hermit basically. Just, messed up? Partying, drinking, but still getting the grades. Then  _ he _ called.”

Scorpia frowned and looked at Perfuma, “Who?”

“Harry Hordak… seems, uh… seems he’d got his shit together after his stint inside, had a couple of years out. then, well… totalled a car he’d built for himself. He was in a bad way. Had no one to call from the hospital. And… and he was terrified. I was his only contact. His dad wasn’t accepting calls. He’d tried my mom and she’d just said  _ Trust in your faith _ and hung up on him… so that left  _ me _ .”

Scorpia goggled at her, “What?”

“Yeah, so, second year me, full of just so much  _ stuff _ … I went to see him. No idea why. Maybe to shout at him as well? Tear chunks, ‘cos I needed to hurt  _ someone _ . And then I saw him…”

\-----

_ The hospital had been quiet. She’d caught a train back to their small town, leaving Brightmoon behind. The duty nurse had led her to a hospital room where a police officer stood, all olive green uniform and stun baton. They’d given her the once over then let her through. _

_ She had been fuming all the way here. Over the past year Hordak had become an equivalent monster in her head - goading her into acts in her memories; pushing her to be what she became. Same as her mom. Same as  _ Adora _ , with her sudden betrayal. Though that last thought was harder and harder to keep a hold of. _

_ Her fists were clenched, her jaw set. She didn’t know why she was here. Maybe to see one of her monsters finally slain? See him, watch him beg? Beg for what? Help that she could spit back in his face? Revenge. Yeah, that’d do. Kick him while he was down, like he’d left her to be kicked. Make him hurt. Make him… _

_ She pushed through the door roughly and then froze. _

_ Hordak lay on a bed. He’d changed since she last saw him - thin, rake thin. Paler. He’d always had a weird white-skin but now it looked drawn. Red eyes lacked the usual fire as they flickered open weakly. She thought his voice had sounded strained over the phone, but she’d put it down to the line. _

_ “Cat...ra?” _

_ She saw the tubes that led into his nose and the IV drip in his arm. He tried to sit up but he moved strangely, whimpering as he looked down at his legs. She blinked and managed to find words. _

_ “He...ey Hordak… you, uh… you don’t look so good.” _

_ He managed a chuckle but it sounded forced, “I have… been better.” _

_ She walked slowly into the room and dragged the sole chair over. She noticed how bare the place was. No flowers. No gifts. Nothing, “So, when’s dad…” _

_ “Do… do not mention him. HE has made it clear I am… not wanted.” _

_ That made her lean back, “Fuck.” _

_ “And your mother, likewise. I…. I never really understood your animosity. Now… now I share it.” _

_ He leaned back and his eyes fluttered. She felt at a loss. Her anger bubbled but seemed suddenly muted, “Yeah… yeah she’s kinda… a bitch.” _

_ “Indeed. And I… I….am… lesser.” _

_ She frowned at the words. Hordak had always been pompous. Verbose, as he might have said, “What, you busted a car…” _

_ “No, Catra. I have… I have killed a man,” he said it quietly, but with certainty, “And I have reaped a just reward.” _

_ She stared at him. His tired, red gaze met her own mismatched one, Uh, ok, that’s… that’s fucking big. So, what, jail time?” _

_ “Perhaps. If father is truly done with me. But no… I…. am less of a man now. I am  _ alone _. And I am broken,” he tapped his legs, under the sheets. His face was still a stoic mask, but Catra watched as his throat trembled, “All gone. All gone now…” _

_ \---- _

Catra finished her coffee and stared into the mug. She heard some shuffling across from her and looked up. Scorpia was staring at her, “We didn’t know.”

“Nah, no one did. His dad,  _ again _ . Didn’t reach out to his son, but made sure all the bad press  _ went away _ . Maybe hoped the guy would bite it in hospital, just another annoying loose end. So, yeah… Hordak… Hordak’s paralysed. Waist down. Big school jock, sports career gone after that drug bust, middle management career gone after his dad basically disowned him and then… yeah. Never seen someone so… done. Well… that’s a lie. It was the same damn expression Adora had.”

The two girls looked a bit overwhelmed. Catra couldn’t help but chuckle humorlessly and waved at them both. Scorpia shook her head, “Woa… big…”

“Yeah. And the worst thing… he had a bit of a realisation. Guy just babbled at me, as much as Hordak ever really  _ spoke _ . When he wasn’t speechifying, y’know? And fuck me if it didn’t just kick my legs out, y’know? Poor word choice. But this guy he’s… he’s got  _ nothing _ now. All gone. None of his friends bothered to visit. His teammates, our old gang. No one. Except… except he got a card.”

\----

_ She visited every few days. It wasn’t a long ride, a bit dull. But strangely the visits were calming. A weird sort of reinvention of their old camaraderie. Their old relationship had been one built on superiority: over others, over the school, over the future maybe. Drawing others into their fold, getting their praise, their adoration. Like a drug. _

_ Until that week that it had all gone away and it had then gone wrong. _

_ The police officer had gone and Hordak had been moved to a public ward whilst undergoing physio. His court date was set and apparently his dad had given him a lawyer. But a rather mid tier one. _

_ She found Harry had company. It was the first of two things she noticed. _

_ The company was a girl with overalls and ridiculously long purple hair. Harry was stood against a frame, supporting himself with his arms whilst the girl attached a bulky looking set of  _ things _ to his legs and waist. _

_ “So, as you can see, there’s a motorised attachment here and  _ here _. I’ve calibrated ti to your weight and proportions after those measurements I took and, well, as you can see it’s fitting to within a 0.02% margin of error. Pretty happy with that. Right now you operate it via these controls here and here. I’m looking into some sort of electrical stimulation from a neural web, or plug in, but that’s, maybe a PHD program away…” _

_ “I do appreciate this… and I do believe you shall succeed. It is.. Remarkable the progress.” _

_ “Oh um, yeah. Thank you.” _

_ “It is liberating, really. And it makes me feel.. A little less imperfect.” _

_ Catra watched from the doorway, a slight frown on her face. She had a bag of crisps clutched in her hand, along with a dvd She’d been intending to sit and watch a movie but now she felt sidelined. And she didn’t know why, per se. She watched as the purple haired girl looked up at Hordak with something approaching confusion on her face. _

_ “Perfection is impossible. Imperfections make things beautiful,” she said it matter of factly. Hordak just blinked, then looked away. Catra snorted in spite of herself and the pair glanced her way. She was stood just inside the door to the ward. _

_ “Am I… Interrupting?” _

_ Hordak shook his head, “Ah, not at all Catra. You haven’t met Entrapta yet, have you?” _

_ Catra stalked over, her tail twitching with irritation, “Nah, haven’t had the pleasure…” _

_ She wasn’t good at making friends. Her college days were transient and she’d kept people at a distance. Hordak was a sort of reconnection and she felt very very protective for some reason. The purple haired girl stared at her and nodded, then looked at Hordak, “You didn’t mention a girlfriend?” _

_ Hordak blinked, “Catra is a friend. She has been a rock. Someone I can rely on.” _

_ Catra’s irritation waned at that and she felt a bubble of pride in her chest. Hordak nodded at her and she shuffled her feet, “Eh, I think… any decent people would do the same.” _

_ He shook his head, “No, Catra. Neither of us was decent. And I paid for that. I do not blame the others for not reaching out. I doubt they are even aware. I hold no animosity to them, not anymore.” _

_ She blinked. Hordak, who’d blamed everyone but himself in that last week. Who’d ranted at teachers on a bad day. He was being so chill, “Maybe…” she managed. _

_ Entrapta watched her and cocked her head to one side, mouth pursed, “You seem troubled. I should go. I’m done here anyway.” _

_ Hordak frowned as he watched her, “You um… you don’t have to…?” he looked at Catra, suddenly beseechingly. She was mildly taken aback and her irritation shifted to amusement. _

_ “Yeah, we’ve got a film. This asshole needs cheering up. Or the stick removing from his ass, so got a good comedy.” _

_ “You didn’t mention a blockage in your orifice… that could impact my measureme- ohhhhhh she’s indicating your rather overbearing nature! Of course,” _

_ Catra grinned, “I like her! What’s your deal, ‘Trapta? Making my boy here a cyborg?” _

_ “Actually, YES! I’m in a research programme at Brightmoon. Medical augmentations, external prosthetics, exoskeletons, you know.” _

_ “Uh, not really?” _

_ “Well, it’s all very new and  _ exciting _. I’m looking at affordable enablement equipment. Help people to operate in society. People with physical disabilities mainly…” she trailed off a bit at that, her face mildly distracted. _

_ “That’s cool. Anyway, join us… it’d be… nice to share the stick removal duty with someone.” _

_ “You are not amusing, Catra,” growled Harry. _

_ “I’m fucking hilarious Hordak. Now, let’s tow your scrawny ass back to bed and watch this shitty film.” _

_ As she and Entrapta hauled him back to the bed she noticed the  _ second _ thing. A card on the bedside table. Hordak saw it and sighed. His face looked suddenly really drawn. Catra frowned at him. He shrugged, “I received that yesterday. I do not know  _ why _. It is… bothering me.” _

_ Catra moved to the card and flipped it open. She dropped it like a hot potato and stared at it on the floor. Entrapta scooted around the bed as Hordak settled down and plucked the card up, her face a frown, “Not really familiar with card giving as a tradition but… shouldn’t someone write more than ‘hello’ and ‘Adora’? No message except… the printed Get Well. Minimalist. Indicates an obligation.” _

_ Catra breathed heavily and slumped against the bed. Hordak frowned at her and she flinched as she felt his hand suddenly grip her shoulder. Her mismatched eyes met his red ones and she tried to work out the complicated expression on his face. He just shook his head slowly, “I do not know…. _ why _. I do not deserve even that little…. Gesture.” _

_ Damn right he didn’t. And yet  _ she’d _ reached out. Contacted  _ him _. The anger was back, but it mixed with a far heavier, more prevalent emotion. _

_ Guilt. _

_ “I… I need some air.” _

_ Hordak frowned, “Are you leaving?” _

_ She thought about saying yes. About running. From a tiny piece of paper. The idea seemed absurd. So she shook her head, “Nah, just… just a shock, y’know? Get set up. We’ll… we’ll watch the movie.” _

_ \----- _

Scorpia blinked, then frowned, “Adora?”

Catra nodded, “Yeah… and that just made me… I wanted to be angry. But it just took everything I had and I realised she… I… yeah. Anyway, Hordak and I we… we kept in touch after that. He’s still serving time. Open prison though, his dad may not support him, but he’s done enough to keep Harry out of sight. Seven years - the drug charges got brought up, manslaughter charges, all that. So, I talk to him. And, well… he told me I needed to do this.”

“Hordak. Harry Hordak. World’s greatest asshole, womaniser, bully extraordinaire. Told you to go on an apology world tour?  _ And _ he has a girlfriend?” Scorpia looked skeptical.

Catra smirked, “I know. So twisted. But, well… his treatment, whilst I was visiting. It changed him. Not just the accident, y’know? And, well, they bonded. And man, that guy… turns out he  _ can _ be kinda nice when he tries.”

Scorpia blinked, “Say what now?”

“I KNOW! So, yeah… long story short, helping him, visiting him, just… being  _ valuable _ to someone without expectations? Being nice? It… it felt good. So I did more. Actually went to the College counsellor service too. Anyway, I survived college and well, signed up for therapy. Got a job, been doing Business consulting since. Anyway a few months ago Hordak basically says... Says he’s been talking to people. Reaching out to me had put the idea in his head, but it’d taken him a while and, well… he said maybe I should try it? His girlfriend encouraged it. She visits him regularly, medical support apparently to keep his metal-leg things working. Research she says. I know a secret booty call when I see one,” She tried for a grin but it was lopsided, “So, him making connections, meaningful ones. He basically re-evaluated a fuck tonne and so I suggested the idea to my therapist. And bam, here I am.”

Scorpia heaved a huge breath, “That’s a  _ lot _ Catra. I mean, I dig redemption stories, y’know, love me a plucky heroine… but,  _ wow _ . That’s… that’s.”

“I know.”

“Like,  _ immense _ . Life affirming, change your outlook on life and…”

“I  _ know.” _

“It’s, golly… wow. Car crash, metaphor. Wow, that’s... that’s  _ really _ inappropriate. Can i say that? I just did, oh well so…”

“You’re babbling Scorpia,” murmured Catra. She felt, suddenly, drained, “And… hoo this is hard. I don’t know if I’m done apologising yet though…”

Perfuma had been silent but leaned forward now, “This is… is something I’ve not seen before. I run a few help groups, meditation sessions and the like but this… this is profound. How can I help?”

Catra stared at her, “Um, huh?”

“Yeah, how can we help?” Scorpia looked eager now. It was, frankly, terrifying. Catra just blinked as the big woman continued, “We can help, Wildcat!”

“I mean… I… you… we’re still trying to see if we can be friends, taking it slow and…” burbled Catra

“Yeah, naw, that sounds like a lot of assumptions. You said sorry, I was hurting, and now I get it. Perfuma helped me with a  _ a lot already. _ Self esteem, confidence… but mainly being confident in my decisions. And my decision is you are  _ not _ the same, Catra. So, I want us to a) be friends again and b) help you get  _ even better _ .”

Perfuma nodded, “And looking at you now, i know you won’t do anything to hurt Scorpia again,” it was said kindly, but there was a  _ faint _ look in Perfuma’s eyes as she regarded the cat girl. Catra met the gaze and shook her head.

“No. I’m not her anymore,” Perfuma’s gaze was unwavering as she nodded. She wasn’t threatening per se… but it was strangely reassuring. Scorpia had done well, “So, help, uh… what can you guys do?”

The girls exchanged a look, “Well… we can’t get to Adora. Only a few people can really do that.”

Catra swallowed already knowing who, “Yeah?”

The pair winced, “Bow. Glimmer…. They stayed in touch. But even they don’t really update us much.”

Scorpia sighed and nodded, “I’ve… gotten pretty good with those two, now. Mainly Bow. He may be more receptive. Glimmer well…”

“Sparkles was never my greatest fan when we at highschool… she, yeah… yeah she pretty much made sure the whole school hated me by Graduation,” murmured Catra. Perfuma nodded slowly.

“You said this wouldn’t be easy.”

The cat girl ran her hands through her hair and sighed, “So, maybe start small? What about Mermista? Kyle?”

Scorpia shrugged, “I follow Kyle on a few things. He’s a model now.”

Catra blinked, “You. Are. Shitting me.”

“Nope. Lonnie manages him. And, well… um… I know you’re changed your opinions about _things_ , but the next… yeah….”

Yellow and blue eyes narrowed, “What? Lonnie and Kyle?  _ Kyle _ ? Noooo.”

Scorpia grinned suddenly, “Heh, not  _ quite _ .” even Perfuma was grinning. Scorpia fished her phone out and scrolled through until she found a picture then flipped the phone to show Catra. It was a nice picture. Three familiar faces in a hot tub. Fairly PG. Except… two were kissing the central female figure, all grinning whilst doing so.

She blinked. She noted the tags. She looked at Scorpia. Then at Perfuma. Then at the picture. Her mouth opened. Then it closed. She raised a hand. Then it dropped. She opened her mouth again. Finally she found her voice.

“Three. And. In a? They’re all? And they’re?  _ What. _ Lonnie hated Kyle and… Rogelio is...um… he’s. Well,” Perfuma watched her with guarded expression. Catra drew in a deep breath, “Not judging. It’s cool. But… It’s fucking  _ KYLE! _ ”

Scorpia grinned, “I think you mean  _ they’re _ fucking Kyle.”

Catra nearly fell out of her seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write. I went for a "show don't tell" with Hordak as i want you guys to SEE him rather than have him be a second hand account. Plus it's better than seeing a tonne of descriptions from Catra just... summarising.
> 
> Working out the timeline. And trying to avoid this turning into a weird version of Scott Pilgrim where Catra has to win over everyone each chapter...


	3. Catching up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra has survived so far. But many obstacles lie ahead. Has she the stamina, the endurance, the absolute patience needed?
> 
> Does she want to make the effort?

The afternoon had, in her opinion, gone rather well. Better than she’d hoped; had any  _ right _ to hope really. The conversation had shifted really easily to light banter, like the intervening years were no barrier at all. Of course, it was  _ there _ \- the underlying fear, the tension. From her. From Scorpia.

But Perfuma had really helped. Considering Catra had been worried about how the girl would see her, once she’d seen her with Scorpia, it had actually turned into a blessing. If she believed in any deity at all, then, well, she’d have been thanking them for Perfuma.

The flower-girl (turned out, she was a florist!) was a natural peacemaker and had kept the conversation afloat when it threatened to go into the doldrums. Which had only happened twice really.

She’d shown them pictures of Hordak - the red-eyed idiot making an awkward thumbs up gesture, frowning as the crazy-purple-haired maniac that was his apparent girlfriend fidgeted with the unwieldy exo-legs that he was strapped into. Scorpia had looked conflicted at that one - wanting to laugh but also realising  _ why _ he was in the situation. And, well… it  _ was _ Harry Hordak. Prize asshole.

Also, surprisingly solid when you got past the brash idiot.

All that had flown by over the course of a couple of hours. And, whilst fun, it had absolutely  _ killed _ her emotional core. Catra had made it home in a faint haze and now slumped against her closed apartment door. She breathed deeply, eyes closed, letting the day’s events play out under her closed eyelids.

It was  _ good _ . It  _ felt _ good. She felt like she’d taken a step. A tentative one, hell yes, but a step nonetheless.

A meow dragged her from her reverie. She opened her golden and glowered at the preening cat in front of her. It glittered faintly, which meant it was  _ probably _ magical in some way. The shelter hadn’t really  _ said _ of course - magic being one of those weird, abstract, not-really-talked about  _ things _ they all had to deal with.

“Melog. I know I put you on the fire escape.”

_ Purrrrr _

She glared at him, then grinned and opened her arms. The diminutive cat leapt up and landed in her arms and nuzzled her. She sighed and closed her eyes again. She let herself ground in the moment - a good day. Her cat pleased to see her.  _ Positive _ .

_ Only a matter of time, though. You’re a sinner. You always mess things up - never could prioritise. And you know  _ she _ still hates you. _

Melog’s purring intensified, as if he sensed her thoughts. She breathed in a shuddering drag of air and exhaled, then walked from the corridor of her apartment into the living room, where she flopped onto the couch, cat still clutched to her. Melog, for his part, didn’t seem to care overmuch, just burrowed into a more comfortable position on her now-prone form.

Her bag, discarded near the door, buzzed faintly. Catra groaned and dislodged the purring weight, which yowled plaintively. Catra shot him a  _ look _ and retrieved her bag, then settled back onto the couch. She fished her phone out and smiled at the notification:

_ Scorpia has added you to a group: **Build-a-BridgeBear** _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ Hey Wildcat - just making sure this works! _

Catra sniffled slightly and swallowed a lump in her throat. She hadn;t really realised how relieved she was with even this small thing. She’d asked if it’d be ok to keep talking and, when Scorpia had said yes, she’d then looked at Perfuma. She wasn’t used to asking  _ permission _ or for approval, except in rather toxic environments. But this ask had been important. So she’d made a couple of conditions:

_ “We just met, Perfuma so… yeah, despite how kind you are, I want you to uh… I think it’d be good if you, like… moderated this?” _

_ Perfuma had looked a bit puzzled, “Catra, I know you won’t…” _

_ “Yeah, well…  _ I’d _ feel better with ground rules. Because while I’m trying, I know Scorpia goes in feet first. And I  _ don’t _ want to fuck this up. Not for anyone.” _

So, she’d set the rule that she and Scorpia would talk, but only in a group chat - with Perfuma. And she’d made Scorpia promise, to her and Perfuma, that if she sent her a private message, to share it with Perfuma - it could be a mistake, could be her having an episode (Those didn’t really happen now - not to her pre-Hordak crash levels).

Her rationale was:  _ I need a support. And a referee. Alcoholics get buddies, mentors. This is my way of being kept honest. _

The pair had found it a little strange, but Perfuma had looked at her with that measured, calm expression and just smiled at her. Hopefully they’d have a normal back and forth one day but, to be honest, Catra knew she had to rebuild. So, setting boundaries and safe spaces was key. Maybe she was overreacting. But she could tell it had put Perfuma a little bit at ease.

She wasn’t a consultant for nothing - you learned to read people. At least she was using that power for  _ good _ rather than trying to clinch a multi-million deal.

Another buzz from her bag elicited a groan - her work phone. She considered ignoring it, but knew it’d just mean more “ _ plz read, action” _ BS for the following day. She hooked it out and let her personal mobile flop onto her belly. As expected, most of her work stuff was  _ FYI _ style emails. None of which she  _ really _ needed to know about. The odd update on her various projects, slide decks she was expected to re-prep and all that. Some stuff from HR about mandated courses, some visiting speakers from motivational speaking companies, a women-in-business network and some charity fundraiser circulars.

The usual guff of wasteful email traffic. One did catch her eye, from a colleague who she had a bit of a love / hate relationship with. Not a PHYSICAL one, just… good banter.

_ RE: DRUNKY FUN TIM!!!! _

_ Hey Kitten, _

_ PSB - you blew off the last trip out, not in the FUN way! The bar guy was soooo not your type, so you missed out him failing in THE MOST epic way. I wanted to watch him try to hit on you. _

_ For. SHAME. _

_ Anyway, the Partner is asking about updates on the Change piece for that shipping company out of Salineas. BORING yes, but pays the bills. _

_ Ok, work stuff done - DRINKS! When?  _

_ Also, that therapist still good for you? I know my advice is. The. Best (Certified by 98% of drag queens. They NEVER lie. Which is a lie.) You seem more CHILL so, hope that means DRINKS and me watching you pine over girls-who-aren’t-the-one-you-think-about (You need to SPILL on that. I will buy the DRINKS.) _

_ If you hadn’t guess, Kitten, I need. A. Fucking. Drink. _

_ So, Drinks babe? _

_ DT _

Catra snorted at the email and closed the phone down. It would keep until the morning. Nothing major. The shipping deal was a weird one - it was linked to a shell company that was owned by one of her school…. Associates.  _ Seakhawk Distributions _ . And, well, the whole firm was a mess - hence why they’d been brought in to advise internal management on what they were doing wrong.

Which, it turned out, was  _ everything _ .

She groaned at the thought - company memo’s done in the style of sea shanties; redesigns of the company logo in 79 different font types; failed shipping routes and tender processes - the company lead tried to chair  _ every _ pitch meeting as if it was a drinking session.

That approached worked 25 years ago when everyone sat around drinking brandy with their bank manager, but now? Not so much. What was weird was the guy was  _ her _ age, so hadn’t even got age as an excuse.

But Mermista’s dad was sponsoring it and had brought her firm in to help this Seahawk guy fix things up. She was dreading checking her specific email inbox for stuff from  _ him _ . Mainly because it was always so  _ chipper _ . She could handle Scorpia chipper - Scorpia had  _ earned _ it. But being chipper to clients, whilst often necessary, etched at something in her  _ soul _ .

With a sigh, she struggled up right and dislodged a half-dozing Melog, then headed for the kitchen. She wasn’t in the mood, but she knew she  _ had _ to - routine and structure were important. And Catra was nothing if not stubborn at sticking to her guns on things - notably, self improvement. One time, she’d have rolled over and run. That Catra, if she’d stuck with that mentality, would probably be jumping freight trains to the Wastes and busking on street corners. Or dead.

No, Catra had forced herself into a series of routines. It had  _ hurt _ because she associated routine with her  _ mother _ . Sunday to Church, to praise the Guiding Lights of the First One or whatever;

Which was why she was actually  _ cooking _ dinner, instead of just throwing some random ramen and/or Thaymor-budget-store protein into a microwave.

Today was something fish-related - rice, too, done  _ properly _ . Razz had told her how to do it during a session when she;d been lamenting her ability to burn  _ water _ \- a skill she mostly associated with Adora’s disastrous attempts to cater to a sleepover of the girl-group in their early teens.

Forty minutes later, she had a presentable late afternoon meal. She’d skipped lunch and breakfast, so an early dinner seemed appropriate. As she ate at her kitchen breakfast counter on a high stool (Her apartment was nice, but a little small - the kitchen was  _ functional _ rather than spacious) she scrolled through her social media, frown on her face. 

Her next steps were, to put it bounty, going to be  _ difficult. _ She wanted to do a bit of a tour, see people, sort things out. It wouldn’t all go as well as today, that was a given. Some people might not  _ care _ about reconnecting, which bothered her more really.

Others might just be downright hostile. In that campe, Glimmer was the most prominent figure in her minds eye. A tiny, purple bundle of  _ rage _ and vengeance.

Yeah, Glimmer had  _ helped _ with her ostracising after the  _ incident _ . Catra, at the time, had seen it as more evidence that Glimmer had “stolen” Adora; corrupted her, somehow. She’d tried to get Glimmer suspended for “bullying” - but her own mom had been disinterested in fighting a battle on Catra’s behalf; and Glimmer’s mom brought… a  _ lot _ more to bear. So much so that even Hordak’s dad hadn’t gotten involved.

_ So much so _ that Catra had ended graduation with a noticeable space around her and Hordak’s seating. So much, that the school had almost tried giving her diploma to her outside of the school and asked her to not walk up to the stage to receive it.

_ Vengeance and spite: thy name was Glimmer. _ Catra smirked humourlessly. To be honest, with hindsight, she couldn’t blame the girl. And, in fact, was  _ jealous _ .

That should’ve been  _ her _ , basically. Fighting tooth and nail to tear anyone,  _ anyone _ who hurt Adora in thin strips. Should have stood in front of the bullet. Should have called upon every resource to make  _ hell _ on the idiots who thought they could mess with  _ her _ friend.

She laid her fork down and inhaled heavily. Razz’s words from a session a while back rattled in her head:  _ Regret is a teacher, but not a master. Look into the water and see the reflection, study it. But do not dive INTO it, dearie. _

The memories flickered away and she shook her head - it was good to remind herself, sometimes. Some people said  _ don’t dwell _ \- but she’d learned those people didn’t  _ learn _ . She ate mechanically, managing to steer her thoughts back to the happy afternoon. She fished her phone back from the table and fired a few memes to the shared chat - relief, some funny cat videos and a simple  _ Thanks guys _ message.

Food done, she went through her next routine - clean up. Never let things lie, basically; don’t let it fester. She knew she could put jobs and chores off like anything, so she always tried to deal with something minor at the exact point it arose, time willing. It was a good way of preventing the more  _ unpleasant _ aspects of her self-recrimination getting a foot in the door. A lot of her spirals had started with a  _ Oh, can’t even clear a plate up huh? _

With the kitchen tidied and cleared, she managed to idle the early evening away with some dul television, counting the hours until bed. She was tempted to turn her laptop on to work a bit, but resisted it; her therapist had put a stop to  _ that _ compunction - to distract and pour herself into petty distractions, to wind herself up. Most likely she send out some ratty emails to people who didn’t need them - a habit she detested in the senior leaders at the firm.

She was startled from the bland rom-com she was barely engaged with, Melog dozing on her lap, by her phone’s buzzing. She frowned at her personal mobile and saw it was a video call from a saved number - Thaymor Penitentiary. She smiled faintly and answered.

Immediately, the screen was filled by a stern looking visage - pale skin, almost skull like; red eyes; slicked back blue hair. Those red eyes bored into hers. Then the face cracked a small smile.

_ “Catra. You look… tired _ .”

“Harry, good to see you. You look… imprisoned.”

_ “Oh. Original,”  _ drawled the figure on the other end of the line,  _ “Been saving that one, Catra?” _

“Only since last time, idiot.”

They chuckled and shook their heads in tandem, “ _ So, you said you were taking my advice? How did it go… was it… her?” _

Catra winced, “Nah, but… still important. That one’s a bit too big, y’know? Gotta work up to it, get through the others, maybe, build up a good following, show my stuff, gotta…”

_ “Catra, _ ” Hordak’s voice cut through her run on rambling, “ _ One thing at a time. So, was it… worth while?” _

She inhaled and nodded quickly, “You were right, go figure… Scorpia was actually ind of chill.”

_ “Well, you picked the easiest. She was one of the best of us, was she not? A shining example of what…” _

“Hey, save the speeches for your parole board, dork,”

Harry shrugged, “ _ It’s Entrapta… she likes me talking. Cannot quite help my verbosity, and…” _

“Yeah there’s a whole tunnel there we don’t need to go down, concerning whatever it is you two talk about. I bet  _ pistons _ are involved or some shit.”

_ “Pistons, no. Hydraulics. Most certainly…” _ Hordak’s expression was deadpan, then he quirked a grin. Catra grimaced.

“Dude, how can you gross me out with  _ just that _ .”

“ _ You are possessed of an avid imagination, Catra. I just let you fill in the blanks.” _

“Ugh. Ok,  _ moving on _ … it went well. I met her… girlfriend. And, yeah, that was a whole  _ we may need a DMZ here _ waiting to happen but it worked out.”

“ _ Excellent. I am glad. These things are never certain, but you now have… closure. I trust you feel cathartic?” _

“Exhausted, but yeah. And, well… we’ll see.”

_ “I am glad. Maybe, one day… but that is a foolish hope.” _

“Nah, go on. If we’re dreaming, let’s collaborate a bit.”

_ “I was hoping to… see everyone. This experience has highlighted, as I have vouchsafed prior… my loneliness. What I lost due to my idiocy. And my blind loyalty to my father’s ambitions. _ ”

Catra inhaled, “Both of us, Harry. He rejected you, didn’t  _ want _ you. Not for who you are… and yeah, I’d have used that as an insult a while back. But it’s a damn compliment now. Same goes for me.”

_ “Knock us down and see us rise, the phoenix made form.” _

She smirked, “Entrapta clearly is feeding your  _ something _ . You sound enthusiastic.”

_ “You mentioned the parole board. I am being allowed out on limited day release…. Entrapta is putting a proposal together around… maybe some form of house arrest for the remainder of my sentence. As an expert witness, she is trusted by the courts and, well, um…” _

That made Catra sit up. She smirked and arched an eyebrow, “Harry Hordak. Lost for words? Is she… asking you to move in with her?”

_ “It would, apparently, expedite her research papers and allow for…” _

“Wait wait  _ wait _ . So that means you’re now gonna be her, what? Live in lab rat? Test subject? Sex toy?”

_ “Lab partner, I believe is the term _ .”

“You crazy, kinky kids.”

_ “In a few words, Catra- fuck you.” _ but he smiled thinly as he said it.

“Yeah you too. So, just checking up?”

_ “And to see if you were planning a visit soon?” _

“Maybe next weekend. I need to… think about the next steps.”

“ _ Remember, this is not a game. You do not need to amass a set number of followers, hit an arbitrary limit to prove something, Catra. You need only… talk. If you are listened to, wonderful. If you are acknowledged, better. If you are accepted…. The best outcome. But if you are rejected, remember - you did this for them as much as for you and you must accept that. Will you feel better if everyone else loves you but… she does not?” _

Catra tensed up and blew out a breath through her nose. She stared at the screen. Hordak stared back, unabashed. That, or he didn’t realise the impact of his last few words. But then again, few people really  _ did _ . She managed a brittle smile “Dunno. Maybe? Maybe it’d help? Or maybe I;d say the whole thing was a waste of time.”

_ “So, seeing as I have persuaded you onto this path - is it to show Her you care? Or is it because you actually do…?” _

She ran her free hand over her eyes and groaned, “Fuuuuck. Yeah, yeah I thought of that, just… forgot I guess? Well, Scorpia was for… it was for Scorpia. The rest, well… now I’m thinking it  _ could _ help how Adora sees me? But, yeah…”

“ _ Actually… I believe you are avoiding her. Approaching everyone else in your minds eye, it delays the inevitable.” _

“Who died and made you a fucking therapist?”

_ “It is a career I am actively pursuing. I was eldest of seven siblings, Catra… that I am aware of. I spent a lot of time mitigating and managing them, to prevent father’s ire. Maybe, upon release, I can get paid for it.” _

Memories of Hordak’s life were hazy - they’d been round his house a grand total of two times during High School - there’d been evidence of siblings: a missed glance here or there. But the whole family was kept in  _ check _ \- no misbehaviour at all. So they’d been left alone to sit by the pool or relax in front of the ridiculous TV. Hordak was the  _ favoured _ son after all. But there;d always been gossip about how prolific Hordak Senior was. And the many  _ many  _ potential siblings floating about in the ether.

No one ever spoke about it to Harry, of course - a good way to end up in the nurse’s office.

Catra just shrugged at the screen, Eh, make bank, then win at life. At least you have a plan.”

_ “Entrapta has been…. Supportive. And thought it would be a good fit. I now accept my imperfections. I can help others do likewise.” _

“You two sicken me sometimes. If I didn’t like her, I’d almost be jealous….” Catra trailed off. Harry actually smiled a little more.

_ “Well, fear not, Catra. I am not due anywhere. And you will add to your circle of friends, of that I am sure. So… tell me - how did it go? Details, please. I need something to talk to Entrapta about, beyond my last checkers game with Miguel.” _

They went back and forth for a while until Hordak finally signed off. Before he went, he did manage a final parting though, “ _ If you are intending on some grand coup, to persuade Adora of your changed demeanour and ardent support of her as she now is… you do need to consider the Glimmer situation _ .”

Catra leaned back against the couch, “Sounds like a shitty airport novel.”

“ _ I am not privy to those. As such, i do not get the reference. Regardless, you should consider whether interacting with her is worth the… stress. But if you reconcile with Adora, then you  _ will _ have to account for her in some way.” _

That brought a frown to Catra’s face, “Whaddya mean?”

“ _ She was ever the loyal one. I noted it even back then. But I never saw her as anything of import, until her family connections impacted me and even caused my father to pause. She may not accept Adora’s change of heart, if Adora DOES decide to forgive. Would Glimmer sabotage a burgeoning friendship? I am unsure. If she thought you were… of ill intent? Then I would expect her to be exceedingly critical. She may be the first thing you have to deal with. Or accept her as a perpetual obstacle in your crusade.” _

“You REALLY need to tone it down buddy. Entrapta may like that whole  _ technical manual  _ level of detail, but seriously, guy.”

“ _ Apologies. As you would say, ‘get in there and bust a groove’,” _

_ “ _ Ok, fuck off, now you’re trolling.”

_ “Good evening Catra. I am glad it went… well _ .”

“Makes two of us. Good luck with the wedding!”

_ “What, wait…!” _

And with that she hung up, cackling. Her mood sobered faintly as she considered his last words - would Glimmer stand in the way? She was… always exceedingly intense in her feelings. And protective. Well, Adora was protective. Glimmer was  _ clingy  _ protective. She’d been the nerd squad, but that just made her more emotionally volatile. Or so Catra had thought. Perspective and all that.

If she thought Catra was still a Bad Guy, with all that those capital letters entailed? Well, how could she counter that?   
  
Her phone buzzed again and she smiled at a group chat notification.

**_Scorpia_ : ** _ Heyyyyy - so, just so you know, selfie I took, put it up on the ‘gram… hear that’s what the kidZ call it these days. Just so you know, consent and all that. Can try deleting if you want? _

Catra blinked and swallowed. She was normally fairly strict on her social media - she had most of her accounts locked down to stop  _ mom-dearest _ trying to grab images or anything, plus her firm’s policy on association got weird about drunk shots with any identifying IP in the frame… which could include a company  _ pen _ . That said, she’d seen pictures of the partners doing rows of shots, so it wasn’t exactly an  _ enforced _ rule.

Scorpia was… well, Catra knew she was equally private - their shared background in their local town had meant that they’d developed survival instincts, albeit in Catra’s case, a bit later. So, what was she afraid of?

That she wasn’t sure of. At this point, what could her mom do? Unless she was friends with Scorpia on EtheriaGram, then not a lot. She probably couldn’t find it if asked - her mom was a technophobe of the highest order - Catra was just paranoid.

So, what? Catra chewed her lip then sighed. She tapped out a quick response:

_**Catra:** Ok. Get it out there. Face the music of yr choices! _

Why had she said that? Idly she flicked through her phone’s app list and found the icon for her seldom-used account. She pinged her username to Scorpia and smiled as she got an immediate  _ Follow Accepted _ notification. Again, she flagged it to the group chat and told Perfuma to “Keep an eye on that too!”

She looked at the picture - it had been an impromptu “Scorpia Special” - whereby she grabbed two people in a crushing bicep hug, whilst holding a phone out as far as she could. The image was faintly squashed, but Perfuma was there smiling broadly, whilst Catra looked…

Happy.

It was strange seeing that expression on her own face. She smiled, yeah. Grinned even. But it rarely felt  _ bone deep _ . Barely even skin deep. But the image of her, squashed into a coffee house booth, face crowding the frame alongside the other two, it showed she was having  _ fun _ . That her walls were, if not down, that they had gaps.

She saw tags underneath the image:

# _ pastpresentfuture #reconnecting #growth!!!!! #newstarts # healing #WILDCAT _

Catra cringed a little but couldn’t exactly fault Scorpia. She was just lucky the muscular mountain of a woman hadn’t transcribed their whole conversation in hashtags.

She saw a few likes pop up, some Gym friends going by the names:  _ Grizzlor22; TLashur; OctoLady1989 _ . She blinked as she saw someone called  _ Rojellizardlover99 _ like it and tried to click the name, but the account was a private one. She shrugged, then froze. Another name liked the picture.

_ SheRaPower. _

She Ra? That had been… Adora’s track nickname. A joke on  _ She Ran _ but she was so fast, no finished the name in time…

_ Couldn’t be….? _ Catra tried the name, but again, it was a private account - not even a few headline images or an avatar. Most likely a coincidence.

Her gaze was dragged away by a comment that appeared under the picture

_ WTF?! WHEN? SCORPIA! DM-ing NOW! EXPLAIN YRSELF! _

  
From:  **Glitterati4Eva**


	4. The daily grind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Early chapter discusses abuse in abstract terms, with some dwelling on the impact. Also mention of slurs and unpleasant language.
> 
> Catra deals, or tries to. Work beckons and the world turns - things are due to come out of the woodwork.
> 
> This one is a little more "day in the life"- building up to the big reveal in a few Chapters time. Gonna give Catra a run in or three hundred ;)

Sleep was a fleeting thing. She never slept well, not really - that was more a holdover from her time at home with  _ mom _ . She had tendencies towards early starts. Or midnight prayer sessions. Or check ins. So, an unbroken night’s sleep had been a rarity once she’d hit puberty.

Weekend lie-ins were rare and usually only happened during one of her mom’s disinterested spikes, or when the woman had a Church event that didn’t require her daughter. During High School, when her grades had been acceptable, she’d been given some level of lee-way. Her friendship with Harry Hordak  _ also _ gave her some breathing space - it was an “in” for her mother, so she was left alone once that clique was cemented.

But habits were hard to break. And years of guilt and nightmares tended to wreck any semblance of peace. During College she’d fallen on drink. Not heavily - enough to get her into a fuzzy state so she would sleep like the dead. But after the  _ therapy _ …. Or the attempt at therapy, well, that made it all worse.

Drink just made the nightmares weirder. The dunking pool where she’d been forcibly baptised for five hours became a pool of electric green, to mirror the dull lighting of the room. The plain orderlies all blended into one, sharing the same nondescript white-face. In her nightmares, they all turned into Harry, sneering with disapproval down at her.

The electroshock that they applied on day two had been worse. Showing her  _ lewd _ images then zapping her with current. She thought she remembered the attendant smiling as he flicked the dial. In her dreams his grin stretched wide and had too many teeth. His eyes were  _ wrong _ .

These days, she tried to sleep after running through some calming mantras, some light music. Part of her routine - minimise stress or worries.

But that comment by  _ Glimmer _ , innocuous as it was, had set her off with worry again. And, for the life of her, she wasn’t quite sure  _ why _ . What could happen? Would Glimmer get Scorpia to block her? Start a new campaign? ( _ How? They weren’t at school now _ ) Or…. or….

_ Would Adora… what… would she not… would Glimmer stop…. _

She had managed to stop the spiral, ignored the message, right up until she fell into bed. Melog had crawled atop her, his steady purr managing to let her regulate her breathing a little more. It’d been months since she’d had a funk. She didn’t get anxiety  _ per se _ \- but she did sit in her own head and her anger tended to build. Razz had helped her walk through the logic of her thoughts, or their lack. And often, then best way to deal with a demon was to just shine a light at it.

So, at two AM she’d sent a text to the group chat:

**_Catra_ ** _ : Hey, so, saw comment by think Glimmer? _

**_Catra_ ** _ : Full disclosure - if this is an issue, plz tell me and… well, I get it. _

**_Catra_ ** _ : NOT an attempt to guilt trip, btw, know can be read that way. Just… rly don’t want to b an issue. _

**_Catra_ ** _ : So - know I’m a ‘hot topic’ so, if is an issue, let me know and will do what you guys need. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ It’s early, so let me kno in the morning. Sorry if I woke you two! _

She’d barely set the phone down before it buzzed.

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ She’s protective. + confused. + angry? But this is between u n me… n ‘Fuma. Not in a kinky way. Also, not asleep! _

**_Perfuma:_ ** _ Yeah, no thanks love. No offence Catra. Not my type. Nice as you are! Oh goodness, this went off the rails… yes no worries about disturbing. _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ Kinda relieved babe. MAJOR conflict there, hahahaha. Lololo. _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ Anyhooooooo. No need 2 b worried. Glim is… eh, she’ll b angry. But tbh, she’s scared of ‘Fuma getting annoyed @ her ne-way. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Um. What? I mean, u scare me P… mainly cos the whole “Hurt my girl, I will bury you vibe” - which can be cool on the right person (Also, not a come on, full disclosure!!!!!!!) _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ Look @ u! All communicating and setting clear boundaries! What did u do w/ original Catra? _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ Too much? _

Catra read the message and sighed. She was a bit twitchy at it but, really it wasn’t much. When she looked back at  _ old _ Catra she didn’t like a lot of what she saw. But Razz told her that she had to forgive that version of her - she wouldn’t be who she was  _ now _ without her. And also… that Catra had been a  _ child _ . Still forming, vulnerable. So, much as she wanted to make a nasty comment about herself, she resisted the urge.

**_Catra:_ ** _ She got a makeover. Hopefully a good 1. _

**_Perfuma:_ ** _ Indeed! Anyway, Glimmer, while bossy, does not police us. She is welcome to argue her point, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Plus, may help if you do approach her. Early days tho… but I am feeling POSITIVE VIBES! _

They went back and forth a little more and Catra finally signed off. Her main worries were gone, but sleep was still unpleasant and a while coming. Her dreams were not the usual cavalcade of her mistakes. No, this time they were focused on only  _ one _ of them. The BIG one.

_ Blue eyes, staring at her in shock. _

_ “Fucking DYKE! Get the fuck away from me! Don’t TOUCH me.” _

_ Harry Hordak was next to her, which was different from how it’d actually gone down. Around them, it looked like the whole school was around them. Pointing. Whispering. Laughing. _

_ Blond hair whipped around as the girl turned and fled. Wolf whistles and catcalls. Jeers. And uncomfortable silence for the most part. Hordak next to her, smirking then high fiving, “You told her! Fuckin’ rich, stuck up bitch. No wonder she didn’t put out…” _

Again, a blur of how it’d really gone down. It’d been a lot less sudden, a lot slower, drawn out. A lot more shouting. But this slide show of hurt, those blue eyes showing a heart cracking behind them, was seared into her own mind. The _highlights_ as it were... 

She woke with a shuddering gasp, jutting upright in her double bed. Melog yowled in protest and fled the room, annoyed at her sharp movement. Catra, for her part, took several stabilising breaths. Her dreams _never_ gave the full account: she'd tried talking through the whole _event_ with Razz but could hardly do it - the sequence of events, the sheer enormity, it was a jumble in her mind. It actively hurt to think about it, to even recall it.

Catra inhaled slowly and blinked owlishly, then checked her bedside table: 7:12 AM. She groaned and forced her legs to swing out of the bed.  Routine helped. It kept her brain focused. Shower, Melog’s food, get dressed.

Her work phone didn’t flash up with any major meetings so that meant she could be a little more dress-down. Which didn’t mean much to the corporate types, of course. It just meant a less-than-fancy set of tight pants, blouse and jacket combo, in black and red.  Her hair she pulled into a messy ponytail as she walked around the apartment. She sorted her laptop away into it’s case, then made sure she had the hard-copies of the files she’d been reviewing - sometimes paper was better than staring into a screen. She checked her bed-side clock again as she moved back to the bedroom, sorting through her currently clean selection - 7:45.  _ Plenty of time. _

Dressed, laptop bag slung over her shoulder, all her basic accessories sorted, she was out of the apartment by 8, down the street to the metro station and en route into work by 8:15. She watched the same mix of high rises and old-architecture stream past, Brightmoon in all its glory. The journey from her part of town to the central business district was twenty minutes; she was usually lucky to get a seat, so she contented herself with leaning against the wall of the carriage, eyes fixed on the scenery as it whipped by.

Sometimes she listened to music. Most days she was content to just listen to the rattle of the train, the murmur of fellow passengers. Today she was mainly wrestling with her own internal thoughts, the scenery ignored as her minds eye tried to rustle up unpleasant memories for her viewing pleasure.

She ignored it.

From the metro, she dropped into her regular coffee shop, on the corner near her office. It wasn’t a big chain, which in her mind made the stuff taste a bit better. But anything was better than the brown excuse for caffeine that came out of the machines in the office.

Every day, the same. No real deviation. No real shift. It kept her on track, kept her safe.

And she’d thrown a huge wrench into it by reconnecting with Scorpia; but it felt  _ liberating _ . She’d been part dreading that she’d have collapsed, or that her normal routine would have imploded. But instead it felt like she was onto  _ something _ new. Not necessarily  _ easy, _ but new. And it felt… good.

Her office was in one of the many  _ many _ glass-and-stone buildings of the Central district. It wasn’t as industrial as, say, The Fright Zone - the colloquial name for the rust-belt type towns, like her own home  _ sweet _ home. Home had been a factory town that had gone bust, then rescued by Hordak’s dad. Rusted old factories turned into modern, streamlined offices. But it had been a soulless place, really.

Brightmoon, on the other hand, managed to have office buildings that  _ looked _ nice - not so much  _ steel _ or exposed faux-industrial designs; instead the buildings were layered with brick-work and spread apart, with greenery between them. Water features dotted the central district, interweaving to give the impression of an entire river or delta system was threaded between the massive structures.

The buildings themselves also weren’t so tall as to block sunlight either - they were all constructed to maximise light and air.

All in all, not a  _ terrible _ place to work.

The firm she worked for rented a few floors in one of the nicer buildings. They shared with a law firm and a couple of smaller start ups. She’d mentioned one of the start ups to Entrapta once and gotten a derisive snort about  _ knock offs _ and  _ late to the party _ \- they did something with remote computing and she’d read one of their brochures. They used the word  _ synergy _ 12 times in the first three pages. The staff didn’t mingle much, each floor having its own tagged passed to get past the elevator corridor. But the ground floor cafeteria was communal.

The lobby was relatively quiet at 8:45 when she got in, but she waved at the security guard on duty at the desk, next to a bored looking receptionist. It always helped to be nice to the back-office staff, Catra had learned. They  _ knew _ stuff about the building, about the businesses. She’d seen a cocky associate fall afoul of someone they thought was unimportant and had learned to  _ not _ underestimate anyone.

Which was probably why she was still fixating on Glimmer and her inevitable attack. Because there would be one. Of course. Why wouldn’t she? Catra was  _ evil _ in her eyes.

“Hey Kitten, heavy night? Anyone I know? Or I should  _ get _ to know, hmmmm?”

The voice always drew a faint smile to her lips. She glanced up from her coffee as she walked across the lobby and found DT matching her step-for-step. Clearly they’d followed her in and she just hadn’t clocked them.

“Hey, uh… nah. Saw an old friend and, well… it was kinda nice? Not like  _ that _ you perv!”

“Oh for SHAME. You wound me, kitten. I would never…”

“Uh huh.”

“I would never…. Not ask,” they grinned and the eyes blinked  _ sideways _ . Catra had tried broaching the subject of DT’s parentage once, but got an arched eyebrow and a grin in response. She’d never tried since. Suffice to say, DT was reptilian. With a fantastic head of blond hair that they kept immaculately presented.

Today, DT was in a fantastic skintight body-suit with a blazer. The sleeves on the blazer were rolled up and they had their hair in a set of pigtails. Because why not.

“Appropriate? You trying to give the client a heart attack?”

“Me, kitten? You’re not exactly slumming it, babe. Anyway, it’s  _ Seahawk _ …. Not exactly big budget. You know they have  _ fifteen _ outstanding insurance claims? And they have abso-fucking-nothing in terms of, y’know… management structure? Have you seen the memos?”

Catra chuckled, “Yeah… freakin’  _ weird _ .”

“Well, apparently the big man for their firm will be here…”

Catra froze in front of the lifts and swallowed, “Um… Mr… Mr Salineas?”

DT frowned and then arched an immaculately groomed eyebrow, “No sweetie… the guy who runs the subsidiary… he's actually _called_ Seahawk… if you’d believe  _ that _ .”

Catra’s tail swished from side to side and she inhaled carefully. The elevator doors dinged open and the pair stepped in, “'S a relief. Not in the mood to brief, like, a big CEO… and wasn’t in the diary.”

“Ohhhhh! You’re whole  _ don’t surprise me or my tail goes poofy _ thing, right? Babe, we’re consultants. They designed the curve ball just so we could try to sell it to people.”

“Ain’t that the truth.  _ UGH _ . More coffee is needed.”

The elevator trundled up, with them as the sole occupants. They stepped out onto their floor and tapped through the barriers into their offices. The place was set up in an open-plan format. No real allocated desk spaces - just a whole “set up wherever” sort of attitude. Personal lockers were set against the central walls, whilst large windows kept the whole space airy and light. Spaces were setup for group meetings - large tables, with bench-like seating, surrounded by low cubicle walls; white boards liberally spread across the space; TVs on the wall, playing a series of awards and accolades the company had won, along with announcements of upcoming company events.

Catra stalked to a clear space and settled in. DT set up beside her, then vanished to get their own coffee.

A presence made Catra pause halfway through booting her laptop and she turned to find one of the Partners smiling at her. Never a good sign.

“Hey Catra! All ok?”

The Partner in question was a woman for whom the term  _ curves _ had been made for. Not fat, just  _ very _ well rounded. Healthy looking. Also  _ very _ purple. Spinnerella Du Vent was one of the friendlier of the two Partners in their team. Also, she was married to the other one, a fact that the company didn’t seem to have issue with. If anything, it meant their team was  _ more _ focused.

“Oh, uh… hey Spinnerella… can i help you?”

“Just checking in. Yesterday was your first day off in… eight months. All ok?”

“Oh, um… yeah just some personal stuff.”

Spinerella studied her for a moment, then nodded, her smile gentle, “Ok. Just remember, you do need to take  _ more _ time dear. Your holiday allowance is racking up and Nettie and I have barely seen you draw breath. There’s giving your all, and burning out… just, please consider taking some  _ more _ time, ok? We do kind of  _ need _ you…”

That made Catra blush faintly and she rubbed the back of her beck, “Oh, um… that’s… nice. So,” she coughed and grinned impishly, “A raise then?”

Spinnerella laughed - it was a sweet, soft sound and her smile broadened, “Well, appraisals are due. I think you can be confident of something good Catra. Especially if Nettie gets her way. You’re still good for the eleven with the Seahawk files?”

“Oh, uh yeah… did some more on them yesterday and got most of the actual assessment done just from what they’ve given us. WWe’re presenting today, right?”

“Just a small heads up on our processes, expectations and a  _ brief _ overview of our initial thoughts. I know you go in deep, Catra dear. All eventualities and all that… but we don’t want to give them that right out of the gate - let’s…. Let them  _ ask _ and then let us  _ sell _ your time to them. No freebies!”

Catra nodded, “Sure… no freebies.”

Spinnerella nodded then gave her a wave goodbye and departed. Catra exhaled - it was usually a good interaction with a Partner if you came out of it without more work to do. So that had been a  _ double _ good talk.

DT ambled over and arched their eyebrow again, “Ooooh swanning with the bigwigs, huh? Leaving little ol’ me behind.”

“Oh shut  _ up _ .”

“Ok, drinks when? Because I am  _ dying _ here. And we need to try that new club… Crimson something… I hear it’s a total  _ dive _ . Maybe we find you a nice pretty thing and you can get your mind blown enough to stop moping.”   
“I do not mope!”

“Ugh, kitten, you do it  _ so well _ . I have never seen someone glaze over as fast as you on a night out. I mean, you’re  _ great fun _ when you let loose, but dear  _ lorrrrrrrd  _ you need to just get fucking  _ laid _ bitch. But every time I kick some pretty thing your way you kill it  _ dead _ . Or you have done the past few months. Last year, ooooof I’d swear you had a revolving door….”

“Ok, first, gross. Second, I had a relapse last year. Bad headspace, ‘k? Not really into fuck ‘em and flee, y’know?”

“Babe.. We’re busy bitches. Places to go, companies to sell shit to and poor, attractive clients to seduce. We’re young! So MANY mistakes to make, y’know? It doesn’t  _ need _ to be love. Live in the moment. If only for a night, because  _ damn _ I need us to go out.”

Catra narrowed her eyes at DT, “You want to torment me for an evening, is what you mean.”

“Am I that transparent?” DT mugged innocently Catra pushed their shoulder and snorted.

“You are the  _ worst _ . Fine. Book something in. Let’s grab some others too. ‘Cos I do  _ not _ want to be the only one you fuck with.”

“It’s a date! In as far as we would date, which is, no offence, not at all. I mean, you’d be  _ great _ I can tell but  _ ugh _ you’d want to cuddle after and that is a  _ no no _ for me.”

That made her chuckle, “Don’t make me cancel. Now, can you go rustle up that slide deck for Salineas? We’re on at 11.”

The morning flipped by - a mess of spreadsheets, banter and final tweaks on dry data. But picking holes in things and seeing an answer was Catra’s  _ gift _ . It wasn’t art, but it was  _ paying work _ . And she was good at it. So, she was all prepped, raring to go. The call came in from the front desk that the clients had been shown in and sent to the floor above where the meeting rooms were. Catra and DT slid print outs into binders and joined Spinnerella at the elevator. They ran through the basics - who was speaking when, the brief outlay of the meeting. They’d run through it all before, with the work today just being tidying of the information.

Anyway, Spinnerella was letting Catra run through this - she was attending because clients liked having Partners present - made them feel important. Even if it was a relative waste of Partner time.

Catra felt confident, on top of things. She’d conquered her fear with her friend; she’d gotten into work without turning into a bawling mess. She’d produced some decent work and, with her progress in the company, looked to be on course for at least a pay review. 

So, of course, things went sideways as she opened the meeting room door and found herself face to face with not  _ just _ the owner of the  _ Seahawk _ shipping company, but also a  _ very _ familiar dark-skinned girl in a teal-business suit, dark-brown hair set into thick waves with a hint of blue highlight.

Catra blinked in surprise, whilst Spinnerella and DT entered behind her, oblivious. She just stared, laptop clutched to her chest, like a shield.

Across the table, Mermista Salineas leaned back and fixed her trademark unamused gaze on Catra. She heaved a sigh and folded her arms.

“Oh. It’s  _ you _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little one - I'm trying to not get lost in the detail, but wanted to show Catra operating as a "functional" cat-being in the world of work... and we're about to see it maybe get messed up...
> 
> Feedback always appreciated!


	5. Catch and Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A briefing goes well for a time. Mermista has THOUGHTS on things.
> 
> Catra takes a risk. Spinnerella explains how the world isn't all that bad.

Their former relationship hadn’t been complicated. In fact, they’d gotten along fairly well: similar sense of dry humour, similar scorn for most of the school population; similar eye-rolling impatience with overly earnest declarations of any stripe.

But where Catra had been academic, with only a passing interest in sports, Mermista had been Captain of the water polo team; where Catra was firmly middle class (Aspiring to  _ higher _ thanks to her foster mother), Mermista was the daughter of a wealthy family. Her father owned several major shipping firms across the globe and yet, for some reason, had sent his daughter to their tiny town school. She’d never asked why and Mermista hadn’t offered a reason.

Catra had assumed it was a punishment or just Mermista wanting to rebel. But, as she locked eyes with her old sort-of-friend, she didn’t wonder if it hadn’t been a test of sorts. Mermista always had a fairly put upon attitude, but what she knew of Mr Salineas was that he’d come from  _ nothing _ and didn’t believe in handouts. So, maybe he’d just given his daughter the same start?

It’d been an idea she’d had at school, but never raised with the girl, whose irritability matched Catra’s. But looking at her now, in a pressed, teal pant-suit, eyes cold and calculating, she could see the merit in the idea. Mermista had never been…. Spoiled. She’d never assumed luxury. She’d been laid back, laconic… but worked as hard as anyone else at school. 

Which of course made the idiot sitting next to her all the more confusing. She knew the guy, had met him precisely once, on a client site visit. She’d done her research. The guy was a liability, yet had somehow gotten a company running, functionally,  _ and _ had attracted the interest of Salineas Shipping.

This all flitted through Catra’s head as she appraised Mermista right back. She had been expecting a meeting, but had thought it was going to be a call; hence her less than stellar getup - a basic suit and limited hair stylings. But not much she could do  _ now _ .

Seeing Mermista had her rattled; but Catra being rattled didn’t make her a  _ mess _ . It made her sharper. That was a skill she’d learned, living on the knife edge of depression and sanity - self preservation came baked in as the body fought a self sabotaging mind. And Razz had helped ingrain a level of self belief back into her, even if it was just a thin shred. So, she nodded at Mermista.

“Ms Salineas. It’s, yeah… been a while.”

“Has it? Hadn’t kept track,” Mermista’s drawl hadn’t changed, nor had her disinterested expression. The heiress studied her nails and then frowned at Catra, “You the intern?”

Catra’s smile went faintly brittle, but Spinnerella leaned forwards, a faint frown on her face, “Catra is one of our lead consultants. One of the best analysts we have. And she’ll be leading on this today.”

Mermista glanced at Spinnerella and her expression shifted to a slightly warmer set, “Oh, I see. Interesting choice in employees, Spinny…”

The partner looked faintly confused and Catra inhaled, then placed her portfolio down on the table, “Spinerella… Mermista and I went to High School together. I mentioned I had some links to Salineas, but that they weren’t… warm? I can hand my notes to DT, let them take the lead if this will cause a problem?”

Mermista’s face flicked back to Catra and she frowned, confused, “Wait, what?”

Catra blinked, “If my presence causes a conflict of interest, or jeapordises the chance you’ll give the company a fair showing, well… I’ll just step back. I don’t want to cause an issue. Or, y’know… make a mistake.”

She held Mermista’s gaze for a moment. The dark-haired girl narrowed her eyes and then cocked her head, “Huh. Maybe ‘Fuma isn’t completely baked… alright, let’s see what you got.”

The man next to her had been watching in silence, but he leaned forwards, “Um, dearest…”

“UGH! Not  _ here _ Seahawk…”

“Um… Mer _ mistaaaa _ , this is  _ my _ company, I think I should get a say in how we’re handling the meeting….?”

Mermista turned her head and glared at the man. Catra looked between them and something  _ clicked _ . Ah ha. She took the opportunity to connect her laptop to the main screen in the meeting room, then sat down.

“Mr Seahawk raises a point, albeit slightly…. Off. Which is, basically, a  _ theme _ in the company.”

The heiress and the businessman flicked their gazes to her. On the big screen the slide deck came into view and Catra began to present, not allowing the pair a chance to interrupt.

“So, the purpose of this meeting is a follow on to a series of exchanges and a brief on-site review of the various processes at Seahawk Shipping Enterprises and Adventure Services… LLP,” Catra looked at Seahawk who smiled.

“Yes, though quite why good old Triton thinks I need  _ reviewing _ is quite beyond me! He knows my company provides reliable transportation with the chance for  _ adv-” _

“Just… no,” grumbled Mermista. Spinnerella looked faintly overwhelmed whilst DT was keeping a  _ very _ neutral expression on their face. Didn’t stop them shooting a faint raised eyebrow in Catra’s direction. Catra ignored it and kept her face set in a faint smile.

“Yeah, Mr Salineas, as CEO and as part of his board’s required acquisition review process wanted a neutral party to assess the firm… which normally happens  _ before _ a purchase or partnership investment. We were curious as to why buuut… yeah I think I realise,” Mermista blinked as Catra’s gaze flicked to her. The woman froze and blushed faintly, “The nature of the relationship is… complicated, I assume? Some sort of investment to keep the company afloat, despite a number of pretty  _ weird _ operating procedures.”

Mermista didn’t tear her gaze away. She seemed to be seething, or on the verge of crying, Catra wasn’t sure. She exhaled and flicked the deck to the next page. The heiress frowned  _ again _ as Catra rattled off a few of the brief topics they’d go over - process mapping, staffing, recent incidents. Basic consulting company review stuff. Dry as  _ anything _ but the data was Catra’s playground.

The two clients sat, pinned in their seats as Catra detailed the myriad issues of Seahawk’s enterprise: his lack of consistent contracting; the shocking lack of safety protocols in place on the few remaining vessels in Seahawks inventory (Apparently, arson was a common issue… there were some fairly big questions that were going to have to be raised if an audit happened around  _ insurance _ . But that was why Catra’s team were helping - ID the issues so Salineas shipping knew what their lawyers needed to do.

Things got weird when Catra moved onto employee engagement, “...and the lack of an internal structure is also cause for concern. This entire lack of structure seems to have contribute, from our survey, to a 75% turnover of staff - they had no career guarantees, no discrimination protections, no  _ frameworks _ .”

“I am an equalist! I love all people EQUALLY!” protested Seahawk.

“The distinct lack of any LGBTQA representation, or any attempts to balance family or personal goals with what was expected…”

“ADVENTURE! Every day at work is an exciting CHALLENGE! Rules just… get in the way!” Seahawk interjected. Mermista was staring at Catra, her eyebrows almost ready to lift off her face.

“Uhhhh…. LGT… wait, you...wait, what?”

Catra swallowed and smiled at Mermista, “Yeah?”

The teal princess leaned on the table, arms still folded, “You’re protesting about a  _ lack _ of Gay representation.”

“It’s… well, yeah. I am,” Catra met her gaze.

“You.”

Catra inhaled and gave a pleading look to Mermista. Her gaze flickered to Spinnerella for a moment, then back. She wondered if she could think  _ not here _ hard enough to beam it directly into Mermista’s head. The woman’s expression shifted from confused to suddenly cold again and Catra realised the girl had misinterpreted her expression - probably thought she was  _ pretending. _ . The heiress leaned back and sneered.

“Yeah, not buying that. Nice data. But I’m not buying  _ that _ . Not from  _ you _ .”

Catra clenched her fists and inhaled, “Ok… fine. Let’s… let’s  _ air _ something, Ms Salineas. Your dad wants us to look into Mr Seahawk’s stuff because, and I’m just  _ firing randomly here _ he knows you have an interest in the firm… or aspects of it. But, he’s a businessman, he doesn’t care if your playset breaks, but he wants to make sure it’s not going to break his firm  _ either _ . Right now, it IS. Just from the distinct lack of anything like a business plan, structures, functional HR department, payroll, or FIRE EXTINGUISHERS.”

Mermista tilted her head back, while Spinnerella looked worried at Catra’s outburst. DT half stood, “Uh, so, I think it’s my…”

“No, one moment DT. So, yeah, one thing I think you guys could do would be, I don’t know, to put some form of employee structures in place. Reassurances.  _ Representation _ . Because, and I speak from experience… it helps. It helps people who may have worries at home that they know that their work won’t  _ add _ to them. It’s not vital, but it is a nice to have. And it’s a suggestion. One of, as you can see from our summary page,  _ several _ . If you want Seahawk Shipping to be a functional business, one that won’t attract litigation, class action lawsuits and close down from lack of any actual assets… you’d be good to take our list and compare it to whichever consultancy you  _ do _ use.”

Catra inhaled heavily and stood. She was shaking. She recognised it as a panic attack - she hadn’t had one in  _ months _ and she knew she needed to get somewhere more open. She nodded to Spinnerella, then at the others. DT was up, “You uh… need…?”

“No, I uh… I need some air. Apologies.”

Mermista stared at her, her voice faintly confused when she spoke, “Why’d you care? Why? You…”

“Didn’t before?” Catra was trembling visibly now, her voice a crackle, “Yeah… I know. And… yeah not a talk for here, k? Uh.. so, um, thank you, appreciate.. .attention.”

And then she fled from the room.

\------------

The bathroom tiles were cool. This time of the day things were pretty quiet, which gave her some space. She needed a secluded, confined space with a lock on  _ her _ side of the door. It helped her moderate herself, to cut herself away from external threads and voices. Of course, the fact she’d had a sudden episode  _ in public _ didn’t help.  _ At work _ and  _ in front of a client _ felt a lot worse.

She was half expecting a note on her desk, or some sort of pity parade. She didn’t know which’d be worse.

Beyond the stall she heard a door open and close. She sat in silence and waited for the person to do their thing and  _ go _ . She didn’t expect Mermista’s drawl to penetrate the wooden panel of the door.

“You in here Kit-kat?”

They’d had obnoxious insults for each other as a form of friendly endearment at school. It was weird hearing it again now. She considered staying quiet, but she remembered that Mermista had once kicked in a toilet stall at school to get at some girl. She tried to remember  _ why _ \- had the girl been gossiping? Crying? Either way, it’d ended up with Mermista hugging her afterwards and smiles all round. Which Hordak had sneered at, but veered away from getting involved because it was  _ mushy _ . Now she thought back, Hordak hadn’t done much to challenge the big-shots of the school.

Not until the  _ end _ of course. Not until she’d lit the touchpaper to  _ that _ firework. Amazing how invulnerable you could feel with the future in sight. When your brain went into neutral and your mouth just went off on one…

She coughed, “Yeah. What’s up fish face?”

“That doesn’t even, like,  _ work _ on any level. Try harder.”

“So, here to… what? Tell me to fuck off?”

“Ahhhhhhh _there_ you are, wondered how you got through like, twenty slides without swearing. I mean, really, Catra? You? Corporate  _ and _ doing like, advice?”

Catra rested her head against the tiles and sighed, “Yeah, well… we grow up. Leather jacket and a shitty attitude doesn’t pay rent, y’know? I tried… landlords don’t take it as a line of credit.”

There was a snort from the other side of the door, “Wouldn’t know.”

“What, daddy pays?”

There was silence, then a sigh, “He doesn’t. But, y’know, it’s never been a challenge when you start out with a pretty good bank account.. And I’m not an idiot.”

“Explain Seahawk,”

“Low blow, Catra. Like, super low. Not your worst….” Mermista trailed off and Catra swallowed.

“Yeah….” she murmured, “So,I guess that’s what you want to, what… go on about?”

There was a moment of silence, “Honestly? I mean, it happened but… not a major part of my life? I can see that as a reason to not want you involved with my company, or my dad’s… but that’s more, like, professional? But, y’know, you don’t seem like… that Catra, right?”

Her throat felt thick and she turned her head to press her cheek against the tiles. Her eyes slid closed and she drew in a dep breath, trying to centre herself, “Trying to be better.”

“So, Spinny said… uh… said you’re, like, part of the Pride network here? Ally?”

“Nope, full fledged. Got by rainbow membership card and everything, Salineas.”

There was a chuckle from the other side, “You don’t need me to tell you that, like, that is the most ironic and fucked up thing going, right?”

“Well, it makes the rest of it… make sense, y’know? Gay panic equals big fuckin’ bigot. Plus, you met my mom?”

“Ugh I remember, colossal turbo  _ biiiiitch _ . First time she met my dad, she tried to brow beat him into, like, going to church and I think she called him a heathen or some weird shit…”

Catra snorted, “Oh I remember that day… then she saw his picture in the local paper. You guys had just moved into town? Never seen her go so fuckin’  _ pale _ . Karma is a  _ bitch _ .”

“Nah, just your mom. Also, offence, totally meant.”

Catra smiled to herself, “Doesn’t bother me. Haven’t spoken to her in… years I think. Toxic. Better for it, y’know? Trying to be anyway.”

“Assume that’s what the picture was then?” Catra hummed an affirmative, “Weird you didn’t start with… y’know….”

“Hey this wasn’t exactly…. The plan. It’s kinda a new thing. Also, don’t exactly have Adora’s up to date details. Her social media shit is…. Just not there. And the what? I do find here and, what, turn up on her doorstep? Lay it all out and say what?”

“Uh,  _ sorry _ is like a good start, Kit kat?”

“Way to state the freakin’ obvious Seahorse.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you.”

They chuckled and lapsed into silence. After another few minutes Catra stood and unbolted the cubicle. She stepped out and past Mermista to stand in front of the sinks, where she washed her hands and the splashed water on her face.

“So… uh… panic attack?”

Catra looked up and into the mirror, meeting Mermista’s eyes in the reflection, “Yeah… not had one for a while.”

The heiress winced and ran a hand through her hair, “So… like… my bad. We cool?”

Catra blinked and gave a half shrug, “Dunno. Are we?”

Mermista held her gaze, “If you can fix Seahawk’s shit… we’re cool. Honestly, thought Perfuma was smoking her good stuff, or Scorpia had just gone all  _ whipped _ about you again.”

“She was never ….”

“Fuck off, C…. Like, the girl crushed  _ hard _ for you at school. You were too hung up on Adora and Hordak to notice. Probably a good thing though or it’d… have been messier.”

Catra hung her head and gave a curt nod, “Ain’t that the truth. Ok, well… I better go see if I still  _ have _ a job. And… well, make sure that I do some full disclosure, maybe. And then see if I still have a job again…”

Mermista winced, “Like, i thought seeing you get some karma would be good… but not  _ this _ you. Like, I wanted you to be absofucking bitch Catra. Not ‘Got my shit together’ Catra.”

The cat girl chuckled morosely, “Eh, I got mine. And, honestly? Maybe… maybe I haven’t paid yet. Hell, I don’t even  _ know _ what Adora went through. I saw how bad Scorp was hurting when we talked and… yeah. Knowing my luck, Glimmer’ll be waiting outside the office with a  _ wand _ . Or she’ll glitter bomb my apartment. Or just bomb it.”

“Yeah, that girl has zero chill.”

“No change there then.”

“Be fair, you did fuck up her bestie.”

Catra winced.  _ Her bestie _ . Adora had been  _ Catra’s _ best friend. Not that… that…. She inhaled. That was  _ old _ Catra’s thoughts. Desperate, lonely, hurt Catra. She couldn’t be better if she fell into those habits again.

“C’mon, let’s go. Thanks for uh… coming to find me.”

“Told Spinny I would.”

Catra eyed the Salineas girl, “First name terms, huh?”

“She worked for my dad  _ years _ ago. Practically family.”

“Well  _ that’d _ have been good to know when I was bigging up my knowledge of your firm…”

Mermista smirked, “Yeah she mentioned that. She felt you were so  _ keen _ she didn’t want to burst your bubble.”

Catra groaned as they walked out. It’d been maybe twenty minutes since she’d fled the meeting room and they found Spinnerella and DT sat outside in one of the breakout areas; little more than a wraparound couch with a circular table set in its centre. Her colleagues eyed her carefully, but Catra waved their worries away, “Um, I’m… ok. Sorry about that. Uh, Spinnerella? I, um… I think I need to maybe just…”

The older woman smiled and nodded, then glanced at Mermista. The Salineas girl was looking around, faintly alarmed, “Uhhh… where’s Seahawk?”

“Oh we let him go to the canteen, said he wanted to  _ explore…..” _

Mermista froze, “You left him  _ unsupervised _ ?”

“Should I… not have?” frowned Spinnerella. Mermista dragged her hands over her face.

“Just to say, your building burns down, that’s now on  _ you _ . Cafeteria? Downstairs, right?” Spinnerella nodded, then turned to head for the elevators. She paused and turned back, “Oh and Spinny? Catra needs to be on the team for the assessment. She does good work.”

Spinnerella watched the woman go, then turned to Catra and smiled, “You ok, Catra dear?”

DT peered at her as well, “Yeah, Kitten, had us worried. Quite the  _ visceral _ reaction there. Mermista was all confused, got kinda…  _ heated _ . Seahawk calmed her down and _ hoooo _ that man could cool me down  _ any _ day if he did it that way…”

Catra  _ didn’t _ want to know. Spinnerella frowned, “She said she couldn’t… believe you? But then she just went to find you. Very strange.”

With a breath, Catra nodded, “Can we uh…. Talk? I have some things that, considering the client, it may be… good to disclose?”

“Catra, you know personal life and work don’t have to mingle, as long as it…”

“Doesn’t have associations with the company or bring it into disrepute, yeah I know… But, well.. I want to be honest. It’s something Mermista knows about and.. .seems ok with. But, I...well… I’d rather I say it than someone throws it out there and you guys feel blindsided.”

Spinny nodded and led Catra to her office. DT waved theatrically as they walked away, then returned to their laptop. Working or perusing questionable internet content, one could never be sure. 

Spinnerella’s room wasn’t huge, more a larger cubicle with a door that locked, but it had space for a coffee table and a couple of comfy chairs. They settled into these and Catra started, falteringly, to related a more… sanitised version of her High School horror story. Sanitised insofar as she didn’t paint herself as a monster, but likewise she also didn’t shy away from the fact that she’d said some pretty awful things and done so publicly. Spinnerella listened in silence.

“So… yeah. I didn’t handle her confession well and it… it kinda sent me into a spiral. I haven’t seen her in years and, well… before I joined here, I’ve been trying to improve and…. And I  _ know _ you can’t sack me for this, and this isn’t me being defensive or trying to say you can’t  _ do _ anything, because I know how this works and…”

The purple-haired Partner sighed and leaned forward, “Netty might be more blunt about this, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that… life is a learning experience. You did a bad thing, but you were also a  _ kid _ , Catra. When i was twelve, I bullied a boy at school so bad he apparently developed a phobia. And all because I thought that was how you flirted with boys… which I thought I HAD to do.”

Catra stared at the woman, “No way.”

“Yes way. Now, if he came up and accused me of that now, would the company have to answer for it? Maybe, but it wouldn’t likely have a reaching impact. Will your actions? If you  _ held _ those views now, maybe. Probably. Definitely. But you as you are now? Well, if it isn’t on social media and our brand isn’t involved… it seems almost unfair to say it’s a non issue? Because it IS an issue…. For  _ you.” _

Catra blinked and nodded., “I mean… today… that won’t happen again.”

Spinnerella leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, then brushed a strand of her light purple hair behind her ear, “Today was the first time I’ve seen you react like that Catra, so it’s hardly a performance issue. And, seeing you and Mermista just now, I think we can say that the problem  _ seems _ resolved. That said… I think it’d be good for you to attend a few of the upcoming Women in Business seminars we have. Got some external speakers coming in from the Light Hope Training Company.”

“The who now?”

Spinny chuckled, “They do a lot of life coaching stuff and, well, it saves us money not having a learning and development team that’s too sprawling… so, we outsource for certain packages, lectures. Surely you saw the email?”

“Oh, uh… that. Yeah, um… if you think it’s a good idea?”

“I have faith in you Catra; so does Nettie. But i think attending one of these sessions might be good, help you build that awareness in work as well…. Not saying you don’t have it, you clearly are  _ aware _ and growing… but having the training on record can’t hurt. Plus, they’re really good. Especially the group sessions. Share as much or as little as you want, but it’d be a good experience. See that others have made some mistakes of their own and let go of it.”

Catra nodded. She felt a bit chastened, even though she couldn’t really be hed accountable. But then again, all it took was one bad social media picture to ruin a career. What about reports of a homophobic bully? Well, if she was attending diversity training and someone tried that avenue, it’d be easier to deflect.

She hated how  _ cynical _ that sounded as she thought about it. But in her heart she knew she was  _ being better _ . And part of her didn’t want to be punished forever for the single act of a few yers ago. Truth be told, that was between  _ her _ and  _ Adora _ . And, well… at some point she’d ned to put a pin in it.

“Yeah ok… I’ll sign up.”

“Good. Now, you feeling ok? I can let you go home, but we do need to get a plan together for the client approach.”

“Yeah, um.. I’m good. I’ll get something out by the end of the day.”

“Excellent. And if you feel a wobble, let me know. No issues, Deadline is middle of next week before Merista wants anything resembling a plan. Now, i best make sure our clients haven’t set fire to anything.”  
  
“You know they’re totally banging.”

Spinnerella laughed, “Well of course they are, dear. Why else do you think Triton wants it ironclad? He may not give her an easy time, but he does spoil Mermista in… other ways. Making sure her sort of boyfriend has a functional company? I think it’s his version of an early dowry payment.”

Catra blinked, “Mermista. Marrying that idiot?”

“He’s not that bad.”

“He had a polo shirt. Unbuttoned. To the middle of his CHEST. The buttons don’t go down that far! And he was wearing a  _ cravat _ !”

Spinnerella chewed her lip, “Mermista does have blind spots. Amazing business mind….”

“Really  _ weird _ taste in guys.”

“He must do  _ something _ right,” mused Spinny then shrugged with a salacious grin, “Maybe you should ask her. Netty always loves more gossip.”

Catra snorted and felt the tension leave the room, “Uh  _ no _ . I am not canvassing for… this conversation just got super inappropriate.”

Spinny chuckled and nodded, “Good, boundaries. Let’s save it for the bar then. And Catra,” th feline girl paused as she rose to leave, “Thank you for being… honest. That was a risk you took. I know not all managers are as broad minded or even that empathetic. So… I’m actually a bit humbled by your trust.”

Catra blushed faintly, “No biggie… just, uh… just wanting to be a bit more, y’know… honest overall?”

And with that she left the office, a certain lightness to her steps. A contract won and maybe another friendship, if not rekindled, then at least on a starting path to something else.

Of course that still left a few other things on her path to… what? Finding Adora again/ Confronting Glimmer? Being confronted  _ by _ Glimmer? What was the endgame here? What did she want?  
  
_ Blue eyes, staring at her. _

What was she building up to?

_ Quiet words, whispered in confidence. _

Where was this going?

_ If she could do it again, she wouldn’t have run. _

Catra slumped at her laptop and cracked her knuckles. Time to brood later. One episode a day was one too many. She nodded at DT who just gave her a quizzical look,, “We, uh still cool for drinks Kitten? I don’t see a cardboard box, assume you’re still with us?”

“Still here. Gonna kick ass, DT.”

“Hmmm not so fond of  _ kicking _ ass, but I’ll join in the sentiment babe. So, shall we?”

“Let’s nail the plan. Then let’s nail some shots.”

DT clapped their hands and grinned “AMEN SISTER!“

Catra would probably regret it. But right now, she was post panic adrenaline high and post partner chat relief. She felt an evening of cut-lose dancing, a few drinks and light conversation was needed after th rollercoaster. A nice, relaxing evening. Where she wouldn't disappear into her thoughts. She didn't want to jinx it but couldn't stop herself thinking _what could go wrong_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one bites the dust! We're not doing a Scott Pilgrim, I PROMISE.
> 
> We're zeroing in on the reunion, don't worry. Gotta keep building that fear, that TENSION before some WONDROUS RELEASE....


	6. A lifeline in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A showdown, but not what you expect. Cutting lose leads to someone trying to cut in, viciously.
> 
> But some people have a habit of helping.
> 
> \-----
> 
> OK WARNINGI - Things get dark here. But not THAT dark Trigger warning FOR:
> 
> \- Roofies  
> \- Intended sexual assault  
> \- Violence (NOT against a vulnerable individual, btw)  
> \- Alcohol  
> \- Hangovers  
> \- I will update the Warning tags for the fic as a whole
> 
> \- It's not vital - skip this chapter if these things are triggers. The next one will summarise and not gloss over this one, but provide "cliff notes" enough.

It wasn’t  _ the worst _ . It also wasn’t all that much  _ fun _ . Not at first. An hour of queuing to get in, three minutes arguing with the bouncer, a dude who looked like a toad on steroids and then another fifteen minutes queuing at the bar to get alcohol. Catra eyed the packed dance floor and shifted her weight.

Clubs had never quite been her  _ thing _ . Drinking, hell yes. But that was usually done in a dive bar near the Campus. Somewhere with a pool table, so she could shark off of college bros with too much testosterone. No one kept their eye on the ball when her ass was there, a fact she exploited  _ ruthlessly _ . She’d even tried one of the boys out… almost. But that had been the one indicator that  _ nope _ … not her avenue.

Clubs were loud, chaotic and overwhelming. Sometimes that’s what you needed - to just sink into the flow of noise and strobing lights. And, frankly, she  _ thought  _ she needed it. DT had wrangled a good dozen other Associates and they’d all made their way over, having done a few changes to their attire. Catra had a few spare shirts at work (In case a  _ really _ important client came along, or the coffee machine decided to vomit all over her…. That’d been a  _ bad _ day.) so she now had a scarlet shirt to contrast against her black pants and jacket. She looked  _ smart _ but also relaxed. They were mainly girls - a few of the junior guys had tagged along, including their intern, Frosta. She was legal  _ juuuuuust _ about. No one had asked for ID at least. Mainly because the girl could  _ glare _ like no one’s business.

Catra leaned back against the tiny, raised table that they’d secured along one wall. It was essentially little more than a stand where the group had deposited bags and drinks whilst they took advantage of the dance floor. Catra had been left with  _ monitoring _ duty, for now. She smirked mirthlessly as she watched DT gyrate on the dance floor. They were wearing a skirt with shorts visible underneath, a lace-like-top and had their hair flipped into a side-tail. They were also attracting a very mixed crowd. Catra felt a faint spike of envy - the attraction that DT so easily wielded, drawing people to them. It wasn’t that Catra  _ craved _ it exactly; she’d had a similar draw at High School.

She just wished she  _ still _ had it. No, that wasn’t  _ quite _ it - she wished she had it and was… better with it. 

She adjusted herself again and sipped at the vodka in her hand - a White Zoner, all milk and sharp spirits.  _ Again _ what she was envious of wasn’t quite right. She wanted to be attractive, to be desired by  _ one _ very  _ specific _ person.

That was the alcohol knocking on the door, wasn’t it? Just eroding those faint walls. Because, if she ever finally managed it, after the apology, the declaration that she’d been AWFUL…. What then? Clear skies, best friends and pina coladas? 

Because, deep down, Catra felt it wouldn’t be  _ enough _ . Because the reason she’d recoiled so violently back at High School, been so  _ vicious _ , so  _ vocal _ was…

“Heyyyy, friends just leave you hangin’?” The voice was deep, a slow, growling drawl. It  _ sounded _ friendly. But Catra had met enough people in business to know it  _ really _ wasn’t. Her mismatched eyes slid lazily to her side and she quirked an unimpressed smile.

The Crimson Waste wasn’t a  _ dive _ . It wasn’t  _ grubby _ . But it had clearly marketed itself as  _ grungy-enough _ to appeal to a broad subset. Genuine clubbers, the odd emo, some grunge fans and then there was  _ this  _ guy. A jock of the highest order, made into a  _ suit _ . He was tall, cocky and had a swagger when standing still. She bet that, if she shook his hand, he’d  _ squeeze _ . He was a good six foot tall, with a literal mane - one of the Thunderans, probably. They were rare in town, but were an  _ intense _ lot. Her eyes slid over him and he smiled wider.  _ Uh oh, wrong message. Defuse situation _ .

She looked away and took a sip, “No.”

He blinked, “No what?”

She sighed and looked at him, “Not interested, friend.”

He met her gaze and she held her ground. She’d faced down worse, “No need to be rude, just askin’. Trying to be a  _ gentleman _ .”

She quirked a grin, “That’s cool. No damsels here though.”

He squinted and she sighed inwardly. Clearly he thought this was a  _ game _ . That she was playing hard to get, “Naw, just stone cold badasses….” he grinned at her.

She arched an eyebrow. That was new. He’d gone for a compliment. She offered him a faint smile, “Nice. Buuuut so you don’t waste your time…. I don’t swing your way. Not unless you aren’t packing  _ any _ heat down there.”

He blinked, looked down, then back up into her eyes. His grin turned lascivious, “So… I find another girl, this  _ could be _ a thing?”

Aaaaand right back to skeevy. Her smile dropped, “I tried for nice. You’re in my zone,  _ dude _ .”

His grin didn’t waver, “Heyyyyy chill. Just  _ jokin’ _ right? Lighten up, take the stick outta your ass…” he leaned forward, “Unless you like….”

She shoved him back with a hiss, “Fuck. Off.”

A few of her colleagues had noticed and returned, DT in the lead. They cocked a hip and placed a hand on it, “Issues babe?”

Catra kept her cold gaze on the towering cat-man, “Naw… this  _ gentleman _ was just gonna go to the bar and rethink his options.”

She watched the big cat’s eyes track to DT, saw the expression shift into a sneer. Then with just of his chin, the cat-man turned and pushed through the crowd. DT watched them go, “Careful, kitten. That one looks like his pride just got  _ kicked _ .”

“Eh, what’s he gonna do? Bouncers  _ everywhere _ , I’ve got you guys, ain’t going home alone… let him try. I’ll rip his tail off and feed it to him…

“Woooooaaaa where’d that come from?” DT stood in front of her and frowned, “You are the opposite of  _ chill _ girlfriend.”

She huffed and ran her hand through her hair, “...Yeah. Can we dance?”

DT grinned, “Oh hell yes. Let’s give these amateurs a  _ show _ .”

Catra downed her drink and grinned, then followed DT to the floor. Around them was a mass of people, faces indistinct in the flash of lights. The beat changed and Catra closed her eyes. Her mind wandered to better days, older days, just dancing in her bedroom, or on the bleachers in the late afternoon, stereo on blast and the  _ gang _ relaxing around them. Scorpia providing the impromptu drums on the wood, Hordak’s foot tapping away, Adora flinging her hair around with no concern for  _ rhythm _ while Catra  _ swayed _ .

The thump of bass hit her, the whine of electronic whistles and the synthetic, high voice of the lyrics gripped her. It wasn’t her normal preferred music, but she could work with it. Hands over her head, she gyrated and moved. Her eyes flickered open and she grinned at DT in front of her. They kept their distance  _ mostly _ . They moved in and out, complimenting her moves with their own, only closing in sensually now and then. It was enough. A dance. It meant nothing. But still, it was like a gulp of water to a person dying of thirst… then realising it wasn’t enough.

She’d had a few drinks and, when in the past, she’d have gone with the  _ flow _ and leaned in when DT pushed close again, she resisted and grinned, then spun back, flicking and rolling her hips mockingly. She felt someone try to grope at her but she slide easily away, her tail flicking at the wrist of the creep in a reprimand.

She twirled and nearly stumbled as she  _ swore _ she saw a flash of purple hair and glitter for a split second. Eyes from a past glaring daggers through a gap in dancers. Then it was gone. She blinked and recovered, not even missing a step. Then DT was there. They swayed and laughed, then grinned as more of their colleagues joined them in a drunken attempt at a group dance. Catra blink, her momentary shock forgotten. They spent another few minutes just dancing to the beat, then withdrew back to their table.

Frosta frowned at her and DT, “Are you two a  _ thing _ ?”

Typical Frosta - blunt as a hammer. Catra snorted, “Nah. We’re good friends, ‘s all.”

DT mock-fainted, pressing a hand against their forehead as they draped in front of Catra, “How can you deny our  _ love _ Kitten, when it is so obvious even to a mere  _ child _ .”

The smaller girl bristled and huffed, “I am NOT a KID! And, that was pretty… intense out there.”

Catra grinned at her, “ _ Kid _ if that was intense, you are gonna have a  _ lot _ more shocks coming your way in life. Like… a  _ lot _ .”

She looked around the table and huffed - no more alcohol. She was buzzed, but not enough. Then one of the team appeared with a tray of more - mostly shots it seemed. Probably a bad idea.

_ Fuck it. It’s been a GOOD week. PROGRESS. Live a bit, you’ve earned it. KARMA! _

The next couple of hours were a blur - dancing, drinks and cheering. The music thrummed and Catra felt nearly lost in the blur of neon and strobe. She felt exhilarated. Even Frosta was into it, bobbing away as Catra dragged her to the floor. She was a  _ bit enthusiastic _ and caught Catra in the face with a flailing hand, but the older girl laughed it off and just ruffled the intern’s hair.

After another round of dancing.she stumbled to the bar. She was  _ fine _ . A few shots in, but she could  _ handle _ it. Always had. Drunk bigger men under the table. Shots may have been a tad too much, but she’d leave after the next round and it’d be  _ fine _ .

She was clocked by someone shoving past her and caught a familiar face - Purple hair, brown eyes and a  _ fuck tonne _ of glitter stared back at her with a strange expression. Catra blinked, her brain not quite processing who she was looking at, before they vanished into the crowd, pulled by unseen hands. She blinked but couldn’t pinpoint  _ Glimmer _ again.

Far too much to drink, she was  _ imagining _ her supposed nemesis now. With a huff, she shoved her way to the bar and flagged a barman. He nodded then went back to serving the guy next to her. She waited then smiled as he moved to her. She rattled out an order for the table and slid a credit card over the bar.

“Hey, uh…. Um. Can I apologise?” She inhaled and turned her gaze to the voice - it was the big cat guy again. He smiled, his expression a bit embarrassed. He swayed faintly, “Uh… my buddies said I was a  _ douche _ and… uh… saw you were here. Still. So uh… can I buy you a drink, no hard feelings? Then I leave you to it?”

She wanted to just tell him to fuck off, to get him away. But she had a load of drinks to carry and an argument at the bar wouldn’t solve things. She sighed and offered a tight smile, “Sure, White Thaymor.”

He nodded and gestured to the barman, who had just finished her order. The drink was slid across the bar and the big guy suddenly extended his hand, “Grizzlor. Sorry, uh.. Just thought I owed y’that much,” She looked at the hand then bit the bullet and shook it. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t  _ escalate _ . Even if it wasn’t really escalating. He held her gaze and grinned, a slight hint of something in his eyes. He nodded and let go, didn’t even squeeze, “Been a pleasure. Wish it could’ve been mor,e but… I was an ass.”

She kept her brittle smile on her face as he downed his drink and stepped away from the bar. Still trying it, somehow. She gathered her drinks and regarded the one he’d bought. With a shrug, she placed it on the tray and carried the whole thing back to the table. Her colleagues welcome her back with a cheer and, as one then clink glasses on the table and sink the drinks. Catra sputters and grins, then whoops as Frosta drags her to the dance floor.

\---

_ Fuck she needed this _ .  _ Worth the queue. _

\---

She swayed with the beat again, but stumbled a bit. Clearly more of a lightweight than she used to be. She sighed and adjusted, then frowned. Was Double Trouble at a different table? Blond hair over  _ there _ … but near pink…

\---

She blinked and found herself back at the group’s table having some sort of conversation about why slide decks  _ sucked _ and why clients just  _ blew chunks _ . And how the world would be…

\---

Back on the dance floor, bouncing energetically. She giggled as she knocked into someone and slurred an apology. DT was flirting with someone nearby. As usual.  _ No one _ flirted with Catra.

_ They know you’re a biiiiiisssssshhhh deeeeep down. Bish. _ She giggled at her own self loathing.

\---

Tripping, nearly at her table. Hands gripped her, “Heeeeeyyyyy, Badass, you don’t look so good,” she looked up into a smiling cat face. It was a nice smile… except it  _ really _ wasn’t. She groped for her bag but the strong hands guide her away through the crowd, “You look a bit done in. ‘S ok… I got you. Let’s just get you out of here, m’kay?”

She swallowed and tried to focus. Anxiety slammed its fists against the heavy  _ heavy  _ walls of dulling alcohol. She felt her vision swimming, fought to regain.

“Everything ok?” blond hair. Her breath exhaled in relief - DT was there, in front of them. But their voice was  _ wrong _ . Too much to drink or the music was… off.

The cat man... Grizzlear? Grizzildor? Gruzzkill? Paused, “Oh, uh, yeah, girlfriend just had  _ way _ too much. Trying to get her home safe.”

Catra frowned. Not right. Not anyone’s girlfriend. She batted at the hands, “N….no.”

“Honey you’re making a scene, don’t do that,” the hands squeezed. She whimpered and her tail lashed suddenly. But she felt woozy.

“Yeah I don’t  _ think _ so,” the voice sounds  _ wrong _ yet it’s clearly DT. Who else would step up? Als, was DT taller now?

Another voice, “We sure? I mean… look at… and...”

DT ignored them, “I said, let. Her. Go.”

The big cat growled, “Non’yer business what we do. She’s in a bad way, need to get her…”

“Then _we_ can get her to the bathroom, help her.”

Grizzlor seemed to be getting angry. His grip loosened slightly, “She’s  _ my _ girlfriend and…”

Catra hissed, “FUCK OFF! NOT YOUR GIRL. Cos… cos you aren’t a  _ fucking _ girl!” The whole group went silent, strange, distant shapes in her blurred vision, “Like, you’re a  _ dude _ . I don’t… fuck…  _ no _ . NO. Never. Not… not  _ her _ . No. Gotta… gotta say sorry.” She sagged in his grip and a sudden sob wrenched itself from her chest, “No… she… gotta say  _ SORRY _ . For  _ EVERYTHING.” _

“Now look, just get out of the fucking way, cos…”

There’s a sudden blur of movement and a  _ crack _ . Catra stumbled, the pressure on her arms gone. She hears a yowl, high pitched and frightened and realised it was from  _ Grizzle-dugginton _ on the floor. He had his hand clutched to his face and seemed to have the other one clutching his  _ groin _ . Other shapes move from the crowd, yells sound around her and a group set upon DT…. who moves stupid-fast. More crunches and Catra is suddenly engulfed by a braying crowd. Her vision, she can feel tunnelling down. Then hands push past, separate the group and grasp at her. DT hauls her away, another voice muttering disapproval nearby. Frosta? But it’s older, familiar. She looks up.

When did DT have blue eyes?

Then a group is in front of her. DT is there. But, DT is holding her, right? DT stares past them, “The  _ fuuuuck _ you doing with…”

Catra’s vision swam again and her eyes droop, but she caught, “...out of here, now, we’ve go-”

\------------

She blinked. Streetlights stream past a window and she inhaled with sudden fear. She felt pressure on either side of her and she flailed only to have a hand grip hers. With a jerk, she turned her head to the side only to see DT’s concerned face inches from hers.

“Easy Kitten, we got you. Nearly home.”

“Shit that… was  _ intense,”  _ Frosta, “I’ve never seen a dude go down so  _ fast _ .”

“I have….” muttered DT half heartedly.

“And then his buddies just… WOW, bam bam bam,  _ freakin’ SERVED _ . You think she’s gonna get arrested?”

“Doubt it. Any sense, tall muscular and  _ dreamy _ just bailed like we did…. Hey, you with us ki-”

Her vision went dark again.

\-----

It came back as she hunched over a toilet bowl. Great timing. Hands held her hair back and she whimpered, managing to get out a churned, “The fuck happened?”

“Tomorrow, sweetie… tomorrow.”

She felt her eyes flutter again. Then darkness.

\----

No dreams this time. But there were blue eyes. Staring at her not with hurt. Not with pain. But with  _ concern _ .

Maybe that had been the look all along.

\----

Catra came awake with a pained groan, followed by a whimper. Hear head  _ pounded _ . She tried to recall the previous evening - had she drunk  _ that _ much? It was… spotty. Dancing. Drinking. Then  _ something _ ?

With a groan she swung her feet from the bed and staggered upright, only to stumble forwards. She flailed wildly, which only succeeded in dragging things off her bedside table on top of herself with a crash. She winced and tried to push herself up, but her muscles wobbled, like she’d run a marathon. Her rational brain managed to supply more context and she shivered with fear as her hands groped over her body.

_ Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK no no no no. _

She heard the door open and her gaze flashed up, only to see DT stood there in one of her shirts and their skirt/short combo of the night previously, “KITTEN! My goodness you are a walking disaster….”

“The… the fuck.. I can’t… my body is just… and… what  _ happened _ .”

“Long story short - Dude you blew off tried to do some shady  _ as fuck _ shit. But… seems you have a guardian angel, my girl.”

“What? Oh, yeah… uh thanks.”

DT cocked their head, “My pleasure. Got you cleaned up and well… made sure you upchucked all that nasty business. Hangover is still going to be a  _ doozy _ so I’m doing coffee and  _ waffles _ . Nice place by the way. Different circumstances I’d say I should’ve been round here a  _ lot _ sooner and in better circumstances.”

They helped Catra to her feet and then guided her from the bedroom to the living area. A few other figures were draped over furniture - some of the previous night’s crew. Catra frowned, “Why are they here?”

The green-skinned blond pursed their lips, “Honey… after that, no one wanted to leave you alone. We had to hold back some of the girls from kicking the guys when they were down… luckily the crowd decided to get in on them.”

She blinked as another memory flashed from the jumble, “Where’d you learn to do that?”

DT stared at her, “What? The dancing? Oh honey, you know I took…”

“No, like… three, four guys at once?”

Her friend cocked their head, “I  _ can _ do that buuuut I don’t think you mean it that way. How much  _ do _ you remember.”

Catra winced and sat at her breakfast bar. DT pushed a huge mug of coffee over to her, whilst around the apartment people roused themselves. Frosta groaned from a sofa nearby. The rest seemed to be in equal amounts of pain and trying to stave it off with more sleep.

“Honestly, it’s… it gets really weird after the tray I brought back. I… fuck, douchebag must;ve had a buddy slip something in there while he white-knighted. Fucking  _ asshole _ ,” her teeth clenched and her fists balled up. DT reached over the bar and grasped her shoulder.

“Breathe, babe. Breathe. We’ll, like… go to the police and…”

“And  _ what _ ? They do  _ fuck all _ . Nothing happened, nothing to test. Maybe from the club, but for, what? One guy who I can barely describe? And MAYBE some camera footage?”

DT winced, “Yeah, I know… sucks.”

Catra suppressed a sob and exhaled with a shudder, “So… how’d you… stop him?”

That got an arched eyebrow from her blond, reptilian friend. They grinned, “Moi? C’est  _ pas moi,  _ Kitten. As I said, guardian angel. She did  _ not _ take kindly. Probably a feminist,” they studied their nails for a moment and then grinned again, “She dragged you through that crowd like you were a sack of laundry and just threw you at me, told me to get you out… then she just charged right back in. I heard  _ screams _ , Kitten. The GOOD kind. So, police may not help, but i think those idiots got theirs.”

Catra blinked. For some reason she had a sense of  _ blue _ in her mind, “I… just remember blond hair. Must;ve just been you.”

“PLATINUM, Bitch… eh, maybe. But that girl,  _ hoooo _ that girl could’ve broken my shins  _ any  _ day. Except I have never seen someone so… like she was about to teach people a new meaning of  _ pain _ . Hence the feminist comment, y’know. In case you didn’t get it?”

Catra rolled her eyes and regretted the motion  _ immediately.. _ She heard Frosta snort behind her and glanced back. The young girl was staring at her old High School group photo. Well, one of them - an informal group shot of the  _ gang _ . The girl was staring at it. Catra felt suddenly uncomfortable.

“Hey, what you staring at  _ intern _ ?”

The girl turned and gave her a look that said  _ you have no power over me now _ … in a sort of  _ nice _ way?

“You have a  _ type _ Catra.”

“Huh?”

I mean… DT, the girl in the picture… that girl from last  _ night _ . What, do you just attract blonds with attitude?”

Her blood ran  _ cold _ . She stared at Frosta, whose bravado seemed to drain away under Catra’s scrutiny. The cat girl licked her lips tentatively. She inhaled…. She exhaled. Her smile, when it reached her lips, sent a shiver through the young intern.

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not what you expected, I know.
> 
> We aren't ready for the big one yet.... and when i tried to have it work here, it DIDN'T. It felt premature and forced and not SATISFYING to read.
> 
> Honestly, this may not work for everyone.. But I think it's important to get at least a.... feeling for who the BLOND WHO IS CLEARLY A NEW CHARACTER ;) .... what she's like. What she feels. Maybe you can guess....?


	7. Catharsis and Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra works through the previous night and unpacks her motives for the future. 
> 
> DT is a consummate guest and all round Cool Person.
> 
> Scorpia and Perfuma are HELPFUL.... and, well dropping hints like the Dambusters.
> 
> Razz is... talking about Pie.
> 
> Catra gets PROACTIVE (Even more so)
> 
> (If you want good feels, we're going for them here. Acknowledgement of positive vibes and comforting!)

She wasn’t sure if she was underwater or if she just had her head stuck inside an old TV, but really, all she could hear was static as she stared across the room at Frosta. Her brain, already in a fairly fragile state from the alcohol and  _ that other shit _ was not handling it well. She clutched at her mug as her mind tried to find the missing memories to fill in several gaping blanks.

Frosta’s expression had turned from smug to confused to troubled in a split second and Catra could sense DT next to her. She kept her breathing level and blinked a few times, sorting through the various bits of information. Then, very deliberately she placed her coffee down on the counter and stood. “Ok… so… uh… I’m gonna go back to bed. Can… Can you tell Spinny I won’t… yeah…”

She heard DT calling after her and, in the corner of her eye, saw Frosta do a double take at the old school photograph. She could see the intern’s mouth form an O, but she pushed it from her mind.

Instead she just bee-lined to her bedroom and sat on the bed, hands clutched in front of her. She  _ wasn’t _ spiralling - it wasn’t that. This wasn’t anxiety or fear, just basic shock.

_ Adora had been there _ .

She’d been in the same building and Catra hadn’t spotted her? Had she? Did she just not remember? Had she done something? Had she  _ said _ something?

An image of purple hair floated up as she strained. She  _ had _ seen Glimmer after all! She remembered that, at least. And the girl had looked… strange. Catra hadn’t quite parsed the expression in her memory. It was… no, she couldn’t place it. Resentment? Sort of. But also curiosity? Irritation?

Complicated. It was complicated. The alcohol wasn’t really helping and she twisted where she sat. She felt Melog coil himself between her legs and smiled faintly, then looked up as green fingers curled around the door frame.

“Heeeyyyy Kitten. Just had a  _ word _ with our girl Frosta. You doing ok?”

Catra looked up and tried for a smile, but it wobbled, “Uh…..”

“That’d be a hard  _ no _ then. Ok, I’m getting these hangers on outta here and then you and me… we’re gonna sit down, chill and, if you want, juuuust let it out. Or I can drink more of your wine and try the numbers I got last night out.”

That got an involuntary snort from Catra, “How? I swear you spent most of it with  _ me _ .”

“Babe, multitasking… I was keeping an eye, but I… I slipped up. And, wellllll that’s…” DT shuffled their feet and looked irritated, “That’s on  _ me _ .”   
  
Catra blinked, “You apologising?”

“Sort of. Because, babe, that shit last night was  _ nasty. _ Now, you’re in a  _ place _ right now… so, gonna take it slow. First off, you need more water. Then, we gotta decide what  _ you _ want to do next.”

She frowned at the and squinted at DT, “About...what?”

“You know… do we go to the Po Po?”

“Never use that name again,”

“Heyyy I’m being  _ relevant _ . But, uh… your call.”

Catra slumped back on the bed and sneered, “Like that’ll do any good. I can’t remember any faces, other than the fact the main dude had a mane and was… nasty as all  _ fuuuuck _ .”

“Hmm, well, there was a full on  _ brawl _ as we left, so uhhhh maybe more witnesses?”

Catra waved from her prone position, “Just… let me think about it. So much going on right now.”

“Oh and we are  _ definitely _ talking about  _ that _ .”

“We are  _ not _ . Nothing to talk about.”

“Hmmm, I can tell when you lie, Kitten. Your lips move.”

Catra snorted again and heard DT retreat from the door. For a moment she just let the silence was over her, aside from the sound of disgruntled movement from the living room. Her eyes fluttered and she dozed for a moment, roused when her colleagues crowded around the door to wish her well. She looked at the faces, all concern and genuine worry and, for the first time in  _ years _ she didn’t feel any anger. No irritation at her vulnerability.

She just felt  _ warm _ . So she managed a smile and a thumbs up. Frosta spoke for the group, “You need anything. Us to talk to police, to back you, whatever. Just say. Those  _ assholes _ need  _ breaking _ . In the  _ face!” _

That made Catra smile wider, “Thanks.. Uh… we’ll see. See if the cops even think it’s, uh… worthwhile” she shrugged and waved, then listened as the group filed their way out.

Beside her, on the table, her phone buzzed. Catra sighed and fished it from its charging dock and unlocked it. She blinked at the message and then opened the app.

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ HEY! SO! How you doing?!?!?!?! _

That wasn’t suspicious at all.

**_Catra:_ ** _ Fine. Y? _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ OHHH JUST CHECKING IN COS THERE WASA THIN G ATA CLUB LST NITE AND WELL IT GOT ROWDY AND OOO _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Uh huh. _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ AND THOUGHT B GOOD TO JUS CHECK ALLS OK> IN CASE> YNOW. _

Catra squinted at the phone. Scorpia  _ knew _ . Somehow she  _ knew _ . Well, didn’t take a genius - the friends obviously  _ gossiped _ . Thought Catra was some sort of easy… she inhaled and squeezed her phone and pushed  _ that _ train of thought away. That was old, angry, frightened Catra. Thinking the worst of people.

Because Scorpia wasn’t being  _ mean _ . She was checking up. She was  _ reaching out. _ And… wasn’t that what Catra wanted?

Yeah it wasn’t the person she  _ wanted _ to reach out, but… that was a nettle patch she didn’t want to stick her hand in yet. Even the thought of….

_ Blond hair, blues eyes, lunging forwards. A fist connecting. The high pitched squeal of distinctly male pain. Shouting. More noises. Hands holding her firmly, heavy,, intense breaths above her as she was hauled away. Blue eyes. Blue eyes that looked so frightened. _

_ Not of her though. _

_ For her. _

Her breath hitched.

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ SO YR ALL OK AND ALL IS FINE AND HAHAHA CAN STP WORRYING. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ No. _

**_Scorpia:_ ** _ NO? _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Not great. Bad bad night.  _

Her phone buzzed suddenly and she dropped it right on her face. With a grunt of pain she lifted it up and saw a facetime request from Scorpia. It felt both reassuring and  _ not _ at the same time. Like, it was a  _ lot _ . She eyed the call then inhaled and pressed  _ Accept _ .

Scorpia’s face filled the screen as she peered through the camera, as if trying to reach through the ether,  _ “Oh goodness you uh… you look…” _

“Hungover, yeah, well spotted,” Catra winced, “Why call?”

“ _ Uhhhh because, we’re… friends, right? And well, I just…. And…um. Well I wanted to make sure you were ok and, what better way than to make sure it’s YOU on the other end _ .”

That was a fairly well articulated response. Catra managed a weak smile, “Uh… thanks, I guess. Assume…Spar…..  _ Glimmer _ told you?” It wasn’t a huge leap and Scorpia’s sudden twist in her mouth confirmed it for Catra, “Bet she  _ loved _ seeing that…” she grumbled as a follow on.

The camera moved and Perfuma’s face appeared, further away from the screen. She smiled at Catra and her eyes did a quick trace over her face, then she nodded, “ _ Tomato and pear smoothing, followed by some toast and you’ll feel right as rain.” _

Catra blinked, “Uhhh what?”

_ “Hangover cure. You look a bit disheveled _ ,” Catra saw Perfuma glance to one side, away from Scorpia, as if at something, then looked back at the screen,  _ “I um… take it you got home ok? Your friend got you home. Blink once for yes and twice for now, then I can geo-search your...” _

She couldn’t help but grin, “I’m fine, Perfuma. Yeah, uh… after… after the whole… well, don’t remember  _ too _ much,” she found it was a nice blend of truth and lie, but she doubted Perfuma’d be fooled. She was  _ perceptive. _ “But DT got me back. Rest of my team too…. “

Perfuma studied her then beamed. She glanced to the side again and Catra saw her eye twitch. She seemed to be aiming the stink eye at  _ someone _ . But Scorpia was right next to her. Catra inhaled then glanced up as DT leaned round the doorframe.

“Hey, Kitten, more coffee? Or you feeling a bloody mary to help clear the head?”

“Coffee. Yes. And, uh… water. Lots of water.”

“Sure thing babe. Who you talkin’ to? Police? Need me to give a character statement? I can make them think you’re a saint...”

“No uh… some… friends. Just checking in,” she glanced at the phone then back at DT, “Go… make coffee, goof.”

She smiled faintly as DT retreated again then looked back at the screen. Perfuma was trying to do subtle glares off camera. Scorpia had her head tilted. The white haired woman exhaled,  _ “So, sounds like, um… all ok? What’s uh… what’re you thinking? Police? Big ol’ social media storm?” _

Perfuma gave her girlfriend a fond pat, “ _ You might not want to Catra… but what’re your thoughts?” _

Catra curled up. Again this was a  _ lot _ , “Dunno. One minute i’m… having drinks, then this? Just want it to go away. And, realistically… what’s going to happen? If they catch the guys then what? It’s… it’s just a mess,” she draped an arm over her face and sighed. Her brain clicked and she felt her stomach flutter faintly. Slowly, she drew her arm back, “So… uh… is Adora ok?”

The pair froze and blinked almost at the same time, then shared a glance. Perfuma smiled and nodded, “ _ You, um… well, yes. Yes she’s  _ fine _ , _ ” the girl glanced off camera  _ again _ . Catra felt a bit groggy - was Sparkles there? Watching? Checking in? Her head hurt a fair amount and thinking was  _ hard _ .

Scorpia interjected, “ _ Seems she um… may have gotten a bit… involved in that little… tiff. And, well… she’s fine. Absolutely fine.” _

Catra sat up, “Is she in hospital?” her voice was tight, her breathing suddenly ragged, “Where? I… I can… um… if… if I… maybe I should... “

Perfuma’s smile downright  _ twinkled _ , “ _ No, she’s definitely  _ not  _ in a _ hospital  _ right now. She did, apparently, send four gentlemen to one, though. So, even if you don’t raise it with the police… Adora has spoken to them  _ extensively _ already.” _

Catra froze, “She’s in  _ JAIL? _ I can post bail, just… let me get…”

Scorpia snorted,  _ “She’s not in jail, Wildc….Catra.” _ she caught the sudden shift from her old nickname - it stung but… they were still on baby steps, “ _ Just… gave a statement. And, well… I think the club backed her up.” _

The blond at the other end of the video call nodded, “ _ New place in town does NOT want to get a reputation for… illicit date-drugs, now, does it. So, um… if you do decide to report…. We have a case number, Adora handed it to us after she finished her statement.” _

Catra sagged, “She’s Ok then? No… no damage? I mean I… I don’t want her getting hurt because I was… stupid and… because….” her voice crackled slightly, “And… I didn’t even... “ she covered her face and the phone sagged.

_ “Catra you still there? Catra?”  _ Scorpia’s voice was tinny as Catra composed herself. She brought the camera back up and managed a watery smile.

“Hey Scorp. Yeah… just a bit… y’know? I don’t want to be the cause of her getting into shit. Trouble. Or… hurt. I don’t,” the lump was back again, “I  _ can’t _ do that again. I  _ can’t _ .”

DT chose that moment to re-enter the room with a tray of coffee, three glasses of water and a stack of nearly-burnt toast. They frowned at Catra then placed the tray down on the bed and loomed into shot on the camera, “You queens aren’t harassing my girl? No slut shaming going on here, hmmmmmm?”

The two women on the other end blinked and exchanged glances, “ _ Um… nice to meet you,”  _ offered Perfuma cautiously. Scorpia had a relatively neutral expression on her face. Catra rolled her eyes.

“Guys, this is DT…. Double Trouble. They’re my…”

“BESTIEEEE! Also, occasional shining armour wearing hero and all around  _ winner _ . Babe, you look busy here, you ok?”

“All good. Uh, you sticking around?”

“Yass. Not going  _ anywhere _ unless you kick me out... for a while. I’ll even rearrange my schedule….” Catra rolled her eyes again and sighed, then shot the confused pair on the screen an embarrassed glance. DT grinned and looked at them, “I tend to keep myself  _ very _ occupied on weekends. One man show, I am  _ not _ . Babe, we’ll Runeflix when you’re done. Just shout, k, Kitten?”

And with that, they flounced away. Catra sighed and fell back on the bed again. Scorpia blinked, “ _ Hoo. they are… pretty intense. Amazingly so. You’ve got… taste, Catra.” _

She smiled faintly and shook her head, “DT’s… yeah they are a handful. Good friend though. And, well… I look tame when I stand next to ‘em,” she gave a half shoulder shrug and sighed, “Uh… thanks for checking in guys. And um... “

She searched around in her head, not quite sure what she wanted to say. She swallowed and looked back at the screen. Perfuma tilted her head and Scorpia had her claws in front of her mouth for some reason, eyes wide. Catra blinked and Perfuma seemed to notice Scorpia’s expression. She nudged her girlfriend with a wry smile, “ _ Hey, it’s ok. Glad you’re OK. If you want us to come over, or just meet for a coffee….?” _

Catra nodded quickly, “Yeah that… that’d be, um… cool. Maybe, um… tomorrow?”

The two nodded and Scorpia smiled, “ _ Just take it easy um...Wildcat. Ooo, maybe we do need to retire that one…” _

Catra sniffled and managed another faint smile, “Maybe just…. On occasion. If you want. I’ll uh… try to make it less  _ dramatic _ . And um, uh, like… can you uh… can you,” she squeezed her eyes shut, “ThankAdoraformeplease. Um… I… still don’t know what to, y’know…  _ do _ about that. It….”

Perfuma seemed to be twitching again. Almost glaring off camera. Scorpia nudged her again and shrugged at Catra, “ _ Well, I’m sure it’ll pan out. Like us. Baby steps.” _

Catra wanted to say more but her throat was tight. She nodded quickly and smiled, “Thanks guys. Just… let her know I…. I….” The pair nodded and shared another glance, “Yeah. Heh, she must think I’m even  _ more _ of a colossal fuck up…”

“ _ Well, maybe she’ll tell you you’re  _ not _. When she  _ finally _ talks to you. Which you need to do, Catra. Just… don’t be afraid to try.” _

Catra laugh and wiped her eyes, “Like Scorp said. Baby steps, Perfuma. Ok, I’m… I’m gonna go and try to just… y’know? Thanks for checking, so so much. I’ll uh… text you about the weekend?”

_ “Sure thing Wildcat. Just keep it cool, ok? Call if you need anything, ANYTHING.” _

“We said about... giving you guys space though Scorp. I know you don’t do space but… I need to earn that level of….”

_ “No. There are exceptions. And, as I have explained and Perfuma has reinforced, I am my own woman. Scorpia can DO THIS! I have AGENCY. I am NOT just the muscle, I am a MIND. So, as a MIND, let me tell you to call if you get antsy, ok? No buts, no excuses. CALL us.” _

The sheer intensity of Scorpia's words made Catra shut up. She nodded mutely and managed a croaked goodbye. Perfuma fiddled with the phone and it tilted. A moment before the screen vanished Catra thought she caught a flash of  _ something _ \- a white shirt? Was there someone else there? She blinked and felt her body’s sudden fatigue.

Probably just laundry. She was  _ hyped _ clearly, seeing things everywhere. Drugs did that, just made you so  _ hyper _ aware. She’d just been so zoned out, her brain was overcompensating.

She finished the coffee, then the various cups of water DT had brought through, then the toast, before she finally staggered to the sofa in the living room, where she curled up into a ball. DT had put on some garish fashion show of some description and began loudly critiquing the decision making, parentage and all-around  _ suitability  _ of the various contestants who were vamping it up all over the place. Catra smiled as she let the noise wash over her and drifted off.

The fact it was a Friday and she  _ should  _ have been at work didn’t worry her. It was an… odd sort of calm. Her phone buzzed again and she saw a message from....

**_Netossa: Catra_ ** _. Stay in bed, sleep it off and send me the MF-ers names. And then the police report if those assholes don’t do anything. Let me know how the weekend goes and call Monday, k? _

Her lip wobbled again and she sighed. DT glanced down and gave her a wry grin, “Dunno who to be more scared of, Netossa or your  _ Valkyrie _ of an ex….”

Catra sat up, “She… She is… uhhh…”

“Whaaaat? No one looks at someone like  _ she _ did without some serious therapy involved. Or unresolved  _ iiiiiiiissues _ . Also, breaking a guy’s knee? Either she had some angst to get out or she was  _ piiiiiissed _ .”

Catra blinked, “What now?”

“Oh I only caught that bit. Legs don’t bend that way, honey. Well, most legs. I can get mine behind my head but I’ve had  _ practice _ . So, spill….”

Catra made a huffing noise and slumped back, “Not the time, DT.”

“What? I made you toast. That took  _ effort _ . Also, you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and more likely to be honest… when am I going to get the  _ chance _ . Because, wicked as I am, I draw the line at roofying you to get you to talk. Assholes.” Catra smiled at the venom in her friend’s voice, a sense of strange comfort from it. She closed her eyes and shuddered.

“Guess I get to go over it  _ again _ . Just like Therapy… awww  _ hell _ Got therapy later… uggggh.”

“How about we record this and you just play it later? She can just review it!” DT clapped their hands and Catra shoved them in the ribs, “OWWWW Bitch,  _ sensitive _ there.”

“Yeah, nope. I know what you do on some weekends.  _ NEVER _ looking in your phone again. EVER. Needed a whole bucket of bleach.”

“OOOO judgy. Just cos you’re more vanilla than ice cream on a bean farm….”

“The fuck does that even MEAN! I’m… I’ve got…”

“You can say  _ kinks _ y’know. Or maybe you can’t?”

Catra scowled, “You want to hear this or  _ not _ ?”

Her green-skinned friend grinned, then swivelled on the couch, arm draped over the back. The TV show went on mute and they tilted their head to one side, “ _ Continue _ .”

Catra huddled up and her tail coiled around her ankles. She took a deep breath and began. She relayed the  _ day _ . The worst day of her life - not for what she felt on the day itself, but for what it  _ did _ .

DT stared at her as she first gave the  _ cliff notes _ . Then she swallowed and described it in detail. How Adora had approached her. Had taken her to one side. How she’d confessed her fears, her  _ self _ . Had looked at Catra with hope - hope she’d be accepted, understood. That her inner turmoil was  _ seen _ .

And how she’d, in return, laughed. Shoved Adora, said  _ funny joke _ .

But the girl had pushed on. And Catra had thought  _ Take the fucking easy way out, Adora. _

But the girl hadn’t. She’d  _ owned _ it. And Catra, Adora’s closest, oldest, dearest friend…. Had just sneered, shocked, spat it back at her. Her own fear had made her recoil. They’d argue, screamed at each other. Catra had stormed off to the bleachers. Adora had followed, pleading. Not asking for anything just wanting to know  _ why _ ...

And then  _ Hordak _ had been there, had heard the commotion and… it spiralled. Adora had run. Catra had gone the other way. Hordak had followed Catra, asking questions, probing. And then, in the hall, Catra, in her panic, her fury, her sudden sense of weird  _ betrayal _ had shouted it out…

A wildfire only took one match.

She described it all, told how things had gone up, how she’d been riding it for a day or so…. And then that high, that righteous fury had gone with her anger… which she now knew had been  _ fear _ . Fear her mother had drilled into her. Fear of her own…. Sense of self and feeling.

DT watched her, face blank as Catra hugged her knees and finished the story. To be fair, it wasn’t all that long. She didn’t touch much on University, or the time in between. Other than her turning point. She shrugged at the end and her jaw twitched as her ears went flat against her head, “So, yeah. I was a bigot. Just needed a truck and a twelve gauge and a big ol’ stereotype waiting to happen  _ right here _ .”

DT arched an eyebrow, “So, you were a fucking  _ asshole _ until someone gave you your own ass on a platter?”

Catra looked up and tensed, “Yeah, I got mine. Sorry I wasn’t self aware enough to spot the fucking idiocy when I was a kid.... I wasn't.... great at empathy.”

“You blaming them?” DT was staring at her, cold, “Or yourself? Now I mean?”

She sagged and huddled smaller, “...myself.”

DT pursed their lips, “Well, you were an asshole…. But you’re an asshole who learned, so points for that.  _ And  _ you’re not trying for BS ally points despite  _ having been _ an asshole. So, yeah…. Road to recovery. And I say that, know we can hold a fucking  _ grudge _ . Still, pretty nasty….”

Catra winced, “I  _ know _ .”

“Outing her… oooooo. Babe, you know, that’s just…. Taking someone’s control….”

“I KNOW!”

“And then you go on to, what, just… live your life?”

Catra gritted her teeth, “I. Know.”

DT laughed and Catra glared. Her colleague sighed and shrugged, “Messed up, but…. Karma hasn’t been kind. People hurt  _ you _ . Didn’t  _ believe  _ in you… didn’t really  _ trust _ you….” they reached out and grasped her hand, “So, yeah… you were an asshole. But…. a kid. And… fuck if you aren’t owning your shit now, Kitten.”

Catra felt like she wanted to shrink further, “I… I got what I deserved…”

DT’s grip tightened and she looked up into those yellow eyes. They were fierce, “Catra, I’m a stone cold bitch, I know this. It’s my whole  _ thing _ . And I am going to judge you to hell and back, because again… my  _ thing _ . But I will judge you on what you do now, alright? That you was some messed up kid who was brainwashed. And then they fucking  _ tortured you _ ? Nope, honey, not cool. If I’m gonna hate anyone, it’s the  _ assholes _ who made you like that.”

“Please stop saying asshole,” Catra sniffled and DT pulled her into a hug.

“No. I won’t. But… you are  _ not _ an asshole now. And the big question is…..” DT dragged her back in, letting her settle against their shoulder, “Are you gonna  _ tap _ that blond girl? Because...hoooo.”

Catra laughed and let out a sob at the same time. The tension left the air and she settled down, her eyes fluttering closed. DT ruffled her hair and flicked the mute off on the TV, then began their monologue on _who wears that combo with THOSE heels_ again. She drifted off.

\-----

Catra woke up on the couch with a blanket over her and the smell of cooking evident in the apartment. She struggled upright and squinted out the window, noting that it was clearly mid-afternoon. Her gaze moved over to the kitchenette and she saw DT frying some things in a pan. They served up some bacon and eggs, then carried it over to the couch, “Eat up. I gotta head out, afraid.”

  
Catra smirked, “One of those numbers work out?”

“Ugh, insufferable Cat… yes buuuut that’s not why. I have to swing by the office and get some files, gotta work the weekend baby. And not just  _ that _ way. Anyway, call me if you need anything. I can work here if you need me to,”

Catra waved them off, “‘S ok. I’m not made of  _ china _ , dork.”

“Ah,  _ sassy _ . You’re fine.” DT threw their purse over one shoulder, gave Catra a wink, then practically waltzed out of her apartment. She heard the door click and exhaled. The plate of steaming food sat in front of her and her stomach growled in a rather needy way.

After demolishing the slightly-burnt food, she busied herself around the apartment. Tidying, clearing, washing. It was as she was on her knees, scrubbing at the tiles in her shower she realised she was breathing  _ heavily.  _ She sat back on her heels and blinked rapidly, trying to get her breathing down. She groped at her pockets and fished her phone out and, shaking, managed to dial Razz.

“ _ Catra dearie… our appointment isn’t for another hour. I haven’t finished the pie!” _

She held the phone with both hands, pressed against her head, “Sorry Razz, I uh. I know. But, well, something… I am.. I’m..”

There was a brief moment of silence, “ _ Remember, Catra, memories do not control you. We see all things in our mind. All possibilities. But we learn to see only the way through. I can tell your mind is all over, loud.” _

“Is… now ok? I mean, I just need someone and I don’t think I can.”

_ “Is it me you need to talk to? I know, it’s what I’m here for.” _

Catra chuckled, a slightly more intense sound than she’d intended, “I uh…. Saw Adora.”

_ “OH! How is she! Did it go well?” _

“She knocked out four guys and saved me from being…. Um…. it was bad. Pretty bad. And I… didn’t talk to her.”

_ “Well… it doesn’t sound  _ ideal _ but then again life is not. Like a pie, it has to have time. Too soon and it comes out wrong, too long and it is charred. But learning the timing takes TIME as well. It’s not all razzle dazzle, you know.” _

Catra couldn’t help but smile as she leaned back, knees to chest, “Not sure a pie metaphor helps here, Razz.”

_ “Pff. Pie is always helpful. It helped  _ you _. So. The fact she didn’t hit  _ you _ is probably a good sign.” _

She closed her eyes and took a breath, “So, uh, can I… talk to you?”

“ _ We’ll just change the time. I would say come over, but I think this is… urgent.” _

So Catra relayed the events of the week so far, more in detail - her reconciliation with Scorpia, the surprise meeting and overcoming of differences with Mermista and then… the previous night. Razz was silent. Then spoke

_ “You definitely need pie.” _

Catra couldn’t help it. She cracked and burst out laughing. Her chest heaved as she drew in breaths, her cackle echoing through the apartment. Slowly, she slid to one side, her laugh turning to giggles as she lay in the shower, tears running down her face, an exhausted grin on her face. Her phone lay next to her and she could hear Razz’s tinny voice,  _ “All ok dearie?” _

She wiped the tears away and answered, “Yeah…. Yeah I’m good. That was… I did not know I needed to just  _ laugh _ .”

“ _ Stress manifests in many ways. It needs a release. And You have not let go Catra, not in the proper way. We spoke about this, your constant forward motion. This new path, it is challenging but… it offers you a new avenue. Where do you think this need is coming from?”  
_ _   
_ She sighed and her eyes slid shut.  _ Blue eyes. Pain. Fear. Loss. Sadness. _

_ Rejection _

“I… want to do a good thing.”  
  
_ “Why?” _

They'd had conversations like this before, reinforcing Catra's baseline, her motives, her sense of self. It didn't hurt to retreat when her foundation got shaky. Catra played with a strand of her hair and considered the question, honestly.

“Why not? I mean… I thought it would make the pain go away if I helped but… that’s the wrong motive. I’m doing it for Hordak, for Scorpia… for…”

“ _ Adora?” _

Catra nodded, then smiled, “Yeah.”

_ “Maybe she’s over it. Been a while. Why hang your hope on this? What do you want?” _

There was no accusation, just curiosity. The words leading her through her own thoughts. She gave different answers each time it came up, usually depending on her mood: " _Then it's fine. I visit another city. We can be friends..." etc etc_

“Really? I… I don’t  _ want _ to say it out loud. I want her to  _ know _ .”

“ _ Know what _ ?”

“That I  _ know _ I did something wrong. That I’m… being better. That,” she squeezed her eyes tighter, “That she didn’t lose  _ me _ . That I  lost  _ her _ . And… even if we can’t be friends, that she hates me, that she will know I’ve  _ learned _ and… maybe she can move on too, if she hasn’t already. And I just want to  _ know _ she’s ok….”

“ _T_ _ hat’s good dearie. Like a pie, you need to know what you want the outcome to be. Like any recipe, we need to understand our end state. Where we go. That’s the real magic - understanding what we want and where it will lead. What growth comes from it. You’ve come such a long way from that lost girl, angry at the world but trying to be nice. Now… you are  _ acting _ in a better way.” _

Catra shuddered, “And I guess… I just have to deal with it if she hates me.”

_ “I doubt she does. She may have complicated feelings. But the fact she helped you?” _

“That’s just  _ Adora _ . She ran across a street, through traffic, because an old man was about to fall into a manhole. He shouted at her for shoving him. And then she did it  _ again _ when he walked out into the road… she just... _ helps _ people. Always has… so, I’m no different. Just… maybe she sees me as….”

_ “You said she got you out of there… and went back IN again.” _

“Well…. Yeah, like I said.”   


“ _ Surely once you were out, that was it, she could go too? She went. Back. In. That speaks to something else. I think… closure is needed here. No matter how painful. Even a letter, or anything. This is a two way crossing, Catra. Adora may have been someone who you harmed. But…. and this is the complicated piece… she also put  _ you _ in on this path. Without this, who would you have been?” _

Catra had an image of her in a white suit, working at their local Church, attending meetings, running the little, local events. Smiling and nodding. Hair neatly groomed whilst her mother’s hand was on her shoulder. She had a vision of going to the  _ camp _ … not as a guest, but as one of the  _ staff _ . Smiling and holding someone down, dunking them into the water, singing the hymns and thinking  _ this was all right _ .

She shuddered, “So, what, Adora’s a hero?”

It sounded bitter, sullen and she bit her lip. Razz chuckled, “ _ No. Adora was selfish, a little. She needed to talk, to say SOMETHING. And that’s a burden to put on a young mind, even a friend, in such an environment. But you were both CHILDREN. What were you supposed to do with that? In that town? With those people? At that time? Yes, she needed a friend… but, it set you both on your paths. She wanted you to be the one she could trust… and that is selfish, because of the burden, the expectations it puts on another. But it is not BAD. We are all selfish - we have to be, to stay sane.” _

Catra couldn’t really accept that line of thought, “Sharing a deep part of herself isn’t…. Selfish.”

“ _ The expectations around it are. Why did she tell you? What did she want out of it?” _

“Respect…. Recognition….”

_ “So the burden is put on you. Now, that’s not to say she SHOULDN’T share. Not at all. We have to HAVE to be true to ourselves. Madness is the alternative. Hatred. Darkness and lies that live inside us. But how we present that to the world, that can be selfish. And it is selfish but not BAD to desire to be seen. It’s about OURSELVES. Changing ourselves to fit others is SELFLESS. But it is also hollow and can leave us devoid of anything. Like a pie without berries. Also.... catching you at school, in public, putting you on the spot? The girl needs a lesson in timing, perhaps. I have said this before, Dearie.” _

It still felt a little off, but she could just about grasp Razz’s thoughts here, “But… it’s… she was showing me  _ her _ .”

“ _ Yes. Great. Lovely. Magic potions for everyone and pies forever.” _

”Hey! It was IMPORTANT to her! She… she opened herself up! She put herself out there! She took a RISK! That took guts and bravery and was the  _ right _ thing to do.”

_ “Hmmm…. So you think the right thing to do is be brave, take a risk and put yourself out there, regardless of the outcome?” _

Catra was breathing heavily again. She was irritated, annoyed at Razz’s strange flippancy. Then her brain caught up to her temper and she stopped her jaw, “Uhhhh”.

_ “It’s a simple question, Catra.” _

She closed her mouth and swallowed, “I.. guess….”

_ “No guessing. You’ve been doing it already. Which is a GOOD thing. But I can hear it in how you are framing all this - it’s for others, letting them heal. But cutting yourself open won’t help, not really. Has anyone enjoyed seeing you suffer so far? NO. And don't argue, I can tell. So, continue to be BRAVE. But also be  _ SELFISH,  _ a little bit. See where putting yourself out there some more takes you. Think about it.” _

Catra sat in silence as the words sunk in. She felt drained all over again. Most of her sessions with Razz left her tired, but warm. This one left her gut-punched. She managed to walk through a few more things, Razz helping her down from her agitated perch. After she finished, she manage to make her way back to her bedroom where an indignant Melog yowled at her for attention and food SHe detoured and fed the purring horror, then slumped back to her bedroom where she collapsed back onto the bed and, without preamble, passed out.

It had been a  _ day and a half _ .

\-------------

The weekend just  _ flew _ by. It was a whirlwind of activity. First coffee with Scorpia and Perfuma that was a complete overload of attention and fussing, followed by her getting practically  _ threatened  _ as Scorpia demanded she submit at least a basic  _ statement _ to the police. Which was how she ended up being interviewed in her apartment by a very stern but friendly officer named  _ Juliet _ .

That had gone well, although it had been a  _ tad _ awkward when she started asking about the fight. The questions had shifted to her version of events and she’d had to stammer out she didn’t see much, just that a girl had saved her.  _ Did she know the girl? How would she describe her? Had she arrived with the girl? Did she leave with her? _

She’d gone with mostly honesty - Yes, sort of; Blond (VALKYRIE), blue eyes (SO BLUE), tall (BUILT LIKE A TREE); No and no.

She’d contacted DT who’d volunteered their own version as well - they’d arrived at her apartment halfway through the statement and had had theirs taken by another officer. Catra could hear the tale even through the walls - DT having decided the bedroom was a good place to be “interviewed”, along with a query of  _ “Do you get to cuff me while I talk? NO? Shame…” _

At the end Juliet had asked if she wanted to press charges and Catra had shrugged, “Any chance it’ll stick? Do I need a lawyer?”

The office had scratched at her half-shaved head and leaned back on her chair, whilst Catra remained perched on the couch. “No. You’re a witness, not just a victim. We got the suspects and… we may need you to check some pictures and conduct a follow on statement. You  _ may  _ get called to testify but the prosecutors can provide court anonymity. And we’ve got a fair amount of evidence. Your friend…. Adora? Yeah she’s not under arrest or being charged. Brightmoon law has some fairly clear cut views on intervention and right of force. They might bring a private suit but I  _ doubt _ they’d try.”

Catra had frowned at that, “Why’s that?”

“They’d run outta traction before she did, I imagine. That girl comes across as  _ determined _ . Doubt they’d want to risk it, buuuut we get some idiots in the system. Don’t quote me, of course. The judiciary works to its own drum.”

After the officers had left, Catra had seen DT had obtained  _ another _ number and just rolled her eyes, “I just freakin’  _ hope _ you didn’t do a trial run on my BED!”

“Please. Wouldn’t even strip search me. But I see potential. Anyway, gotta dash babe,  _ CIAO!” _

All too soon Monday had rolled around and she’d ended up back in work. Spinnerella had practically collared her at the door and was on the verge of sending her home when Catra had stopped her, “So, you want me to sit  _ by myself _ in my apartment to, what, stew? I need to be  _ busy _ Spinnerella. And we’ve got to meet Seahawk on  _ Wednesday _ . My job, ok? or you want DT to be in a room alone with the guy for the meeting?”

Her boss had frowned at that but _clearly_ seen the point. She'd relaxed and Catra had managed to make a start on her  _ actual _ work. She’d lost the weekend, so just blitzed it.

It wasn’t until the afternoon, with the majority of her tasks behind here and an initial review and questionnaire pack put together that she summed up the courage for her  _ big _ challenge.

She opened her EtheriaGram account and scrolled through Scorpia's various photographs. And there were a  _ lot _ . Mostly her and Perfuma. Several with Mermista and a  _ very _ enthusiastic Seahawk. A good third had Glimmer and Bow, their goofy grins always obvious. Adora appeared in… one or two pictures. Catra swallowed when she saw them.

Adora had grown. She looked older, more focused. She still had the sculpted physique - well toned but not  _ bulky _ . Just so well filled out in her shoulders and arms.

But Catra saw how she held herself in the photographs - a set to her jaw, a slight tightness in the eyes. The smile always small and shy.

Had she done that? Or was Adora just…. Not a party girl?

She moved back to one of the larger group shots and found what she was after. Adora wasn’t tagged in  _ any _ pictures, as per her complete absence from any form of social media, at least in a meaningful sense. Even her professional accounts were rare or locked down. Which seemed counter-intuitive.

She found the name she wanted, scrolled to the Follow button and clicked it. Then she set the phone down. It’d probably take a few days. If they let her follow them. She’d talk to Scorpia if it didn’t happen, maybe persuade them to-

_ DINK _

She blinked and looked at her phone, then unlocked it.

**_Follow request for ArcherBoi85 has been accepted”_ **

_ DINK _

**_ArcherBoi85 has sent you a message!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, a bit of soft and some reassurance for Catra who has been a bit BATTERED.
> 
> This chapter is showing her working through her thoughts - she had a PLAN but her motivations were a bit... self flagellating. Now she's realising that, maybe, she can do this without having to absolutely gut herself each time. 
> 
> Growth, expectations and why what we do as kids isn't always INTENTIONALLY awful... if we make amends.


	8. Firestorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tense reunion. 
> 
> Opinions are shared. Honesty emerges and motives are questioned.
> 
> Will it be Thou Shalt No Pass or Speak, Friend, and Enter?
> 
> Catra finds her clarity of purpose and admits a truth to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair note - this is a heavy chapter. It repeats a little, but I've tried to keep the dialogue natural. back and forth.
> 
> We're nearly there, I think. Or at least.only a few more Chapters. I need to work a couple of MINOR things out ;)
> 
> As ever, tell me what you think! Does it work? Was it what you expected? LEAVE A COMMENT!

_ This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. _

_ Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. _

_ Badbadbadbad. _

She was walking down the main  _ tourist _ drag of Brightmoon. It was all gorgeous cafes, bars and charming shops. Wide spaces, boulevardes and  _ trees _ . To a girl from the rural sticks it was really  _ weird _ . It felt like a theme park. She was used to sun-bleached stalls, old thrift stores and a dollar store. Even after all her years here it still felt like she was walking along some sort of TV set.

Her mind was amplifying the  _ weirdness _ of it all. It’d been half a week since the  _ exchange _ with Bow.

Yes. Bow. She still couldn’t parse the courage she’d mustered to send that request - it was like she’d  _ still _ been drunk; that she’d possessed some liquid courage and  _ done _ a proactive thing.

Of course, she’d emailed Hordak immediately once she’d gotten home and received a video call shortly afterwards. His frowning, white face had fixed her with his penetrating stare. And he’d just asked a simple question:

_ “What are you afraid of?” _

And that had been the crux of it, hadn’t it? The  _ fear _ . Was she scared of  _ their _ feelings about her? The feelings she was amplifying? Or was it fear of not being enough? Because Bow’s message had cut right to her core. Had sliced her clean in half. Had almost been  _ cruel: _

She paused mid stride, outside a nice shop that sold knick-knacks and tourist baubles, and fished out her phone. She scrolled the EtheriaGram and stared at the exchange:

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ CATRA! OMG! Are you ok? _

She smirked - it’d hit her.  _ Just _ like that she’d nearly had a breakdown at FUCKING WORK. She’d been so sure, so full of plans. She’d  _ meet _ Bow. She’d  _ lay down _ how she felt. Adora would  _ meet _ her. There’d be high fives. Hugs. Perhaps a respectful nod and a promise to keep in touch.

And she could go on with her life, accept Adora was ok, didn’t need her and she’d done the  _ bare fucking minimum _ because honestly? Seeing the girl in a screenshot from her memories did bad things to her confidence.

But that message, so full of Bow’s old concern, his usual  _ empathy _ brought a tonne of memories slamming back into her like the 8:15 Express from the Fright Zone.

For all her carefully educated and constructed self confidence and worth, that simple, little action had swept her emotional legs. She  _ still...still _ wasn’t used to it. DT and her colleagues, yes. They knew the  _ new _ her, the her that made time, didn’t scream, wasn’t  _ mean _ as a way of pushing people back.

Bow had  _ seen _ her. Had been  _ there _ . Had been what she couldn’t be. And then, faced with that wall of empathy that rivalled Scorpia, what could you do?

So she’d slunk off to the bathroom and replied, taking her heart in her hands:

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ No. _

The response had been immediate.

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ Where are you? Hospital? I can get there in 10. _

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ Why _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ …. _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ …. _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ …. _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ becoz reasons _

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ srsly? No, im fine on THAT. Not… other ways. Y u say you’d be there? _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ Feeling like this is a trick question _

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ BOW. It’s ME. U guys h8 me. I’m a fucking trainwreck.  _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ Are yoU? _

She’d stared at that, her phone clutched in her hands as she stared at the screen. Then another response had popped through.

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ Catra. We weren’t close. BUT… ok this is tricky to navigate. _

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ Y? Glimmer there telling u to block me? _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ WOWOWOWO ASDFGHJKL!!! _

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _????? _

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ You didn’t call her SPARKLES. She is legit silent. _

Catra’d stared at the phone.  _ So she was there _ . Then another message.

**_ArcherBoi85:_ ** _ Thursday. The Whispering Cafe. 1330. Deal? _

Ok, that HADN’T been Bow. She’d been locked in place. And she’d managed and:

**_KittyLitter:_ ** _ ok. _

She’d stumbled from the toilets and made it through the day. She’d even managed to compile a relatively decent projection plan  _ and _ strategic map for Seahawk. The week had  _ rattled _ past until it hit her with the client presentation, where she’d found herself in a harbourside office, in a conference room adorned with  _ nets _ and an-honest-to-Hope  _ anchor _ .

And she had NAILED it. Seahawk had been there, leaning on the table, chin in hands, eyes glistening as she smashed his company  _ to pieces _ … then built it back up with ideas, advice and, most importantly,  _ facts _ . And she’d put him in the middle, made him feel like  _ the hero _ . Because what sort of consultant was she if she wasn’t a  _ hero _ .

Cherry on top? Ending the presentation with:  _ Seahawk Shipping LLP - the next Adventure _ .

Mermista, who’d been in the room, had given her an exaggerated mime of applause, whilst Seahawk had just made a high pitched noise. She’d walked out on cloud nine. Client:  _ in the bag _ . Friendship: MENDING. Future:  _ promising. _

And then Thursday had hit. She’d booked time off. She’d readied herself.

And now she stood next to a damn  _ chintz store _ panicking about meeting what her brain was telling her were the  _ guardians  _ of a potential future.  Which was jumping the gun. No. Not jumping the gun. It was  _ vaulting _ the gun. It was finding the gun in a separate time zone and taking a  _ run up _ .

She slipped her phone back into her pocket - she’d gone for legging and a leather jacket. Reminiscent of her old school getup, which was  _ partially _ intentional: She wanted to trigger  _ something _ . Wanted to get a reaction.

Maybe she wanted them to see her as she saw herself? Or maybe she just wanted to piss Glim... _ SPARKLES _ … off.

Catra rounded the corner, hands shoved into jacket pockets and practically glared at the coffee shop in front of her.

_ What are you afraid of? _

This was her reaction to fear: rage. Her jaw so tight she couldn’t speak. She  _ hated _ being vulnerable because it brought back  _ that _ moment - in the pool, as they forcefully baptised her, made her recant… or they tried to.

And the  _ only _ thing that had gotten her through that? She HAD recanted. Recanted  _ everything _ she’d done to hurt Adora. Promised to  _ try _ harder, to be  _ kinder _ . Under that water, dunked, with n neon-green light shading everything in a caustic glow; with piped organ music playing, she’d had  _ one _ thought.

_ AdoraAdoraAdora. _

_ I’m Sorry. _

If she could tackle a psychotic millionaire’s idea of community, she could tackle Bow. She could tackle Glim... _ SPARKLES _ .

_ Why are you afraid? _

A hand waved at her and she saw a face. Older. But the  _ same _ . A face she’d seen in the cafeteria; scoffed at. Teased. But who had always rebuffed her with something approaching  _ fondness _ . She hunched her shoulders and stalked to the table.

To her surprise, Bow stood and planted his hands on his hips. He was wearing a  _ crop top  _ and. his skin had a healthy look: that of someone who spent hours in the sun; the already dark skin tanned to a deeper shade. He eyed her and arched an eyebrow.

“Catra.”

“...Bow.”

He blinked and actually  _ grinned _ , “What? No nickname?”

She met his eyes and saw no malice there; no  _ ugliness _ in the lines of his face. Just honest amusement and a bit of worry. Worry about what she’d do? Or… it was too much. She swallowed, “Not my, uh, forte.”

“Huh. Like I’d believe  _ that _ . You still a black coffee girl?”

“Uh…. jasmine tea. If… if that’s ok?”

He did a double take and arched an eyebrow, then nodded, “Coming right up.”

She settled into a chair at the table he’d snagged and folded her hands tightly on the wooden surface. Her mismatched eyes traced the grain, the stains, the idle graffiti. She flinched as a cup clinked against the wood and she looked up into a concerned face. Bow didn’t let her speak first.

“So, Adora told us what was up,” the sheer  _ bluntness _ made her blink, “And, well… I’m glad you reached out Catra,” he blew out a breath, “It’s weird, isn’t it? Not just me?”

Catra stared at him and tried to marshall her thoughts.  _ For fuck’s sake - I LITERALLLY YESTERDAY secured a client who was two planks short of a full deck and did it without stuttering. Why now? _

She managed a shaky breath, “Uh… yeah. Weird. So so so weird,” she looked him in the eye and her words became a lump. But she forced past it, “So, um… what’re you up to?”

Bow leaned back and shrugged, “Working for an engineering firm. Renewable energy. Some charity work here and there, y’know? Drop in to help Glim out on her non-profit stuff. And….uh… Adora with her… things. When she, um… needs it.”

He wasn’t evasive, more… cautious. He watched her, carefully. She, for her part, looked around the cafe.

“Glimmer not joining us?” she asked in an offhand way. Bow cocked his head and gave her a level stare.

“Oh she’ll be along. But… and don’t,  _ please _ don’t take this the wrong way… I wanted to see how you were.”

Catra leaned back and smirked, “See if I’m a bitch still, right?”

Bow shrugged, “I’d rather get through my week without having to pay damages to my fav’ coffee shop. Or bail my fiancee out, y’know, One or the other.”

That brought a smirk to Catra’s lips. But it froze and she blinked, “The  _ hell _ ? You finally nutted up?”

Bow screwed his face up, “I see you’re still oh so good with  _ words _ , C.”

“No, seriously, you and Glimmer are… WOW!” she blinked and leaned forwards with a grin, “AMAZING!”

The man blinked, “Seriously?”

She nodded, “HELL yes. Dude, seriously, it was  _ sickening _ dealing with you two at school. Like the worst Rom Com going, just  _ do it _ already,” she swallowed and shrugged, her gaze drifting away, “I’m.. . actually kinda happy for you,” Bow was staring at her. She shifted uncomfortably and sipped at her tea, “What?”

“Wow… you are different…” he spoke gently, then held a hand up, “Sounds like I’m treating you like some sort of  _ exhibit _ . Sorry. It’s been a while.”

“Duh, I  _ know _ ,” she had no venom in her words, but she felt distant. Bow managed a half smile. They were dancing around the point. Catra wondered whether she should raise it. Bow adjusted himself, his white crop top riding up his arms for a moment as he leaned forward, “So, uh… the club. You sure you’re ok?”

And just like that she felt small again. Her gaze dropped to the table and she swallowed thickly, “Fuck Bow… I… I could’ve…” His hand was on hers as she clutched the cup in front of her. Her gaze tracked up and she managed a choked “Why?”

He frowned, “Why what? Why’d they go for you? Why’d they…”

“Why’d  _ she _ help?” he reared back, expression neutral. Her words had been heavy, almost venomous. She looked back at the table and suddenly the dam against all her negativity rippled and cracked, “WHY? I’m  _ nothing _ . I’m a  _ monster,”  _ she looked out into the street, eyes glazed and she tried to get control of her suddenly roiling emotions, “She  _ hates me. So WHY?  _ I‘m not… worth her nearly going to  _ fucking jail.” _

Bow stared at her, then let a slow breath escape. Catra stared down at her drink, silently  _ hating _ herself for this sudden slip.

“Honestly Catra… this is  _ Adora _ . First off, you think she’d let anyone in that situation be put at risk?”

Catra sighed and gave a faint shrug, eyes glued to the table top. The sentiment wasn’t  _ great _ though - Adora WOULD have done that for anyone. So, maybe she wasn’t  _ special _ . She was just… like everyone else in Adora’s eyes. Another face in the crowd. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t heard from her, hadn’t seen her. She flexed her fingers and blew out a shuddering breath, “Perfuma said she… she didn’t get in trouble. Was she lying?”

Bow snorted, “Perfuma doesn’t  _ lie _ . She might omit things, but trust me, if Adora was in trouble then she’d have told you. And trust me when I say  _ Adora is fine _ . Frankly, I think she needed it,” he made a face and Catra frowned.

“Go on,”

“Ugh… well, she’s been… stressed. Honestly, it gave her a heck of an outlet. NOT one I approve of. Violence. But it was in service of a good cause. And, well... it's been a rough time, we've all been so busy.”

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “Just… first time I see her since..” she winced and looked away, “Since I…. first time and she just sees me as a  _ wreck _ . Great first impression. Drunk Catra, continuing the fuck-up theme. Why’d she step in? For all she knew  _ I WAS _ going home with some douchebag.”

Bow gave her a look, “You have a  _ really _ low opinion of her, don’t you?”

The look she turned on him was  _ acidic _ , “What.”

“You think Adora is some alpha blonde in a high school in how she looks at the world? I know it’s been a few  _ years _ Catra.... but still,”

“What am I supposed to think? She’d have  _ every _ right to hate me. SHE SHOULD!” Her voice rose and she took a breath. Some of the costumes glanced their way, curious, but returned to their drinks. Catra simmered down and gave a helpless shrug, “Not like she knows  _ me _ . And not saying she  _ should _ ! Just… prior knowledge of what I was means her view must be… pretty crap.”

“Uh huh. Sure you’re not thinking about  _ you _ ?”

She managed a smirk, “When did you become a therapist?”

“A year ago,” Bow responded with a shrug, “Part of the charity work I do.”

Catra stared at him, “Oh fuck off, seriously? UGH! Why did I agree to this?” she groaned and put her face into her hands. Bow chuckled.

“I don’t know Catra. Why  _ did _ you?”

“Ok, psych-speak to get me to spill my guts is a low blow.”

“Genuine question, though. I mean, I get meeting up with Scorpia. Mending fences. Is that what this is?” he leaned forwards and traced a finger around the rim of his cup, “Honestly, though… what’s the end game here? Genuinely? Because last time we saw you it wasn’t ehhhh…. Great?”

She leaned back in her chair and cringed, her shoulders tense and arms hugging her torso, “That, Bow… is putting it mildly. I… it’s been a whole  _ thing _ , ok? I’ve gone over my life story so much the past week it  _ hurts _ . I’m trying, y'know? Had a life that sucked, did a shitty thing, a really shitty thing and I’m trying to make amends,“ she shrugged, “Yeah, it’s kinda selfish, because it is to try to make me get over guilt, but I WANT others to….  _ Know _ . That I regret stuff. That I was wrong.”

Bow held his cup in both hands, elbows on the table and sipped, “Ok.”

Catra frowned at him, “OK?”

He shrugged, “OK. So, um, you want to do what here?”

She made a confused noise, a mix between a sigh and a grunt, “I don’t  _ know _ ! I haven’t seen  _ her _ in years. I can’t  _ find _ her. I want to… well, I want to fix it, but I think it’s too far for that,” she went quiet at the end and looked down at the table. When she continued, it was in a faint whisper, “I just want to say I’m sorry. And…. to know she’s done ok? And let’s be real here, you guys are  _ the gatekeepers _ . You’re… the people  _ I should have been _ .”

She felt a presence then, a figure next to her chair. Then a pair of hands slapped onto the table and she looked up into a pair of brown eyes framed by coiffed purple hair. The look was one of irritation mixed conflicted empathy. Mostly irritation.

“ _ Dammit _ Catra. Why can’t you be the absolute  _ asshole _ I remember?”

\------

The last image she’d had of Glimmer was of her screaming in her face outside of High School. Her normal approach of sneering disinterest had failed when she realised that Scorpia hadn’t been there. That Hordak was gone.

That Adora was nowhere in sight.

Surrounded by students  _ and _ faculty, the diminutive, purple haired ball of energy had  _ laid _ into her.

It’d been a combo strike she hadn’t expected: no  _ spurious _ accusations, no insults, just a cavalcade of  _ hurt _ . Glimmer had been angry, so so angry. But it wasn’t born of hate, but of  _ grief _ .

_ Why Catra? Why’d you do THAT? Why? She covered for you, helped you, supported you. And this…. This is your  _ win _? To be remembered as the Class Bitch? For ruinign the one person in this shit hole who TRIED? _

It’d moved into more of a lecture. But Catra had… had brought it on herself, after all: She’d grabbed Glimmer outside school, on their  _ last _ day. After graduation. Had screamed at her. Her energy  _ also _ fuelled by guilt and rage and  _ loss -  _ which she expressed as toxic resentment and mocking, sneering invective.

Except Glimmer hadn’t done what she normally did, which was to normally roll her eyes and respond with a snarky deflection - the hallmark of their veiled, barely contained mutual jealousy and mistrust, masked under smiles and eye twitches.

Oh No.

Not after Catra had done what she did.

Glimmer’d ripped  _ into _ Catra. A fury so pure, so  _ righteous _ that Catra had just stood there and taken it, absolutely stunned. Glimmer had never  _ really  _ fought back before, never tried to. Adora had always been there as a mediator. 

And when Glimmer had finished, had shouted her last, devastating rebuke, Catra had taken a swing at her.

It hadn’t gone like she’d expected. For one ended up face down on the grass, with her arm held in a lock-grip above her by a glowering Glimmer.

For another, the whole school was laughing at her.

She’d only managed to get up because of the voice that had sliced across the School quad - the voice of  _ Angella _ . Glimmer’s mother:  _ Let her go. _

Glimmer had, with a dismissive glare and a strut that had a few of the school applauding.

It was hard to reconcile that image of righteous rage with the professional  _ woman _ in front of her now. She sat close to Bow and fixed Catra with a gaze that, whilst not friendly, wasn’t entirely  _ hostile _ either. She wasn’t staring daggers, but maybe eyeballing baseball bats. She was wearing a violet skirt, with a matching off the shoulder blouse. And she was  _ rocking _ it. No longer the short, sweater wearing nerd, this was a woman with an attitude and  _ presence _ .

Catra, for her part, tried to match it. Though she couldn’t sum up much in the way of animosity.Just high-strung tension, which probably meant she just looked partway between a sneer, a sneeze and a twitch.

Bow looked between the two and sighed, “Are you going to talk, or do I need to get a deck of cards here to pass the time?”

She couldn’t help it: Catra smirked, a fang peeking out for the barest moment. Glimmer relaxed faintly and rolled her eyes, “Way to ruin the mood.”

“What mood?” scoffed Bow, “The mood where you two die of dehydration due to staring contest? NOPE. I’m gonna get top ups.  _ Play nice _ .”

Catra watched him go, then looked at Glimmer. She managed a brief, uncertain smile, hen glanced down at the ring on Glimmer’s finger,, “Um… congratulations?”

Glimmer looked at the counter at her fiance and smiled, “Thanks,” she turned to regard Catra, her gaze tense and with the potential for danger, “So.”

Catra adjusted herself in her chair and folded her arms, “So.”

Glimmer leaned back, “Yeah this isn’t going to  _ work _ , is it?”

“What?” Catra suddenly felt petulant, “A big, dramatic showdown?”

“A showdown? SERIOUSLY, Catra? How’d that go for us? Because I have  _ no idea _ what you want. I thought, maybe, I did, but really? I haven’t a fu-”

Catra twisted in her seat and planted her palms onto the table, “I want to fix things. I said to Bow I want to fix things.”

It came out at a rush, almost unbidden. She inhaled and then held her breath. Glimmer just stared at her. Then she leaned back and folded her arms, eyes narrowed. “Oh? Why?”

Catra felt a level of  _ resentment _ . Why should she have to explain herself to  _ Glimmer _ ? This girl had  _ stolen _ Adora. Ruined their friendship. Made things  _ happen  _ the way they had. She was sitting here, like some sort of  _ child _ while this woman j _ udged _ her? She could feel herself losing control of the situation. Glimmer might be sympathetic, but she was also _suspicious_. And clearly holding onto _some_ sort of grudge.

Except Razz’s guidance loomed in her mind's eye. 

_ You have changed and continue to do so. _

Hordak’s advice rattled along behind it:

_ What are you afraid of? _

She inhaled and forced her shoulders to relax as she actually thought through her response. She didn’t  _ want _ to go with the kneejerk flow. She didn’t want to burn a bridge for a petty sense of victory. So, she took a breath and met Glimmer’s eyes. 

“Because I fucked up. Because I got jealous. Because I hurt someone who I… cared about. Because I want to.. No… I  _ need _ to make amends. Because I don’t want to go through life until I can let  _ her _ know I’m sorry. And… so she knows I’ve… learned to be better.”

She clutched her cup again and brought it to her lips. The tea was still warm, soothing. Not the harsh, challenging taste of coffee. She watched as Glimmer studied her. The girl had a frown that bordered on consternation, “And then what?”

Catra blinked, “Huh?”

“Great, you have your amazing moment of  _ I’m so nice now _ . And then what? You get to walk away? You move  _ on _ ?”

The cat girl was ready with a snarl but checked herself with a breath. Glimmer  _ wasn’t _ angry, she realised. It was a genuine, searching question. She drew a breath and felt a modicum of amusement when she saw the purple haired girl raise an eyebrow in surprise.  _ Again _ ,

_ Hey, look at that, turns out we can grow as people, bitch. _

Catra took another draught of her tea and shrugged, “I don’t  _ expect _ anything, if that’s what you're asking. I want to… just… let  _ her _ know. Y’know? Then I can just…. Leave her alone. You  _ know _ her. You know what she wants, right? She’s a fucking  _ ghost _ , doesn't exist as far as social media goes, so not like I can stalk her,” Catra shrugged, “I guess… it’s my penitence. I just want to say sorry and see she knows I  _ mean _ it.”

Glimmer leaned back, then glanced over as Bow sat down next to them. He slid another tea over to Catra and looked between the pair, “Both alive. That’s a  _ good _ sign. So, uh… you just want to say sorry? That the gist of it?”

There was something in the statement. Leading? A deeper question? Catra was a bit frazzled by the whole situation and just offered a mild shrug, “If she’ll accept that.”

Glimmer snorted and shook her head, “You talk like she’s some sort of… god?”

_ She is to me. _

Catra squashed the thought as soon as it rose, but had to look away, “What? She’s not on social media. She’s locked down. And… and I  _ do _ feel responsible for that,” she shuffled and looked at them, “What do you want me to say?”

It wasn’t a frustrated question - it was genuine. Bow and Glimmer both frowned at her. The boy spoke first, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what do I need to say? Because, right now… I’m a bit at a loose end. I  _ want _ to say sorry. But I _ ‘m being selfish.. I _ need to see her, need to let her…. Rage at me, maybe? I don’t fucking  _ know _ .”

“You said sorry in the club,” Glimmer shrugged, “There, done, end of story.”

Catra blinked and cocked her head, “So that WAS you,”

The girl pursed her lips and frowned, “What, my  _ death stare _ didn’t clue you in.”

“Being roofied does a number on your perception, y’know,” she suddenly felt raw and her eyes narrowed, “You… you…  _ slut shamed _ me, didn’t you?”

To her credit, Glimmer looked away, her cheeks flushed. Bow frowned and looked at his fiancee, “Seriously?”

“WHAT? Last time I saw her, she threw a punch at me! Accused me of  _ corrupting _ Adora! After she pretty much accused Adora of sleeping with me in  _ front of the school _ ,” her gaze zeroed back in on Catra, “Hardly moral high ground right now, Catra.”

This was going nowhere fast. Bow looked tense and tilted his head at Glimmer. She returned his gaze levelly. There seemed to be a whole layer of communication going on that Catra couldn’t parse. Her neck itched and she looked away, “Ok, this was… clearly you guys don’t  _ want _ me around.”

Glimmer looked back at her, expression incredulous, “Do we  _ have _ to? The ball’s kinda in your court, Catra. Again… you tried to punch me. You  _ outed _ my best friend.”   
  
“She was my friend FIRST!” it came out like bile. It had been there, for years. Never said. The tears that sat in her eyes burned suddenly, “And she  _ left _ . And I was alone. BECAUSE I  _ ruined _ it. I  _ ruined _ her and I can’t  _ take it back _ .”

Her voice was a hiss, the words like razors drawn out of her. Glimmer leaned back and folded her arms. Her gaze was sympathetic but she also seemed to have something on her mind, “So, this isn’t for you to apologise to us, to make nice? “

Catra flexed her fingers, her guilt suddenly at war with the burning  _ itch _ of irritation at Glimmer’s arch look. It seemed to have awakened all the old resentment, the jealousy. And it didn’t help that she’d amped herself up for this meeting. But she was  _ wrestling _ with it - old Catra would have leaned into it and just  _ gone _ for Glimmer. She breathed in through her nose and closed her eyes.

“This isn’t a pity parade…  _ Sparkles _ , It's... not about _you._ ” she had to let the venom out  _ somehow _ and that was a controlled explosion. Even if by doing it she kind of proved Glimmer's point. She heard a derisive snort from across the table, “I am  _ trying _ to be better. You may think I’m scum… but  _ newsflash,” _ her eyes opened and she fixed her gaze onto Glimmer, “I think I am  _ too _ . BUT I am TRYING to say sorry, to... make amends.”

The purple haired girl cocked her head and gave her another once over. Bow looked tense again, “Catra…. So, what…?”

“Not sure how many times I have to whip myself for people, because… I  _ have _ . And I’ve grown. Again, it’s a  _ thing _ that happens. I got away from that shitty town, I got away from my mom, I got away...and I am  _ trying.” _

_ “Great _ . Why does that have to include  _ us _ ? Or Adora. I think she did enough putting her neck on the line for you  _ again _ . You may be  _ different _ , or changing… but I’m not as gullible or as Scorpia. And I don’t buy into Perfuma’s aura BS,” Glimmer leaned over the table and gave her a sceptical look, “Sure this isn’t some weird kink?”

Catra flushed and glared at the girl, “The fuck?”

“I dunno? Abuse fetish or…”

Something snapped. She’d been an emotional punching bag for a week. And while part of her felt she deserved it, some things were a  _ little _ raw, “You don’t  _ get _ to joke about that,  _ Sparkles _ . No. NO,” she stood up and clutched at her jacket. She gave Bow a curt nod, then turned towards the exit. Her very  _ being twanged _ with nerves she hadn’t realised were there as she stalked towards the exit.

She walked blindly, jacket hugged around her, heart pounding.  _ So that’s that. Brick wall. And that’s what it feels like when you CAN’T make people like you again. _

Catra paused and hunched over. Then she kicked at the wall of one of the stores and let out a muffled screech. She knew, she  _ knew _ she had no right to expect anything. No right to, really, be angry. But rejection was… rejection.

Glimmer had every right to be sceptical. That was rational. Reasonable. But it didn’t mean Catra wouldn’t have  _ feelings _ about it. The girl had seemed initially sympathetic, but there was _something_ in Glimmer's eyes she'd recognised - the look of someone who couldn't let something go, not easily. A thought behind those eyes that had taken hold, that she would worry at until it was shredded to pieces. Catra _knew_ that feeling, that obsession.

She walked on, not really sure where she was going. Her mind seemed ready to go down a dark route: had that been why Glimmer wanted to meet? To insult her? Denigrate her?

Wasn’t that what Catra thought she deserved?

She paused, her feet having taken her to a park. She walked through it in a mild daze. A half heart laugh escaped her lips.

She hadn’t even been able to  _ take _ the anger she said she wanted people to show her: She’d thrown it right back, she’d  _ blown up _ . Was she really regretful? Was she just trying to get people to feel  _ sorry _ for her? She wanted forgiveness, yes… but was that it? She just wanted to get back to normal? Get this over with, so people’d  _ like _ her?

Catra stopped under a tree and leaned against it. She felt the roiling mix of guilt, shame and anger. Maybe it was just Glimmer? Maybe the fact that, under it all, it felt like everything she did  _ didn’t matter _ \- no matter how she changed, she wouldn’t be  _ worth _ anything. 

She  _ needed _ them to see she’d changed. That she  _ was _ better. That she was  _ worth _ the time. Because she couldn’t accept being hated, because it meant nothing she could do would wipe the stain away.

_ And maybe that’s going to be the penance. That was always the risk, wasn’t it? That there WOULDN’T be a nice neat bow on things at the end. That maybe you’d have to remake the picture with pieces missing. _

A hand grasped her shoulder and she spun with a hiss, eyes spiked with tears. Bow stood there, panting slightly. He stepped back and frowned at her. She swallowed and looked away, “Come to  _ lecture _ some more?”

“Actually, kinda, yeah,” he said with a huff. She glared at him, but didn’t move, “Look, Catra…. That was  _ unkind _ of Glimmer. Went too far. So…” he turned and Catra saw Glimmer was stood on the path nearby, arms crossed, face averted. Bow huffed again,  _ “SO!” _

Glimmer made an  _ UUUUUGH _ noise and stalked over. She stared at Catra, her glare not  _ quite _ that convincing. Then she sagged, “That was… shitty of me. You were an absolute  _ bitch  _ way back . But doesn’t give me the right to… drag up the bad stuff. _ I mean Fuuuuuck,” _ breathed the girl. Catra watched as Glimmer slowly shook her head. “I… never really  _ knew  _ Shadow Weaver. We heard shitty rumours about town and all but…yeah.”

Catra twitched and looked at the hands, her breathing coming hard through her nose. Glimmer stood there, patiently. Bow closer, arms folded. Glimmer’s features were tense. Catra swallowed, “Seriously, Glim… I know… I  _ know _ I’m an asshole. And I’m trying but that… is  _ not _ cool.”

The purple haired girl nodded slowly and flexed her hand. Catra was tempted to snarl and walk away; to let the  _ anger _ guide her.

_ Blue eyes. Filled with fear. With worry. From years ago. From days ago. _

Her thoughts circled a sudden  _ certainty _ . About what she was doing. Why she was going through this. For those eyes she’d take a bit of humility.

She stepped away from the tree and looked hard at Glimmer, hands still clenched around her jacket. Her breathing ragged. Glimmer met her stare, then spoke softly, “This is hard for  _ me _ Catra, ok? You had a shit time at High School, I get that. Mom found out some shit and… yeah.  _ But _ I can’t just disconnect, y’know? I can _see_ you're different but I can remember everything else.”

Catra nodded jerkily and hung her head, “I get that. And I guess…. Yeah I want things to go back to _something_ like it was, which is super stupid. For you guys to see me differently.”

Glimmer sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I get that, Catra. But I haven’t  _ seen _ you. I can just see…. Angry, Catra who tried to destroy my best friend. And then someone who looks damn near like her, just with a pout.”

That made Catra snort and she sniffled. She dragged the back of her hand across her eyes and tilted her head back, then sagged onto the grass, “Heh, well… you’re not  _ wrong _ , Sparkles. Just… feels like I’ve done the lap now, how much more do I have to do to…” she faltered and waved her hands helplessly.

Bow sat down next to her, followed shortly by Glimmer. They all exchanged glances and Bow chuckled, “Ok, reset. Catra, you want to rebuild. Glimmer, you are  _ super _ angry, whilst being _not_ angry. Still. Me… I want to give Catra a fair shout.”

His fiancee sighed and leaned back on her palms, “FINE. I can… deal. BUT I need to say this. And, Catra, you need to know this,” she stared at the cat-girl, “You didn’t  _ see _ her after your tantrum. You didn’t see the hate mail. The stuff painted on her family home. All I saw was you strutting at school, riding high. All I saw of you the other day in that bar was  _ her _ again: The girl who took a fucking torch to Adora, and didn’t care.”

She delivered it in a low monotone. Catra stared at her and felt every word hit her like a fist. Bow looked at the ground and nodded slowly. He spoke up, “And, we get it. It went to  _ ass _ for you for a bit. No idea what, not going to make you share. This isn’t twenty questions and you seem to have… been on a book tour with the gang. Maybe we  _ should _ just get everyone into a room.”

Catra made a whimpering chuckle, “World’s worst TED talk?”

Glimmer blinked and actually laughed. She shook her head and leaned forward, then hugged her knees to her chest, “I’m…. sorry about that night though. I was… angry. I was always  _ jealous _ of you, Catra. Which made it worse after School. You had her, had a brilliant friend and you broke her.”

Catra leaned against the tree and swallowed. Her voice was hoarse, “I know. I know. I tell myself that. Every day. Therapy helps but I won’t let myself off the hook.”

Bow shot Glimmer a look, “But that isn’t healthy  _ either _ Catra. We do shitty things. And yeah, it was  _ uber _ shitty. And whilst  _ some _ of us are biblical in what they feel should be Karmic justice… there has to be a point we stop cutting each other apart.”

Glimmer looked away and nodded slowly, “Yeah… yeah. And…. I guess seeing Adora just wade in for you… it’s brought back a bit. Seeing you and Scorpia, like it’s  _ all fine _ ? Sorry just… it doesn’t feel like it cuts it? Because WHAT IF...”

“I’ve got Perfuma watching me,” murmured Catra. Her voice was tired, her body like it had been through a spin cycle. This felt like a mistake and also  _ necessary _ . Glimmer didn’t like her. But she owed the girl this chance to vent at her. She had to, otherwise what was she really doing? “Asked her to, y’know, police me. Watch me,” she rolled her head against the tree to look at the pair of them, “Guess this is similar?”

Bow coughed, “Y’know…. We’re not gatekeepers?”

Catra looked him in the eye, “No? Fucking feels like it..”

He smiled, “You messaged me, remember… or, um, linked me. Whatever,”

Her gaze was steady, “Point. But you get what I mean, though?”

Glimmer studied her and sighed, then even shot her a sympathetic expression, “Yeah, ok… I guess, to you, we’re… what? Cerberus?”

Catra shrugged, “More like her parents, I guess…” she managed a grin, “Can you blame me? I mean… you  _ took _ her…”

Bow and Glimmer shared a look that seemed to convey a thousand words, then fixed it on  _ her _ , “We didn’t. Not until… well. Like I said, I was  _ jealous _ , Catra. Like, all the time.”

Catra nodded, a small expression. It was something, if Glimmer was trying to reach out. Even a little, “I know. But… when you’re angry, it gets  _ magnified _ \- You were easy to blame, at the end. To project onto. To  _ attack _ . And my therapist has… really helped. Just…” she looked up and gave a desperate shrug, “Can I talk to her? Ten minutes, just to say… cos, I know I said stuff in the club and I want to know  _ why.  _ Why she helped? Why she stepped up? Because I don’t… I don’t know  _ why _ ? And I NEED to let her know.”

She covered her face with both hands, suddenly vulnerable  _ again _ . For the FIFTIETH time. This really was a fucking pity parade. She swallowed a shudder that sat in her chest like a choked sob. Glimmer stared at her and took a breath, “You want to do a good thing, huh?”

Catra nodded sharply, “Just one. You know what it’s like to live, knowing you  _ fucked up  _ so bad? That you only realised when your own family does something to you to break you?”

Glimmer stared back at her and shook her head, “Not really. But…”

“Yeah, I get it Glimmer. You never did what I did? But have you ever been  _ so scared _ you did something dumb? Cos I sure as hell did. And I’ve  _ lived _ with it. And I just… I just WANT to do SOMETHING. Yeah, it  _ might make _ me feel better? BUT I want to make sure she knows  _ I was wrong and I know it. _ And… and maybe make things easier. And yeah, if she tells me to go away, shouts at me… I  _ gotta _ take that. I’ve got to. Because I owe her more than that. MORE now.”

Bow was practically agog. Glimmer had a frown halfway between consternation and awe, “Catra… we were kids. It’s been years. Like, this is fixation level… I mean there’s guilt and...”

She balled her fists and pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes, “You don’t get it. You don’t. It took me  _ ages _ . But I knew, I really knew. It’s why I went so hard in on her, panicked  _ so badly _ ,” her breathing was ragged again and she felt the pressure around her. The open space just that bit  _ too _ wide.

“What?” Glimmer’s voice came from far off.

“I LOVED her. With my whole  _ being _ . She was my everything. And then she told me…. Told me  _ that _ . And it meant it  _ could be something _ . Except… that wasn’t an option for me. Wasn’t  _ going _ to be. And I ran. Had to. Had to run from it. Had to  _ make her go _ so she wouldn’t…. Drag us both down,” she fixed them with a desperate stare, “It was all I’d dreamed about, there in front of me and it  _ scared me so much _ . All I could think about was my  _ mom _ . And the pain. And the rejection and  _ what if it didn’t work _ .”

Glimmer and Bow blinked at the same time. Bow actually  _ whistled _ , “Holy  _ shit _ Catra. The hell you do with old you?”

Glimmer stared at him in turn, “Woa. A legit swear bigger than  _ ass _ . You broke him Catra,” her gaze swept back to the cat girl and she offered a sad smile, “And you are  _ not _ good at dealing with surprises, are you?”

Catra shrugged, “No. Chronically bad. As for old me… Think she died a while ago.”

The girl nodded slowly, “I really want to hate you… and I  _ did _ for a while… but by Hope, it  _ takes effort. _ Now I’m just…. Suspicious? But,” Glimmer’s hair bobbed as she rocked her head from side to side, “That’s… open of you.  _ Not _ what I was expecting. So what if she wants to be friends? You still love her?”

Catra actually twitched visibly. She looked away and swallowed. In a small voice, she managed, “I… don’t know? Cos… why would she? I  _ hurt _ her. I let her down. And she went in and  _ nailed _ those guys and that’s like… so much to take in. And I haven't SEEN her, so..”

Bow scratched his head, “We’re looping a bit here, Glim.”

“Ugh, I know. But, for the record, Adora pummelling those assholes  _ was _ AWESOME,” Glimmer chuckled. She looked guilty and shook her head, “but… you're not the only bitch. I saw you on that guy's arm… I thought that was just  _ you _ . And yeah… I was  _ wrong _ there.”

Catra stared at the girl. For her part Glimer met her gaze and inhaled. They looked at each other for a while and Catra nodded slowly, “I get that and…. I am sorry for trying to knock you out at school. And for, well…  _ everything _ . It’s raw and there’s loads to unpack  _ I know _ . But… I want that out there. And I will respect if you don’t accept it and… will move on,” she nodded at Bow.

Glimmer shook her head and deflated,”Y’know alcohol, plus me seeing  _ you _ , plus knowing what Adora’d  _ do _ plus...I don’t,” she took a breath, “I don’t  _ hate _ you Catra. I just am… you can see why we’re cautious?” Catra nodded mutely, “Ok. BUT that does NOT excuse me being a  _ dick _ tat the point you nearly got  _ raped. _ ”

The cat girl blinked in shock as a hand enveloped hers suddenly. She stared at Glimmer's grip of her own hand and took a breath, “Uhhhh.”

“I won’t lie: You meet Adora and hurt her, I will make your life hell. They will _never_ find your body. BUT…. and damn me for saying this…. I won’t try to stop you.”

Catra looked at the pair. Bow crossed his arms and offered a faint smile, “You’re… not  _ that _ girl anymore. And, hell, that Catra had reasons. Messed up reasons, I’m sure. But… yeah.”

“Why, guys… I was…”

Glimmer made a disgusted noise and rolled her head back, “ _ Stop _ with the self pity, Catra. It’s  _ awful _ . You were a class 9 asshole - we were there. You really  _ really hurt Adora _ . And for a couple of years, I’d have probably buried you on sight. BUT…. I saw you in the club. And you  _ know _ how hard it is to stay REALLY angry at a person? So, do that good thing.  _ FIX IT. _ because you actually, genuinely, seem to want to. I love Adora, I know her. And she’s been  _ agitated  _ as all hell the past few days. So, just… talk to her.”

Catra felt light headed all of a sudden. She smiled like a loon for a moment, then blinked, “Uh…  _ how _ ? I don’t have her number? I don’t know how to reach her.”

Glimmer exchanged a glance with Bow and they had another  _ wordless _ exchange. It was honestly a tiny bit creepy. And endearing. Glimmer shrugged, “We’ll sort it, ok? To be honest, Adora’s been distant from everyone for a while. That night in the club? First time out in six months. She just  _ works _ . All she does.”

Catra sat up straighter, “She doing the whole  _ investing _ thing again where she doesn’t look after herself and just shuts people out?”

The couple shared another glance, “Yeah.”

That got a frustrated growl from Catra, “Of  _ course _ she doesn’t change. Breaks herself working to the bone, then has a fucking hero complex wasted on saving my sorry ass. But does that mean you guys are… what? Not friends? Perfuma, she mentioned Adora was… different.”

Glimmer bristled, “We are but… she  _ has _ changed Catra. On some levels. Her work is her life.”

Catra settled back and looked away, “I did a fucking number of her,” she murmurred. Glimmer shrugged.

“That and other stuff. It’s not  _ all _ you. She doesn’t talk about things, you know that. She just powers through,” Catra nodded and closed her eyes. Glimmer inhaled and crossed her legs, “Now, are we momentarily done with  _ deep _ conversation? Because I need to know what the  _ hell _ is up with Seahawk and Mermista. And…. we’ll talk to Adora, ok?”

Catra got swept along. She felt adrift, confused. But suddenly not  _ quite _ as isolated.

The demonic bridge-troll under the bridge toward her future had turned out to be a frankly reasonable person, after the initial volcanic eruption. The fears of judgement hadn’t come to pass, not in their entirety. And now she was having a normal, if a bit off kilter, conversation with people she used to be damn close to. Distance sullied some of their words, their approach. But it was like a wound - it healed. Yes, there’d be a scar, but maybe, just maybe, it’d be stronger for it..

She’d needed to let their feelings wash over her. To let them be  _ seen _ and to accept it. It was hard, and she’d  _ nearly _ broken it all over again. But it was tenuous. They weren’t  _ best friends _ . They weren’t even quite  _ friends _ . But for now, like with Scorpia and Mermista, it was  _ enough _ .

And for those eyes, she vowed, she’d weather any number of Glimmer’s guilt trips and body blows.

By the end of it, they were, if not cordial, at least  _ balanced _ . As Catra rose to leave, she paused, “Um… what’d you mean when you said you’ll sort it? Cos I’ve been freaking out… and I don’t  _ know _ when I’ll… I’ll…”

Glimmer huffed, “She knows you’re fine. She knows.Trust me, Catra. Just… be patient? I think she needs to come to you on this.”

Catra flung up her hands, “WHY? I’m the one who….did the.. Bad. She shouldn’t have to come to  _ me. _ ”

Bow shook his head, “Chasing her down to force your apology won’t help. Just… step back, ok? We’ll talk to her. Is that ok?”

Catra hung her head,” If… ugh… yes it’s fine. But… I don't want to force her into anything. If she  _ doesn’t _ want to talk just… please let me know?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes again, “ _ Fine _ . We’ll try to persuade her.”

Bow nodded, and rubbed his chin. It was _almost_ theatrical. Catra wasn't sure though, “It’ll be a tough conversation.”

Glimmer shook her head in a faintly exaggerated fashion, “So very tough.”

“We’ll need to get her to free up time in her diary.”

“Think she’ll free time up for Catra?”

“Dunno. I mean….”

Catra bristled, “Don’t need to rub it in. I get it…”

The pair exchanged a glance and smirked at each other, as if sharing a private joke. Then Bow laid a hand on Catra’s wrist, “Give us a couple of days. It’ll be  _ fine _ .”

Catra nodded and rose from her seat at the base of the tree. The other two followed suit, “Good to see you again, Catra…. Like this. Eventually”

She nodded then turned to Glimmer. The purple haired girl sighed, “It was easier to be angry at you. This is  _ new _ . BUT, for the record,” she scowled, “It suits you better.”

The cat girl managed a smile and shook Glimmer’s hand. As the trio parted, she found herself unsure. As she walked back towards her apartment, a sense of trepidation grew. But it was mingled with something else:

Anticipation.

One way or another, she felt things were drawing to a close. Either she’d have to accept this was the end. Or she’d rekindle a friendship.

Either way, she’d have  _ been _ better. And she could  _ be _ better for others.  Even if the only person she wanted to be better for rejected it - s he would live with it. It'd hurt like anything, but she would respect the distance she knew was coming.

She'd give Adora the space, see her again, see _her. And then_ give her the closure she deserved. And Catra would have an image of Adora, to hold and remember. An Adora who knew Catra had changed and... maybe didn't hate her.  
  
  


Then they could move on. She could deal with the pain, the inevitable rejection. But she knew she'd have done the _right_ thing by Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was VERY tempted to leave Glimmer raging at her, unforgiven, to show that SOME people can't forgive. I think this is better - because Glimmer, in the show, finds Catra at her lowest and DOESN'T kill her, doesn't mock her... and they build something.
> 
> So, Glimmer may be angry BUT she has reason and rationality. She may not be Catra's best friend but she's willing to try.
> 
> Because, you never know, she doesn't want to hurt Adora or whatever. Not like the blond is worried or has expressed worry or sat behind the scenes on a video call or anything....


	9. Apex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra deliberates with herself.
> 
> What does she want?
> 
> And things start to fall into place.

The walk home wasn’t a  _ good _ walk. With Scorpia, she’d felt a sense of catharsis, of relief.  _ Progress _ . With Bow and Glimmer it felt different - more raw, more unfinished. Part of her wanted to sprint back and just talk about  _ nothing _ , to cover  _ everything _ to see whether there was an easy combination of words to make things better.

Except it wasn’t that. She and Glimmer had never been friends, not really. They’d both been in Adora’s orbit; and that had been part of their issue. WIthout Adora, would they even have met, got on or engaged at all? Could they have had something approaching “normalcy” without the gravity well that was Adora’s effervescent and indomitable personality?

And Bow? Bow was… present. A constant. But he was so nice as to sometimes be mistaken for window dressing. That was a fatal mistake to make of course; she’d seen the guy in School go to  _ town _ on people. No one could shame you quite like Bow, with only a few words.

His kindness could kill.

So, it felt like some sort of jagged edge had been sanded down a little. Yet it was still sharp. And, if she was honest, she wasn’t sure of her motives, what she  _ wanted _ from those two. And by trying to get them to, what,  _ like _ her? It made her feel hollow. Dishonest. Which was something she didn’t want to be.

Not even to reconnect with Adora.

It’d flatline the whole thing.

But she did  _ need _ to talk to Adora.

It was a paradox. Or just a messed up situation.

She stalked along the road, hands in pockets, tail swishing from side to side, ears flat against her head. A buzz in her pocket made her roll her eyes and she fished out her phone - missed call from DT. Idly, she thumbed the return button.

“ _ Kitty kaaaat. Where you at girl?” _

“Day off, remember? Doing my world tour of unfucking shit up.”   


_ “Mhmm hmm. And how’s that going kitten?” _

“Could be better. No craters in town and I haven’t set fir to a coffee shop, Progress, I guess?”

“ _ Hah. But on the other hand, no tempting fate for blondie to show up and save yo ass again, hmmm?” _

“Shut up.”

_ “Ouch. Touchy. Anyway, fun as this is, this ain’t a social buzz, babe. Can you scroll through some files this afternoon, prep for a short and sweet catch up with Mr Moustache tomorrow?” _

“What? AGAIN?”

_ “Hey, he likes your pitch. He says, and I quote, ‘she understands ADVENTCHA,” _

Catra paused and rubbed the bridge of her nose, “This sucks.”   


_ “Price of being a-grade hot stuff awesome, kitten.” _

“Deal with Seahawk or accept life as a failure… choices choices…”

_ “Right, gotta bounce, ciao!” _

“Who the  _ fuck _ says bou- Don’t you hang up… they hung up on me,” Catra stared at the phone then grinned ruefully. She supposed she did owe DT something for  _ literally _ carrying her. With a shake of her head she continued on, with something a  _ little _ more productive to distract her mind.

One bus ride and several mugs of coffee later she was back in her apartment, Melog curled up on the couch next to her, whilst she waded through slide decks and data points. To be honest, she didn’t mind working on her off days - she tended to set herself as offline anyway, so it just meant she actually got to focus on the projects she was invested in without being  _ distracted _ by the office politics.

There were a few emails popping in; FYI’s, aggressive CC’ing, the odd gossipy BCC. Corporate events; social invites; video-conferences for remote learning; a diary reminder for the visiting trainer and speaker from that Institute or something. Part of her mind chuckled at how much of a corporate stooge she’d become. The artist no more.

She paused in updating another projection chart and set her work laptop to one side, then stretched. Her neck popped slightly and she winced. With a faint grumble she wandered from the living room to her bedroom and sifted around the bedside table to retrieve her personal laptop. SHe wasn’t sure why, aside from the fact she needed a break from the word  _ Seahawk _ .

The man was ego made flesh in how he branded EVERYTHING with his name. She wasn’t sure what Mermista saw in the man. Maybe it was something not on  _ public _ display, but she still couldn’t see the appeal - it would still be attached to  _ Seahawk. _

She returned to the couch and flopped down, which elicited a grumbling yowl from Melog. She gave him a deadpan glare in return, “Yeah, you’ve had  _ such _ a hard day, mister.”

She flipped open the laptop and sipped her lukewarm coffee as it booted, then navigated to an old folder - her  _ creative _ folder. It was a collection of draft sheets, songs, poems and stories. All fairly messy, all fairly  _ old _ . She hadn’t really touched a lot of it in recent years. The degree had taken a lot out of her, in terms of focus and her creative spark had dwindled. Her degree had been mundane, serviceable. She’d switched modules, tried to stay engaged but after all that’d happened, she’d basically forced herself through by sheer  _ grit _ .

Her creativity had suffered and she always wondered if not pursuing it had harmed her. Razz was always non committal about it - her line being “You want beauty, create beauty. But don’t try until you feel you can.”

The line she applied to most circumstances, of course. But it rang true as a thing for Catra. She hadn’t dabbled, hadn’t written, hadn’t sketched. She’d studied Art theory, creative writing and all the other soft touch modules. But she’d never  _ dived in _ as it were.

She opened her email account, as if drawn to it. Because part and parcel of the creative side was the negativity she’d tied to it at college. And that negativity had led to…

The sent box had about twelve emails in it. From years ago.

She couldn’t bring herself to open them. Never a response back. But also never an  _ “your email could not be delivered” _ . So, somewhere, there was an abandoned inbox with all that festering anger sat in it.

She wanted to delete them. To expunge their content from the universe. Except these were like shell-casings; the bullets long since fired.

She hoped that Adora had just deleted them, rather than read them.

_ Blue eyes filled with worry _ .

She shook her head and slammed the laptop shut, What was she doing? She’d been on a spiral since seeing the twosome. Whipping herself with her poor attitude? Dredging the past? NO she’d wanted to look at her old creations, to maybe… what? Try to create? Again?

  
Create what?

With a sigh, she gently placed the laptop to one side, then hauled her work laptop back onto her knees.

Those graphs wouldn’t interpret themselves.

\---------------------

Friday was  _ interesting _ . That was the charitable way of describing a visit to Seahawk’s company HQ. Which, itself, was little more than a single office in some shared office environment. Half the occupants had top knots and the rest seemed to be part of various  _ startups _ of one form or another, aggressively selling apps or something.

Catra had dressed conservatively, a maroon pant-suit and blazer and was glad she’d hadn’t gone for the full suited and booted look.

She was sat in the communal waiting area, a place of cube-stools in garish colours, coupled with an overpriced  _ independent _ coffee stall that sold sandwiches with ridiculous ingredients. People on laptops were scattered about; the workers who needed Wifi but couldn’t afford to rent one of the glass boxes in the floors above.

“Catra! My vexatious tormentor and hauler of promise! Good to see you!”

She managed to set her smile to appear  _ mostly _ genuine, “Seahawk. Careful, Mermista might get jealous. Don’t want her thinking you’re  _ into _ me, do you?”

The man was wearing a blue jacket with sleeves rolled up and a white shirt unbuttoned to his midriff. Catra got a faint flutter of satisfaction as he blanched and looked around at her mention of Mermista. He recovered, slightly. But only just, “Ahhh, well, we all jest, do we not? This is one vessel I will not set alight! METAPHORICALLY OR LITERALLY! AHAHAHA! MY JOKE! Yes…”

Catra shrugged, “Alright. Shall we? Got a few points to run through…”

She followed him to the elevators and ended up on a higher floor. Seahawk rented a whole corner of the building - about five offices, all told - a larger communal one with several smaller meeting rooms.

One of the reasons she hadn’t totally written the guy off was the fact that he  _ didn’t _ have his own office. He hot desked with the rest of his team. He shared their work. And, on studying the company finances, Seahawk even paid himself on the same level.

It was just he was a nightmare when it came to actually, well…  _ managing _ things.

Seahawk smiled faintly as they walked through and he waved genially at the staff members hanging about. They settled into one of the glass-sided rooms and Catra pulled out her laptop. Seahawk caught her glancing back out at the emptier office and shrugged.

“I’ve had to lay a few off, following your… advice. And, um… the rest are out inspecting the fleet. For safety purposes, I am not allowed within three hundred metres of any sea-going conveyance. But! THIS slanderous….”

Catra arched an eyebrow, “Slander? I mean, I’ve read the court transcripts…”   


“....this  _ yet to be proven _ aspect of my countenance shall not deter me from ADVENTCHA!”

“Good good,” Catra hummed. She frowned as she saw Seahawk settled back, expectantly, “So, uh…”

“Yes, you wanted to talk?”   


Catra had to stop herself face palming, “Seahawk,  _ you _ set this meeting up? Wanted some more guidance on…. Approaches or whatnot?”

“Oh… OH YES! YES! I did indeed ask for that, yes I  _ did _ . So. Mermista.”

The cat girl blinked and narrowed her eyes, “Your business partner’s daughter. Yes, I am familiar…” her sarcasm was clearly lost on the man as he nodded eagerly.

“YES! That’s her. SO. Ruby or diamond?”

“Um. What?”

“Engagement rings of course! Ruby screams blood and sweat and VIOLENCE. So her! But Diamonds - romance, mystery, ever changing facets of like, like the sparkle in her eeeeeeyes.”

Catra inhaled through her nose slowly, then licked her lips. Her eyes drifted to her laptop and she twitched. Calmly, she opened the slide deck and turned the screen to Seahawk. She brought up the relevant slide and pointed. He peered at it and winced.

“Ah.”

“Yes, point 73 on my org chart adjustment. NO UNNECESSARY MEETINGS. Especially MEETINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.”

“Ah HA! But you are  _ not _ an employee and thus I have not violated the spirit NOR the letter of the law!”   
  


“It’s… it’s not a  _ law _ . And, as I am being  _ retained _ by your company I am a notional  _ colleague _ by implication!”

Seahawk grimaced and tapped the tips of his index fingers together, “Ah.”

“Yeah. Fucking  _ ah _ ,” she pulled a hand over her face, “Look, I appreciate you are…. Learning. And adapting. But I have a  _ lot _ of work. And I am busting my ass  _ and _ I stayed up til two am writing this. So, please, for the  _ love _ of whatever, tell me I am not here to talk about your  _ engagement ring _ ,” she glared at him and then shrugged, “Also, congrats or whatever. Really pleased you guys are working things out.”   


He grinned, “WE are bonding! And… yes, well, she hasn’t said yes. Or implied interest BUT! BUT I think… I think I need to do it,” he deflated sadly and gestured at the office, “I… I know I am a tad flamboyant. A bit…. Overzealous, maybe? BUT I try. I  _ care _ . And, thanks to you and yours, you are  _ helping _ me. Keeping this business afloat, efficient. Keeping the people I care about in WORK!”

Catra folded her arms, about three seconds away from scooping the laptop up and marching out the door, “Ok, cute speech. Where’s the point.”   


Seahawk fixed her with a gaze. His swept back brown hair, that ridiculously groomed moustache; he shouldn’t have been  _ able _ to look earnest, and yet somehow he managed it, “You know Mermista. And…. if I am to continue to improve, I need to show  _ her _ I am doing so. In my mind at least. This is worthwhile but… I need to show her… something.”

Catra huffed, “Seahawk, getting her a fancy ring won’t show her you can be a responsible business or be reliable. You have to, I don’t know… be consistent? Try? Getting a rock? Yeah, nice, but… it’s a heckuva investment and, really? That what you  _ really _ want to do?” she leaned forwards, “Because it sounds flashy, showy and  _ easy _ .”

Seahawk leaned back in his chair, “Easy?”

“Yeah. Easy. I get it, this stuff with slides and graphs and  _ processes _ . It’s dull. I get that. I do it every day and god dammit if I don’t want to sink a whole bottle of Thaymor 1985 vintage to just  _ get the fuck done with it _ for a day. But you know something’s worth it because of that sweat, y’know? Because at the end, you feel stretched, you feel like you’ve bled a little. Because you didn’t take the nice, flashy easy option that gave you that fake buzz. So, you want to get her something? Do it. But make sure you do  _ this _ as well. Now. Sit there, shut up and  _ listen _ .”

She settled back, nodded and began her presentation. Seahawk, to his credit, gripped his seat and actually, solidly,  _ focused _ . By the end he looked dazed but fairly understanding. As he led Catra back to the lifts he even looked thoughtful. As they waited he coughed.

“Um. Thank you, Catra. I um… I think I needed that.”

“No kidding,” she murmured. She was, somehow, not shaking - she’d shocked herself a little with that outburst.

“I… I have this rep as, well...  _ The fun guy _ . Always have, y’know? Go big or go home, woooo?” he made a half hearted jazz hand wave, “Easy to uh…. Just  _ be _ that all the time. And… yeah it’s easy. Carries you through a lot. But…”

“It becomes your whole  _ thing _ ?” Catra glanced at him, uncomfortable at this newfound familiarity but also intrigued at non-adventure Seahawk. He nodded.

“I guess…. I lose sight of the little things, chasing the big, dramatic stuff. And...I can’t afford to do that here. I have seventeen people…  _ people _ with families… I need to think about that. So. Um…. thanks for… for not letting me set fire to another boat.  _ Metaphorically _ .”

The lift dinged and Catra stepped in. She planted a hand on her hip and slung her laptop bag over her shoulder, “No sweat. Oh and don’t go for a ring. Aquamarine earrings. Set off her colour choice.”

Seahawk stared at her as the doors slid shut, but she caught the start of an  _ “ADVENTCH-” _ before they clunked shut and she descended.

Catra spent the rest of the day at her apartment, deciding it was better to have her minor moment of dazed revelation alone rather than surrounded by people who’d want to  _ talk through it _ . Instead she sat on her couch and ran through that emotional  _ explosion _ . It had come from within, a place of integral self awareness that had needed some other schmuck to have it directed at.

“Thank gods for Seahawk,” she murmured incredulously.

\-------------

Saturday was a  _ housecall _ . Catra drove out of town a short way, to the Thaymor Penitentiary. She had promised Hordak a visit, after all and she did enjoy watching him try to work through various emotional revelations - her own were only morbidly fascinating.

She slid into the car park and took a deep breath as she clambered out. It was a cool morning, the air pleasant. The Penitentiary was set in a small forested area and was, to the casual observer, a relatively pleasant place - it looked more like a museum than a prison. A modern museum, yes, but hardly a  _ gaol _ . 

Catra frowned as she spotted a figure outside the main entrance - a familiar, pale figure. She approached, then slowed and shook her head, “Hordak? You’re…. Outside? And… standing?”

Her old friend turned and gave her a tight smile. He wore a sleeveless blue top, over which hung a back-back battery. Around his waist and belted to his legs was a thin set of metal struts - a lightweight exoskeleton.

“Catra! You are early! We had hoped to have a surprise… ready.”

“Well count me surprised,” she managed, looking him up and down, then past him to the entrance. A bored guard was sat inside the glass fronted doors, behind the main desk. No other guards were visible. Hordak chuckled then pointed at his ankle. Catra’s gaze followed it down and saw a small black box buckled to his ankle, “Ohhhhh.”

“Yes. One of the exit guards made a rather droll comment about how it was so I couldn’t  _ run off _ . Entrapta gave him a talking to on that one,” Catra had to suppress a smirk at how Harry’s whole demeanour softened slightly when talking about the mechanic.

“Where is small-purple and crazy then?”

AS if summoned, a van revved out from the side of the building and rolled to a halt next to them. The window wound down and the slightly-manic face on Entrapta appeared, “CATRA! Your message said 10! It’s 9:55! We aren’t  _ ready _ !”

For her part, Catra just shook her head, “As I said to Harry- I’m surprised! Just…. What’s going on? He’s not due for release….”

Entrapta waved a hand, “COurt mandated monitoring. I made the case that, as he has volunteered his time in service to various research projects, he has earned a series of reprieves which, totalled allow him  _ house arrest _ under the purview of a court appointed neutral observer!”

Catra blinked, “You?”

“ME!”

She snorted and shook her head, “You are  _ not _ neutral with Harry.”

Entrapta stared at her then grinned, “I am very good at doctoring records.”

“Duly noted. So, what’s this?”

“Oh, I’ve loaded his things in the back. HAd to park it at the maintenance bay, where I store my equipment. But NOW! Now we can sue my HOME laboratory! How EXCITING! Oh, um, you can follow along. I have CAKES at home!”

Catra turned to Harry who arched an eyebrow and shrugged. She shook her head and gestured, then mouthed  _ Neutral? _ He just managed a shoulder shrug back and then walked, only slightly awkwardly, towards the van. Catra watched, impressed, then waved them off, before heading for her own car.

She followed them for about thirty minutes before they arrived at a large house in the suburbs. Catra found herself rather impressed as she pulled up. The van had vanished into a built-in garage, but the street had plenty of space for her.

She had been reaching for the buzzer when the door opened and she was all-but-bundled inside by an enthusiastic Entrapta. The house, a two storey thing, was basically  _ hollow _ . The interior was more garage than home. Or lab, maybe. Open plan, save for a mezzanine with a bedroom (From Catra’s limited view up the stairs); the rest consisted of a workstation, several large screens and a functional kitchen. She took it all in and snorted.

“Wow…”   


“I don’t get many guests, y’see, so… um, hope you don’t mind…” Entrapta seemed  _ nervous _ all of a sudden. Catra had known the girl a while but they’d only really known each other through the tall, silent and socially awkward jock nearby. She noticed Entrapta’s fidgeting and Harry’s suddenly concerned look and let out a sigh.

“Hey, it’s pretty cool,” she smiled at the young woman and shrugged, “Just not quite what I pictured.”

Entrapta frowned, “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Catra gave her a lazy grin, “I was thinking more arcing electricity and tesla coils.”

Harry chuckled whilst Entrapta stared, “Those would be very inefficient as… oohhhhhh! A commentary on my  _ mad science _ tendencies. Of course…. I actually do have some smaller ones for display….”

Catra smiled as Hordak intercepted the bubbly mechanic and steered her away. Moments later they were settled on a surprisingly comfortable couch in the corner of the workshop, with coffees in hand. Entrapta had ordered a whole box of bespoke baked goods and Catra was helping herself to the surprisingly moreish collection.

The conversation was pretty light - Harry getting this pseudo parole, with monitoring of his behaviour. Entrapta was his main warden, but there would be spot checks for the first few weeks at least. Harry seemed content with it all, which made Catra curious.

“So…. what about your dad? You… going to do anything, now you’re out?”

Harry leaned back and blinked his red eyes. He mused over the question, face serious, then shook his head, “No. That feels… unnecessary. I have no wish to engage with him. I am content. If I can aid Entrapta with her research, all to the good. Her sponsors are eager to see results and applications. I, for my own part, have been assisting in courting investors.”

Catra arched an eyebrow, “Wow, that time inside must’ve been great for networking,” she chuckled. Harry shook his head and managed a faint smile.

“It’s amazing what you can ask when people think nothing of you. Plus, a lot of investors do not expect a paralysed man to be articulate, engaged or  _ intelligent _ it would appear. I may have only spent a small amount of time with my father’s work… but it was intense and I did learn.”   


“Eh… if it helps now, maybe it was worth it?”

Harry gave her a scrutinising look, “Indeed. What is life if not a series of lessons to help us become who we are meant to be?”

“Oooo deep for a Saturday morning Harry. Crack out the vodka before we got  _ that _ route.”

Entrapta watched their interaction, then laid a hand on Harry’s knee. She looked slightly possessive, but only slightly. Harry covered her hand with his and squeezed. Catra felt a faint pang of jealousy - not of them, per se, but the situation. She leaned back in her seat and sighed.

“Yeah, I guess so. Still working on that. Not quite sure  _ why _ I’m doing it. What’s my end game, y’know?”

“Does there have to be one? Surely it is an ongoing process?” Harry shrugged.

Catra rolled her eyes, “That’s hardly reassuring.”

“Change is all iteration,” chimed in Entrapta, “But it is also about marked objectives over time. Otherwise, well… chaos. Which is fun and observable in its own way. I have detailed notes on the progress you’ve both made, if you want it modelled effectively? I can put it into the…”   


“Wait what?” Catra sat up straight and Entrapta stared at her. Realisation dawned on the girl.

“Ohhhh. Keeping notes on people can seem  _ weird _ . Well, no doubt the equivalent is your opinions on  _ me _ stored in your brain. I just need to outsource my memory at times. Also, it was part of my side role of observation on Harry’s progress in adjusting to the various treatments and devices… your input with him was a variable I had to take into account, as you are both…. close.”

Was she angry? Catra analysed her own thoughts and realised she wasn’t, really. A little embarrassed? Maybe a tad offended and off guard. But… Entrapta was certainly  _ not _ malicious. So, she settled back, “Nah, makes senses. I mean…. I’m actually kinda curious now.”

“Well, let me know if you would like to review.”

She wasn’t  _ quite _ sure she did want to. Harry interrupted with a more direct query, “And how goes the wider reconciliation project?”

That knocked the wind out of her sails a tad, “No Adora… yet. And I don’t know, with Bow and Glimmer… just feels really  _ off _ .”

“Well, you will not be able to reconcile with everyone. Even now, with my father's empire in disrepair, I have no desire to mend fences. Some areas will  _ never _ be fixed or are irrevocably changed and you will have to make peace with that. And forge new avenues,” he actually  _ smiled _ and Catra arched an eyebrow, “We have discussed this, I know. I have no desire to bore you, Catra. You say your piece, do what you can.”   


“Yeah, can’t make people like me. Or forgive me.”   


“Indeed. But you can strive to be better in yourself. And do  _ good _ yourself, to better avoid those mistakes in the future. Analyse your motivations is the only advice I can give. Understand what you want to strive to  _ be.” _

She nodded and then something chimed in her head, “Wait… your father’s empire is… what?”

“Did I not elaborate? Over the past year his holdings have been divested and he has been bankrupted. I believe he has had to relocate. Several of my brothers have reached out, asking for advice as he has cut them lose. I have…. Not decided whether to assist.”   


Catra stared at him, “That’s kinda big news to  _ omit _ .”

“It is not exactly common knowledge, I know. My father kept his businesses fairly diverse and his involvement limited. And yet he has been exposed and quietly reduced, it would appear.”

“How?”

“I am…. I may have assisted certain interested parties in identifying core structures of his firms and… that may have lead to the ongoing damage to his reputation.”

“Wow. Harry scorned is  _ mean _ . Who’d you tell?”

A faint smile played on Harry’s face, “Some acquaintances with axes to grind of their own. Some people took his business interests and his…  _ re-education _ centres as a personal slight. Perhaps… very personal,” his eyebrow arched at her and he looked her up and down. She missed the gesture as she was staring into space.

“Wow. So, uh,.... Those, um… places are gone?”

“To my knowledge, yes. Though the activities relating to their exposure to the media and ongoing litigation are… not something I have kept up with.”

That was  _ big _ . Catra felt a bit confused - she’d always had a dream of going back to the camp, setting the whole thing on fire. Maybe kicking her mother’s front door in with a full police team to have them haul her away. Or have Hordak Snr beaten up in an alleyway.

This felt so distant and she was surprised she’d  _ missed _ it. Then again - backwoods conversion therapy centre getting closed was hardly on her Social Media subscription list.

They settled into a light conversation, but Hordak’s comments on motivations and  _ actions _ kept coming back to her. The man hadn’t just turned over a whole attitude - he’d gone  _ against _ his father COMPLETELY. And knocked him down. And, it seemed, not out of bitterness, but out of a sense that what had happened, what had continued to happen was  _ wrong _ . Throughout the conversation Entrapta had been taking notes, watching the both of them, and Catra wondered how much the intense woman had influenced the stoic, formerly pompous man. Judging by the look of faint pride on her face, a little bit, she was sure.

It was while she was driving home, from the engineer’s house, she came to a decision. She pulled over into a layby and dialled Bow. The man picked up after the second ring.

“ _ Hey, uh, Catra…. How are you doing CATRA. How is the day going?” _

Weird, “Uh, hey Bow. Is, um...is Glimmer there?”

“ _ She i…. Wait, you want to talk to Glimmer?” _

“Yeah, I mean, I could talk to you, but it’d be echoing whispers.”

_ “And you’re sure… no one else…?” _

“Dude, who else would I phone you to talk to, when you’re at home? Just… if Glimmer’s not there, tell her to call me… please? I… have some stuff I didn’t say and…”

There was a rustle and the phone clunked onto a surface. Then Glimmer’s slightly irate voice came over the line.

“ _ You’re on speaker. What’s up?” _

Ok, straight to it. Catra inhaled, “So, uh… I was an ass the other day. I mean, you were too BUT BUT BUT!” she interjected before Glimmer’s temper could flare, “BUT! I… my motives weren’t great, I get that. I wanted to speak to Adora and, yeah, you guys were the easy way. And I don’t want that.”

There was a pause and some rustling, “ _ You don’t… want to talk to Adora? _ ” came Glimmer’s tentative query. Catra groaned.

“I honestly don’t know if I  _ can _ . It’s… it’s cary, y’know? What do I even say to her? ‘OOps, I was a fuckwit? Didn’t mean to out you and ruin your life because I was gay and in denial and closet in love with you?’”

Glimmer made a weird noise on the other end of the phone. Bow seemed to squee faintly. Something clattered. Catra frowned, but Glimmer interrupted, “ _ Uhhh, ok, big words, scary scary words for SOME PEOPLE to hear, clearly.” _

“Yeah, don’t know why it’d freak you two out. Anyway, besides the point. Using you two… was an asshole move. Honestly, I owe you guys a lot more. I was a shitty friend in high school and…. I want to get to know you guys, in some way. Be better, long term. And also… I am so so sorry, for what it’s worth. And, I suppose, this is me saying you don’t need to get Adora to talk to me. Or… trick her or.. I don’t know, do anything.”

_ “So, uh… what does that mean, you and her?” _ came Bow’s tentative query.

“Dunno. I mean, she’s… this force of nature in my head, right? This big old  _ goal _ I have. And… that’s too big? She’s like that… what’s that story with the whale?”

Glimmer snorted, “ _ Adora’s your Moby Dick…. Catra, do you want some Adora di- _ ”

“Shut up sparkles… regretting this already,” but Catra smiled as she said it and it leaked into her voice, “And…. no. No that’s not fair. I do, I know, need to…. Give some closure. But I also need to maybe… close the book? For me, too. I want to be better, I really do. New leaf. But obsessing over Adora? Can’t be good. And… and you may hate me for saying that Glimmer, Bow. I just… I think I need to say sorry. Desperately so. But also… I don’t  _ know _ . It’s been so long, we’re so  _ different _ probably. She doesn’t owe me anything, I get that, but… I maybe need a clean cut, so I don’t hurt her, and so I don’t hurt myself? Selfish, right?”   


She sniffled slightly, not quite sure why her brain was running like this. There was a scrape of a chair on the other end and footsteps. Then another set of steps. Glimmer spoke up again, faintly distracted, “ _ Um… you… you know I was kinda in favour of you leaving her alone, never talking, all that?” _

“Yeah, thought you’d be angry if I did that anyway, just… more proof of me being selfish….” Catra sighed.

“ _ I mean, Kinda do. I GET what you’re saying - you’ve beaten yourself up about this, I think… and this is so Bow’s field.” _

Catra idly pondered where Bow had gone. And whether Glimmer had walked away with the phone or someone… someone else had? She had a strange sense of dread in her stomach, but she didn’t know why. Glimmer continued.

“ _ So what do you want Catra? I mean that nicely, by the way. I mean, we can… pass something on, if… if…” _

“I… ugh, this is coming out wrong. Ok. Step one. I’m sorry for being an asshole. Seriously, I’m trying to not emotionally manipulate and be more ass-y. And I know we’re about to go down a rabbit hole ehre where  _ this _ sounds manipulative by me saying I don’t WANT to be yadda yadda _.”  _ She took another breath and adjusted herself in the car seat, “Second… with Adora I don’t  _ know _ . Because…. Because I….”   


_ “How do you feel?”  _ Bow’s voice again, getting louder as he approached the phone.

“About this? Dunno. I haven’t seen her in years. Aside from, drunk me, of course. But… I’m not sure I can deal with a handshake and it being  _ done _ ? I can’t even write her an email! I don’t think I could  _ call _ her if you gave me her number.”   


Bow snorted, “ _ Yeah, talking to people over the phone. SO DIFFICULT _ ,”

“You being sarcastic Bow? Doesn’t suit you.”   


_ “Wasn’t talking to you Catra… but nevermind. SO, you’re… overwhelmed?” _

“...I guess. But my main point, I DON’T want you to feel… obligated. And, well… “

“ _ Would you rather never see Adora again, engage with her, or deal with anything about her? And if so…. Would it make you feel better?”  _ Glimmer’s voice was hard.

“Um,....”

“ _ Say,”  _ Glimmer continued.  _ “Say you say sorry. For everything. Right now. As if she were here… or we could tell her. Word for word. Heck, we could record this. And then, as you say, clean cut. Alllllllll done. BEcause we can. And… well, we can all re-evaluate our opinions of each other after that. But, clean break, no hard feelings done dusted. I get to see the back of you, you get closure, Adora gets…. Closure.” _

Catra tensed and wanted to suddenly shout, to snarl. She checked herself and opened her mouth ready to go with a  _ yeah, let’s. _

To just cut the cord, to reinvent herself anew.

To be free of burdens and live her life as a  _ better _ person, unshackled from this monster in her head she’d built.

But Glimmer’s voice had something in it. Curiosity, perhaps? Challenge?

There was no heat in the “ _ see the back of you” _ . Just…. Flippancy?

_ But you know something’s worth it because of that sweat, y’know? Because at the end, you feel stretched, you feel like you’ve bled a little. Because you didn’t take the nice, flashy easy option that gave you that fake buzz _

Yeah, she’d feel she’d done her  _ duty _ . She’d have apologised, in the knowledge that Adora would have  _ heard _ it. And Adora would also know Catra was in pain, was a coward and not worth her time. Which… was…. What she wanted?

But this was the RING wasn’t it? That big gesture? The “I did the right thing, the NOBLE thing”.

Ironically, facing Adora would be dramatic but would also be a big gesture…. But it would be the thing that took the  _ effort _ .

“I guess… no. No. I won’t do some second hand… thing. I… I owe it to her to actually give her this face to face. I may be an ass. But not… not a coward.”

Glimmer hummed a satisfied sound on the other end of the phone,  _ “Well look at that. The leopard does change its spots.” _

“Ok, enough with the cat jokes.”

“ _ Have a think about how you feel, Catra. Like I said… no messing, alright?” _

“Wouldn’t dream of it… I…. I guess I care too much to fuck this up again?”

_ “Care? Orrrrrrr” _ that was Bow.

“Yeah, nope, not going there right now. Right, that’s enough emotional trauma from this girl.”   


“ _ Yeah yeah…. Apology accepted, Catra,” chuckled Glimmer, “And… yeah we’ll sort out another coffee. Less running and shouting, though, please?” _

“Think I can manage that. Uhm…. Thanks guys. I’ll… I’ll work out how to reach out to Adora. Somehow.”   


Bow sniggered, “ _ Trust in fate Catra. These things… have a habit of working themselves out _ .”

She laughed, said her goodbyes then hung up. It had felt… weird. For some reason she felt like she’d been eavesdropped on. But then again, speakerphones were just weird to her. It felt all too open. With a shrug she pulled out of the layby and headed home.

\---------

Monday was a  _ hectic day _ . The morning rush on public transport meant she hadn’t had her decent coffee and the sheer number of over-the-weekend emails from clients and prospective clients asking for input, feedback and  _ ridiculous  _ opinions meant her inbox was anxiety inducing from a single glance.

And then add onto that that they had the cursed  _ guest speaker _ presentation. It’d been shunted about but had landed on a (luckily) post lunch slot. Spinerella wasn’t in as she’d gone to meet the speakers for lunch - there were a few from a number of clients and also this Light Hope training and advisory firm. The format was a mix of direct presentations and  _ debates _ .

Catra usually found these sort of events tiresome and she expected nothing different this time around. She vouchsafed this to DT over lunch in the cafeteria. They just shrugged and smirked, then added, “But think of the  _ networking _ . Babe, you could land a job with your experience  _ anywhere _ . The only silly thing about it to me is they let  _ other firms _ talk to us. Prime poaching time.”

That just made Catra roll her eyes, “Like  _ you’d _ ever leave.”

They shrugged, “Maybe. For the right price.”   


After lunch and a few more crisis management level phone calls, analysis calculations and the usual planning that went into client care, they made their way to one of the larger “auditoriums” in the building. The place was, basically, three large meeting rooms with sliding dividers opened up to make the space larger. It could sit well over 100 people and looked to have that many in place, all the chairs set up in rows and the meeting tables moved to one side. Usually these rooms were partitioned off for “team building” or larger project brainstorming sessions. Now it was like a school assembly, or a really low budget concert in a park.

A screen was lowered for a projector to display onto and a lectern had been put in place at the far end of the room. Catra and DT settled down towards the back, most of the other chairs having been taken. She could make out Netossa down the central aisle, talking to the speakers, who were sat at the front, obscured by the crowd. It seemed like most of the firm were in for the talk.

Catra pulled her phone out and idly began playing one of her match games, to distract herself. The lights were slightly dimmed and NEtossa began speaking.

“Thanks everyone for coming. We’ve got a fully packed afternoon for speakers, so I hope everyone’s blocked out time for the next three hours! No calls! PLEASE! And I know last time it was  _ me _ so, to be sure, I gave Spinny my phone,” a slight chuckle rolled across the room as the attendees relaxed. Netossa grinned, “So, we’re covering a fair bit - Women in work, Discrimination, Corproate responsibility, among a few things. I’d like to thank all our speakers for taking the time to come and talk to us today… so, let me give you a brief bio on them, so you know the  _ who’s who _ .”

Catra tuned out again. A picture of an unfamiliar woman pinged on the screen with some short words and she returned to her phone. DT played with their hair next to her, checking their own phone for updates. More introductions - a chairman of a charity; a woman who led for effective unionising of retail workers in Errebon; an LGBTQ rep for a networking agency.

Something filtered into her ears. A set of syllables that  _ couldn’t be right _ . They were  _ alien _ in this environment, but she’d been so zeroed in on her phone she hadn’t paid attention. An elbow in her ribs made her turn her frown from her phone to look at DT.

DT who was staring slack jawed at the stage. They pointed and  _ wheezed _ “Valkyrie,” 

Catra couldn’t. She felt frozen. And yet her mismatched eyes tracked to the front.

A figure had stood from the front row and stepped onto the small raised platform where the lectern stood.

Blonde hair, with that  _ same _ poof and a loose ponytail; a white suit inlaid with gold lining and a cream blouse clung to a body that wasn’t bulging but was  _ defined _ . Long legs that ended in no-nonsense kitten-heel gold shoes. Oh so  _ tall _ and those  _ blue _ eyes. Catra couldn’t see the colour from the back, but she  _ knew _ .

The woman walked with confidence, a surety in her steps as she turned to face the audience. The  _ valkyrie _ planted a hand on a hip and gave the room a lazy, lopsided smile. Those eyes locked onto Catra and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to faint, run or just flat out  _ die. _

“Good afternoon everyone, pleasure to be here. My name’s Adora Grayskull and I’m delighted to be your first speaker for today’s session.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this one jumped about a bit - BUT I felt it all... was needed thematically. Hence why it took a bit to get it sorted in my head!
> 
> Also, Modern AU, not specified the setting, but for the purposes of the joke, yes Moby Dick exists in this universe. :P
> 
> Oh, look who decided to show up PROPERLY ;)


	10. Clearing skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What motivates a woman like Adora? What drives her forwards?
> 
> And what has Catra got to do with it...?

_ What the fuck. What the ever loving, mother effing, sweet Messiah humping FUCK _ .

_ Adora was here. HERE. In  _ her _ office block. And not just in her office. Her office that she clearly knew Catra worked at. Clearly was aware. And knew Catra was going to be there. Knew she was going to be here. _

_ This was her revenge, wasn’t it? She was going to reveal Catra’s history. She was going to expose her in front of her colleagues, ruin her, absolutely crush her. It was brilliant, really, a cunning ruse. She’d trusted Glimmer and Bow and now she…. She…. she… _

_ She needed to leave. Get a head start. Get out. _

Her hands dug into her thigh, her claws nearly piercing the fabric of her pants. She was breathing heavily through her nostrils and she was part  _ raging _ and part fascinated. She owed Adora revenge, yes; but her self preservation screamed at her to run.

But oh by the gods… Adora  _ was _ a valkyrie.

Catra trembled as she stared at the small stage and the figure who stood there. Gone were all the traces of teen baby fat, leaving a sharp jaw-line, her face further marked by sharp cheekbones. Her neck was long, with the clear definition of tendons and her  _ throat _ . Catra swallowed as she stared. On the screen was a larger shot of Adora - a corporate headshot, listing her achievements, like some ESPN score card.

_ Operations manager? _ It didn’t sound grand. Adora was supposed to be grand, some heavy hitter?

Her eyes took in the shoulders that were barely concealed by the fit of her blazer, those legs that just  _ stretched _ . Her stance commanding and confident.

Adora had  _ hated _ public speaking. Catra blinked and noticed the tell tale signs. Adora kept her hands close together - she moved her stance slowly from one foot to another - never  _ quite _ still. But it was a marked improvement from the bouncing leg and lip-licking.

_ Don’t think about Adora licking her lips _ .

She needed to get out of there. She could…. Maybe… handle being exposed, but not being in the same room. She wasn’t that brave. Was a coward, really. After all, she had…

Her legs unlocked and she made to stand. A hand laid gently on her shoulder and she froze and part turned. Glimmer sat behind her and smiled. It was a gentle, reassuring smile. Next to her sat  _ ANGELLA _ . Angella Moon…. Glimmer’s mom and a powerful CEO in her own right. The tall woman gave an appraising look, but her face remained impassive. Spinnerella was sitting next to her and gave Catra a thumbs up, then gestured at the stage.

What. The. Hell?

Catra swallowed and turned - Spinnerella  _ knew _ so… if she was reassured and this WAS a trap Catra could sue, and well…

Adora had given a small introductory spiel that Catra had missed. The slide showed a breakdown - “LGBT integration and protections”; “Women as leaders”; “Industry leading change in communities”. Catra frowned. There was also a point on  _ “BACKGROUND”  _ that chilled her.

Adora spoke up, “So, like I said, with Light Hope’s recent history, it’s really really good that we’ve gotten the attention of fine folks such as yourself. I will try not to waffle - I’m known for rambling, right Glimmer?”

Glimmer cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered “Get on with iiiiit!” and Adora grinned. Catra felt herself twinge - part with jealousy, part with  _ something else _ . The tall blonde flicked a slide and it showed… showed their old town.

“So, I suppose, to give you some backstory  _ beyond _ our recent achievements in being badasses,” that got some chuckles, “So, Light Hope was originally three charities, all doing work in different areas. Women’s rights, LGBT sheltering and recovery, as well as a third covering job support for disadvantaged youth. I bet you can already see some overlap, right?”

It wasn’t that funny, but there was still a bit of a chuckle across the audience. Catra frowned at the picture of the town, though and chewed her lip. Adora went on.

“So, I was originally at a High School here. And, my background  _ isn’t _ tragic. Or a drama. I experienced some rough things. And, if you hadn’t guessed, I’m gay. I know, rude to ask a girl. BUT I like to get it out of the way early,” Catra cringed a bit and Adora looked at her. And then  _ winked _ !

WINKED?!

“I was an oblivious person. Privileged. I only had my first exposure to the pain that people could go through at High School,” Wait, what? “I was never bullied, really. I left High School early, but still took my exams. I’d had a bad experience…”

_ Here it comes…. _

_ “ _ ...where someone I cared about a lot went through a traumatic experience. I didn’t know how to deal with their pain. To help. I ran away from it. And, yes, I was going through some of my own issues with coming out at that time. But I was lucky to have a support structure. Friends. Trust. Family who cared about me. But I was  _ angry _ . Angry that I had been put in an awkward position. It was only after a few weeks that I realised I had put  _ someone else _ in that position. Someone who didn’t have the stability, the privileges I had. And, really, who had a lifetime of indoctrination stacked against them.”   


Catra blinked, confused. Adora went on.

“And...I  _ couldn’t _ help. That bridge had burned. I had to leave someone in pain. Someone who I knew had more to give, but was trapped by their own environment and couldn’t  _ see _ beyond it. Couldn’t see me, really. But I,  _ maybe _ , could have done more. It dogged me for weeks. So… being a very intelligent person and not at all a dumb blonde, sorry, I’m allowed to say that… I told my mom I wasn’t going to college and that I was going to join a charity for LGBT youth instead.”

That floored Catra. Adora  _ hadn’t _ gone to college? She was sure…

“I did extra credit and online courses. My family moved out of our town, which was small, closed minded… but by that point, change was happening. After a rather large protest at my old school,” Catra remembered THAT day. She’d stayed away for good reason, “A lot of the town saw a swing change. And that told me something important.”

Catra found herself leaning forwards.

“Opinions are lazy. They are held in place by gatekeepers and the flimsiest of things. All it took was influence in the right place, coupled with enough of a public movement to radically move the local thought process. Now, my old town has a Pride parade every year.”

_ It did? _ Catra hadn’t been back to see her mom or the town… not since the… centre.

“And we had to do some… proactive additional campaigns down the line. However, I’m getting ahead. I joined The Hope institute as a PA and, within a month, I was running fundraisers and awareness campaigns. Thaymor, Eberron, Salineas… we went everywhere. But I saw the fact we were doubling up. Now, charities are… territorial.”

Catra blinked as Adora arched an eyebrow and smirked. Her mouth was dry  _ oh gods I’m doomed _ .

“And charities are _stupid for being so_. SORRY ANGELLA!”

Behind her, Angella cupped her hands around her mouth and bellowed, “Get on with iiiiit!”

Glimmer snorted and nudged her mother who smiled, then arched an eyebrow at Catra who’d turned to stare at her. The smile never left her face. Catra blinked and turned back to the stage. She saw DT with a very confused look on their face. She listened as Adora described how she’d gotten the three charities to, basically, work together - pool their resources, their legal campaigns, their lobbying.

Shelters became shared spaces, safe spaces; rallies became crossover events. Individual issues were important, but rather than having businesses shut them out because they were getting three phone calls or flyers through their door, they got one, along with a more slick approach.

Adora then described their first  _ major _ legal challenge.

And her heart stopped.

It was a picture.

Of the… camp. The centre. The conversion therapy centre. Adora was now rigid on stage and Catra stared at the girl.

She  _ knew _ .

Somehow… somehow she  _ knew _ . Not just  _ now _ . But…  _ then? _

“I’d been in the job two years, basically running the operations for three charities. We’ve fired a lot of our seniors because they were drawing huge salaries but… not bringing in the donations. Not exactly a good balance sheet, even for a non profit. How’d I do that? I have… my ways,” she smirked and did a set of finger guns, “For the record, I didn’t shoot them. But the charities were small enough that when we were consolidated, generous donors were able to… influence structural decisions. However, BESIDES the point. Told you I waffled."

Catra felt the smile tug at her face. She watched Adora point at the screen and the centre. The white walls and the weird, new age design of the building still gave her chills.

“This is a conversion therapy centre. Where people send family members to be  _ cured _ . Now, setting aside the fact that homosexuality is a natural aspect of our lives, exhibited throughout the animal kingdom, this is barbaric. Also, it was  _ in my home town _ ,” she can see Adora is frighteningly still now. Her words more clipped.

A hand came back to Catra’s shoulder, but it wasn’t Glimmers. She looked over her shoulder and swallowed as she saw Angella leaning forwards, eyes still trained on Adora.

“What does this have to do with you in business? What does  _ this _ have to do with a charity like ours? Aside from the fact that we exist to protect people from places like this, to over safe havens for people who have to  _ flee _ their families when they think this is the  _ correct _ course of action?” Adora clicked to the next slide and a picture that looked  _ eerily _ similar to Harry Hordak flashed up, Except this one was paler, with white hair set into complex braids. Vibrant greens eyes glared out of the picture, along with a toothy snarl of a smile.

“It has to do with the fact this centre was funded by and operated under the umbrella of the Prime corporation, owned wholly by Hadrian Hordak The First.”

There were some mutterings in the room and Adora smiled.

“The gagging order on this was lifted two weeks ago, the press have the details and there  _ will _ be a full expose in several outlets. Some of this has already, _sadly_ … leaked. But we were instrumental in gathering information, testimony and other evidence. We are assisting individuals and groups with several class action law suits. We are acting as a... _rebellion_ against the status quo, I suppose. Currently Prime Corporation is being investigated for a variety of money laundering schemes, illegal business operations and for fraudulent use of charitable status. So,  _ this _ is why what we do is important.”

She surveyed the room, eyes pausing on Catra and a faint smile tugged at the blonde’s face.

“All aspects of society are intertwined. Without Prime, this place wouldn’t have existed. Without the culture of homophobia, misogyny and employment issues, we wouldn’t have trickle down impacts on our communities. Well paid, cared for employees perform better, have less stress and  _ cost you less money _ in the long term. They cost less in Health care insurance. They cost less in attrition and retraining. They cost less in lawsuits against poor behaviours. They cost less in terms of  _ moral damage _ . And, frankly… is being  _ kind _ too much an ask? You can be kind and make a profit.”   


She shrugged and gave the room a side eyed look.

“But I work in charities. What would I know?” behind her the slide deck shifted to a tonne of graphs showing various profit shifts and employment costs, “Some of the firms we’ve worked with over the past few years, showing monthly shifts on attrition, productivity, efficiency and all those  _ awesome _ figures.”   


She’s cocky. Still so cocky. But the pose, the way she looks at the audience, challenging them isn’t  _ arrogant _ . It’s assured. Catra felt Angella’s hand on her shoulder and tentatively, slowly, reached up to clutch it. She felt Angella squeeze her fingers, very gently, then pull back.

She’s… safe? What was this for? What is this supposed to tell her? Catra felt at sea. Just staring at this… force in front of her.

A girl who,  _ apparently, _ knew about the whole… conversion attempt. And seemed to  _ somehow be involved _ in wrecking Prime. Had… had Hordak mentioned…?

_ Associates _ ? He’d been giving Adora information? Or her charity? Or… who?

A girl who had, without thinking, fought abusers and thugs for her.

A girl who had carried her away, then charged right back in.

Catra checked to make sure her jaw wasn’t on the floor somewhere. Adora was explaining a few more bullet points - how encouraging and providing a secure environment for employees, better packages, better safe spaces made for more effective work areas; which then trickled into better, safer communities. How businesses could help by getting active in local events - not just donating but being  _ visibly active _ . Good PR, good employee engagement, good end result for local communities.

“You improve the community, improve the local infrastructure, you get people who  _ know _ you. A generation who can focus on their schooling, their futures, rather than just  _ surviving _ or  _ hiding _ themselves. You change minds, you impact  _ government _ . Better government and local authority? Better engagement with the businesses that have  _ driven _ that change.”   


Catra arched an eyebrow. That was a very cynical way of looking at it.

“I know, it’s a very cynical way of looking at it. But… you can spent millions lobbying to  _ keep things the same _ …. For a few years. Or you can be at the  _ head _ of the change, be remembered for it. What’s worse - a few negative headlines from media that WILL find something to say anyway… or the slow disintegration of a business as employees leave and some individuals siphon off the good bits? You want to survive, lead from the front, be  _ known _ , be change not just in business. And, if you want advice…”

She clicked again and her business contact details appeared on screen. She looked straight at Catra.

“Call me.”

\---------------

The other presentations were… far less entertaining. Adora had, basically, smashed the competition to pieces. Passion, information,  _ facts _ . Catra had basically sat there, dazed, with DT shooting her the odd smug expression. Adora had sat at the front and seemed to be  _ attentive _ . She remembered Adora drooling in class when she fell asleep, but this… grown up her was shocking. Her focus, her intensity. It radiated right from the front row.

Catra was sure the girl could feel her eyes on her.

“Enjoy the show, Catra?” Glimmer leaned forward, her voice curious and a  _ little _ bit smug.

Catra growled and glanced over her shoulder, “Because your mom is _right_ _there_ , I will refrain from swearing,” she managed in a hush.

“Oh don’t be gentle with Glimmah on my account, my dear. She needs the odd peg knocked out of her now and then. Oh and  _ did _ you enjoy the show?”

Catra goggled as Glimmer rolled her eyes at her mother. Angella, for her part just arched one immaculate eyebrow again, her enigmatic smile in place, “Wh…. what show?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, “Told you mom. She’s… oblivious.”

“Well, my dear, she has had rather the shock. I still feel this is… rather dramatic.”

This was far too confusing. Catra glanced back at the stage, where a man was droning on about improving HTML coding or something and how that could… improve equality? A glance back showed the strained interest on Spinerella’s face and she just shrugged at Catra. DT looked to be asleep.

But, a look at Adora showed she seemed rapt. Catra shook her head, “She’s… not normal.”

Glimmer snorted and Angella hummed. The pink haired girl leaned forward, “Yeah… this is the most animated we’ve seen her for years.”

Catra shot her a look and Glimmer shrugged. Angella whispered, “We can talk afterwards dear, if you’d like.”

Her stomach turned to lead, “W… will…”

Angella smiled gently, “She will be… Around. But… I think she has rather left the next move to you, Catra.”

Glimmer shot her a glare that had no heat in it, “You  _ better _ .”

“Um I… I don’t… I didn’t.”

She was dazed. And she wasn’t sure she’d taken note… oh. She had clearly scribbled Adora’s phone number onto her notepad.

Three times.

Along with her email address.

And Linkedin @.

Catra didn’t look at Glimmer, but did hear a snicker.

Despite her flush she didn’t feel all that bothered all of a sudden.

\-----

The hall emptied and Catra was towed out by Glimmer, with her mother and Spinnerella behind. DT ambled along, humming to themself happily. Catra blinked as she found herself led to the elevators and gently pushed inside. She huffed and folded her arms.

“What is going on? I feel like I’m under arrest.”   


Spinnerella chuckled and smiled at her, “Well, this is probably very inappropriate as your boss. But I wanted to make sure that you didn’t bolt and… do something silly.”   


“Like what?” Catra splayed her arms and practically wailed the response.

“Like go get blind drunk and hyperventilate?” deadpanned Glimmer.

“Oh she’s got you there Kitten,” smirked DT. Glimmer glanced at them and smiled, then extended a hand.

“Hi, Glimmer Moon, a pleasure.”   


“Oh I like you. Double Trouble, resident Kitten whisperer and chaperone," they turned and smiled at Catra, "This the one you were whining about?”

“I… I was not  _ whining _ .”

“Oh please,” DT leaned forwards and, in a stage whisper, added, “Super jel, y’know? Just an fyi.”

“We’re aware,” grinned Glimmer. Catra stared between them, shock on her face.

“What? I feel…”   


“Betrayed? Babe, your face. Almost as good as applause,” DT winked, “And all in good fun. Don’t worry, I’ll scratch anyone’s eyes out if they genuinely touch a hair on that pretty head.”

Angella cocked her head and studied Catra. It was unnerving - the last time she’d seen the woman, Glimmer had had her face down in front of the High School. She shuffled and twitched, “What… what’s all this….?”

The doors opened and Glimmer gently took her hand. Catra felt overwhelmed and blindsided, so let herself be tugged along to a meeting room. Glimmer seemed to know the way. Inside, they all sat down, DT included. Angella arched an eyebrow and they smiled easily, “Like I said. Chaperone.”

“Wise,” mused the woman, then looked at Catra, “In answer… basically, us giving you time to process. And also… to ask your intent.”

Spinnerella excused herself, but paused next to Catra, “I know this is unorthodox, Catra. But I know Angella. I trust her. If you are uncomfortable, however, we can go, now. And I will get HR her for you if you feel we’ve….”

Catra held up her hand and swallowed, then looked at Spinnerella, “You know… I told you and…”

The woman looked guilty, “I know this is a shock. But the change was… today.”

“You could have  _ said _ ,” Catra whined, her teeth clenched, “I’m… this is….”

Angella leaned forwards and nodded, “I know. This is… us helping, Catra.”

“I was going to do something… this is…”

DT gently prodded her, “Queen, you are slow as molasses. This is weird, invasive and a bit creepy but frankly…  _ needed _ .”

Glimmer smiled and nodded, “Look, Catra… this is, I guess… a surprise? BUT. It was the  _ only _ way we could get Adora to… say anything.”

Catra stiffened, “So, what she  _ doesn’t _ want to talk to me?”

Angella patted her daughter’s shoulder, “I know this is unorthodox. But, Catra, there is something you  _ should _ know.”   


Catra felt herself sliding into her whole defensive posture. But, to be honest, she didn’t feel inclined to  _ not _ . They’d ambushed her  _ at work _ . She felt vulnerable in a place where she usually felt  _ strong _ . In control, “Why? You’ve… invaded  _ my _ space.”

Glimmer winced and nodded, “Yeah… and that’s on  _ us _ not Adora.”

“Whatever,” Catra looked away, then back at Glimmer, “I… I am not feeling super happy, right now Sparkles. And not with you either, Spinnerella. I’m… I’m…”

“Isolated, vulnerable, alone, scrutinised?” murmured Angella. Catra flinched, “Indeed. Similar to Adora's start in all of this. And that is… not what we wanted. We  _ wanted _ for you to hear Adora out. To let her speak to you in the way she can. The only way she can.”   


That caught Catra’s attention, “What do you mean?”

“Adora is… a machine,” mused Angella, “Focused. Tenacious. Relentless. But also passionate. Unfortunately she has no boundaries. She pushes herself. She doesn’t  _ stop _ . For anything. She only, really, speaks from the heart when… she’s like that.”

“Remember She-Ra? When she got in the zone before track?” added Glimmer. Catra nodded, “Yeah, well, that’s where all the energy went, after High School. Work. When she’s selling the dream, when she’s  _ fighting _ against some injustice.”   


Angella interjected, “I had supervised the charities, but they came into their own when Adora just… took charge. So young, so impassioned. Her mother, Mara has helped, of course, but, well. Adora is a force of nature.”   


“What’s… the deal with,” Catra swallowed and Glimmer tentatively reached across the table and took Catra’s hand. The cat girl flinched but then relaxed as Glimmer squeezed her hand. She calmed herself as she closed her eyes - they had no bad intentions. There was a  _ reason _ for this. And that reason seemed to be Adora being a shut in or something. Or just… she wanted to show that she was somehow… responsible for something? That she’d done things that Catra hadn’t had the courage to do?

She stewed and looked everywhere in the room but at the others, then huffed.

“The deal with the  _ centres _ ?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes and sighed, then gave a  _ I told you so _ look at her mother. Angella stayed impassive and folded her hands on the table, “Adora…. Well, we got a tip about them. They’re treated as mental health spas that offer… discrete treatments. And we found a list of patients in the reports that were shared with us... Adora was _not_ happy. Rather prioritised the whole thing.”

“Harry, right? He got you it? Somehow?”

Angella quirked an eyebrow and shrugged, “I am not directly involved, I merely sponsor the charities and, as such, it would be imprudent of me to… imply anything about the passage of information to the media or legal authorities.”   


Catra snorted, “Smooth.”

“I’ve had practice, dear.”

“So, why does she care? Another chance to be the hero?”

Angella narrowed her eyes, “Do you cultivate such a low opinion of her, or is it deflection, Catra?” there was a sudden chill to her voice and Catra lowered her eyes.

“I don’t…” she looked away, “I haven’t  _ heard _ from her in years. She doesn’t like, call, and now she’s doing stuff like helping get shitty stuff exposed? And… what?” she felt twitchy, “Am I supposed…”  But her bitterness faded. She couldn’t finish that thought. Her mind showed her that rigid stance. That posture that said  _ fight me _ . The same posture she’d glimpsed in that club. The same posture at High School when someone had stepped over a line, when people, even  _ Hordak _ had gone too far.  Catra sighed, “So… she cares. I  _ know _ she cares. I do. But what does that have to do with me?”

“Darling, for someone who spots patterns, you are really bad at this,” drawled DT next to her, “I want you to work it out, because watching your gears turn is just… fun.”   


“Screw you.”

“Eww no thank you. I’d get fur in my teeth,” they leaned in, “But there’s a blonde I know…”

Catra flushed and Angella looked away clearly trying to hide a grin. Spinnerella, stood by the door hummed and stared at the ceiling. Glimmer went beetroot.

“Anyway, I suppose this is… to both give you a moment to  _ process _ . And for me to understand your intentions. You say she didn't call... but you didn't call _her_. And have made no effort, either... not until recently.” murmured Angella after a moment's awkward pause. Awkward for everyone except DT who just leaned back, pleased with themselves.

“My, um… intentions?” asked Catra cautiously. And a tad guiltily.

“Yes. Adora is… well, as I have tried to explain, she is focused, finds it hard to articulate anything outside of more combative situations. Or work ones.”

“She’s an ice queen, sometimes,” supplied Glimmer, “Well, not  _ ice _ . She’s nice. But… distant.”

Catra tried to match that image with the girl she’d just seen dominate a whole room, flirt with everyone  _ and her _ and … yes she’d flirted with her. Hadn’t she? The eyes, the number? Or… or was it because, as they were all saying, this was the only way Adora could… talk to her?

“So, if we have a heart to heart, it needs to be with powerpoint?” Catra rolled her eyes, “Peachy.”

Angella actually chuckled, “Well, I’d rather not see that presentation….” DT actually nodded and shot a smirk at the woman, “But… not quite. This was the way she could show you something. To make her take that first step that  _ you _ have not.”

Catra balked, “I… I approached Glimmer!”

“Fair response. And Glimmer has done this.”

Ok that… that made sense, “But I… I was expecting….”

“Coffee? A dramatic showdown in the street? Perhaps a drunken brawl?” Angella grimaced, “Though, apparently, that happened already. You are going about this circuitously, Catra.”

“Why are you.. Helping?” she managed, weakly, “I was… a… I did…”

“Did you  _ listen _ to Adora’s words, Catra?” Angella’s voice was gentle. Catra swallowed and thought back to the blur. She’d been slightly distracted by those legs and those  _ arms _ and that  _ neck. _

She had  _ missed _ the sheer physicality of her old friend. Her presence. It was like being indoors for days, then stepping back out into real sunlight.

Cliche, but on the money.

_ Trauma. Pain. Indoctrination. _

_ I realised I had put someone else in that position. Someone who didn’t have the stability, the privileges I had. And, really, who had a lifetime of indoctrination stacked against them. And...I couldn’t help. That bridge had burned. I had to leave someone in pain. Someone who I knew had more to give, but was trapped by their own environment and couldn’t see beyond it. Couldn’t see me, really. _

“She was talking about me… I got… got that,” she trailed off then frowned at Angella, “She’s…  _ guilty _ ?”

Angella hummed and nodded. Glimmer splayed her hands, “Ding ding, Catra wins the prize. All expenses paid dinner for two.”

The brunette shot a glare at the diminutive, pink haired woman, who just grinned back, “What has  _ she _ got to feel guilty about?”

“That, my dear, is a question best pointed at her. As we said, the ball is now in  _ your _ court. Please, do not tarry.”

Angella stood and Glimmer followed but gave Catra a thumbs up. Spinnerella winked at her, then left the room. Catra slumped and groaned at the table. She pounded her head against it for a moment. Then groaned again.

What  _ now _ ? She had work, and this meeting had only been supposed to take a couple of hours and now she had Adora in the building and…

“That whole  _ tarry _ thing means call her now, you disaster lesbian,” drawled DT again, from their chair. Catra started, having forgotten they hadn’t left.

“You’re still here?”

“Duh, front row seats. You going to call, or are we having another pining session this weekend? Because, babe, I hate reruns.”

Catra stared at DT, then looked at the conference phone. If she used that, then Adora wouldn’t have her number and there’d be…

Except Bow and Glimmer had her number so…

But the conference phone meant she could… speak without a phone? That made no sense. But it also meant anyone could hear and….

She hooked her phone from her pocket and entered the number. DT leaned forwards, their mouth open, eager. Catra paused then glared at them, “Go. Away.”

They pouted then winked, “You better press that green button. Or I’ll have a go. Wonder if she has any to-”

“OUT!” Catra tried to hide her blush and the thunder in her chest  _ Adora naked with a… a… strapped around… and… sweat and…. Oh god oh god oh god. _

The door clicked shut and Catra’s thumb hovered over the number. She swallowed. Her brain said  _ don’t _ . Her gut came up  _ terrified _ .

Her heart said  _ Try. _

She pressed.

It rang twice then a voice she’d only heard through a drunken haze most recently, and the veil of terrified rage before that echoed through her phone. The air seemed to still. If the universe had any sense of justice, all other sounds would have vanished. But she could hear the group on the other side of the door, clearly trying  _ not _ to listen in. And failing.

“ _ Adora Grayskull speaking.” _

Catra exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. She tried to empty her mind of thoughts and fears. Recriminations and garbled nonsense. She wanted to launch into an apology, but  _ where _ to start?

Start where they always did, of course. Always had.

“H….hey, Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, let me know what you think!
> 
> Bit of a bitty chapter, lots of hints and INFODUMPING. But hopefully you're getting a picture of the sort of person Adora is, what she DOES.
> 
> She saves. The fucking. Cat. Even when she's too late, she will burn your world. For touching. Catra.
> 
> Anyway, happy thoughts! We're nearly to... something. Not quite the romance but... maybe something close to ;)


	11. A bridge to somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Face to face.
> 
> Call down the thunder, will Catra reap the whirlwind?

_ “Catra?” _

It was not what she’d expected. To be perfectly honest, she wasn’t sure  _ what _ she’d expected. Maybe for Adora to hang up. Or to swear down the phone. To sneer. To laugh. To mumble or bluster.

But not to say her name like a prayer. Not to say it like a reverent whisper. Not for her soft syllables to handle her with such delicacy, such  _ kindness _ .

The voice was one she hadn’t heard  _ properly _ in years, one that hadn’t been directed at her alone since  _ that _ day. The presentation didn’t count - businesslike, harsh, cocky, that was Adora that everyone else saw - an echo of her track days, or of when she planted herself, hands on hips, between a towering bully and some poor unfortunate. Those steel blue eyes holding defiance and an air of  _ go on, try me _ .

The Adora who threw herself, headlong, into a brawl for  _ others _ . A voice that held command and brooked no argument. A face that charmed and smiled but had a rod of iron beneath. That was the Adora that everyone knew. The Adora who seemed to be the  _ only _ version anyone knew these days, it seemed.

No one knew the worried girl from their teens, who’d been overwhelmed by choices of the future. Who’d held Catra’s hand in the rain under the bleachers after a particularly  _ nasty _ time with Catra’s mom. The Adora who’d had a gap-tooth in Elementary school and ignored the teasing because it meant people left Catra alone for her mismatched eyes. Those cold blue eyes became so kind, so caring around Catra. That rod of iron became a shield for her.

And when… when Adora had turned to Catra for support, what had happened? When Adora was her most vulnerable? Not like when in the first few years of High School when she’d sprained an ankle and Catra had helped her to the nurse’s office, mocking her the whole way; not like when she’d had to give Adora a ride because the goof had run to school and it had poured down.

No, not the  _ little _ things. No when Adora had come to her with a  _ big _ thing, what had Catra, her  _ best friend _ , her oldest ally, her supposed  _ true companion against the world _ , done?

She’d thrown it in her face, as the fear, the words in her soul branded there by her mother, rose to the surface. The hate that, with hindsight, she knew wasn’t at Adora, but her  _ jealousy _ of Adora - that the girl could be truth about herself when Catra could not. For the truth was, Catra had recognised the unspoken  _ look _ in Adora’s eyes that day. The second admission that Adora, still trying to be  _ kind _ , hadn’t broached.

It was a look Catra knew because she’d  _ always _ looked at Adora  _ that _ way, deep down. A longing. A yearning. A  _ prayer _ of  _ please be mine _ .

Something that could never be for Catra. And, as long as Adora had been….  _ Normal _ then Catra never had to address it, address her own fears, her own stagnation and life enmeshed by her family’s toxic beliefs.

But then Adora had told her. And Catra hadn’t waited, hadn’t listened, hadn’t  _ been there _ . She’d burned it all down, tried to… to preserve an idea of herself that wasn’t her own idea at all.

And Adora still said her name like it was something  _ sacred _ ?

A lump formed in her throat and she gasped. It was that day, all over again. Those heartbroken blue eyes. The guarded look.

_ “Catra?” _

_ “You… you’re joking right….?” _

She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to purge the memory. It forced its way to the front.

“ _ I’m not. I wanted to…” _

_ “No. NO! You… you don’t understand Adora. They’ll… they’ll fucking tear you apart if you…” _

_ “We’re going! We’re LEAVING this town! What does it matter? I can’t be something I’m not.” _

_ “And what about ME? Huh? How do… do you think people will look at ME when they find out I’m best friends with a dy-” _

NO! Catra shoved the memory away. She knew how it spiraled from there. Knew how Adora had closed down, but Catra had just kept attacking as her panic had spread. And then Catra had run and Adora had… followed. The idiot had still followed. And then Catra had made it  _ worse _ . The screaming, the accusations, the… it was too much.

Her vision tunneled and she tried to breathe. Her gaze was drawn to the phone.

“ _ Catra?” _ her voice. Still so full of tentative worry.  _ WHY? _

“A...Adora. I… I’m… It’s…” she sucked a breath that came out as a coughed sob, “I’m  _ sorry _ … for  _ everything _ . I…. I don’t you… I don’t matter, I know, it’s just I know I...”

The phone was making strange sounds. Muffled rustles, a crack of wood. It was surreal. Maybe Adora had thrown her phone away in disgust. That would make sense. Catra sagged against the table as the memories proceeded to pile onto her. Her suit was stained with tears and she tried to push herself up, but all her strength was gone.

The conference room door swung open and Catra shrunk back slightly.

Blue eyes locked onto her. A whimper died in Catra’s throat as the vision in white advanced towards her, fists balled and face set in  _ something _ . She could just make out frightened faces peering around the door and suddenly Adora was  _ there _ and…

Catra was enveloped in a hug so tight it almost hurt. She felt Adora thread fingers over her shoulder and around her waist. Catra’s sob choked out and she exhaled.

“You matter to  _ me _ ,” Adora’s voice, next to her ear. Her breath in her hair. Her friend, her oldest, dearest friend,  _ right there _ .

Catra flung her arms around the blonde in return and clung to her like her life depended on it. Her sobs came freely, not choked, but tinged with some sense of relief and release. Her claws dug into Adora’s suit but didn’t pierce the fabric and her tail wound around Adora’s waist in return. She wanted to bury herself in the girl, lose herself for the years  _ wasted _ not seeing her. Part of her mind knew it wasn’t  _ quite _ a healthy response, but frankly she didn’t give a shit.

She had missed Adora. So much. Even when she’d blamed her, been angry, been nothing but a vessel of poisonous resentment she’d still missed the kindest woman she’d ever known, the first person she’d ever call on a bad day and a good day.

What that meant for her present state of mind, she had no idea.

She didn’t know how long they sat there, Adora knelt on the floor with Catra hunched in her chair. They clung to each other as Catra’s tears faded and she felt  _ drained _ . But better. Adora rubbed gentle, soothing strokes on Catra’s back and… she began to purr. For the first time in a  _ long _ time, she actually purred. It made her laugh in surprise, which did strange things to the vibrations.

Adora pulled back and arched a dark eyebrow at her, “Hey.”

Catra swallowed, “Hey,”

Blue eyes searched hers and the blonde’s smile was genuine. But also nervous. Oh no, was she… was she still scared of Catra?

“So, shall we… go grab a coffee? I um, I think… I think we should talk  _ now _ , not put this off?”

Catra felt a lead weight settle in her stomach but it couldn’t find purchase for long as those blue eyes regarded her and that faint smile played on Adora’s lips. Part of her wanted to chalk this up as  _ progress _ and run. But then what? And what good would running do? She’d run before and Adora had just followed - and it’d then made things worse. Catra wouldn’t do  _ the escalation _ again, but if she ran this time, would Adora follow?

And did she really REALLY want to play that game?

No. Like with all the others, she needed to see this through to the end.

She managed a nod and Adora stood. Her movements were measured, graceful. Catra followed and felt stupidly clumsy by comparison. Except Adora’s eyes tracked her every movement, scrutinising her carefully. With one hand, Catra brushed her hair back over her ears and swallowed. Adora blinked and flushed faintly, then beckoned to her.

She led them out of the room and Catra found the corridor  _ suspiciously _ empty. A thought clicked, “How’d you know where… um…?”

Adora chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck, “Oh… um, I was with Netossa. She mentioned where you were and… well, I kind of just ran for it, y’know?”

Catra studied her, “No… I don’t know…”

“Well, ha! Just um… just get the building to bill me for any broken locks, or glass or… ANYWAY, coffee, yes,  _ coffee _ .”

She took Catra to the elevators and Catra noticed, in passing, the dented door frame of the fire escape stairwell.  _ Huh _ .

The cafeteria was deserted and Adora led Catra to a booth, where she gestured for her to sit, “And don’t move… please?”

The combination of the words, the suddenly faintly nervous air around the statuesque blonde and the  _ delivery _ nailed Catra to her chair.  _ Tell me what to do again, please _ , part of her brain supplied, rather unhelpfully.

Getting rather ahead of herself, she knew.

Adora vanished to the counter, but kept glancing over at Catra, as if afraid of… not  _ of _ her, Catra realised. Not of Catra herself.

But that, maybe, Catra wouldn’t  _ stay? _

That, officially, sent her brain into a dead end of speculation because she couldn’t correlate all the information. It all  _ indicated _ Adora  _ cared _ . Which just made no damn sense. Yes Adora was selfless to a fault, or she  _ had _ been back in high school. But her charity work was for  _ everyone _ \- it was general, broad, societal. Applying that to an individual, especially one who’d basically been the root cause of several clear issues AND seemed to be on paper a fairly good exemplar of a lot of the things Adora stood against?

It made no sense. Well, yes, Catra  _ wasn’t _ those things anymore - not a bigot, not some selfish monster… not as much anyway. And definitely the L in LGBT. DEFINITELY.

She blinked as a coffee cup was placed in front of her, “I um… I’m not up to speed with your, uh, latest likes. But, um… latte? Probably best to keep the caffeine count down a  _ little.” _

“Could be worse… could be drinking!” managed Catra. Adora’s smile shifted to a faintly cocky set.

“What, want me to beat up some more guys?”

Catra blinked then cackled. Actually  _ cackled _ , her throaty laugh a rasp, “Wow… wow. Dark.”

Adora shrugged, “Girl’s gotta get some exercise.”

“Join a gym.”

“They object if you punch staff.”

“Do that often?”

“Only twice.”

Catra leaned forwards, “Wow, really?”

“One tried to grab my ass. The other tried to help his friend  _ after _ said friend tried to grab my ass.”

“Well, can you blame…” Catra coughed and blinked. Where had  _ that _ come from? She a) hadn’t seen Adora’s ass. Not since high school locker room times. And b)  _ flirting _ ? REALLY?

Adora leaned back in her chair and tilted her head. Her gaze studied Cata and it made the cat-girl suddenly nervous.

“I’m making you nervous.”

Catra jolted forwards, “NO! But… yes? But not because… but…” she face palmed and dragged it down across her eyes, “Ugh, crying messes my brain up.”

The blonde made a confirmatory hum, “So, why?”

“Uh, what?”

“Why do I make you nervous?” Catra peered at Adora. The blonde had her arms crossed loosely, her head tilted to one side. She looked  _ different.  _ Poised.

Professional.

It was like a wall had gone up and Catra didn’t like it. Was this what the others had meant? It actually annoyed her slightly and she opened her mouth to… say what?

_ Hey, what's with the attitude? Yeah I know I emotionally traumatised you when we were kids, but that’s no reason to clam up now! _

And really, wasn’t she evading the question. She closed her eyes and drew a breath and nodded slowly, “Because… I’m scared. Because this is… is  _ big _ . And It is difficult and I don’t want to say anything that makes it worse.”

“Makes what worse?”

Catra blinked and looked up at Adora. The blonde’s face had softened now. Not as poised. Interested. Which was itself interesting. Had she withdrawn because she was… scared of overwhelming  _ Catra _ ?

That couldn’t be it. Could it? The thoughts frittered away and Catra licked her lips nervously then put her hands on the table, fingers laced tightly together.

“You uh… take some concussion over the years? You know… little thing… High School. Me, um, basically being a walking trashfire and... “ she closed her eyes and her throat bobbed as the memories threatened to overwhelm. Her voice was hoarse, “I was a  _ monster _ Adora. I was… I was…. You have every right to hate me and I don’t want you to… hate me more so I’m just shit scared of…”

“I never hated you.”

Catra’s eyes shot open, “H...huh?”

Adora made a face, “Well, I was… I was  _ really _ hurt, Catra. Gutted,” those ice blue eyes locked on her and it was like a freaking  _ laser _ , “And yes… I was angry. But… that wasn’t  _ you _ .”

Catra spread her hands and nearly knocked her coffee over, “ _ What _ ? _ Adora I… I _ OUTED you to the school, I fucking dragged your name through the mud! I’m  _ scum _ . I’m…”

“Shut up Catra,” Catra shut up and sat back. The words had been delivered softly, but with a  _ glare _ . She felt chastised to her  _ core _ . Adora studied her for a moment then sipped her coffee. The moment dragged and the blonde relaxed a little more, “Yeah it was shit. And I ran - I couldn’t face the school, my peers. But y;know what was the  _ worst _ ?”

Catra shook her head, “Um… no?”

“The look on  _ your _ face. How  _ frightened _ you were. That terror… it only registered, really, y’know… a week later? After I’d nearly torn up most of our pictures and was about to throw a bunch of stuff in the trash.”

That made Catra flinch. So she’d been willing to toss their history away huh, show…  _ stop it. YOU were in the wrong. She was entitled to be angry _ . So she managed a faint nod, “I mean… I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“And they say I have a martyr complex,” snorted Adora. She looked out the window and smiled faintly, “But… yeah…. Weirdly it was  _ that _ that pushed me. I got out of hicksville, Glimmer’s mom did a tonne of stuff and… well, turned the town around. I won’t deny… the place is a shithole and I won’t go back there ever again. Some things… some things I won’t forgive.”

Catra hunched and her soul chilled, “O-oh.”

Adora continued, “Yeah, the town officials were all over Pride, the changes, all that. But there was nothing… genuine about it. Winning votes. The school saw a class action lawsuit heading their way and tried to curb it,” Adora’s smirk bordered on the malicious, “Got a few scalps on that little run. And it did mean we could start building a case against…  _ him _ .”

The words were a drone to Catra.  _ She doesn’t forgive me. She doesn’t forgive me. Oh I have fucked up beyond…. _

Hands took hers and she flinched, her eyes back on Adora’s. The blonde stared at her, “Lost you there.”

“Y...eyah. I… I should. Go. I should go. Because…”

Adora’s grip tightened, “No. Sit.  _ Listen _ . Because this is… hard for me too,” the voice was entreating. Catra whimpered and shook her head.

“Why Adora? I mean, I hurt you and… and I don’t deserve forgiveness and you aren’t going to give it to me and  _ I know _ I said… I said to everyone I would… I would let you just do whatever but I’m I’m I’m NOT strong enough I…”   


“Forgive you?” Adora laughed faintly, “For… what?”

The words were like a slap and Catra slumped back. She shrugged several times. “For.. .for….”

“For parroting the words of your mom? Catra, if you were the  _ same _ person now as then… yeah we’d be throwing down.”

Catra couldn’t help herself, her nerves making her smile punch through, “Huh… I could totally take you.”

Adora arched an eyebrow, “Girl, I carried you through a bar  _ and _ broke four linebackers.”

“Psch. One linebacker and three dweebs.”

“Four more than you,” Adora swallowed, “Thank fuck.”

Catra nodded slowly, “I uh… I never said thanks.”

“Oh I heard,” Adora blushed immediately and pulled her hands back, “um.”

That drew a slow blink from Catra and she tilted her head, “How?”

“Uhh… I was with Scorpia and Perfuma…”

“Wh- _ what _ ?” Catra was mortified, “So you… heard and… what… and?”

“I’m sorry! I… I wanted to make sure you were ok. And then you were on the call and Perfuma kept trying to make me talk to you and, well, it was  _ super _ awkward. And I didn’t know if you wanted to, as you seemed pretty into… well.. They person you were with and…

Catra blinked as several lines of thought tried to enter the station at once, “I mean… ok? I probably should feel angry but I’m mainly embarrassed?”

“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you I was there when you called Glimmer and…?”

“Fucking  _ end me right now _ , Adora,” Catra sank in her seat and bit her knuckles. She stared at the girl, “You… heard… that?”

Adora smiled and sighed, “In my defence, I ran out of the room once you started… confessing.”   
  
Catra’s groan was deep and  _ heartfelt _ . She wanted the floor to swallow her. She was too fucking  _ tired _ for this. But… but like she’d said, she owed Adora and well…

“Earth to Catra, ding ding?”

“G’way. I’m dying here. Leave me. I wish to be buried with the gravestone of  _ Fucking idiot, crushed by her own shame _ .”

“No chance, those places charge by the word. I’ll just get  _ doofus _ engraved on it.”

Catra opened an eye and saw the  _ fondness _ in Adora’s expression. She slid back upright and cringed, “Seriously, though Adora… I mean, I…”

“In my defence, you called them. Not planned. And… I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“You could have called!”

Adora met her eyes and shrugged, “So could you. Instead you seem to have spoken to everyone  _ but  _ me.”

Catra opened her mouth then closed it, then shuffled herself. She marshalled her thoughts and nodded, “You’re… you were my best friend. I didn’t know how to reach you… and…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “I hadn’t exactly made the best impression after… when…”

Adora leaned forwards, “The emails?”

“Yes,” squeaked Catra. She looked at Adora sideways, “You read them.”

It wasn’t a question. Adora sighed and nodded. Catra blew a breath out and hunched over. But Adora’s hand reached across the table and gripped hers, “It just… confirmed a lot of things to me.”

“...what?” Catra felt very  _ very _ vulnerable. Not because she’d laid her heart on the line or anything, but because, well, she had no  _ retreat _ . No moral highground. Adora stared at her.

“Yeah, they were cruel. Petty. Angry. I get worse from trolls on Twitter these days though. Catra, you aren’t  _ good _ with insults or aggression when you’re angry. You lash… you  _ used _ to lash out. Sorry, talking as if I still know you,” Catra lurched and gripped Adora’s hand with her open, grasping it between both of hers. She had no words, but that last line of the blonde’s had  _ cored _ her. Adora smiled faintly, “But those emails… just confirmed you were… invested? Maybe angry but still… I don’t know what the right words are. Shitty for a consultant to have no ready phrases to throw at you right?”

Catra snorted, “Use the word synergy I will gut someone.”

“We’re agreed there. No blue sky thinking either.”   


Catra let out a theatrical groan and Adora giggled. It warmed her better than the coffee ever could, “Please, gods,  _ no _ .”

“Alright. So, yeah. I read them. They hurt. Mara helped me… understand a lot of this though. She was angry at you…. Yeah. But she was mostly angry at the  _ world _ . And your mom.”

“It was still  _ me _ though Adora… still… me…”

“And you tried to apologise. It’s all you’ve  _ done _ for the past two weeks. To everyone,” Adora leaned forward, “Am I that really that intimidating?”

Catra met her gaze and saw that old goofy half smile. She sniffled and half shrugged and half nodded, “You know… I almost… wanted you to hate me. Vindicate  _ something _ . I don’t deser-"

Adora’s grin vanished, “Don’t you  _ dare _ Catra. You want me angry, I can be angry. I will be angry. But I will be angry at the  _ right _ people. Like Prime. Like your mom. Why do you think Hordak and I are talking? ACTIONS… ACTIONS Catra. So much better than words.”

Adora’s thumb scraped over Catra’s knuckles and she reveled in the faint touch. So many questions, though. So many. She deflected with one.

“What… what’s with the crusade against Harry’s dad then?”

Adora smiled again and tilted her head, “I said I was angry at the world. Or Mara was? I guess… I guess I didn’t… I…” Adora slumped back and exhaled through her nose. Her grip on Catra’s hand tightened and she met her eyes, “I never wanted anyone to look at someone else… the way you looked at me. Scared. Terrified to their core. Filled with disgust.”

“I...I’m..”

Adora squeezed her hand again and smiled, “It was a  _ learned _ thing, Catra. And… I know it was partly internalised.”

Catra’s smile was watery and her eyes were blurry with tears, “When the hell did you get so smart, Greyskull?”

“Night classes. No College degree getting in the way.”

Catra snorted and couldn’t help but laugh, “Snark too… jeez, Adora…”

“Eh, gotta keep in the game. Keeps the ladies entertained,” Catra flushed with a  _ different _ emotion then.

Jealousy.

She coughed, “So… hum… how… how’s that going. Got a Mrs Greyskull…”

Adora stared at her then hunched and snorted. Her head lolled back and she laughed. It was a free, giggling  _ chuckle _ with snorts all the way through. She slapped the table then leaned forwards and tried to straighten her face. She failed. Spectacularly. “Mrs… GREYSKULL? Fuck am I…? A math teacher? A DOMINATRIX?”

Catra stared at her, nonplussed but couldn’t help her own chuckle as it bubbled up, “W...with extra beatings for poor PowerPoints?”

“You...you’ve been a naughty girl! USE EXCEL WITHOUT MACROS!” giggled Adora.

“Oh hurt me more! Cackled Catra. Adora eyed her and snorted.

“Nah, you’re a consultant, you’d get off on… on that…”

Catra giggled again, “Isn’t that the  _ point _ ?”

“What, you want me to get you off?” Adora quirked an eyebrow and Catra coughed suddenly, spluttering with embarrassment. Adora fell back again, cackling with glee. It brought a genuine smile to Catra’s face.

And still Adora hadn’t let go of her hand.

Eventually the blonde calmed down and wiped the tears away from her eyes, “Hoooo…. Hooo, oh-kay. I’m… I’m good now. Hoooooo. Right so… yeah. NO. No ahem.. Mrs… Adora,” she snickered again but held it in, “Been a couple of girlfriends buuut… they don’t like the job.”

Catra settled for some reason, pacified. She’d analyse  _ that _ response later, “Moral crusader not sexy enough for them?”

“They didn’t like having to go in my work calendar. And… they were never really a priority. Not much is,” Adora shrugged, “Goes back to your other question… Harry’s dad. He’s one of a few we’ve been helping agencies, other charities, individuals build cases against. People like him don’t respond to moral arguments or reason. They get hit in their bottom line. So… yeah, my focus is that.”

“So. You know about…”

“About the  _ facility _ ?” Adora’s voice was like ice for a moment and her gaze was in the middle distance. Her grip on Catra’s hand tightened for a moment, “Yeah…. I know. And… and seeing your name on that list. On… And I wasn’t  _ there _ .”

Catra felt stunned. Adora looked  _ grief _ stricken. Absolutely devastated. It left her at a complete loss, “Adora… Adora? I… why? What?”

The blonde’s laser focus was back, “I  _ left _ you Catra. At their mercy. I couldn’t  _ save _ you.”

Catra bridled a little at that, “Hey… I did ok!” she snapped, “I got OUT and… and,,” she exhaled, “It wasn’t on you to  _ fix _ Adora. I had burned our bridge and then…. Realised, y’know. And my  _ mom _ did that….” Adora closed her eyes and her hand began to pull back. Catra’s  _ own _ grip tightened, unwilling to let this contact end. The blonde opened her eyes and Catra met her gaze, “You… you can’t superhero everything.”

“I lost you Catra. I dumped my whole….  _ Sexuality _ on you. SUDDENLY. At SCHOOL. And expected you to just… be cool? And then I wasn’t there during a really fucking  _ horrible _ part of your life. And then… in the club... “

Catra recognised this. It was  _ so  _ familiar. It was just really weird to see a spiral from the outside for once. She yanked Adora’s arm and the girl blinked, “Shut. Up. Yourself. Look, Adora… let me be accountable, ok? LET ME. I did a fucking  _ bad thing _ . Don’t let me off. Yeah, forgive me if you  _ have _ to. But let me HAVE it. Because otherwise I DON’T CHANGE. I get off, thinking it’s  _ not _ my fault. That it excuses any  _ other _ shitty behaviour. I’m only better  _ because _ I went through that and  _ know _ I did bad. And the facility… that place, fucked up as it is… reminded me I was on the wrong side.”   


Adora met her gaze and exhaled loudly. She studied Catra’s face, eyes slightly narrowed, then nodded, “That’s… fair.”

“Good… I mean not good if you still think I’m an ass.”

“You’re totally an ass,” smirked the blonde, though the smile was fainter, “But… yeah. I guess, what I’m trying to say is… that place, the information we got given.… it just  _ galvanised _ a lot of feelings. Made me angry and helpless.”

“I… I can sympathise. How do you think I’ve felt? NOT a sympathy plea, by the way but… yeah. I… I wasn’t able to fix  _ this _ ,” she gestured between the two of them and Adora’s smile seemed to brighten, “And… and I felt so trapped. And College wasn’t what I wanted it to be because... “

She shuddered and realised the thought there was  _ too big _ . Too big for right now. Adora leaned forward, putting herself back into Catra’s eyeline, “So.”

“So?”

“So… what is…. This?” she gestured between them, a mirror to Catra’s expression. It made Catra feel nervous all over.

“I um… I just wanted to apologise and… and….”

She half expected Adora to pull away. Affronted? Or irritated? But the blonde just held her gaze and spoke carefully, “And?”

“And I didn’t want to hope… I mean.. I mean  _ assume _ , y’know? I was expecting… fireworks? Maybe to get punched. I didn't expect us to be, like, friends again.”

Adora hummed, her face thoughtful, “I mean, a week  _ after _ , I’d have done that. Both barrels. I  _ could _ indulge your very obvious guilt complex.”

Catra glared at her but couldn’t quite muster the heat, “Low blow.”

“Take the shots where I find them. We have catching up to do.”   


That sent a thrill through Catra. She stuttered a sigh out and worked her jaw. And still part of her brain felt this was  _ too easy _ . That she deserved to be yelled at, castigated,  _ crucified _ for her past, “You… you don’t know me. Don’t  _ owe _ me…”

“But I’d  _ like _ to, Catra.”

Again, her name, said like a promise, a prayer. Said with  _ kindness _ . Catra closed her eyes, “Your own guilt complex getting in the way, Adora?”

Push her away, that made sense on some level. Keep everyone away. She  _ deserved _ it. But Adora just laughed, amused slightly. Catra opened her eyes and stared at her. The blonde huffed a heavy sigh.

“Maybe. But… you called me,” she tilted her head to one side and regarded Catra, “Tell you what, I promise I won’t stab myself in the gut over… letting you down. And you stop listening to that voice in  _ your _ head. If I get angry… I’ll tell you. If I feel resentment  _ I’ll tell you _ . If I start to  _ dislike you _ . I will tell you. BUT…. you have to do the same. Be  _ honest _ Catra. With me. With yourself. Because…” she ran her thumb over Catra’s knuckles gently, “Because I want to get to know you again. I never reached out because I thought… I thought you loathed me. And that I couldn’t make you like me again. Yeah, crap wording I know, but I thought we were lost. And then you start talking to people. But  _ not me _ . So I thought I didn’t matter… but then… then I hear you’re scared of me? And… I got confused. So… no more dodging, evading and just  _ assuming _ ok?”

Catra stared at Adora. She was, to put it bluntly, a bit taken aback. Adora had always been forthright. A heart on her sleeve sort of person. Yeah, she got flustered, or distracted. But this older version of Adora was like a freaking  _ bulldozer. _ She met those blue eyes and exhaled.

“I… I think I can do that. And… I was angry at you, too. Full disclosure. It was shitty and unjustified but… I blamed you for wrecking it. It went to shit for me and that  _ isn’t _ a complaint. I deserved that localised retribution. I  _ did _ . Because I rode high on what I did. I was a shit, Adora. A class A fucking asshole. And I felt guilty but I ignored it for the buzz. So… yeah. That anger followed me until I realised… I was just  _ sad _ . It wasn’t anger, really. It was guilt.”

Adora nodded slowly, “That’s… fine. I can understand that. Just don’t do something like that again. Please? I feel like I just got my friend back. Maybe. And… I don’t think I can deal with that happening again.”

Catra met her gaze and felt the word bubble in her throat. She didn’t blurt it out - it needed to be measured, considered. Adora had forgiven her prior transgression, yes. But she knew it had hurt and… if it happened again then that was it. She would be  _ done _ . And with how fragile all this still felt, it might not take all that much, even with Adora’s patented ability to see the good in most things. She smiled, warmly and with more conviction now the waves of turmoil seemed to have passed by, “I promise.”

Adora nodded, satisfied, “Good. For a first step, I think this was… pretty good?”

The cat girl couldn’t help but grin, but it faltered, “So… what next?”

She watched as the blonde leaned back and smirked, her voice teasing, “Hey. I gave you my number.”

“And I called!”

“And I bought you a coffee. So, next date’s on you.”

Catra blinked, “D...date?”

Adora met her stare then blanched, “I mean… I didn’t even ask if you…”

“NO! No, very clear, no one. Nuh uh. Nope, completely clear, completely. But. Um…”

The blonde smirked again, “Completely huh? Alright… yeah date’s a loaded word. Catch up…”

_ No, date is fine. Date is good. I can go with date. _

“Catch up. Yeah.”

Adora’s smile felt like it warmed the room, “Then it’s a date… or  _ not _ a date. I’ll leave the details to  _ you _ . Your terms. Your turf, whatever.”

She looked about to leave and Catra felt Adora’s hand slip away. She lunged again and gripped it, “Uh… um.. I’m… I’m not…. Ready.”

“Ready to go?” Adora’s voice was soft, quiet.

“Ready to stop… talking. Can… Can we keep… talking?”

Adora nodded slowly, “As long as you need.”

Catra could have cried. Could have just vaulted the table to hug the other woman. What had she done to deserve this kindness? Regardless she wasn’t going to waste it.

Outside, the sun began to creep towards the horizon, whilst in the corporate cafetiera, two souls reconnected and began that slow, tentative work of cleaning wounds, to let them heal over. To tentatively bare the soul, even slightly, to just let the truth breathe for a moment.

A start, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS EVER: Comments to feed my gnarled soul. I think this works quite well. Maybe a bit dialogue heavy, a bit repetitive, but hey, they're working through shit.
> 
> Let me know ;)
> 
> I mean... I COULD end it here.
> 
> I COULD.
> 
> But.... yeah that's too open ended. I COULD end it here and do a sequel buuuut... not sure how much mileage i'd get.
> 
> No, we're going into "Oh look, Adora's got issues too!" territory. Honestly, maybe a few more chapters, not a whole arc.
> 
> ALSO - Catra's internal subconscious throughout all this, every time Adora uses The Voice:
> 
> Top me Top me Top me   
> Top me Top me Top me  
> Top me Top me Top me  
> Top me Top me Top me  
> Top me Top me Top me  
> Top me Top me Top me


	12. Cascades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Razz leads to some introspection.
> 
> An exchange with Adora leads to something else.

“I’m not quite seeing the problem dearie.”

Catra leaned on her elbows and rested her forehead in her hands and let out a sigh that stretched out for what felt like  _ minutes _ , “It’s just… y’know,  _ what now _ ?”

Razz, sat in her wicker chair opposite the cat-girl, smiled and blinked behind her large glasses. Catra’s therapist was a series of slight contradictions - crazy hair that looked like she’d been through a wind-tunnel, yet a smart dress and blazer; massive glasses that enhanced her piercing stare; a therapy room with neat seats and a small coffee table, but shelves overflowing with myriad nick-nacks and junk.

It was effective, though; the first time Catra had been sat in here, she’d been so distracted by the weird assortment of trinkets, she’d actually opened up about a few sore points. Mainly because Razz’s topic changes intermingled with her razor-sharp astute questions threw you for a loop on top as well.

“Now? Now you move forward.”   


“But. Y’know… it’s  _ done _ , right? I’ve… I’ve done it. It’s all good, all forgiven, and…” Catra voice creaked and she licked her lips.

“And?”

“And, well… I thought that’d be it? Like, all good, feel better, we can all move on?”

Razz’s eyebrow arched above the rim of her spectacles, “Did you really want that? Think that?”

“Well, I…. I didn’t think I’d… I didn’t  _ think _ she’d want to forgive me.”

“So, what was this?”

Catra stared down at her hands, “...punishment.”

Razz hummed, “And we come back to you, do we not? This sense of value, of worth, of  _ not being worthy _ .”

The cat-girl regarded her therapist and nodded. Her throat moved and she shrugged, “It’s been…. A week. And we’ve texted and, well, it’s  _ weird _ . Like, nothing’s happened. I mean, as if nothing happened, back then at school? It just feels too easy. Too simple.”

“But was it? You still had to face your fears. Faced the people from your past. Consider from their perspective - you could have stayed away, not engaged. But you did this, dearie. You spent time to  _ create _ something.”

Catra scoffed, “Yeah, after she literally  _ saved _ me too.”   


“And what does  _ that _ tell you?”

“That’s she’s still the saviour, puts-people-first idiot. That….”

“That she  _ cares _ .”

Catra sniffled suddenly, “But I don’t  _ want _ that.”

"Oh?"

"Like... she _cares_ in a general way. That talk showed that. She just... gives. And I'm part of that..."

"Ah," The room became very quiet, until Razz spoke very slowly, “So, if you were to be honest, what would you want?”

“I don’t  _ know _ ! I don’t. Like, romance? WHY?! I don’t  _ know _ her anymore. She doesn’t know  _ me _ . Part of me wanted to… to wipe the slate clean, maybe… be friends? Or maybe have her be angry so… so… It's... it's _old_ Adora I want. Want that _back_. A do-over, y'know?"”

Razz nodded, then slid a box of tissues over the table. Catra dabbed her eyes then blew into the tissue noisily. Razz watched her for a moment, “What do we do with pies, Catra?”

“Um… huh?”

“When we break the eggs, mix it all up, make the pastry? What is that?”

“Uh, like… we’re building something.”

“Yes, by destroying  _ other _ things. Those broken pieces all come together to create something new. You were a cracked egg. Not useless, not  _ wrong _ , just awaiting your next step.”

Catra snorted, “What, you’re saying I was on the verge of being  _ scrambled _ .”

Razz grinned, “Well you were almost poached in that bar, dearie.”

“Oof, low blow, lady.”

“Eh, you dish it out, learn to take it. Maybe Adora can help with that?” Razz grinned broadly and Catra flushed, “Anyway, my point is, when we bake, we break. Things are taken apart and pushed together to make something greater. And you have made a pie worthy of admiration. You have taken those disparate ingredients and done wonders. BUT… what do we do with a pie when we have made it?”   


That stumped Catra; it seemed obvious. But Razz couldn’t be being literal, right?   
  
“Are you suggesting I… eat Adora?” 

Razz guffawed, “Your words dearie. You know her best.”

“Sh...shut up. NOT what I meant!” Catra flailed and sank down in her plush chair, “You’re the  _ worst _ .”

“No, raw mushroom pie is the worst. NO Catra, what we do with a pie… is we  _ enjoy _ it. We share it. And we learn from it. To make more, to change the recipe, to improve things. But we ENJOY what we have made. No pie is the _same, no matter_ how closely we follow a recipe. But it will taste similar, it will evoke the same memories, the same nostalgia.”

Catra spread her arms, “Ok! So, what… what does that  _ mean _ ?”

“What, dearie, did you expect a grand confession, a sunset and then… what? A line of credits to roll? BAH! Life is not a neat little story. It is moments, threaded together. It is  _ magic _ , how we see and learn and understand others. Yes, she has changed... but this is still your old friend.And how we  _ grow _ . Remember our early sessions - there is no  _ swift _ path to the end.”   


“Yeah, I know. It’s a step at a time. Each step is a lesson, but not a shackle,” Catra relaxed as the soothing mantra ran through her head. To live is to learn. To learn is to grow. Your past did not dictate your future.

“Exactly. You have  _ learned _ a lot and had to  _ unlearn _ a lot more. And we’re still working on that sense of  _ worth _ Catra. And people believe you have it. This Adora… she went to your business, made a performance  _ for _ you. Is that so different from _old_ Adora, as you call her?”

“And that’s what I don’t GET! Why? I  _ hurt _ her. Badly. But… but it’s like she barely remembers…”

Razz peered at her, “And you  _ want _ her to remember?”

Catra shuffled, “Not… like that? It’s weird. But, when I did the thing, it… had an impact. I  _ mattered _ in a sick way.”   


“You didn’t matter to her before?”

She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. She folded her arms across her chest and huffed, “I don’t  _ know _ . I thought I didn’t. No... that's not true. I _knew_ I mattered, but she was always so friendly with everyone else."

"jealousy is a natural emotion, Catra. We have touched on this."

"Yeah, I know. But... it wasn't _good_ then. How she spoke with Glimmer, how she met other people. I felt sidelined, even when she went out of her way _for_ me. I wasn't _grateful_. I was _entitled_."

Razz nodded sympathetically, "But you _recognise_ those emotions. So, you know you mattered. Surely, if I may suggest it, this is just another action that proves you _still_ matter."

"Maybe. But... then she confessed at school, about being gay and then… then the way she looked at me. I  _ think _ it meant something and… maybe that’s why I’m not sure what to do next? Because I… screwed up so bad? What if I ruined my chance to be with… _her,_ ” a weight shifted in Catra's chest and she sniffled, "I think she loved me. But... that was a _lot_. Like, she didn't SAY it, I don't think she... would have? Adora wasn't that dense. I guess it's one thing to come out, another to then just vomit up your feelings for someone."

She trailed off and Razz clapped her hands, “The meat of the issue!”   


“I swear if you make a pie related comment.”

“Hardly.”

“Good.”   


“More of the jam filling in a doughnut. NOW, we have circled around  _ this _ for a long time. I would like to explore those feelings.”

“WHAT feelings?” Catra hugged herself tighter then took a breath and released. She leant back in the chair and nodded, “Fine…  _ those _ feelings. Which don’t  _ matter _ .”

Razz sighed, then said, “And why not?”

“Ship’s sailed. That’s… that’s why I kinda just want to  _ move on _ y’know?”

The look she got from her therapist was so flat she could have used it to draw on, “I do not believe that. You conflate the old Adora with this supposed _new_ one. Then you talk about running away. And I do not believe you would be  _ able _ to. Not without me doubling the number of sessions to deal with it.”

“Hey!”

“I call it as I see it dearie. You pay me for truth, not catering guidance or to blow sugar in your face. No, if you believe that and you are still thinking in terms of  _ punishment _ for yourself, what better way to fulfill that than by building a  _ friendship _ with Adora? Repair, rediscover. See if she is indeed oh-so-different?”

“But… the…”

“You were the one who said you thought it was too easy, no? Well, if you  _ want _ to test that, test your own belief, then why not stick around? Because it is clear your work life and personal life are now enmeshed. Your alternative is  _ leaving _ again, correct?”

Catra flinched, “Well, I could… like… let her down gently?”

“Mhm… Mhm, yes yes you could. So, walk me through how that would go?”

She opened her mouth to reply and she ran through the various options.  _ Hey Adora, so, glad we patched that up, but gonna need you to leave me alone. Hey Adora, so, yeah, know I’ve ignored your texts and calls, buuuuutt. Hey Adora, why is Glimmer standing outside my apartment with an axe? _

She slumped, but she didn’t  _ feel _ depressed or defeated. Wasn’t she a little bit  _ excited _ ?

Truthfully, she’d wanted a reason not to, to have someone say to her why this was a  _ bad idea _ and that it would go horribly wrong. DT had said that they expected Catra to get laid within the month; Glimmer had wagged a finger at her during a brief coffee catch up and Scorpia kept texting for “check ins on my bestie”.

It was sweet, but terrifying.

No, the  _ real _ issue was….

ADORA.

Because she was an enigma. After that meeting things had been  _ good _ . But the texts had been odd. Catra had mustered the courage to fire off a “HEY” and a quick “Whatcha doing”. In high school they'd irritated EVERYONE for their crazy levels of banter and back and forth. Psyching each other up, teasing, pushing the limits of acceptable conversation. It hadn't been flirting. No. Not at all. NOPE. It had been conversational chicken, that was all - first person to bail from the conversation was a LOSER. That sort of thing.

So, when Adora had replied five hours later with a “SRY! Manic day” then a paragraph, it had felt awkward. Then another block of silence. It was fits and starts. Adora messaged in bursts, all with a faint tinge of mania to them. She didn’t type “LoL” she typed “hahahahahahaha”. She didn’t use emojis, rather she just spaced out “:-)” and left it at that.

It was stilted, formal. Catra felt that she was back on the outside again. And yet she was still closer than others. During their coffee catch up, Glimmer had remarked that Adora had seemed distracted, then pointedly looked at Catra. She'd even shown Catra a text exchange between her and Adora - a neutral one. It read like a corporate exchange email chain. Glimmer had just shrugged and said " _It's what she is now"._ She hadn't elaborated beyond that.

Also Adora and her hadn’t met up again since. Catra hadn’t tried all that hard, but neither had Adora. Work, it seemed, was murder.

So maybe Catra was trying to back out because….

Because maybe Adora  _ didn’t _ care and it was  _ Adora _ letting her down with a grand gesture and then ghosting  _ her _ in some sort of weird revenge track that she’d planned. So, she explained this to Razz and the older woman steepled her fingers.

“Catra.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I get you to sign a waiver allowing me to hit you with my broom?”

Catra blinked, “Uhhh,  _ no _ .”

“Then I will simply have to accept the assault charge. Because does that even sound  _ remotely _ likely? And if so, is that the  _ character _ of Adora to do such a thing? From what you've told me of her, this type of... _prank_ doesn't appear to be her, well... thing?”

The cat girl sagged again and huffed, “No. Adora wouldn’t do that… she’d  _ punch _ you if she didn’t like you.”

“Exactly. She laid out how many men?”

“They  _ wish _ she’d… nope, nope not going there. She, yeah. Yeah. She’s direct, to the point but… she’s being… distant?”

“Considering that this was probably equally as surprising for her? The act of healing is  _ not _ a one off event, dearie. We have to go through the recovery process.”

Razz watched calmly as Catra pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes. The cat girl let out a frustrated  _ GAH _ then slumped forwards, arms on knees, “I guess I… I don’t know what to do? Like, what if I mess up again? What if I  _ don’t… like _ her?”

“How do you mean?”

“What if she’s changed and… and this new Adora isn’t someone I like?”

“Then you know. People do change. But we can choose how to interact. But you have done the start - you have cleared the air. And you can part ways if this isn’t what you want. Do you think you don’t like her?”

“Ugh.. No. She’s the same, really. A bit bigger. A bit more… intense? But, yeah. Still her.”

“So, perhaps build on that, test the water. If it doesn’t become a  _ relationship _ then at least you have your friendship back. And, maybe, if you have faith and stop seeing this as a _punishment_ or some sort of stick... maybe you can explore those _other_ feelings. See where it goes. See if they're still there. Or... if you've constructed an _ideal_. That is my _only_ caution here - don't go into this _assuming_ anything about her. Dn't build a pedastal. See her as a _person_.”

Catra nodded, “Yeah, that’s something. I guess we’ve got to just relearn each other, right? I mean, I’ve changed a  _ buttload _ .”   


“Not familiar with  _ that _ particular unit of measure, is it more or less than five cups?” smirked Razz. Catra snorted and shrugged, “Either way, consider this: whilst Adora may be the  _ big _ presence here, consider she may be  _ equally _ as nervous. Much as you mask with humour, she masks with confidence. Just a thought. I have seen it where a person who has suffered trauma  _ and she did Catra _ … no blame, but we can’t skirt around that… anyway, they overcompensate. Much as you did.”

Catra lashed her tail uncomfortably, “That…”

“That was a you that you are not anymore. We are about  _ owning _ which problems are ours, acknowledging them but  _ not _ letting them dictate. It is a lesson, Catra, remember that. The you then was made up of ingredients that were poorly mixed. You have worked to sift the toxicity out, to understand what was part of you and what was put there by  _ others _ . Remember…”

Catra nodded, “Acknowledge the events. But acknowledge they don’t  _ make _ me me.”

“Exactly. You have moved beyond it. Facing those events was a brave step. Taking action to  _ rectify  _ them? An even braver one. SO, you have changed, cast off the shadow of other people’s influence. You are self aware. You  _ know _ yourself. You will learn to  _ love _ yourself, and from that, to love others.”

That drew a smile from Catra as Razz reached across the table to grip her hand. She swallowed, “I… still struggle with that last one.”   


“I know, dearie. I know. So, how about we go bake a pie and talk about it?”

“I’d like that.”

\-------------

Catra’s sessions were usually an hour, with a monthly two hour one to allow for Razz’s ‘baking therapy’ where they kneaded dough and mixed filling - the physical act allowing her mind to wander, whilst Razz switched through topics. The pace, the actions, it was meditative and let her work through her  _ positives _ . It was hard to be negative as you constructed something. The energy of building towards something, the repeat actions, the structure of things, it gave her that positive framework that reinforced that she was doing a  _ good thing _ .

It'd been a pretty enjoyable session, even if the pie looked like a mess. They'd talked over _expectations_ and _assigning value_ \- she had to avoid building up Adora into this... ideal. Something she realised she'd failed at in the buildup to the meeting. She'd assumed the _worst_. For good reason, considering her own actions. But still, she'd been blindsided by the sheer level of support and kindness from _everyone_. When looked at as a whole, it was humbling. And it'd made her cry as they'd finally slid the pastry into the oven.

Something new. Something _fresh_. Something worth _exploring._ Romance was some weird, intoxicating Hollywood idea. What she NEEDED, really, was to rebuild that connection, that friendship. To see if they could be friends, rather than strangers who'd forgiven past slights. 

So, plastered with flour and with a faint spring in her step, she left Razz’s home in the suburbs and headed for home.

Inside her apartment she had to bat away Melog as they tried to (As usual) lick away the flour residue - a shower was in order.

She yanked her phone out of her jeans then shimmied out of them. As the spray began she toyed with the device and bit her lip. The last exchange had been a pretty neutral one - just “how’s things?” and Adora’s overly long text ramble. She chewed on her lip a moment longer then tapped out:

**_Catra:_ ** _ Coffee? Today? _

It was a saturday so shouldn’t be too hard.

She was about to climb into the shower when her phone dinged again. She blinked and turned - that was  _ fast _ . For Adora. Recent Adora. Recent Adora was fast.

**_Adora:_ ** _ Hey sure, sounds cool, y? everything ok, do u need 2 talk, sumthing on your mind? _

Catra stared at the message and tried to process. The phone dinked again

**_Adora:_ ** _ So, coffee places near me are… _

The next message was a map pin showing about 12 coffee shops.

**_Adora:_ ** _ I just need 2 get report dun then sent 2 client then can jog 2 meet. Sry, dnt no if these r good 4 u, dnt know where u live, cos thatd be creepy rite. All ok? Just 2 check, all ok? Urgent? Can cum now if need to _

Catra couldn’t help the snort and, before her courage failed typed in.

**_Catra:_ ** _ youd cum if I asked. We there yet Adora?! Getting a bit cocky! _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Wat, no, wait no, stop, not wat i ment,  _

**_Catra:_ ** _ do you not have autocorrect? _

**_Adora:_ ** _ I mean. No? Kept doing weird thangs 2 my typing _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Think you do that by yourself. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Shut up. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Make me. _

She blinked and stared at the last message and her throat tightened, though she wasn’t sure why. The typing dots appeared on the screen. Then vanished. Then appeared again. Behind her, the shower sprayed, forgotten, her whole world the tiny screen in front of her. She was about to type a follow on when the next message popped up.

**_Adora:_ ** _ We still talking about cumming when asked orrrrrrr. ;-) ;-P 8-D X-D  _

Catra almost fell over. She could help the laugh, which came out as a near squeak as she shook her head. The tension seemed to lift.

**_Catra:_ ** _ you are an idiot. And was that a full sentence. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ realised I need to avoid confusion _

**_Catra:_ ** _ And the smileys? _

**_Adora_ ** _ : *shrugs* _

**_Catra:_ ** _ You seriously didn’t type SHRUG. That is so a non answer. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Coffee then? _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Alright SHE RA. One hour, be HERE _

She dinked a message off which had the address of one of the pinned coffee shops, then sighed.

**_Adora:_ ** _ K, Cool, brill, looking forwards! This stuff can wait. Yep. Sure it isn’t urgent, I can  _ **_come_ ** _ now. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Wow you bolded that to make sure? Not sure if I’m embarrassed or not. Or disappointed. _

**_Adora: Disappointed_ ** _huh?_ _ Wow do you like me or something? How embarrassing for you. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Shut up, dork. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Make. Me. _

Catra gripped the sink and blinked. Her tail swished and she unconsciously pushed her legs together for a moment.

**_Catra:_ ** _ Such sass, much wow. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ I mean, i didn’t say anything. All on you, Applesauce _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Do not bring Kindergarten nicknames in here! _

**_Adora:_ ** _ You brought out SHE RA _

**_Cata:_ ** _ Seeing as I’m not flat on my back questioning my life choices, no I didn’t. _

Adora looked like she was typing again. Catra was amazed. This was the most intensive text  _ session _ they’d had in a week. Not awkward. It was like back in High School, the bantering back and forth; the teasing, trying to wind each other up, trying to get under each other’s skin and push buttons.

**_Adora:_ ** _ Gonna need context 4 that last comment. :-P _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Kicking the ass of 4 guys, Adora. THAT She Ra. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Oh. Ohhhhh. K. _

Catra frowned at that. What else could Adora have thought she meant? Her lizard brain prodded her with a  _ duh _ and she flushed all over as she re read her own message. OH. She swallowed, then tapped out a quick:

**_Catra:_ ** _ Right, gonna get in shower. See you in an hour? _

**_Adora:_ ** _ What, worked up a sweat already? _

How the hell could Catra hear a  _ purr _ in that text? HOW? She was imagining it. Had to be. Adora was just being friendly. And typing in full sentences. Bantering, like they used to. Adora was trying to _win_.

**_Catra:_ ** _ Just covered in flour, you perv. _

**_Adora:_ ** _ Ah so you do like getting covered in white stuff :-( _

**_Catra:_ ** _ ADORA! EW! _

**_Adora:_ ** _ What? Fact. _

**_Catra;_ ** _ ON THAT NOTE. Showering. See you for coffee. Soon. Don’t bail on me, k? _

**_Adora:_ ** _ You asked me to come. I will ;-) _

And if that last line didn’t make Catra groan in a way that was  _ most _ unbecoming. She was glad she had a little under an hour.

Her shower was going to take a little longer than anticipated...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter today. Because if I add the totally-not-a-date in here it'll be a bit MUCH.
> 
> Will it go well? Will all that work Adora seems to have be completely irrelevant? Will we see what her DEAL is?
> 
> Hoping to have another chapter of this early this week as well. We're closing in ;)
> 
> As ever let me know if you spot flow changes, blocks, spelling issues, or even if you think this... works?
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!


	13. Plan of attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date that is not a date. Complications!
> 
> Catra gets an idea. And an obsession.
> 
> A plan of attack is formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - hints of past abuse (Conversion therapy)

Catra was early. Not that she’d run; that would be ridiculous - she had spent the exact right amount of time getting ready. Not like she’d torn apart her wardrobe finding the right balance of “hey I just threw this on” and “So, you like this ass?”

This was just two girls reconnecting. Bantering. Rediscovering that joy of companionship!

Gals being pals!

Catra paused on the sidewalk as that thought careened through her head like an overenthusiastic Pastor on a fairground ride.

It was a very  _ Scorpia _ sort of phrase. The sort Scorpia had used  _ back then _ when she’d been in denial as well.

Well Catra  _ wasn’t _ in denial. She was  _ out _ as well. And… so was Adora. In a good way now! They’d gotten past that, maybe. Maybe?

She fussed with her purse and gave herself another once over - footwraps, skinny jeans and a strappy top covered with her usual leather jacket. It was warm out so it was totally appropriate. Totally. And she’d brushed her hair properly, which was normal. Yeah she’d used some extra spray, maybe some perfume, but that was just  _ normal _ .

Inside the cafe she decided to wait so that they could grab a drink together. She knew how awkward it was if you got there and your date…

... _ not date _ . Your  _ acquaintance _ already had a drink. Lots of messing around by a counter, lots of feeling weird that they hadn’t waited or all that.

Catra’s knee bounced as she looked out of the wide window. The cafe wasn’t a chain one - actually a nice local start-up, with comfy chairs and bookcases. She’d have said  _ hipster _ but it didn’t have that trying-too-hard vibe; just a general feeling of  _ comfort _ and  _ cosy _ . She looked back at her phone and toyed with her messaging app then twitched as one came through from Scorpia:

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Heyyyyy Wildcat. All good? _

**_Catra:_ ** _ ‘sup! Yeah just mtg Adora. _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ WOOOO! Wow. AWESOME! Uh just go easy _

**_Catra:_ ** _?? _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Oh um, maybe overstepped. Think she’s had a rough week _

**_Catra:_ ** _????? _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Don’t leave me hangin scorp. She going to gut me? _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Honestly? Rest of us give her space on weekends. Try to. Most of us. Sorry not fair im prejudicing you! Shouldnt have said anything _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Well youve started digging…. _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Yes. Yes I have. One mo. _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Hi Catra it’s Perfuma. _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Normally I would call but we are a bit busy so I’ll keep it brief _

**_Catra:_ ** _ I dont want to know do i? _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ About Adora? _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Well of course I want to know about THAT! The other stuff that… just get on w/ it!! _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Ah. Yes. You probably dont. On Adora: bad week, to do with the cases. People pulling out. We think there’s intimdation, counter suits or something. So, heads up, she may be a bit tense. _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Ice queen? Like you said. _

**_Scorp:_ ** _ Maybe. Just… be gentle. _

Catra pursed her lips. None of this scanned, really, with the girl she’d seen on stage. Or the girl she’d spent a couple of hours basically covering the basics of their trauma with. Or the girl she’d texted (intermittent as it was).

Adora was…. Adora. Frankly, it sounded like everyone was treading eggshells.

That thought made Catra wince -  _ irony, thy name is? _ Hadn’t that been Catra’s whole FEAR leading up to this? She fired of a rapid response and left Scorpia and Perfuma to… whatever it was that Scorpia had decided to text her during. She hoped it was a movie.

She prayed it was a damn movie.

Her scattered thoughts were drawn by movement outside and she brightened as she caught sight of Adora. Her smile wavered between  _ I’m gay _ and  _ Uh oh _ , however as she looked at the tall blonde.

Adora had a hoodie on, sleeveless and grey, over a stylish, form fitting turtleneck. The pairing accentuated her well defined arms. They weren’t like body-builder’s, but rather they were defined - the toned shape of a person who spent time at the gym but didn’t  _ live _ there. The divots between muscles, the shadows that danced across her faintly tanned skin, it did rather draw the eye. Her legs were equally defined in a set of tight pants that were tucked into a pair of solid boots. 

Adora was on the phone and her face was actually a tiny bit scary. Hey eyes were flat, her forehead pinched in a frown and her mouth set in an angry line. Catra saw the girl roll her eyes and seemingly snarl down the phone. People in the street stepped around her nervously. She couldn’t hear Adora’s voice but she could see the mouthed  _ Fucking Sort It Out _ even from through the window. Adora hung up and pushed her way into the cafe and Catra wondered if she should just  _ go _ .

And then Adora saw her and her face changed. It was almost jarring. Gone was the pinched frown, the pursed lips. In fact, Adora’s whole demeanour  _ shifted _ . Her ramrod straight back relaxed and she seemed to soften. She practically skipped over to where Catra sat, then paused to push a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear, “Hey!”

Catra stared at her, then smiled, “Hey, Adora. Um, I was, y’know, early. Haven’t ordered, so let me…”

“No! No I got this. Latte?”

“Please,” Catra smiled and watched Adora grab their coffees. She bustled back and set the tray down on the low coffee table before she sank into the armchair opposite and let out a sigh. Catra had to stop herself from just staring and managed to get out, “Rough Saturday?”

Adora laid her head back on the chair and waved a hand, “Eh, work. Keeps me busy. But it can wait.”

Catra smiled and blew on her latte, eyes still focused on the blonde. Adora sat up and rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forwards. Catra had to  _ keep _ her eyes on Adora’s. The blonde smiled widely and Catra snorted at the goofy smile, “You seem… happy now?”

“Of course! Coffee with my bestie,” Adora twitched a little at that but then shrugged and glanced away, “If… y’know. I kind of assume you’d…”

Catra nodded, “I want to reconnect and, look I… I’m the one who should be worried, y’know? I know you said I shouldn’t be all guilty and crap but… I am. I want to get back to what we were, or close as we can? I missed you. Missed this. Shooting the breeze, all that.”   


Adora eyed her and arched an eyebrow, “Shooting the breeze, huh? DId you just fall out of a fifties cigar commercial or something? Been watching too many reruns.”   


“Hey! It’s a thing people say!”

“Sure thing, ma’am, getting very  _ down with the kids _ and their  _ lingo _ huh?”

“Oh fuck you,” grinned Catra. Adora’s eyes widened for a moment and her grin expanded.

“Bit public for  _ that _ Catra.”   


“I...what, that…  _ shut up _ .”

“I didn’t say  _ anything _ . All you, girl,” Adora snorted and grabbed her own coffee for a sip. She froze as her phone rang, that frown returning for a brief moment. With steady hands she placed the cup down and fished out her phone, then cancelled the call. Catra arched an eyebrow.

“Everything ok?”

“Work. I told them it would  _ keep _ .”

Catra rolled her eyes in sympathy, “Let me guess - juniors panicking, so they pass it back to you?”

Adora groaned, “YES! I get I’m a bit of a perfectionist but… really?”

The blonde gave brief “jazz hands” and shook her head. Catra chuckled, “Delegating is hard. And juniors are dumb,” she nodded sagely as if pronouncing from on high.

They chatted back and forth - Catra explaining what it was she actually  _ did _ . Adora listened, rapt, nodding and asking questions here and there. It gave Catra a warm feeling in her stomach - having someone pay  _ genuine _ attention was rare. Yes, her friends did it, but they  _ worked _ together. Most of their conversation was pretty shallow.

“So, you sell  _ ideas _ ?” teased Adora. Catra mocked huffed and then pouted.

“I sell  _ dreams _ Adora.  _ Potential _ . What people could  _ be _ !” she flourished, “I’m a consultant!”

Adora practically cackled and leaned back in her chair, “You are a dream.”   


Catra blinked, “What now? Was… was that a line, Grayskull?”

Adora blushed and coughed, “What, no? NOooooo. Y’know, ‘cos, well. This all feels… unreal, y’know? That’s what I meant. Words are  _ hard _ Catra. And I am blonde.”

That just got an arched eyebrow and a smirk from Catra, even though she felt a bit of a pit in her stomach. She wasn’t sure  _ why _ though, “Good save there, She Ra. Your mouth is faster than your legs these days?”

Adora opened her mouth to answer when her phone rang again. Her expression twitched ever so slightly again. She hung up. But the phone just buzzed again. Catra frowned and Adora sighed, then gave her an apologetic look, “I need to take this.”

The blonde stood and left the cafe. Catra couldn’t help but watch as the whole of Adora’s profile changed again. She looked  _ professional _ . Like she was on stage again. But she looked distant. She wasn’t charming, like she’d been when presenting. No, she looked  _ cold _ . She didn’t seem to notice her surroundings as she spoke into the phone. Her gaze swept all around as she spoke, clearly unseeing as she focused on whatever was on the other end of the phone.

Catra watched as she hung up, then saw her freeze as the phone clearly rang  _ again _ . Another conversation. Catra sipped her coffee and frowned. Part of her felt stood up; but Adora  _ had _ said she had work… but that she was putting it off.

And Scorpia had mentioned a tough week. She watched as Adora kept talking. Cool. Measured.

The blonde hung up and came back into the cafe. She paused next to the table and huffed, then closed her eyes. Catra tilted her head and spoke softly, “Hey, bad time?”

Adora gave a half shrug, “Never rains but it pours,” her voice was distracted, unfocused. She opened her eyes and looked  _ sad _ for a moment, “Sorry Catra, I need to… cut this short.”

The business-like tone was what felt  _ harsh _ . Like this was some meeting. Catra nodded slowly, “Um…. it was… good to see you. You sure I can’t…”

Adora smiled faintly, “You too. I had… a lovely time. Thank you for getting me out. But… back to the grind, y’know?”   
  
“It’s  _ Saturday _ Adora.”

“We both work weekends. C’est la vie, y’know? So, um, yeah, see you soon?”

Catra stared at her, then smiled and stood. Adora blinked as Catra opened her arms then half stepped, half stumbled into a hug. Catra gripped her and rested her chin on Adora’s shoulder, “Yeah, soon. Don’t… don’t work  _ too _ hard, ok?”

“Careful Catra, sounds like you might care,” Adora chuckled, her voice strangely watery.

They broke apart and Catra watched the blonde leave, already dialling someone on her phone. Her posture straight, her whole air  _ different _ .

Catra sat back down and finished her coffee, then stared out of the window. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. One thing at a time.

It’d been good to see Adora. Great. They hadn’t had a  _ deep _ conversation. But it felt like that, for some reason, a barrier had come down. She’d suddenly seen the  _ ice queen _ . But it hadn’t been directed at her which she was grateful for. Admittedly Adora had seemed off at the end there, but she didn’t seem particularly  _ pleased  _ to be leaving.

Catra from a year ago would have probably spiralled. Catra  _ now _ was on the verge - part of her mind wanted to say  _ she ran away from me _ . But she wasn’t completely useless. She actually had a modicum of empathy now. She had actual evidence that Adora  _ cared _ or at least  _ liked _ her enough.

No this was something else. Something that reminded her of that ghost of Adora from her past - Adora who always put 110% of herself into everything.

They’d joked about delegation, about people having no initiative; but how much of that was true and how much was Adora likely stepping in?

She chewed her lip and then stood. It had been a  _ good _ afternoon, weird departure notwithstanding. It felt  _ normal _ . Like, almost a date. Definitely  _ not _ a date. And Adora had seemed sad. But also withdrawn. What was  _ that _ about? Because she’d clearly been having fun.

Was Adora  _ disappointed _ ? Catra paused then left the cafe and trudged home. She’d wanted the day to  _ stretch _ . To have more time. There still seemed so much to say.

Catra felt possessed of a strange purpose. There felt like a lot of unfinished business. As she walked she hooked her phone out and fired off a quick message to Adora.

**_Catra:_ ** _ Really good to catch up. Done burn your brain out thinking 2 hard.  _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Please _

**_Catra:_ ** _ Would like a follow up coffee, y’know? AND I WAS SUPPOSED 2 BUY THEM. _

She was about to put her phone away when it buzzed. She blinked in surprise and smiled at the response.

**_Adora:_ ** _ Thx. And u snooze u loose. _

**_Adora:_** _Will have 2 think. Weeks r cray. Raincheck?_

Well, it wasn’t a no. And it was… friendly at least. Catra chewed her lip and decided to try bold.

**_Catra:_ ** _ Ok. But u better. Can’t get rid of me that easy. _

She felt nervy. Her brain wanted to add  _ but you should _ . It wanted to add  _ because I ruined it _ . It wanted to add  _ I’m not worth your time _ .

But as Razz said - break the old, build something new. She had to push now, she was so close to maybe, potentially, rebuilding this fractured friendship. Her phone buzzed again and she looked down.

**_Adora:_ ** _ Good. _

Her walk home felt lighter all of a sudden.

\---------------------

To understand the mystery that was Adora, Catra had decided to mix business and pleasure. Her way to understand her clients was  _ research _ . Investigation. Relentless questioning of them until they broke down and admitted they used the company slush fund for hookers… which  _ had _ actually happened once and had left everyone feeling  _ very _ awkward during the next presentation where Catra had put it under  _ Entertainment _ .

She didn’t pull punches: it was why Netossa liked her!

So, here she was, at home, trawling all the news sites about the Light Hope organisation, their court cases, their work. It was only Sunday and she’d already gotten several folders worth of  _ information _ . She was even tempted to put a pinboard up with string and the whole  _ shebang _ .

There was a  _ lot _ .

Pictures from women’s shelters; LGBTQA group meetings on college campuses; testimonials from companies about culture changes; a whole blog on various support initiatives, public speaking and helplines.

It was a  _ lot _ . And most of the articles were written by “AG”. Most of the documents for download were produced by “AG”. There were videos of other speakers, a couple of Adora (How had she NOT found these? They didn’t have Adora mentioned by name, but as a couple of clips as part of presentations, but  _ still _ !)

Twitter was a generic Light Hope account that was all about news updates on upcoming cases, support links and more.

Catra felt a bit overwhelmed - she could see Adora’s fingerprints everywhere - the writing style, the sheer  _ energy _ of it just screamed  _ Adora _ . She was surprised the website hadn’t featured sparkling unicorns SOMEWHERE.

She looked up the court cases around Prime - several class action suits; unfair dismissal cases; discrimination. Newspaper articles around the connection to conversion therapy centres; political donations to the more extreme candidates; links to some of the more unpleasantly vocal religious figures and mega-churches.

It looked like things were coming home to roost for  _ Hadrian _ who, it was reported had fled to his retreat overseas. But his company had been left to take the beating.

It felt cathartic to read. She found her way to the article around the centre in her home town. The “Frightsburg Camp”. She felt her chest tighten just seeing the place in photographs.

The blog was an expose of the facility, showing candid shots of the  _ pools _ and the  _ chairs _ . At the end were a few links to mainstream media sites that had run with the story. It’d been slow to pick up, Catra could see; Hadrian Hordak had deep pockets and a lot of friends. But not  _ everywhere _ . Foreign press and queer-friendly media had  _ run _ with it and a lot of the media was forced to pick it up once it’d gone viral, lest they miss out on those  _ oh so precious clicks _ .

She leaned back in her office chair and spun lazily, thoughts a whirl of conviction and confusion.

Adora was clearly helming a  _ crusade, _ it appeared. And that both intrigued and worried Catra.

She picked up her phone and tapped her thumb against the case in thought, then decided she needed to know  _ more _ . She wasn’t quite sure where she was going with this, but something about the way Adora acted outside the coffee shop troubled her. It was the same, closed down expression she’d caught a glimpse of  _ once _ .

And everyone said she acted that way  _ as a rule _ . With her  _ friends _ . She’d seen her anger, yes, but caught a fragment of the distance.

She dialled.

_ “Adora Grayskull speaking.” _

First ring, wow, “Hey Adora, didn’t even check the incoming call.”   


_ “Oh... uh hi Catra. Not the best time,”  _ Adora’s voice was curt, a bit tired sounding,  _ “Everything ok?” _

“Yeah, uh… just checking in.”   


_ “Oh, well, ok. Sorry Catra, I’m…” _

“Yeah, I know, working. Look um… I don’t want to wait a week to see you again. I don’t want to… to lose touch,” she swallowed and just  _ went  _ for it, “I know you’re busy. I’m busy. But… like you said…”

There was a sigh on the other end of the line and… a  _ sniffle _ ? “ _ Um, yeah um...sure sure… can… can you text me the details? Ideas? Maybe… maybe this week? _ ”

Catra punched the air and nodded, then groaned silently as she realised Adora couldn’t see her. Which was good, otherwise she’d have seen Catra  _ punch the air _ ,” Yeah, yeah of course. Look, days are crap I know. Can we do… dinner? I can cook?”

_ “What, really? When did that happen?” _ Adora seemed genuinely shocked.

“Fuck you.”

_ “Two offers in two days, I still got it,” _ clearly  _ banter _ was where Adora was comfortable then. Her voice still sounded tired, a bit watery though.

“Dinner first, desert later,” purred Catra, shocked at her returned boldness. Like old time.

Adora spluttered on the end of the line, “ _ Yeah, well… apertifs and…. Uh.” _

Catra smirked, “What, cat got your tongue?”

“ _ Cat wishes she had my tongue.” _

Catra went red and Adora snickered. She rallied, “Well, I’ll give you something to get your jaw around.”

_ “Promise?” _

“I’ll even add spices.”

“ _ Won’t that sting.. Ohhhhh you meant food.” _

“Duh. I have lube for that. The not food stuff. That can happen,” Catra’s boldness faltered and she exhaled, “XL Burritos work? Or you still counting salt as a spice?”

_ “Wow, I have you know my proud milquetoast ancestry has also made me resilient to basil and thyme too.” _

“HAH! Right, I’ll whip something good up. Fear not. I’ll send you a time. Don’t. Flake.”

_ “I’ll… try.” _

“Don’t make me hunt you down, Grayskull.”

_ “You do seem good at it…”  _ Adora’s voice drifted slightly. Catra swallowed.

“Yeah and it was stressful, mentally taxing and  _ worth it _ . So, you know I’ll do it again. So, put some time in your colourful calendar, ‘cos I know you’ve got one, block the time and turn your phone  _ off _ . Or I’ll stick it in the disposal.”

Adora laughed and the sound rang in Catra’s ears, “ _ Alright. Alright…. Send me a time.” _

“Sure thing…. Adora.”

_ “And… um… Catra…?” _

“Yeah?”

_ “Thanks for calling.” _

“Don’t burn the candle at both ends dummy. For me?” It was pushing it, so she added, “I… I know you don’t owe me, but… please?”

A sigh on the other end of the line, but it didn’t  _ sound _ exasperated. More a humm, “ _ Alright. Talk later ba….Catra.” _

Catra blinked at the strange verbal trip. She swallowed, “Talk later… Adora.”

She hung up and slumped back, then looked at her phone again and brought up another contact. She dialled.

“ _ Whats up scum.” _

“Hey Sparkles. We need to talk. Your mom about?”

_ “Uhhh… yeah she’s… in today? What’s wrong.” _

“Let’s talk Adora, ok? Where’s good…?”

_ “You know what, just come here. You sound super serious.” _

“Yep. I got me a new  _ project _ .”

She hung up, then folded her laptop and slid it into her spare carry-bag. After a quick check of her accessories, she bundled out of her apartment and ran for the bus.

\------

Glimmer’s family had relocated to Brightmoon and set up shop in a  _ very _ nice part of town. Eight bedrooms and a  _ veranda _ level of nice. Catra felt really awkward when she rang the bell, but stamped it down  _ hard _ . She was a successful woman, someone who had  _ made  _ it. One day she’d have a house like this. 

Well, maybe just four bedrooms. Why four? Wasn’t like she wanted kids. Didn’t she? What would they look like? Would they want to adopt? Would Adora….

She applied the brakes  _ hard _ to that train of thought. She was here to understand what was wrong with Adora, not to plan a family, which was a hard  _ no _ and also very much NOT on the cards, because that would assume Adora still liked her that way and she hadn’t burned that bridge to fine particles of ash.

And she didn’t know what she felt for Adora right now. Aside from a very clear  _ attraction _ , she wanted to be careful because…

Because she didn’t want to chance it and hear her say a definitive  _ no _ ? As a friend she could be in her orbit again. Maybe make amends. Do like Razz said - rebuild. And she wasn’t  _ quite _ brave enough. Their banter was enough. Harmless jousting. Close enough to touch but not go crazy. She was  _ fine _ with that.

Adora was so kind. The Light Hope stuff showed that. She made an effort. She went out of her way. And…

_ She took on four guys. She kicked in a fire escape. She flirts, Catra. She is taking on Hadrian Hordak. Yeah. "Just friends". _

Her brain tried to ignore those rather obvious facts. Adora was… just acting on their old bond. Lots of stuff to cover, buried guilt, Adora had seemed to have bucket loads too. That was all.

She blinked in surprise as the door opened and Glimmer smirked at her, “Hey scum.”

“Sparkles. Hi.”

Glimmer peered at her, “You ok? Look like you got caught doing something.”

“Just…. Thinking. Anyway, not about  _ me _ . You gonna invite me in?”   


“You a vampire? Was expecting you to just barge through,” Glimmer grinned and Catra rolled her eyes and her ears flickered. Behind her, her tail lashed in frustration.

“I’m being  _ polite _ Glimmer,” simpered Catra with faux intensity, “You wanna talk out this Adora sitch or do I just sit out here and crib your wifi?”

Glimmer scoffed, “You’d never guess the password.”

“It’d be something like ‘Bowsabsrock’ or shit like that.”

“This is my MOM'S house!”

“And?”

“...you are the worst.”

Catra cackled and followed Glimmer into the main living room. The house had wood beams and high ceilings. It felt warm, despite the tall windows. The cream and pink furnishings were a bit much but Catra had gotten used to the Moon family approach to pastels back in High School.

Still, it was surreal to be back in a home owned by them. Not the same home, of course, but it  _ felt _ the same.

She froze, suddenly, as the magnitude of it hit and her lip trembled. Glimmer paused and turned, then frowned, “Hey, you ok?”

Catra gestured around, “N..never thought I’d… be welcome….”

Glimmer smiled softly, “Don’t push it,” she winked, “if it makes you feel better, we can pretend it’s probation?”   


Catra sniffled, “Shut… up.”

Footsteps sounded from the hallway and Angella appeared, a tray in her hands. It had a pot of tea on it and four cups. She set it down on the coffee table, then straightened, “Catra, lovely to see you. Glimmer said you wanted to discuss something. Is everything alright? Please, take a seat.”

Catra tugged on the strap of her laptop bag and nodded, setting herself down on one of the plush couches, “Uh, hem, so… yeah. Uh…. I saw Adora yesterday.”

Angella nodded while Glimmer poured out tea. Catra cocked her head at the four cups, then looked up as another person entered. Bow waved at the group as he jogged in, “Hey! Sorry! Traffic was a  _ nightmare _ . Hey Catra.”

“Uh, wow. Whole clan? Is Adora hiding in here too?” joked Catra, though she wasn’t sure - the whole  _ phone eavesdropping _ thing being real and all. Glimmer shot her a look and smirked.

“I can call her. Is this an intervention?”

“No! No… I mean… maybe, on the intervention thing… but. Ugh. Look, come on, you guys have FORM. I’ve been in TWO situations where she heard… stuff.”

“Like your declaration of luuuuuurve,” chuckled Bow. He sat next to Catra and nudged her with his shoulder, “I’m kidding. Though you probably need to unpack that."   


“We… We are  _ not _ talking about… THAT. Nothing to talk about!” Catra fumed, “That… is history. Bad. Ruined. OK? Off limits.”

She glared at the gruesome twosome who seemed to look sad for a moment, but Bow and Glimmer nodded. Angella tilted her head, then sipped her tea, “You are so sure, Catra?”

“I… look, we were kids, it was a kid crush, I pretty much nixed it and now… now we’re  _ adults _ and we barely know each other and…. Look, I’m on thin Ice, I get that! I’m not even.. Sure what I’m doing or why everyone is being so  _ nice _ and I’m still not quite sure about… Adora. Which is WHY I’m  _ here _ . Love is not a discussion because it… it’s not a thing, ok?”

Angella gave a shrug but let it go. Catra frowned but Glimmer leaned forwards in her seat, “Alright. So, Adora, who you don’t love… is the focus of this thing where you come to my house to basically get our input…? Why are we sat here?”   


“So, like I was SAYING. I saw Adora yesterday and… she was weird.”

The other three nodded and Bow and Glimmer exchanged a glance. Bow inhaled, then blew out a sigh, “Go on.”

“You guys said she was… standoffish? Like, unapproachable? Distant. Well… she  _ wasn’t _ . It was like old times? School, y'know? But then… she…”

“Locked down?” mused Glimmer. Catra nodded, “Yeah um… yeah that’s just how she is. I mean we get moments. She lights up with…”

Glimmer trailed off and sighed, so Bow interjected, “...with work. Well, lights up is a weird way of looking it. She just gets super into it.”

“That… isn’t good,” grumbled Catra, “I mean… we were having fun, coffee, y’know and then, bam, phone call and it’s a whole different person. I mean, I know I sound different presenting and all that. Put your professional hat on, whatever, but she…  _ changes _ . It’s freaky.”

Angella hummed, “My dear… we… there is no easy way to say this. But she has been guarded for many years. She is always kind, always helpful. Always present. But she is not complete.”

Catra closed her eyes and sighed, “Fuuuck. This is on me, isn’t it?”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a glance, with the girl making a noise close to  _ Ehhhhh _ , Bow sucked his teeth then shrugged, “We did say she was… in a bad place. This is her coping. Arms length for everything. She just invests in problems she can solve. I kinda feel weird saying it, you should talk…”

Catra waved a hand, “Nope, none of that. No trying to fumble through this WITH Adora. Because it'll probably go weird if we try and there'll be crossed wires and defensiveness and all that shit. We can stumble through self analysis and all that crap  _ later _ once I know what I’m dealing with. I’m not gonna try to psychoanalyse Adora while I get better with her, ok? Trust me. I’ve done therapy and handling two lines of thought and trying to second guess? NOPE. So, hit me… she’s distant, she’s overly invested in work and she’s a freakin’ nightmare when you try to get her to let go of it?”

Angella nodded, “Fairly on the nose dear.”

“And you guys think it’s my fault?” Catra eyed Angella with a faintly guilty expression.

“Not quite. I think you were a contributor to her withdrawal… but she has developed a few other stresses over the years.”   


Catra sighed and fished out her laptop then opened it, “So, she’s basically thrown  _ everything _ into the charity, right?”

The trio nodded, with Angella adding, “We have tried to advise her to take time, to step away but she refuses. It is… strange. She has a fever for it. We… when you came back into our lives, we wondered if this might be closure, but I think it’s not as simple as that.”

Catra gestured to the myriad links, “She hyperfixated on her work?”

Angella nodded, “We’re not sure if there’re other contributing factors. But, yes. The work has, ironically, not given her the release she needed.”

A clink of cup on saucer drew Catra's gaze to Bow, who grimaced, “But like Angella said, we were hoping you coming back would give her… I don’t know, closure maybe?”

Glimmer ran a hand through her hair, “Yeah. I mean, it was super cute setting you two up for the talk. Adora was nervous but really eager once we calmed her down.”

Catra reared back, “Calmed her down?”

“Oh yeah. Major freakout. She… she’s still got a few twitchy things about you Catra. She didn’t think you  _ wanted _ to talk to her.”   


Catra slumped back, “Wow, we are  _ messed up _ . I broke her bad. So…  _ why _ ,” her voice croaked, “I have no idea why everyone’s being so good about this?”

She almost cried at Angella’s gentle smile, “Because healing is good, Catra. And it isn’t our place to be angry at you. Look at what you’re doing now! You want to help her! Even though we don’t know what the issue is.”   


“She’s a workaholic with avoidance issues,” grumbled Catra, then looked at the others, “DUH! You KNOW this guys. Come on, she actively avoided personal confrontation in High School. She only stepped up if anyone else was at risk. I thought she was in therapy? She said she was.”

Glimmer shrugged, “Yeah, well… we all know how good at deflecting she is. She says she’s going but is she?”

“If she isn’t I’m gonna freakin’ drag her to mine, conflict of interests be damned,” growled Catra, “She… she was  _ alive _ when we spoke. And then that change it just… it’s so weird. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“She’s had a hard time forming connections. Personal ones. She hasn’t dated much. And some of those may not have helped  _ either. _ ”

Catra felt a spike of  _ something _ there. Which was really unfair -  _ she _ ’d dated. Why was she jealous that Adora might’ve done?

_ Because there’s no chance now of it happening… or so you keep telling yourself. _

The other three were talking, exchanging idle comments about Adora’s retreat, her stoic approach and her whole work approach. Catra shook her head, “Anything else I need to know?”

Glimmer shrugged, “I mean, what’s to tell? We try to include her, try to get her out, send her things, try to help with work. She won’t have it though.”

“Ok… ok. Well, I guess that’s… something. I’m having her over for dinner this week. Another attempt at reconnecting. I’ll text you the day, so just make sure YOU,” she pointed at all three, “Keep messaging to a  _ minimum _ on the day, ok? I think… I think I’m seeing what the issue is.”

She looked back at her laptop and scrolled through the various saved links. Glimmer peered at them and sighed, “This whole thing has just… consumed everything. We’ve been helping where we can but, well… Adora just has to get involved…”

Catra huffed and closed the laptop, “Alright I… I guess that covers it. I think I could’ve guessed all this, but… thanks for laying it all out. I’m not sure what to do,” she clasped her hands together in her lap and sighed, “I mean… I have an  _ idea _ …”

She trembled as Angella’s hands closed over hers, “Do what you are doing, Catra. It is early days. A new bond. You wish to solve this now, I know. How can we help?”

Catra looked up and smirked, “I’m a consultant. I solve problems. So, tell me. How does the Light Hope group  _ work _ ?”

The others were silent for a moment. Then Bow leaned back on the couch and grinned as realisation flashed across his features, “Are you going to  _ performance manage _ her charity to make her work less?”

Glimmer grinned, “Oh wow. This is either a terrible idea or an awesome one. I’m in.”

Angella smiled and arched an eyebrow, “Well…. I may be able to provide some insight. You will, of course, need to actually talk to her about the  _ detail _ .”

Catra waved a hand, “That’s what the dinner’s for.”

The three shared a glance and Glimmer deadpanned, “You’re basically treating your date like a client dinner?”

“It’s NOT a date.”

“You know sleeping with clients is a violation of…”   


“NOT sleeping with her!” shrieked Catra. Angella hummed and rocked her head from side to side.

“Yet.”

“ANGELLA!” Catra gasped.

“MOM!” Glimmer blanched.

“She has a point,” smirked Bow. He sat up again, “So, you expensing this totally-not-a-second-date on the company account?”

“No,” gritted out Catra, “It’ll be pro bono freelance.”   


“Pro what now?” crowed Glimmer.

“Shut. Up. _You_ are the worst.”

“Only because we care, dear,” smiled Angella, “Now. Glimmer, enough with the crudity. Catra, we’ll tell you what we can. And then…”

Catra nodded, then rolled her shoulders, “Then I need to actually convince Adora to let me help,” her smirk wavered, "EASY."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a messy chapter. BUT wanted to show Catra shifting to taking the initiative for the person she totally doesn't love. At all. Nope. NYET.
> 
> Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
> 
> There's a teensy bit of drama looming... but it won't be drastic ;)


	14. A squall over paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora comes to tea.
> 
> Some home truths are spouted.
> 
> The past is a hard country to escape from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Arguments, disagreements, blame
> 
> With reconciliation promised.

After some negotiation, a few back and forth rescheduling clashes and Catra resorting to a  _ threat _ to give Adora’s number to spam callers, they settled on Wednesday.

Not nearly enough time, Catra realised, to  _ really  _ get her game face on.

With clients she had days to plan, to research, to pull together a  _ brief _ .

With Adora she had, what? Online websites, a painful history and some more recent awkward catchups! Yeah, she’d briefed unfriendly clients but the worst thing that could happen there was a grumbling conversation,  _ maybe _ some extra work on the weekends (She’d never lost a client - she wasn’t her old High School self who’d try to front  _ everyone _ . Sometimes you just had to pick your corporate battles).

The worst that could happen here? Torpedo all that progress. Ruin a friendship she was  _ just _ rebuilding? Actually put something in jeopardy that, it turned out, she wasn’t ok with losing?

All that talk of  _ closure _ and  _ letting things go _ and  _ giving Adora the last word _ . Yeah that was all lies.

Catra was greedy. Selfish. ALMOST possessive. It had been an ugly trait as a kid; at College; even in her early days in business.

And now she had Adora back? She really REALLY didn’t want to lose her again.

But she also didn’t want to see Adora spiral down into some work-related burnout.

So, this was a balancing act between pushing the boundaries in their new relationship  _ (Friendship. Yes. Friendship. Relationships were a distant, very unlikely possibility. That bridge had likely been carpet bombed. Possibly. Maybe. Though it might also be under reconstruction. Sappers? Army Engineers? Whatever the metaphor was gone). _ But Catra knew, she  _ knew _ she had to do it.

So far facing her fears, tackling the problems had worked out. Of course, there was a chance her run of luck would falter.

Which was why she had her phone precariously gripped between shoulder and ear while she diced vegetables and yanked salad from her apartment fridge. The little supply run she’d done on Monday had been a bit stressful, but would (hopefully) be worth it.

“So, uh, just need a little, y’know, pep talk?” she winced as she fumbled an onion and nearly cut her finger, then readjusted the phone.

_ “Dearie… this is very fast.” _

“So it’s a bad idea?”

_ “No. Just be aware that it might be fast for her as well. Remember how you reacted when I tried to get you to agree to things hmmm?” _

“Yeah, well, I don’t have a broom handy right now.”   


_ “Ah ah ah, not what I mean and you know it.” _

“Look, I’m gonna use one of your thoughts on  _ you _ , a’ight? We gotta break things to make them stronger.”   


_ “Oh, she does listen! Clearly I am doing something right.” _

“Considering what I pay you, you better be doing better than Hallmark level quotes, Razz,” chided Catra with a grin.

_ “This is a point of view. That or I have a very good profit margin. But think about how you approach the breaking. Get the egg in the bowl, not on the counter.” _

“The counter representing the utter failure of my friendship?”

_ “Or just a counter. You cannot unbreak the egg, basically.” _

“Right, so… have an idea, don’t wing it, don’t say anything unless I’m  _ really _ gonna commit to it?”

_ “That’s a good way of looking at it.” _

Catra exhaled and scraped the diced onion to one side, then set about shredding the lettuce.

“Ok, so, not too fast, an intervention…”

“ _ A question dearie… how did you talk when things were fine?” _

“Uh… bluntly.”

_ “Will she associate that with… the incident?” _

“You make it sound like some crappy airport spy novel. I mean, maybe, I guess?”

_ “You guess?” _

“Ehhh. She’s been fairly up front. Flirty…”

_ “So, she is perhaps trying to recapture the old way as well?” _

“Perhaps…” Peppers done, Catra hooked a pan off the wall and set it on the stove-top. Oil in then the mince, “But, it’s kind of… aggressive?”

_ “So maybe masking. Pushing past something. I think, and this is just my view, Dearie, is that you need to reign that in. I think you need to address the cracks before building atop them. And maybe… this is a good way to do it. BUT as I said, consider your approach. I do not know Adora, haven’t seen how she reacts. But I can’t  _ NOT _ know about her. I do watch the news.” _

“Yeah, pressure… that’s what I hope to, y’know… help with?” Catrea bit her lip and sighed as she broke the mince apart with a wooden spoon. She sprinkled over some mild spices across the meat, then moved to the salsa prep. She’d gone for store-bought guac; she had  _ no _ desire to mashup that nasty green… fruit? Vegetable?

“ _ Then present it as an offer. If she is as good as she says….. She will see your intent.” _

There was a buzz at the door and Catra twitched a smile, “Uh, she’s here… wish me luck.”

_ “I will do no such thing, Dearie. You have, as the children say, got this.” _

Catra snorted then hung up. WIth a twist of the dial, she lowered the heat on the stove and dashed to the intercom and buzzed Adora in, “You got my apartment number, right?”

_ “I’m here, aren’t I?”  _ Adora’s voice was chirpy but did have a slight edge,  _ “Sorry sorry. Shitty day. BUT! About to be massively improved?” _

“You know it!” well that was  _ not _ an auspicious start - grumpy Adora? Catra was rethinking the whole ‘let me help’ line.

Well, in for penny and all that…

She headed for the door and unlatched it, then went back to the stove. She hummed as she continued prepping, then pulled a bottle of wine from the rack next to the fridge. The door clicked open and she smirked as Adora called, “Uh, hello?”   


“In here, down the corridor. Frankly, your options are kinda limited…”

She heard Adora yelp as Melog pounced on top of the sofa as soon as the blonde entered the living room. Catra turned from her position at the stove and smiled. She frowned faintly as she saw Adora was frozen, her expression almost  _ stunned _ .

“Woa. You  _ can _ cook?” Adora shook herself as she spoke and went for her trademark cocky grin. Except her eyes were a little too wide. Catra snorted and pointed at the blonde with the wooden spoon.

“Can it, wiseass. Or I’ll feed you to Melog.”   


Adora turned to regard the cat, which in turn regarded her. The blonde held out a hand tentatively and Melog deigned to reach out a paw to bat at the proffered appendage. Adora actually  _ giggled _ , “I Got a FISTBUMP!”

That got a fond eye roll from Catra, “If you’re done flirting with my  _ cat _ , pour us some wine… and, uh…. How was… your day?”

Adora divested herself of the long grey coat she was wearing, revealing a white roll-neck and grey pants. She grabbed for the bottle and made a beckoning gesture to Catra who startled then nodded and opened a side draw. Adora pulled out a corkscrew and within moments they had a glass apiece.

The blonde sagged onto one of the kitchen stools and sighed, “Work is, uh, the usual. Y’know?”   


“No, Adora… I  _ don’t _ know. I mean, I know I’m, y’know, big scary corporate consultant… but I just sell snakeoil and ideas, remember?”

Adora smirked, “Dreams, Catra, you sell  _ dreams _ ,” she arched an eyebrow, teasingly. Catra snorted then slid the burrito’s themselves into the microwave to heat.

“And don’t you forget it. So, spiced beef… decided against steak… salad, salsa and I even got hot sauce in case you want to  _ prove _ something.”

Adora pursed her lips and nodded, then grinned. It faltered slightly as her phone buzzed. Catra sighed and shot her a look. Adora closed her eyes and sighed, then plucked the phone out, then thumbed the  _ ignore _ , “Sorry… unfortunately I do need to… keep it on.”

Catra pushed down the bubble of disappointment and shrugged, “I get it, I guess. Must’ve been a really bad day.”

Adora closed her eyes and sighed, “Not great. No. But, anyway that’s… I’m here to see  _ you _ and eat some good food.”   


“Eh, one out of two ain’t bad,” chuckled Catra. The microwave  _ dinged _ and she served up the burrito, layering the ingredients atop it. Salad, meat, salsa, guac, cheese. Then wrap. She handed the plated meal to Adora and grinned, “Look at me, burrito’s and wine. Maybe I should’ve gone into catering.”   


Adora snorted, “LEt’s see if this turns out like that concert burrito before we make any major life choices, huh?”

Catra winced, “Oh that was a  _ bad _ time… yep. I did actually cook the meat though. See, pan, heat, everything!”

“I believe you,” Adora grinned then took a bit. She let out a little groan and spoke with her mouth still full, “ _ Sho gud.” _

Catra blushed as her brain went  _ elsewhere _ with that. She plated her own food and sat down next to Adora. She was halfway through when Adora’s phone rang  _ again _ . Catra looked up at the digital clock on the wall, then back at Adora, “Seriously?”

The blonde sighed, “I’ll just take one call, then done, ok?”

Catra shrugged, “Your time, I guess,” she grumbled. She continued to eat, trying to keep the frustration to a low simmer. She sipped her wine and arched an eyebrow as Adora sat down. She hadn’t heard the conversation - Adora mainly giving terse answers that sounded like acknowledgements or reassurances at most.

“Sorry, just… things to get out the door.”

“Is it the court case still?”

“Some of it… people are antsy.”

Catra smirked, “Saving the day again Greyskull?”

Adora had a faraway look in her eye for a moment, then shrugged, “If not me, who?”

The answer twisted something in Catra. A pain, a sadness. Adora had always had a caring streak but this… this was bordering on something else, “Do you want to talk about it?”

The blonde’s face stiffened and she gave a tight shrug, “Not much to say. I don’t like things being unfair. I don’t like people suffering. And I  _ can _ fix it. People who have the ability to do so and don’t... “ she left that hanging. Catra watched her and sipped her wine, then gestured at the food.

“Sorry, ‘Dor… that was heavy. More? Or you want something even more unhealthy?” she grinned and bit her lip as she waggled her eyebrows. Adora’s expression cleared and she chuckled.

“Another burrito?”

“Dude, I saw you down  _ how _ many at that victory party? We were, what… sixteen? The guys  _ fainted _ . You fit a whole…”   


“OK! Enough!” Adora grinned and shook her head, “Yeah, ok. Another ‘rito.”   


“‘Rito? Seriously?” Catra snorted, then slid back to the stove, to prep another block of food. Adora practically snatched it as Catra passed it over. The blonde was halfway through it when her phone buzzed again. She growled, swallowed (Which must have  _ hurt _ ) and answered. Catra sighed and sat down at the counter. She had left her own phone in her room as she’d expected a chance to actually  _ talk _ .

Adora was terse, cold and clearly  _ tired _ . And yet the conversation again didn’t seem that important. If anything, Adora seemed  _ bored _ with it. Again, the call ended with a sigh. Again, Adora sagged into the chair. Catra didn’t even try to hide her irritation and Adora cocked her head, “What?”

Her mind wanted to  _ launch _ into something. Into a rant. Into accusations. Into  _ what about me _ . But Catra took a breath, “I… I know you’re busy. And, well… I’m being selfish but I wanted to actually… talk?”

“We’re talking! See, this is talking! So much…” Adora looked embarrassed but also a bit defensive. Catra tilted her head and, for the first time, saw the bags under Adora’s eyes. The fact that her blonde hair was a little frizzy in the ponytail. Catra opened her mouth to say something when the phone rang  _ again _ .

She snapped. Her hand darted out and she had the cursed thing in her hand. She answered it, “Adora Greyskull’s phone. I’m afraid she can’t come to the phone right now, she’s  _ busy _ .”   


_ “Oh, um… hi… Is… is that you Catra?” _

“Mermista?”

_ “Oh, yeah, hi. Just, uh, wanted to ask Adora…” _

“Is this a social call?” Adora was staring at Catra, who was beginning to realise what she’d just done. But she was committed now.

“ _ No, like, it’s to do with the… well I wanted her view on running a conference.” _

“Doesn’t she have  _ people _ to do that?”   


_ “Well yeah, but when you have a line to the source…” _

“Call. Tomorrow. It’s the  _ fucking evening _ Mermista,” she hung up. And the phone rang immediately again. It was instinctive that she just answered it. Adora’s jaw sagged further and she stood to grappled for the phone. Catra danced around the kitchen isle and listened as some pompous ass started talking about approvals for a new presentation. How it needed doing. And he just  _ couldn’t _ .

Adora looked furious, “Give me the phone,” she hissed. Catra met her gaze and shook her head.

Instead she coughed down the phone, “Hey, uh,... Geoff, was it?”

_ “Oh… um… who is this?” _

“Hi, yeah… so it’s after hours. Why precisely  _ can’t _ you do the slides?”   


_ “Um, well, Ms Greyskull always approves them.” _

“At Eight o’clock in the evening?”   


_ “Well it is urgent!” _

“For you or for her?”

_ “Well um… for the charity of course!” _

“Does it need to be done by tomorrow?”

“ _ Uh well…” _

“That’s a no. Put an invite in her diary, don’t call her when she’s trying to have five minutes.”   


She hung up and the phone buzzed  _ again _ . Catra stared at it, whilst still moving to keep away from the irate blonde.

“Catra what the FUCK! Give me my fucking  _ phone _ .”

But she was down the rabbit hole. Her consultant brain was  _ wired _ . She was  _ investigating _ . She took the call and Adora shrieked and lunged again. Catra danced away, “Adora Grayskull’s phone, please have a good reason for calling during her date.”   


Adora actually froze at that her fury shifting to mild confusion and panic. Catra steamrollered, despite her own brain doing an  _ ohshit _ .

“ _ Uh, well, I’m writing an article and I wanted Adora’s view. She says call whenever, y’know and, well, since I’ve got nothing on and…” _

“Yeah, nope, buh bye. Call her during office hours.”

Catra hung the phone up, then powered it off and laid it on the isle. Adora was stock still. Catra swallowed. The blonde’s breathing was heavy, haggard. Her expression suddenly vulnerable, horribly,  _ horribly _ familiar.

_ Oh no _ .

Catra’s eyes flicked the phone on the countertop and back up. She swallowed. Adora spoke first.

“What. The. Fuck.”   


“I….”

“You do  _ not _ . Do  _ not _ . Have the  _ right _ ….” Adora’s breathing was shuddering now and her expression was warring between  _ anger _ and… grief? Disappointment?

Betrayal?

The blonde ran a hand through her hair, “Seriously Catra, what is going through that skull of yours?” her eyes were red and shining with tears unshed, “You do not… have the  _ right _ to just… just…  _ act _ like you can dictate to me.  _ Not anymore _ .”

That hit. That  _ hurt _ . There was real  _ pain _ behind those words. Catra felt her throat lock up and she gestured helplessly. Her words burst through, “You… you’re in pain Adora. You look…”   


“That is  _ my _ problem.  _ My _ choice. No one  _ else _ gets to control my thoughts, my lifestyle,  _ my choices _ ,” the words came out as a hiss. The blonde was leaning on the counter, fingers white.

“I’m… sorry. I just,” Catra took a breath. Adora wasn’t running. Wasn’t  _ leaving _ , “I just wanted to see you, talk to you, maybe….help… and I just got angry and…”   


“That seems to be a habit, doesn’t it?” Adora flinched as she said the words. But then her whole demeanour shifted. It became colder.

The ice queen stared at her.

At Catra.

“That… I…”

“You get angry. You act. You don’t care about the fallout for  _ anyone else _ . As long as Catra gets her way, right?” the blonde leaned forwards, blue eyes flat, “And if she can’t… then just  _ throw it in the garbage disposal _ , right?”

Catra felt the urge to fight back, “You said this was a talk for  _ us _ . But you have to go saving everyone else, huh? Be on call for everyone else!”

Adora’s head tilted in a way that wasn’t cute. It was  _ mechanical _ , “It’s what I do, Catra. What I’m good for, right? Whoring myself out?”

The words hit like a rebar across her chest. Catra physically flinched. Words from one of her emails. One of many. Adora had read them. Had taken them in on some level, “I… I was angry Adora… I was…”

“Broken. Damaged. In pain, yeah I know. And so was I Catra. And every email, I thought  _ maybe _ . Just  _ maybe _ she’s changed her mind. And then…” Adora’s neck flexed and the corners of her mouth dipped, “Then…”

Catra stared at the girl. A girl  _ still _ in pain. A girl who had most definitely  _ not _ gotten past some things. A girl who was trying to push forwards. Catra wanted to run, to take herself away.

But that wouldn’t help Adora. What good would taking herself away do? She’d been away, after all and this girl had just… bottled it up.  Except... Adora wasn’t storming off. She wasn’t throwing a dramatic fit and slamming doors. She wasn’t  _ running. _ The girl had  _ always _ faced her fears. Always stared down her problems. Except that one time, of course.

Adora’s eyes bored into her and Catra had a moment. A realisation - she was being given something here. A chance? A moment? Adora was... lashing out. Trying to provoke a response of some sort. Maybe to get _Catra_ to throw her out? Or to... maybe... maybe address _all of this._ Catra rolled her shoulders and nodded. Time to be brave. She set her jaw.

“I was scared. So scared, Adora. And that doesn’t  _ excuse _ anything. I… know we talked, we said that it was… I don’t know. But you…. I… I was in love with you. And that means jack shit now, I know, I KNOW. And you  _ know _ I was. But… I was so scared. And I knew you’d go. Or I’d lose you, because that shitty town didn’t care, not then. And I didn’t know what love meant, what it could be. I mean, you’ve met my mom? Trunchbull mixed with Freddy fucking Krueger.”

She saw a flicker of something on Adora’s face. A suppressed smile? “Doesn’t…”

Catra held both hands up, “I… I know I fucked up. Then AND Right now. I know. Three strikes, whatever. Guess I’m on fifteen, or some stupid high number? Please… please let me get this out then… just walk away.”

Adora flinched at that. The Ice Queen seemed to waver as a flare of something passed across those cold eyes, “I don’t… like people  _ controlling _ …”

Catra nodded quickly, “I can see that. I  _ get _ that. I mean, c’mon? I nearly got brainwashed, remember?”

Adora sagged at that, then slumped onto a stool. Catra knew that had been a low blow. But she needed to turn off Adora’s rage tap and turn on the  _ let’s talk and rationalise _ flow. Because, if she was never going to see or talk to Adora again, then she was damn sure she would let the girl know  _ everything _ . How she felt, how she missed her, how she never,  _ ever _ wanted to do that again - never wanted to _hurt_ Adora again. The blonde swallowed, “I want to forgive you Catra. And I do. But…” the girl paused and her cold stare rested back on Catra.

The cat-girl waited, then gently interjected, “But it’s not so simple, right? I had so much… hate. And… and when you throw love into that, don’t know what it means, you do stupid stuff. I hurt myself, because I thought I was feeling great. Just saying things, writing horrible things to try to get that pain _out_. I thought that anger, that grief was a  _ good _ thing. But… I guess the point I’m making is… is this, today, isn’t  _ that _ . Back then, it all came from my own fear, my own… confusion. Lashing out to hurt you because that was easier than dealing with it myself. Facing my mom, facing the world.”   


Adora stared at her, completely immobile. She seemed to have a moment of nervousness when Catra used the words _lashing out_. Her breathing had slowed and her gaze didn’t waver, “Uh huh.”

“And… I knew you loved me. But, that was so  _ much _ . So much.”   


Adora stiffened and went a slightly shade of pink, “So it’s  _ my _ fault?”

“Not what I said,” Catra’s voice was level, “More that I was  _ barely eighteen _ and a fucking idiot. A bigoted idiot. You know exactly what that means, or you wouldn’t have built an entire  _ charity _ around it. You were gay, I didn’t  _ know _ I was gay, thought I had some pretty strong feelings about it… and I was  _ warped _ , Adora. So I had to process that.”

“I wouldn’t have told you.”

Catra paused, “That you were gay? Duh, of course you wouldn’t have told me, if you’d known how…”   


“I wouldn’t have told you I loved you. One bombshell was enough. And I reckoned that… if you’d accept me being gay that’d have been enough. I could live with not having you love me back. You weren’t wired that way,” the dismissive tone  _ hurt _ . Adora regarded her dully. Catra wanted to argue against it, to deny such a thing. But the reality had already been proven, hadn’t it?

She dragged a hand over her face, “I was a mess, Adora and the way I was… I think I’ve made that point. But right now?” she met that cold gaze, “I’ve seen you barely at all since we… made up? Or seemed to make up because you clearly still have issues with me. Which, I need to say, you are  _ allowed _ to. But this… this is me being scared  _ for _ you.”

Adora’s jaw set but her gaze remained fixed on Catra, “Oh, now you care?”

“Of course I fucking CARE. I love you, you idiot!” Catra slammed her palms onto the island, “I always  _ always _ did. I was a mess and didn’t work it out until I’d  _ broken _ you. And now… now I look at this woman, this strong, scary,  _ driven _ woman who just keeps giving and giving and  _ giving _ . Who just… fights. Who ignores her own pain. Who is  _ breaking _ herself for some reason.”

The blonde snorted, “Love me, huh? That’s why you just… take my phone and…”

“That was stupid and selfish. I wanted  _ you _ and  _ me _ for one afternoon Adora. It was a violation.  _ Another _ one…. I know. I know  _ now _ . I... “ she winced, guilty.

“Got angry,” sighed Adora, “Yeah.”

“But it’s...you’re  _ scary _ , Adora. You go dead eyed. You freeze up. You’re doing it to  _ me _ now. And I was so scared you’d do this to me I was all willing to go along with whatever… until I saw you  _ literally falling apart _ right now. You’re tired, you’re burning out. And… and…” Catra felt her throat tighten and the tears began to run, “And you’re that way because of  _ me _ .”   


Adora blinked, her cold demeanor shifting into faint confusion, “It’s not  _ all _ about you… Catra…”

“No? No, I know… but would you  _ be here _ , doing this if I hadn’t done what I did? Would you be breaking your back with that hero complex of yours? If I hadn’t abused you, hadn’t sent all that… that  _ poison _ at you? Made you so  _ cold _ to everyone?”

The blonde was staring again, her lips pursed tight, “I’ve had… you’re not the  _ only _ problem… cause, I mean.”   


“Yeah. I  _ know _ I’m a problem. I KNOW. Not denying it. But, honestly. I wanted… want to help. And I don’t know many ways I  _ can _ help. I’m not great, I know. I just…” she blew out a breath and rubbed at her eyes, “I’m sure there’s loads of other stuff. But I can’t help but feel responsible.And I  _ want _ to help. And I  _ want to be _ … someone you value. Again. And someone you want to spend time with.”

Adora opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her initial anger had subsided, it seemed and she looked down at the counter, “Huh.”

“I… haven’t earned the right to…”

“I’m not a fucking celebrity or a prize, Catra. I’m  _ Adora _ . Earning? Stop putting me on a pedestal,” her voice was snappy now, “I thought you’d understand. The calls, the…”

“No. No I don’t. And y’know, I’m apologising here… but also,” Catra shifted gears, “It’s bullshit.”   


Adora actually reared back, “What?”

“I fucked up, fine. I overstepped a boundary and triggered some really shitastic stuff. That’s on me. I won’t do it again. BUT…. but. You aren’t in a good place. You aren’t  _ managing _ yourself. You are burning out. And I  _ cannot _ watch that happen. I refuse.”   


The blonde gawked, “Y… you don’t get to dictate my life Catra…”   


“Someone  _ has to _ Adora. Because you won’t  _ listen _ to anyone else, it may as well be the scary boogeywoman from your past. Someone you can get angry at. Someone you can… hate. Because I failed you before but I am  _ damned _ if I’m going to let you down again. I  _ refuse _ to let you destroy yourself because I… I’d rather you broke  _ me _ . Because at least I deserve it.”

Adora stared at her. Those blue eyes twitched and glistened with tears. Her jaw worked and her nostrils flared, “I… wanted to hate you Catra. I wanted to…” she sniffled, “I wanted you… to know how much it hurt. And I felt  _ bad _ for thinking that. I felt so  _ alone _ . And then those  _ emails _ ….” she shook her head, “But I couldn’t. So… I just  _ do stuff _ . Make sure no one can hurt me like that  _ ever _ again.”

Catra closed her eyes and nodded, “I…”

“Don’t you  _ dare _ apologise again. Don’t you fucking  _ dare _ .”   


The cat girl splayed her hands, “Then let me  _ show _ you. Let me  _ help _ . Let me make amends. Please Adora. I did a terrible thing which… you haven’t really totally forgiven me for and  _ you aren’t obliged to _ ,” she screwed her eyes up at that, “I did a terrible thing and I would do anything GIVE anything to take it back. I can’t. But I can try to stop you hurting now. And I will do that to my dying breath. So  _ please _ . Let me… let me help you. When I failed before, let me make good. Because I know part of you is still wary. Let me show you I can be better…”

Adora massaged the back of her neck and tilted her head back. She snorted and shook her head, “You want to help, huh? Salve that busted conscience?”

There’s no energy behind the barb. Catra felt it though. She managed a shudder, “I… am, yes. Because I  _ need _ to know I did right by you, just once.”

“And this wasn’t enough?” Adora’s voice is soft, distant.

_ Honesty _ . Catra needed honesty.

“No. It’s half measures. Watching you implode? Watch you wither in front of me? Or have you just… ignoring me?”   


Adora flinched, “I wasn’t…”

“You were. And, partly that’s fine,” Catra held up her hands, “Like you said, your life, your job. But… if you don’t want to spend time with me, I’d… appreciate you actually say that? Unless this is you punishing me. Which, again… you’ve done that now.”

“Puni- who do you think I am?” Adora’s voice bordered on indignant.

“I don’t know Adora! I  _ want _ to know. I want to have a conversation without you checking your phone, without some guy wanting  _ powerpoint tips _ at eight in the evening, after you said we’d have some time. Is an evening too much to ask for for reconnecting? If you don’t want to, please… please don’t give me false hope. That’s… unfair of me to ask. Unfair that I ask you to be kind to me after  _ all _ that happened. But if you don’t want me around just  _ tell _ me. I don’t want to just… exist.”

The blonde shook her head slowly, “I never want that.”

Catra’s heart fluttered and she managed a shrug, “I overstepped. Can you… forgive that?”

The Ice Queen thawed and Adora closed her eyes, “Yes. Can you… forgive me for taking calls when we should have been hanging?”

The cat girl shrugged, “I can’t  _ blame _ you. Nothing to forgive, right? But… can we actually talk through this? We’ve not actually  _ talked _ it out. Not actually put it to bed, right?”

Adora reached out and plucked her wine glass. She swirled it and nodded slowly, “That might… be for the best.”

Catra closed her eyes, “And if you want to, y’know… cut ties now, I…”

“Catra, quit while you’re ahead,” the cat girl reopened her eyes to see Adora giving her a tense, frustrated look, “Victim doesn’t suit you. Being an asshole does. I am  _ angry _ . But I am not one to just bail. You want to talk…. Let’s do this.”   


Catra gave a stiff nod, retrieved her glass, then padded to the sofa. Adora joined her, one leg folded under her as she faced the cat-girl. They stared hard at one another.

And they talked.

Catra about her experiences, her mother, the awakening and traumas of college. Her rationalisations and reasons and realisations. The crushing  _ guilt _ and slow rebuild. It was deeper than their initial conversation.

Adora listened and only asked short, sharp questions occasionally. She was silent after Catra finished, then laid out her own cards - her pain; her loneliness; the control she exhibited over her life, her way of keeping things in control. Safe. Secured. That as long as she kept  _ fighting _ there would be no more pain. Her fears that, in reality, she wasn’t going to be enough, so she  _ had _ to keep pushing.

It was harder for Adora to get it all out; Catra, however, had a gift at getting the truth out of people - it was how she did her job, after all.

After a couple of hours, Adora looked positively  _ exhausted _ . She glanced at the clock and sighed, “I need to go.”

Catra felt her gut twist, “Um… can I… suggest something?”

Adora frowned and cocked her head, “What? Uber?”   


“No… you take my bed and I’ll hit the couch.”   


“Excuse me?” Adora snorted, “I am perfectly capable…”

“ _ Imscaredyouwonttalktometomorrow _ ,” Catra cringed and bit her lip. Adora stared at her and blinked. Catra shrugged and looked away, “I’m scared that… that I have done it  _ again _ . That I wake up tomorrow and you’re gone and…. And that’s it. I thought I would be fine with that. That I deserved your hate, your anger. But it scares me shitless Adora. So… can I pretend for another few hours?”

She spread her hands helplessly and gave a wan smile. Adora regarded her and shook her head, “And you call me an idiot.”

“I… well…”   


Adora reached out and grabbed Catra’s arm, then hauled her in for a hug. A tight one. Catra returned it, her arms clinging for dear life. Adora spoke into her hair, “I was angry… but it passed. I have… stuff that bubbles up. But… honestly? It’s not about  _ you _ . Catra, you are back. You are  _ back _ . With me. Yeah, situational shocks will happened… but I can  _ never _ hate you. I tried, it didn’t work. Because I… I…”

Catra squeezed her tighter again, “You don’t need to say it. Whatever  _ it _ is… y’know. In case it’s the thing. And if it isn’t then I well… I don’t need to know…”

Adora chuckled, then paused, “So you… still feel that way?”

Catra wriggled and sighed into Adora’s shoulder, “...Yes….”

“But… you don’t  _ know _ me, Catra. You know old me, you know a… ghost.”   


Catra pulled back and stared at Adora, “Wow. Melodramatic much,” she wiped the corner of her eye and sniffled, “‘Dor… How can I  _ not _ ? You’re the girl who saves me. All the time. The girl who watches me, keeps tabs. The girl who  _ forgives  _ me. And calls me out on my crap. AND STILL forgives. Who is kind. Generous. Gentle. The girl who is STILL that Adora… my Adora. Even though I haven’t….” Catra winced, “ _ Earned _ that.”

Adora regarded her with a strange expression, which softened. She pressed her forehead to Catra’s, “This is…. Weird.”

Catra nodded, “Never go to sleep angry. That’s what your mom always says, right?”

Adora nodded and smiled, “She’d be proud of you. I hope… I hope you guys can talk soon.”

“She probably hates me.”

“She was disappointed, not gonna lie. Was on the verge of hauling you in for a talking to… but I told her no.”   


Catra winced, “Yowzer. Well, maybe it’d have knocked some sense into me.”

“Enough of that. I told you, none of that downer stuff.”

“What, you’re the only one allowed to be all self sacrificing?”

“Pretty much. So, you want to help?” Adora snorted, “What does that even mean?”   


“Um…” Catra coughed, “I, uh, had a plan. I was going to pitch it to you… after dinner.”

Adora sighed, “Oh?”

“Yeah, um… I want… to work under you. WIth you I mean. Alongside. In a consulting capacity. Of course.”

The blonde leaned back and a smirk crossed her face, “What, take my orders?”

Catra shook her head and a rueful smile crossed her face, “Not…  _ quite _ . I want to help… with the charity,” she took a breath, “See if we can’t… help it function a different way? Processes, people… ways of working?”

Adora’s gaze hardened again, “You think I’m running it badly?”

Catra went for broke, “What did we  _ just _ talk about? What did I just say about having to watch you burn out?” she reached forwards and gripped Adora’s wrists, “Look, like I said… give me a chance. Let me do what I’m good at. And… and if what I find you disagree with, toss it out. But let me try. I’m a consultant, I can’t  _ make _ you do anything. Bit… maybe an outsider’s perspective could help? Someone who  _ will _ call you on the BS, call your people on theirs? Call your… our friends on  _ their _ BS. Because you need a fucking  _ break _ Adora.”

She watched while Adora ran a hand through her hair once more. The blue eyes were warm once more and Adora heaved a sigh, “Let me sleep on it.”

Catra nodded slowly, “That’s all I can ask. Um… so… uh… bed. Let me…”

Adora huffed and stood, then pulled Catra after her. The cat-girl stumbled. Adora glanced between the two doors in the hall, then pushed open the one to the bedroom. She steered Catra towards the bed then gestured, “Which side?”

“Uh, left?”

“Good. You have a spare toothbrush?”

“...Yes?”

“Ok, can you grab it? Any night clothes?”   


“Uh… third drawer down.”   


“Cool. go brush your teeth, I’m going to get changed.”

It was surreal. Catra felt in a daze - the emotional whiplash of the past couple of hours had had an impact, clearly. She felt bruised and a bit wrung out. Bit it wasn’t  _ terrible _ . They’d managed to drain some of that unacknowledged poison. Adora had let some of it go, some of it that she probably hadn’t realised she was still carying. Catra knew how resentment could fester without you really knowing about it.

She stumbled back into her bedroom and found Adora in a set of boyshorts and a nearly-too-small shirt. Catra’s brain tried to collect itself and failed dismally. Her language centres felt like they were several software versions behind. Adora shot her an arched eyebrow, then vanished to brush her own teeth. Catra clambered into bed, still in a daze and only registered a shift when the light clicked off and a warm presence slid under the covers.

“Scoot over, fuzzbutt.”

“Huh… HEY!”

“I said scoot.”

Catra grumbled, but complied. Strong arms wrapped around her as she rolled to face out of the bed. She squeaked and she felt warm breath tickle her ear, “You… uh… um… this is a bit…”

“I’m tired, I’m cold and this was the worst first date I’ve been on.”   


Catra flushed at the words, “Uh, I… it wasn’t like supposed to be and…?” she trailed off, brain really not helping as she tried to find words.

“So, we’re scrapping it. You get one do-over.  _ After _ I make a decision about whether you work with me or not.”

Catra swallowed and tried to turn her head, “I… um.. Isn’t this a bit…?”

“Fast? It’s a first date  _ Catra _ . Don’t overthink it,” Adora’s voice was low, teasing, but there was a challenge there, “I know you… but I don’t. I  _ want _ to get to know you. I want to know if it’s worth going further. I’m not going to talk about ‘risking a friendship’ or any of that crap. If it works,  _ great _ . If it doesn’t… we’ll see where we are.”

Catra closed her eyes, both reassured and  _ not _ , “Thank you…” she breathed.

“Don’t thank me, Catra,” chuckled Adora, the sound sending warm chuffs of air into her ear, “Don’t apologise. I’m not doing you a favour, not being some sort of… thing to be won, ok? I want to… I want to know you again. I do. And… maybe we can get it right this time.”

Catra reached up and clutched Adora’s hand that was hugging the cat-girl to the blonde’s chest, “Ok. Well, I… I’m glad we talked. It hurt, but I’m glad. And I… y’know what, no…  _ thank you _ ,” she turned, awkwardly, until she was nose to nose with Adora. The blonde blinked in surprise, “Yeah, I’m thanking you. For… for just, y’know.  _ This.  _ No more apologies. That I can do. I don’t  _ want _ to apologise because I don’t want to ever do anything that means I have to. I don’t want to hurt you  _ ever _ again,” Catra’s voice was earnest, “But I am never not gonna say  _ thank you _ .”

In the dark, Catra could still see Adora blush. The girl was still a little reserved, a little cautious. She smiled, though, “Well, that’s good. Um, yes. So.”   


Catra leaned forwards and pressed her forehead against Adora’s. _ Too soon to kiss. Too much to think on. Too much being said. _

They needed some time. Some space, perhaps. But right now, it felt  _ good _ . Catra trailed a finger over Adora’s cheek, “Go to sleep, dummy. You need to think. I need to try not to worry.

Adora nodded and her eyes fluttered closed. Catra watched her, felt something warm blossom anew in her chest.

The bridge had been bombed. But it had clearly been made of sterner stuff. And she was damn sure she was going to make it  _ last _ .

As she drifted off she swore she heard something whisper in her ear. A faint suggestion. A promise perhaps? To her sleep addled mind, it even sounded like Adora.   
  
“ _ I love you too _ .”

But perhaps it was just the reachings of her overactive imagination. She had the next day to worry about, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! LAST TRAUMATIC BIT BETWEEN THESE TWO I PROMISE.
> 
> Needed this, to get over Adora's Ice Queen nature. To trigger a response.
> 
> As you can see, a fairly INVOLVED chapter. I hope you like ;) took me a while to get the feel; next one after this should be softer, so a bit... easier.
> 
> As ever, comments and feedback are appreciated!


	15. On a cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gentle morning, full of promise.
> 
> Also coffee.
> 
> But mainly... promises.

Catra wasn’t used to waking up with anyone. Not recently at any rate - her prior  _ liaisons _ had been more on the abrupt side. And anything you could jokingly refer to as a relationship was well into the realms of fantasy. The closest thing she had to a close relationship was, well,  _ DT _ . And they were not exactly a cuddler and, well , they’d never gone  _ there _ either: DT wasn’t exactly her type and, truth be told, DT had never really made advances. Though, again, it was hard to tell - DT flirted with anything with pulse and several things without one as well.

But the main point was that this sensation was relatively new, unfamiliar and absolutely  _ terrifying _ .

And that she also didn’t want it to stop.

She could feel Adora. Feel the blonde’s arms wrapped around her like a cocoon of warmth. Feel the hot, steady breath against her fluttering ear, which twitched as Catra slowly drew towards proper consciousness. 

It was the closest to peace she’d felt in a long long time. She basked in it.

With a sigh she adjusted herself and felt the blonde tighten her grip, then nuzzle the back of Catra’s neck. She couldn’t help the disbelieving grin that snuck onto her face, nor the flush that crept up underneath her fur. Her tail, she realised, was coiled tight around Adora’s thigh. 

“Wass’time?” came the muffled question from behind her. Catra snorted.

“Early. No alarm.”

“Good,” the blonde squeezed her then sighed. Catra turned her head, and managed to get an awkward look at the blonde.

“What, you aren’t up early, every day doing gym or something?”

A blue eye peeked back through a cascade of messy blonde hair and Catra felt her heart flutter under that gaze. Adora huffed, “ _ Sometimes _ . But mornings are evil.”

“No argument here,” Catra’s voice came out as a purr, “You gonna let me move?”

“No,” Adora flopped back down and  _ somehow _ burrowed closer, “Work later, warm now.”

Catra chuckled and settled back, the pair easily sliding back into a gentle doze as they rode out the morning. Catra drifted in and out, then flopped around, hands grasping for her phone. She realised that, despite having a large bed with two cabinets… she’d left her phone on Adora’s side out of habit. Her brain then did a weird short circuit as she realised she’d referred to it as  _ Adora’s side _ .

Something to file away for LATER clearly. With a groan, still half asleep, she reached over the blonde to grapple for her phone. Which meant she was basically on  _ top _ of Adora. Something she only really registered when a muffled  _ ahem _ came from below

Catra blinked, then slowly looked down, where her t-shirt sagged down and draped over Adora’s chest. She froze and looked into a pair of  _ very _ awake blue eyes. Adora had that smug grin on her face and one eyebrow arched, “Seriously Catra, not even one date down and already you’re climbing…”

The brunette gave a surprised shriek and yanked herself back, phone in hand. Except Adora’s hand came up and snagged her wrist. The blonde easily plucked the phone from Catra and held it away, over the edge of the bed. Catra sat back and huffed, “Adora, seriously?”

“ _ Adora seriously… _ ” mimicked the blonde. Her grin was insufferable and also ridiculously cute, “Fair’s fair. You took my phone I took yours.”

Catra frowned and winced, then opened her mouth. She closed it again, “Uh yeah… and…”

Adora shuffled up on her elbows, the blanket falling down to reveal that too-tight shirt. Catra made sure she maintained eye contact. Adora noticed and raised an eyebrow approvingly. Then she smiled softly and proffered the phone, “I forget… we’re not back  _ there _ yet. I forgot last night when you took the phone. And now.”

The cat-girl took the phone, but didn’t look at it, “Was, uh… just gonna mute the alarm, y’know? Not fielding work calls at… 6:30, y’know?”

“Maybe. Never know,” Adora flopped back, her eyes still on Catra, “Anyway… another thing.”

“Yeah?”

“C’mere,” Adora beckoned and Catra lay back down and shuffled closer to the blonde, who enveloped her in a gentle hug, “I meant what I said about the date. I meant that I want to get to know you again. But only… only if  _ you _ want to, ok?”

Catra nodded, then pulled back, her mismatched amber and blue eyes searching those earnest, grey-blue ones, “Um, duh.”

Adora snorted and nodded, “Good.”

They stared and one another and Catra made a vague gesture, “Shouldn’t this… feel more awkward? Like, we had a real set to, y’know? Tore strips. And now we’re in bed?”

“Rock my world first, then we can talk about awkward wakeups,” Adora grinned again and Catra fell back.

“ADORA! Shut UP!”   


“Nope. I refuse to go by social norms. Refuse to just… not  _ talk _ because that’s what is expected, or we should feel weird,” Adora raised a hand and pointed at the ceiling, “To infinity! AND BEYOND! With maybe sex at some point!”

Catra couldn’t help but laugh. It came out as a rushed gasp but the pressure evaporated. A pressure she hadn’t known was there. She’d expected a stilted talk, maybe some sort of weird back and forth that ended with Adora scuttling out of the apartment. She hadn’t factored in Adora’s natural talent for lightening the mood, her normal  _ goofiness _ . Something she hadn’t realised she’d missed. It’d been a staple of High School - Adora being a high-achiever, an athlete and also a complete dork. Her sense of humour and need to make others feel relaxed and comfortable had been one of the things that drew people to her.

She wasn’t afraid to be silly; something Catra had seen  _ weaponised _ in that presentation - Adora being earnest, but playful. Setting up the  _ I’m just a silly blonde _ joke only to follow up with that  _ but I know my shit _ attitude.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and wheezed, “You can’t… just… set expectations like that!”

“What, afraid you can’t live up to the hyyyyyyyype!” Adora dipped her voice to sound like some sort of wrestling announcer and Catra smacked her.

“Alright ya goof. Someone’s awake.”

“Yeah, and not even for a good reason!” Adora sighed, then tilted her head to look at Catra. Her face serious, “It got heavy, didn’t it?”

“What, you had  _ a glass of wine _ Adora… don’t tell me you don’t… remember?” Catra’s voice wavered and Adora snorted, then shoved her.

“I’m not that much of a lush, y’know. I remember. Like i said, I want to see where this… goes, ok? And I will do my damndest that we at least stay friends if this doesn’t work, ok? Ok. But, yeah…. I was thinking. I want,” Adora took a breath, then exhaled through her nose, “I want you to help me. BUT that means we’ll be working together. And I really don’t want that to… mesh with whatever, ok?”

Catra frowned, “Not… quite following?”

Adroa turned on her side, “I want to date you. But I also think that, yeah… I could do with some insight. So, I propose a  _ limited run _ of Catra’s expertise, ok? And then  _ after _ that, we can try… this. Provided I don’t piss you off. And visa versa.”

Catra studied then blonde and pursed her lips, “You want the full Catra consultant experience? ‘Cos that  _ might _ piss you off.”

“I expect my money’s worth.”

“I’m doing this… pro bono?” Catra gave a shrug, “If I get sign off from… Netossa, y’know? And, well…. I know I didn’t ask and…”

“Work it out. If nothing else we get to spend some time together and you can maybe see me as  _ me _ . And I can… see you. Properly.”

The way she said  _ properly _ felt weird and Catra studied the blonde, who now seemed pensive. Her gaze had glazed over and Catra could tell she was over-analysing something. It was strange to see that expression again; it’d been a bit of a staple of High-School Adora, but not one she’d really seen from  _ this _ Adora. She reached out tentatively and tapped the blonde’s forehead.

“You look like you’re getting  _ lost _ in there baaaa,” she trailed off of the word and Adora blinked. And then grinned.

“Wow. Pet names already?”

“Adora, if you don’t shut up.”

“What, I didn’t say anything.”

“You literally just did.”   


“I mean, I knew you li-”

“Shut. Up.”

“How  _ embarrassing _ . Again.”

“You are the  _ worst _ Adora,” Catra groaned and covered her face. She peered through her fingers and tried to glare at her friend. The blonde adjusted herself on the pillow and shrugged.

“But you don’t feel awkward, right?” her smile wasn’t smug. It was gentle. Catra huffed.

“No. Just… y’know…. The usual.”   


“Propositioned?”

Catra tried for a glare again as she slipped her hands from her face. She shoved Adora’s shoulder gently, “Bold of you to assume sex was on the cards Adora.”   


The blonde met her gaze and, for the briefest moment, looked a little uncertain, “Um.”

“You talked about boundaries yesterday. What if I’m asexual, huh? Or maybe I’m...”

Adora blinked, mortified all of a sudden, “Oh gosh… I …. I didn’t even.”   


Catra couldn’t help the cackle that burst out, but felt a little guilty, “Ok, that was funny.”

The blonde huffed and looked away, but she clearly couldn’t help the smile. She shuffled and looked at Catra carefully, “Alright, you got me. And,... if you were ace... Or there were  _ other _ things to… think about,” she swallowed and placed her hand down on the mattress, palm up, “I’d do whatever you needed me to.”

The brunette stared at her, her smile now gooey and sentimental, “Sheesh Adora… when did you get so…. Soppy?”

“Always was, you know that.”   


“With me I mean.”

“Always was,” Adora gave another half shoulder shrug, then smiled as Catra reached over and laced her hand with Adora’s, “So, not awkward?”

“Not awkward.”

“And we’re going to talk. I mean… we did a  _ lot _ . But… without that whole dark cloud, right?”

“Yeah. So, you’re cool with me helping?”

“You cool with waiting and then maybe dating afterwards?”

“What’s this  _ maybe _ ?”

“I’m giving you… you know… and out in case this whole experience… is too much,” Adora sighed and rolled onto her back, hand still intertwined with Catra’s, “I know what everyone says about me. About  _ work _ me… and, well… me  _ now _ . I’m detached. Hard. Cold.  _ Focused _ . And I  _ am _ . You’re… going to see that. It’s how I have to be. And it may make you change your mind.”   


Catra studied the other woman, taking in the profile, the spread of her blonde hair, the flush on her pale cheeks. She squeezed Adora’s hand, “What happened to seeing where this goes?” Adora turned her head and frowned, “Calling the result before we’ve even started. Let  _ me _ judge if I like you, ok? Remember, I’m the one with ground to gain.”

The blonde chuckled as Catra gave her a small grin, then bounced their entangled fingers, “Fair. So, what’s a girl gotta do around her to get a pre-work coffee?”

Catra snorted, then struggled upright. Her hand slipped from Adora’s as she clambered out of bed and she sighed at the loss of contact. A moment later though, she heard the taller girl struggle from beneath the covers and hop after her, recapturing her hand. Giggling the pair meandered back to the kitchen. They surveyed the abandoned burritos and Adora harrumphed. Catra ran a hand through her hair, “Huh… um…”   


The blonde squeezed her hand, “No awkward shit. You get coffee, I’ll clear the mess.”

They set to it, Adora’s focus almost scary with how her eyebrows scrunched and her jaw set. Catra watched her as she grappled for coffee mugs, her gaze taking in how Adora moved with laser-precision around the unfamiliar kitchen. The food vanished into the trash, the plates went under the tap and were scrubbed clean; then towelled off and placed away. Wine glasses rinsed out, the bottle placed into the recycling. It wasn’t arduous, but Adora had it all cleared by the time Catra had finished pouring two mugs of black coffee.

It was the fact Catra’s coffee was  _ black _ that seemed to stump Adora. She actually pointed at the mug, “No milk?”

“It’s before ten AM. I need the hit.”

Adora nodded, her face blank and Catra realised the girl was committing that to memory. She felt a small buzz of pleasure at that. Adora sighed and looked about, then leaned against the counter, “I need to head into the office… mind if I grab a shower, quickly, then, um… head off?” Catra didn’t miss the strange, wistful lilt to Adora’s voice.

“Um, of.. Of course you can. Um, all ok?”

The blonde gave an uncharacteristically shy smile, “Um. Y’know. Kind of don’t  _ want _ to go,” she seemed surprised and stared into the middle distance, “I… huh. I don’t want to go to work.”

Catra gave a throaty chuckle, “Wow, not even on the job and I’m makin’ progress,” she supped her coffee and watched the girl in front of her, “But… for fear of jinxing this… whatever this is now? I don’t want to keep you…”

Adora arched an eyebrow, the shy look moving into that familiar wry gaze, “Oh you don’t?”

Catra flushed and looked away, “Shut up Adora, you know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

Catra closed her eyes, sighed, then rolled her shoulders and then her neck. Her tail twitched and she opened her eyes to stare at the blonde. She was rewarded with a blush across Adora’s face and the clear sign of the other girl swallowing, “Yeah. You do. Now, go wash, get ready, go rock the charity world. I need to go… sort my life out so I can sort  _ your _ life out.”

“Hey!” Adora frowned at her and Catra shrugged.

“Don’t start fights you can’t follow through on. You aren’t a hero? Fine. You can be the damsel,” Catra grinned, her canines on display now. Adora glowered.

“Who’s the damsel?”

Catra shrugged, “You think I need saving?”

Adora paused, her coffee mug clutched in between both hands. She drummed her fingernails on it and Catra saw that the girl was giving it a  _ lot _ of consideration. That felt weird. The blonde shrugged, “I did. A while back. After the… whole high school thing. Thought about riding to your rescue, y’know? And… like I said last night, after I heard about the centres… oh god did I want to. But, well… the emails and everything.”   


They lapsed into silence and Catra felt a sudden weight begin to build in her chest. But then Adora set her mug down and walked up to her. Catra watched as the blonde tentatively took the mug from her and set it aside. The cat-girl blinked, owlishly, “Adora?”

“You aren’t a damsel. I won’t deny I saw you like that. And… in the club? Well, yeah. I think… I think I’ll always chase you, Catra. Always want to save you. Protect you.”

Adora held Catra’s hands in hers and smiled at her. Catra swallowed again, then winced, “Dammit Adora, I’m not gonna cry before work.”

The blonde smiled and blinked. Catra could see the girl’s eyes were wet, “Maybe. But I kind of want to.”

“I should’ve… been better. Should’ve been better for you.”

“None of that. Let me finish,” chided Adora. And then she kissed Catra’s knuckles, “I have… issues, I know. I  _ know _ . But we were kids, Catra. I know I said this last night, know we’ve said a lot of things. But it’s morning. It’s a new day. There was pain yesterday we  _ had _ to get through. And now… I just want to say it again: we see where this goes, and who we are to each other  _ now _ . Not rescuing each other, not hurting each other. I want to protect you and… I hope you want to help me?”

Catra nodded vigorously and she suddenly wanted to kiss Adora. She wanted it  _ so much _ . But it was too soon. Wasn’t it?

Adora let her off the hook and leaned down slightly to press a kiss, so softly, against the corner of Catra’s mouth. She pulled back and smiled. Catra blinked and felt suddenly adrift. Should she lean in? Take another? Try to initiate?

Another kiss against her knuckles drew her attention. Her eyes met Adora’s and the blonde smiled, “Sorry… couldn’t resist.”

Catra blinked as Adora squeezed her hands and made to pull away. But the cat-girl’s grip was tight, “Nope. Nuh uh. You do  _ not _ get to leave me hanging,” and she yanked Adora back. She gripped the sides of Adora’s face gently and pushed her forehead against the blondes, then leaned forwards slightly to place a gentle, tentative kiss against her lips. It was chaste, full of promise and hope.

They pulled apart slowly, both breathing heavily. Adora blinked, “Wow….”

Catra, for her part snorted, “Don’t… say anything stupid.”

Adora arched one dark eyebrow, “Like that, y’mean?”

“Shut up you. Go. Shower. Before I just… kiss you again.”

“That a bad thing?”

“Right now? Um… no… but it’ll make the next couple of weeks.. Difficulty.”   


Adora nodded seriously, “Ok, gotcha,” then she leaned forwards and kissed Catra again. The brunette froze, blinked, then almost stumbled forward as Adora pulled away, chasing the kiss as her eyes fluttered. The blonde grinned, then danced away towards the bathroom. Catra blinked  _ again _ then shrieked and darted after the other girl.

“ADORA!”

The blonde paused at the bathroom door, turned and let Catra pounce at her. The brunette practically wrapped herself around the blonde and then kissed her again, her tongue tracing a line over the blonde’s lower lip. They pushed their foreheads together and stared into each other’s eyes. Catra realised, faintly, that Adora was holding her up, hands cupping under her thighs. And no sign of strain. Adora stared at her and grinned, “Hi.”   


“I am going to climb you like a freakin’ tree when we get this… consulting thing done.”

“Sure you don’t want to skip it?”

That made Catra swallow _hard._ She twitched, “I.. want to help first. And… and…”

Adora’s smile was teasing and she winked, “Well then, let me go for a shower to cool off… or else neither of us is getting to work on time.”

Catra yowled and pushed her head into the crook of Adora’s neck, “ARG! I hate teenager me. I could’ve… WE could've been... ugh.”

Adora chuckled and nuzzled her ear, “Teenager you… was an asshole. But We’re past that. Also, your mom is a complete ass, so let's blame her. We can… get to know each other again. I think this is a damn good start too,” Catra gasped as Adora nipped the tip of her ear with her teeth, then stared at the blonde with a faintly dazed expression. Adora looked flushed, here eyes wide, but seemed to be trying to maintain a vague semblance of decorum. Just. She managed a throaty, “Down, kitty...please?”

Catra nodded and slowly, carefully put her legs down. Her tail was wrapped around Adora’s arm and was slower to disentangle. She was happy to note Adora seemed  _ equally _ dazed and  _ barely _ keeping her composure. The blonde grinned, gave Catra another kiss, then slid into the bathroom. The brunette practically staggered into the bedroom and faceplanted on the bed, just as she heard the shower start up. It was going to be a  _ long _ couple of weeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter, a transition one before we leapt into our last third of the story. Felt a bit of a creative block this week, so I hope this is ok. I will be refining the ideas and ironing things out never fear. But I wanted to show that... these two are OK. And that Adora doesn't DO awkward. Not ANYMORE.
> 
> Yeah she falls of tables when she hears a love confession. But this is the chapter equivalent of her putting her mother effing hair tie in...
> 
> And what with all the GLOOM AND DOOM... I wanted to show these two being, well... their old selves, but with fewer barriers. A precursor of what's to come.
> 
> PREPARE FOR AWKWARD IN OFFICE FLIRTING AND TRYING TO KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER.
> 
> And watch as everyone around them has to DEAL WITH IT.


	16. Laying it all out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra pitches her idea to her bosses, who provide some constructive feedback.
> 
> Adora chimes in. She is TOTALLY NOT HELPING Catra's focus.

“This is a terrible idea.”

Catra glowered across the conference room table to where Netossa was leaning. The woman had her chin planted in the palm of her hand, elbow on the table, with an amused expression levelled at Catra and her presentation. Spinnerella, who sat next to her, made a _tsk_ ing noise and swatted at her wife.

“Oh no, this is going to be _glorious_ ,” came DT’s contribution from where they lounged in another chair to the side. Catra shot them a look.

“Why are you even here?”

“Moral support, darling.”

Catra deadpanned, “So helpful, ugh,” DT merely smirked and raised their coffee cup, “Anyway, it’s not a bad idea. It _makes sense_. We get good involvement with the charity, we get credit for pro bono, we get some of their clients and gigs….”

Netossa snorted, “Yeah, it’s not a bad idea. I said it’s a _terrible_ idea.”

“But…”

“Oh not from a business perspective, Catra. I mean, we’ve got connections…”

“Have you ever _worked_ with Ad...the charity?”

The married consultants exchanged a knowing look, then Netossa continued, “Well, no.”

“See! I get our foot in the door.”

“...but we _know_ Adora. And, well, she hasn’t let us within a mile of the professional aspect. Crowbars wouldn’t let her let go of it.”

“Well she’s agreed.”

Netossa pursed her lips, “Yeah and that worries me.”

Catra flung up her hands whilst her tail swished behind her. She sagged into a chair, huffed then straightened, “Alright. Hit me. You’ve got another binder of development points and weaknesses we need to build on, right?”

Spinnerella tried to hide her grin and Netossa glowered, “Those were _talking points_. And incredibly relevant.”

Catra nodded quickly, as she realised she was, perhaps, pushing things, “Um, yes. Very good. So, uhhhh… feedback?”

Netossa wound up and raised a finger, “Ok, first….” then Spinnerella laid a hand on her shoulder. The silver-haired woman clamped her mouth shut and glanced at her wife. Spinnerella smiled gently, then adjusted the purple shawl across her rich lilac suit. She fixed a kind stare on Catra.

“Are _you_ sure about this?”

The question seemed inane. Catra opened her mouth then paused as she noted the faint smile and arched eyebrow on Spinnerella’s face. She swallowed, then pushed on, “Honestly… no. But I _need_ to do this. It’s _important_.”

Spinnerella cocked her head, “Adora, right?”

“Like I said… in the presentation, this will help her too. Help break her own cycle.”

DT chuckled, “And can’t hurt your chances, huh babe?”

Catra twitched then sagged, “It… I’m…”

“Long way to go for some sort of redemption, kid. Pro bono consultancy to chance a person?” Netossa frowned, “You see why we think this is a _terrible_ idea?”

“No! I really don’t!” Catra sighed. But she really _did_. She just didn’t want to admit it.

Spinnerella sighed, “You’ve done how many risk assessments on projects now, Catra? You even have one in here. But _Adora_ isn’t on it.”

“She’s… not…”

“A material aspect of the project?” chuckled Netossa, “Hun, she _is_ the project. So, let’s factor that under project failure. What happens if that is the outcome? What does _failure_ look like?”

Catra swallowed, “Uh….”

Spinnerella _tsk_ ed again and shoved her wife, “Working with someone you care about is fraught with risk, challenge and animosity. Little things will irk. And you aren’t just spending time with her. You will be scrutinising her, subjecting her to critique, unpacking _everything_ she does. Or at least that’s what you _should_ do…”

That got Spinnerella another flat look from Catra, “First off… when do we _ever_ get _that_ critical with clients? Never. We advise. But we _do not_ go that deep. We’d never get repeat business.”

The married couple exchanged a look and shrugged, “Point,” answered Netossa, “But you’re still gonna be all up in her face, pointing out her flaws.”

Catra flopped back, “That’s the POINT! That’s what we AGREED! It’s… it’s a sort of test. A chance to, y’know… for me to _help_? To see if I CAN help! To make… let her just not be so massively uptight.”

That got three sets of eyes rolling and DT snorted, “Kitten, if what I hear is true, that girl has a rod so stiff up her ass you could spin her like a top. Not that kind of top mind, though do tell…”

Catra flushed and glared at DT, “Not. Another. Word.”

“Ouch, touchy. DO I hear wedding bells?” DT smirked then ducked as Catra threw a pen at them, “Alright, touchy subject.”

Netossa shot her other employee a glare, “Back off DT.”

They held their hands up apologetically, “I am contrite. But Catra _does_ need to know how invested she is… and I think we can see she _is_ invested.”

Netossa and Spinnerella sighed at the same time, then looked at each other. They had one of those silent conversations made up of arched eyebrows, micro shrugs and faint huffs that resulted in Netossa gesturing in a “ _go on then”_ way to Catra. Spinnerella grinned then turned her gentle smile on Catra once more. For her part, the feline returned her own wry smirk, “Hit me then _Spinny_.”

“We’re worried because working with someone you… love?” Catra twitched and Spinnerella nodded, “Someone you _care_ about a lot is very difficult and comes with risk, like we said.” 

Catra levelled a clawed finger at the two women, “You two are not in a position to critique.”

Spinnerella’s own smile slipped from gentle to wry, her eyebrow becoming arched. It was a surprising look, as she was usually the softer of the pair. Netossa bit her lip, leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling, her body screaming _Here it comes_.

“Oh we are. Three near divorces, a threat to start up rival agencies and a near punch up outside.”

Catra blinked in shock and DT gasped, then rallied, “But I bet the makeup sex was _amazing_.”

Spinnerella turned to stare at DT, then said, “We broke two beds and the suspension of Netossa’s convertible. Also, had four noise complaints levelled at us. We had to move.”

DT opened their mouth, closed it, then whistled with a genuinely shocked expression on their face, _“Daaaaaaamn.”_

Netossa choked slightly as she chuckled, but Catra could make out that the woman had gone bright red. For her own part, her ears were flattened back and her tail was ramrod straight. Spinnerella turned her gaze back to Catra, “So, you see we _know_ the risks. But we were… established. We’d been dating a while. Joined the firm at different times. We had a foundation. _You_ are going in on sandy footing. You’ve already had an argument, right? Hence… this?”

Catra chewed her lip and nodded slowly, “It… it was… tense.”

“So are you willing to risk something even worse? Any good relationship be it business or _personal_ needs communication, not just charging in waving a flag with a dream. It’s not all grand declarations and make up… fun times. You’ve done so _well_ with this bridge building, isn’t this a big risk? A step...”

The sensation of being berated by her mother swam into Catra’s mind and she shrank into her chair suddenly. The gently, chastising voice that Spinnerella was using as she laid out the challenges that Netossa and her had faced, the pain, the debates, the heartache. She felt herself shiver and saw Spinnerella falter, the larger woman suddenly seeming to _see_ Catra for the first time.

“...Catra?”

The feline turned her blue and gold eyes on Spinnerella, “You sound like my _mom_ .” 

That froze the woman. Her employers _knew_ about her past, of course - hard not to after all the declarations. She saw Spinnerella blink, shocked. The usually affable woman now looked suddenly confused. Netossa sat up, her posture defensive as she saw her wife had been called out, but she also slowed as she regarded Catra. Spinnerella swallowed, “Um… uh, I didn’t mean…”

“No, I know,” Catra’s voice was low, monotone, “But she was all about what I _couldn’t_ do. Why it wasn’t _worth_ trying. WHy I should be _happy_ with what I have. Accept it.” 

Netossa glanced at her wife and licked her lips slowly, “That’s not what Spinny meant…” but her wife’s hand flashed up in a gesture of _not now_. Catra nodded slowly.

“Maybe not. But it’s what it _sounds_ like, ok? You’re consultants, we all are. We talk about what _risks_ are. How to _improve_ or… not do things, right? But you guys…. You see Adora as this ice queen, this fragile thing, this brittle… thing. You see me as the broken bird, right? Some pity case?”

DT slowly sat up, “Uh, kitten…”

Catra shook her head and straightened herself, “No, it’s ok DT. I’m not _mad_ . But I need all of you to understand. _We_ are not broken. We are bruised. But Adora and me, we learn through pain. We need to go to the mat, we need to just…. Slug each other, y’know? Bare it out. It’s how we used to do it, how our humour works, how _we_ work. And we need to get to know each other again.”

Netossa blew out a breath, “And, what, several bottles of wine, a few dinner dates, maybe a comedy show and some freaky sex won’t do that for you?”

Catra sputtered, then grinned. The tension in the room lifted slightly, but Spinnerella still looked pained. Catra ignored it for the moment and shrugged, “This is our… trial by fire. Break Adora of that ice queen habit maybe. See if we still can… _like_ each other. Dolling up and going on cutesy dates down by the pier? Ice cream? Small talk? Nah. We tried that. We just…. There’s other things we need to get past. And working together, seeing the worst? Yeah, that’s probably a good way to go all in. To see if we can be _partners_ . Get our flow back as friends, back and forth.” 

“You should’ve led with that,” smirked Netossa.

Spinnerella shook herself, “Um… I am…”

Catra waved her hand, “Yeah um, just… don’t condescend, please Spinny? You’re amazing, kind and friendly… best boss, ok? But… don’t talk to me like a child. Don’t talk to me about what _doesn’t_ work for you as if it _won’t_ work for me. You do that to a client you _know_ . But you only know that I’ve been hurting. And this is me _healing_.”

The room fell silent and Catra sagged back, suddenly drained by the show of bravado. The others looked at her and Netossa laughed, “Got brass ones, C… brass ones.”

“Please don’t fire me,” muttered Catra staring straight ahead. Spinnerella sighed, then laced her fingers together.

“Oh don’t worry,” she managed, with a faint smile on her face, “I… my words come from a place of fear, Catra. I don’t want to see either of you hurting. Because we _love_ you both. I mean that. And… well, we can get a bit concerned with things close to us. I suppose that is the real message I was trying to convey, _badly_ . You’re close to this - can you _be_ objective?"

She regarded Catra, who returned her gaze impassively. Then the cat girl shrugged and smirked, “Well, I hope so. I kinda want to see if I can break a bedframe….”

The four dissolved into snorts of laughter. Netossa shook her head, red faced again and DT was practically horizontal as they slapped the table. Spinnerella covered her mouth and wheezed, then shook her head, “I still think it’s a risky idea. Because…. We want this to work. But if this is how you two _used_ to operate, then maybe it’s a worthwhile risk.”

“Don’t let word get out, or the furniture stores’ll up their prices,” chuckled Netossa.

“Hey, Angella was totally on board with this,” chided Catra, “I spoke to her and the Sparkle twins.”

The married couple shared a knowing glance and rolled their eyes, “Well of course Angella was on board. That woman is _queen_ of bad ideas.” 

“Uhhhh, what?” Catra glanced between the two women.

“Has she ever told you how she and Micah got together?” Netossa grimaced.

“Nooooo?” offered Catra.

Spinnerella huffed, “I swear… it was _the most_ convoluted, asinine, ridiculous series of steps.”

“The corvette,” mused Netossa.

“That parade float,” nodded Spinnerella.

“Those actresses she hired to make him jealous.”

“What about the football team?”

“Oh gods no, that was terrible.”

“The police report… oh god, four hours of being questioned.”

“We never did find out how she got that much toilet paper. And how she covered the drama wing of the College.”

“And then there was that whole debacle with the deserts at that party.”

Catra watched them as if it was a tennis volley, “What the hell?”

Netossa shrugged, “He was scared to ask her out. She thought he needed to. So… she tried to force the issue.”

Spinnerella shook her head, “Ten months. It took _ten months_. Maybe longer, it all blurs a little as finals got in the way. Nearly tore the college in two.”

The pair shuddered, “There was almost a musical number, I swear. It was like being in a friggin’ Disney movie,” muttered Netossa.

“She… what? She dated other… wait what?” Catra felt lost.

“Oh no, she didn’t date anyone. Fake dated. Tried to… anyway, neither of them dated. So, um, when it finally happened…”

Again they shuddered and their gazes became glassy. Netossa shook her head again, “And they said our noise complaints were bad.”

Spinnerella nodded slowly, “Who knew those sort of sounds….”

DT was staring, “Um, ladies… this doesn’t sound like an abject warning. More like an advert.”

Catra glanced between them, “You guys almost seem… jealous?”

The pair jolted back to life and Spinnerella grimaced, “No. You had to be there. It was _awful_ . And we thought _we_ were bad with our star crossed lovers schtick. Those two take the cake. They STILL haven’t got it out of their system.”

Catra chuckled, her laugh a squeaky snort, “And they say straight people are bad at this shit.”

“Those two must’ve learned yearning from some sort of travelling lesbian shaman,” grumbled Netossa, “I swear, rom com level bullshit. _Anyway_ , the point is that _of course_ she thinks this is a great idea. She loves some excessively complicated plans. But since you don’t want to do candle light and simple, frank conversations, why not go with exceedingly complex and emotionally dangerous intensity.”

The four settled into silence, with DT firing a triumphant smirk at Catra, who grinned back. Spinnerella sighed and gestured at the presentation, “Alright. You have permission to use company material for this. BUT! And it’s a big caveat… this is _your_ baby, Catra. You own it. You run with it.”

Catra inhaled and nodded, palms on the table. Her heart thudded as she nodded, “Gotcha, make it work or break it, right?”

“Try not to break it. Or you, ok dear?” smiled Spinnerella, “I suppose I see the merits of… reforging something through a crucible.”

The younger woman nodded, her ears flattened again, “I think… this is Adora’s way of _showing_ me more of her? So I can see if it’s what I want. She said as much but I think it’s deeper than just ‘here’s my workspace and what I do.’”

The married consultants nodded in sync, Netossa then offering Catra a shrug, “Well… that’s more than she’s done for any of us. But then again, I don’t think she want to fu-”

“Now now dear, none of that,” Chided Spinnerella, “This is… them reconnecting. But anyway, Catra. This is all yours. We’ll still expect contributions on your billing projects, of course, but we can shuffle some other things around. And I would advise maybe telling Angella all the details _after_ you’ve done your initial review. She’ll just try to give you…. Pointers.” 

The two women shuddered again, Netossa’s gaze going full thousand-yard for a moment. DT snorted, then stood, “Ok, well, I guess that’s code for _hey DT, your workload just doubled_ . Thanks Kitten.” 

Catra grinned and DT stuck their tongue out, then sauntered from the room. The senior consultants got to their feet and offered their own smirks. Netossa shook her head, “It’s insane… but on reflection… maybe it’ll work? We’ve never offered a consulting solution to a client we wanted to screw before. Not in that way at least.”

Spinnerella shot her a look, “There were clients you wanted to screw, hmmm?” and with that she swept from the room. Catra caught the faint smile on her face, which Netossa must have missed; the silver-haired woman paled and jogged after her wife.

“Wait, Spinny, no, not… not what I meant!”

Catra leaned back in the chair and ran her hand through her hair, “What the heck have I gotten myself into?” she fished her cellphone out and tapped a message, then sent it.

**_Catra:_ ** _Got the third degree._

The response was practically instantaneous.

**_Adora:_ ** _So the teachers let you out to play?_

**_Catra:_ ** _Wait are we doing schoolgirl roleplay? That’s WAY too early in the relationship_

**_Adora:_ ** _Bold of you to assume_

**_Catra:_ ** _Uh huh yeah like you can’t stop thinking of me in a short skirt and a tie right now._

Catra smirked as she saw the typing indicator flash on and off for a good five minutes. She swivelled in her chair and chewed a claw, eyes wide. She felt a warmth begin to pool and shifted her legs slightly. The response came through eventually.

**_Adora:_ ** _u sure we can’t skip consulting stuff and just……_

**_Catra:_ ** _Use your words Adora. I can’t parse “....”_

**_Adora:_ ** _I am going to wreck you, Catra. Bring your A Game._

**_Catra:_ ** _Spinny did say broken bedframes were a possibility._

**_Adora:_ ** _WTF?_

**_Catra:_ ** _I know. Kinda torn between needing brain bleach and wanting 2 take notes._

 **_Catra:_ ** _Also apparently Angella + Micah are life goals for crazy pining? Who knew._

**_Adora:_ ** _U want 2 see something funny, ask Glimmer about it. She freaking WHIMPERS. Some trauma there methinks._

**_Catra:_ ** _METHINKS? What are you, a frikkin bard? Did u fall out of a fantasy novel?_

**_Adora:_ ** _Duh. Yours. Admit it, you want me in a fur bikini._

**_Catra:_ ** _…._

 **_Catra:_ ** _I can neither confirm nor deny._

**_Adora:_ ** _You want my sword, right?_

Catra glanced at the door, pondering for a scarily long time whether she could get away with maybe a quick few minutes, if this kept up, of some sort of _relief_.

**_Catra:_ ** _Not fair - in the office! ALSO! Not done Consulting yet!_

**_Adora:_ ** _So? I’m in the office too. And what, you want me to send over a slide deck?_

That sent Catra’s brain to a particular place that was arousing and _highly confusing_. Powerpoint and naked images of Adora felt wrong and yet…. Weirdly kind of hot.

**_Catra:_ ** _I’m more of a spreadsheet gal._

**_Adora:_ ** _did you just dad joke before we even started cyber sexing?_

**_Catra:_ ** _this is NOT cyber sexing. This is sexting. Cyber sexing is, like, early sci fi tv stuff? Right? Involves mullets and dial up and shit?_

**_Adora:_ ** _Nerd_

**_Catra:_ ** _Dork - also we said we'd BEHAVE._

**_Adora:_ ** _Fine, mood killer. But you will be spreading sheets after we get this done._

Catra was clearly going to die. When had Adora become so…. _Aggressive?_ Well, she’d _always_ been that way, when she thought on it. It’s just normally it was about - or _had been_ about - winning a trophy, or a competition, or… more recently, her business. And now _Catra_ was that focus. She thought back to their old interactions at school - the push and pull, the teasing, the levelling of insults at one another that (to anyone else) would've cut and diced, but between them were like two people fencing. The sheer _joy_ of it.

Catra chuckled as she finally clocked they had, basically, been _flirting_ all that time. And that little thrill back then? Yeah, not just friendship. It had been warmth, safety.

Life. Fucking _life_ was a bitch. A pain she'd had the self awareness of a dazed frikking snail.

But that realisation, the sudden familiarity that this was now _real_ and that Adora had FULLY zeroed in on her? The thought was exhilarating and a little terrifying. Great because _holy hell_ the BENEFITS of that level of dedication if she was the recipient? But also… was she just a trophy? They’d talked about this, yeah, but it still nagged at her. Was she just going to be conquered and then be done with? Was she a tick box in this terrifying version of Adora’s objective list?

Blue eyes swam in her memory, staring at her as they roused from tangled sleep. The sheer _intensity_ and mix of emotions on Adora’s face.

Catra crossed her legs and sighed as she squeezed her thighs together. When had she gotten so frikking _needy_?

 **_Catra:_ ** _Promise?_

Adora’s response was, again, instantaneous.

 **_Adora:_ ** _Promise_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this could get spicy. I'm at the VERY LEAST going to tease the every loving HELL out of all of you. Also, I wanted a slightly more humorous chapter after... the OTHER ONES. We won;t be going comedy, given the subject matter, and there will be some more sober moments. BUT..
> 
> We're going into CUTE and TEASE territory now kids. Some minor, meaningful conversations. But now we get them actually BUILDING SOMETHING!
> 
> Oh there may be fighting... but shall we see if they can get through this consultation unscathed? :D (And by unscathed, I mean keeping hands off one another)
> 
> As ever - comments on what you liked / didn't like / if you feel this is HIDEOUSLY out of place ;D


	17. Excavations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra see's Adora's office and meets some of her interesting co-workers.

Catra wasn’t quite sure what she’d been expecting. She was a corporate shill - she knew this. She embraced it. She enjoyed a glass of wine after work in a trendy bar now and then. She liked working in large, glass buildings with nearby generic coffee places. She  _ tolerated _ the cardboard excuses for sandwiches sold by the sort of cafes that catered to corporate shills like her. She almost subsisted on the coffee from there too.

But the charity sector? She’d always envisioned it either operating out of some boarded up transient shelter in the low-rent part of the city; or housed in some tax-deductible office funded by some wealthy patron who felt they were “doing good in the community”. The sort of office that moonlighted as a stately home in some of the older countries and played host to  _ cheese _ tastings or whisky and cigar nights.

She hadn’t expected a trendy new build in a rather artsy part of town; part of some sort of communal office share startup. Yes, Adora’s very interesting presentation (She hadn’t exactly been focused on the slides, if she was being entirely honest with herself) had indicated a level of corporate nouse. Adora’s whole  _ bearing _ indicated a level of focus.

But window boxes, wooden benches, a  _ plaza _ ? No building taller than four storeys? Bean bags in the lobby?

She didn’t know whether to crack open a can of beer, scoff or start a ‘brainstorming’ session to ‘synergise our creative foci’.

It was extremely unnerving.

She paused at the reception and found herself face to face with a girl with bright pigtails and an air of manic helpfulness that put her teeth immediately on edge.

The embodiment of all things perky smiled broadly, “Good morning! Do you need a pod?”

“Um, a what now?”

“Or are you more for open plan? If you need a confidential workspace, please fill in the form on the touch pad and we can get you booked in; otherwise, please register, or log in and just make use of the wifi. If this is your first time, we just need you to enter in some initial details and credit card info! You get a free coffee!”

Catra’s ear twitched, “Uh, no.. no not interested in registering. I have a meeting…”

“Of course, who is your appointment with?”

“Adora Grayskull.”

The girl twitched and her smile faltered slightly. She stared at Catra, the perky expression on her face marred by a faint frown. She appeared to give Catra a once over. The young man at the reception desk next to her swallowed and licked his lips. Then the girl leaned forwards, “Um… n… name? Your name I mean?”

Catra blinked and frowned, “Uh… Catra Weaver.”

There was a flurry of fingers on keyboard as the girl nodded rapidly, her eyes suddenly glued to her screen. She nodded sharply and her smile returned, her eyes a little wider, “Please face the camera, just need it for our records. Ms Grayskull’s should be….”

“Hey Catra!” The voice practically boomed across the foyer and Catra turned to see Adora practically jogging across the lobby towards her, “Saw you from the window upstairs. Glad you found the place ok.”

Adora drew up a few feet away and paused. She had her arms out, but they dropped limply to her sides. Catra smirked as she saw Adora patting the sides of her cream trousers. Clearly a hug had been aborted and now Adora was a bit at a loss. Truth told, Catra was partly grateful, partly sad. Grateful, because she’d have likely just ended up jumping up into Adora’s embrace. And sad,  _ because she really wanted to jump into Adora’s embrace _ .

“Heyyyy Adora,” she drawled as she gave her old friend a once over. She swallowed slightly - the aforementioned cream trousers, a red belt and a white blouse with sleeves rolled up… Adora looked  _ defined _ . And she was drawing stares - her height and sheer presence was enough to do that.

Also, the blonde was blushing and grinning like an idiot as she smiled at Catra, “Hey Catra.”

“You said that already. Don’t we have a meeting, Princess?” Catra smirked, relying on sheer bravado to push through. She heard the girl behind her gasp. Which was  _ weird _ . Adora’s eyes flickered to the reception desk and her expression shifted to something akin to annoyance - a faint frown and a resigned expression.

“Flutterina. All ok here?”

“Um, yes Ms Grayskull.”

“No issues?”

“None at all.”

“Good. Thank you for letting Ms Weaver in. Do you need anything else from her or can I whip her upstairs?”

Adora’s voice wasn’t curt, but it was startlingly formal. Devoid of the warmth she’d just thrown at Catra. And coupled with her bearing, she now looked  _ intimidating _ . It was kind of hot and also a bit sad. Catra filed that away:  _ staff in the rented building are nervous of her _ .

Adora’s gaze flicked back to Catra and she smiled again, then gestured for the lifts, “Come on, let’s get you set up. We have a deadline after all.”

If smirks could kill, Adora’s would have left Catra a messy smear. It was an A10-Warthog-on-blast level of both  _ knowing _ and  _ devastating _ . Arched eyebrow and everything.

They walked to the elevators and took up position opposite one another. Adora leaned back against the mirrored surface and met Catra’s gaze. For her part, the magicat decided to try and keep the distance as much as she could, “So, why’re the front desk staff terrified?”

Adora didn’t look surprised, just mildly annoyed, “Flutterina is the building’s gossip. I found out she had a whole story going about our team. I had…  _ words _ with her. And advised that the WorkOui… they’re the people who own the whole shared building… they’d find out and she’d never work in this town again.”

Catra let out a low whistle. Adora met her gaze levelly and the magicat nodded slowly, “Don’t fuck with Adora?”

“Don’t fuck with my  _ people _ or what we’re doing. I’m not going to bias you… more than you already might be. But I know I run things hard, I run myself hard,” she shrugged, “I want you to see if I can do better.”

Catra watched the tall blonde avert her gaze. Adora’s foot toed the floor and the woman hugged herself for a moment, then straightened. Catra took a step forward and grasped her hand quickly, “Hey, of course. Plus… like you said, I want to know  _ you _ . All of you. Good, not so good. You know all about me, so fair’s fair. Also… it’s kinda hot.”

Adora blinked and swallowed as she stared at Catra. Her eyes dipped to Catra’s lips, then back up and she smiled, “I’ll hold you to that.”

“You’ll hold me to something, I’m sure…”

They stared at each other, then Adora snorted, “What does that even  _ mean _ ?”

Catra blushed and shifted her laptop bag behind her. She suddenly felt very stuffy in her pant-suit, her skin warm and her body both embarrassed and mildly aroused. She huffed, “What, it… it sounded…”

Fingers gripped her jaw and gently turned her face. Blue eyes drilled into her, “I’m sure I can work it out.”

The elevator dinged and they practically leapt away from one another. Catra blinked and huffed, “It’s only four floors, how long do these things take…?”

“Yeah they’re weird,” Adora sighed, then winked, “So, let’s go meet the team.”

The layout on the floor was interesting - Adora’s charity shared the space with what looked like a design start up - each business had their own partitioned part of the floor, with glass walls dividing the spaces around a central lounge, which had what looked like a  _ bar _ in it. Adora rolled her eyes as they walked past it, and Catra shot her a quizzical look, “You drink on the job?”

“Part of the building’s perks. Beer taps get turned on at five, so things tend to grind to a halt. There’s soft drinks too - so it’s not exclusionary at least. Patio out there for smokers too.”

“Wow, den of sin, right here Adora. Next you’ll be telling me people skip class….”

Adora snorted and rolled her eyes, then led Catra into the office of the Light Hope charity. It was like so many other offices - open plan, communal hot-desks and a few conference rooms. It was shockingly modern. There was a bit more in the way of physical paper and a  _ lot _ more noise though - that mainly came from the fact that a good half of the team were on phones. Catra saw several eyes flash towards Adora, then flick back to their work.

The blonde led her to one of the conference rooms, the smaller of the two and spread her arms, “So, we’ll start in here. I’ve got the team leads primed to come talk with you. I’ve also looked over that proposal you sent and we have slots lined up for interviews, assessments and reviews. Also, Sandy, my PA, has gotten you hooked up for our IT system soooo yeah, you should be good to go.”

Catra nodded slowly and blinked at Adora, “That’s… efficient.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, most clients kinda just… stare at me blankly and ask what I need first day. We lose, like, three days because they forget to give us a laptop or, like, sort out passwords or passes, y’know?”

“Well… we’re small, so no excuses, y’know? Plus I rode them pretty hard about being ready for this,” Adora frowned, “...which is probably a reason  _ why _ I need you to look into this.”

“I hope you didn’t actually  _ ride _ anyone,” Catra couldn’t help the glare, “Cos you’re…”

Adora leaned forwards tentatively, “Yours?” her voice was a husky whisper. Catra felt herself turn to jelly for a moment and gripped a chair.

“Shut up, idiot,” she hissed, but with a sheepish grin. She inhaled, “I  _ meant _ I hope you didn’t, because, y’know, employee and employer relations and all that.”

Adora smirked again, “Of course you did.”

A rap on the glass door made them turn and Catra saw a small gaggle of people clustered, with laptops held to their chests. Adora sighed and opened the door, then stepped out. Catra watched as the blonde was immediately bombarded by queries, all delivered in that sort of fast pace that meant the asker wanted something off their chest as fast as possible.

Adora clapped her hands  _ loudly _ once and the group fell silent. Catra watched as the blonde stood, ramrod straight and gestured pointedly to each individual in turn, providing rapid fire guidance. Slowly, the group thinned. Through the muffled glass, Catra could hear the direction and tone. Adora’s words were clipped, delivered brusquely, but not unkindly. They just conveyed what needed to be  _ done _ . No argument. Tasks were delegated, decisions made, opinions confirmed.

And watching her was an experience. Her body language was tight, controlled, authority made form. There was no wheedling, no placating - just  _ command _ .

Honestly, Catra was glad she had her hands on the back of a chair, because it was rather attractive. In a distant sort of way. She watched as Adora dismissed the last pleading staffer. The blonde pushed her way back into the conference room with an apologetic smile, “That… happens a lot.”

Catra quirked an eyebrow, “Uh huh?”

“Yeah. People want to get it  _ right _ y’know? On brands? The right sort of communications, the right sort of companies to work with. I give them that nudge, y’know? To know they’re doing right?”

That made Catra pause and chew her lip thoughtfully. Adora’s gaze locked onto the movement and Catra stopped, then smirked, “Behave, Adora. Or we’re gonna traumatise your co-workers.”

Adora flushed suddenly and Catra scored that as little victory - it wasn’t just her being a sap. The blonde cleared her throat, “G-good point.  _ Anyway, _ I’ll let you set up. Team leads in… twenty minutes?”

Catra grinned, “Sounds  _ peachy _ ,” Adora nodded and turned away but Catra purred another few words, “And by the way… that blouse is  _ rockin’ _ .”

She was rewarded with Adora practically stumbling into the door.

This was going to be  _ fun _ .

\---------------------

The team was certainly diverse. Again, Catra hadn’t been quite sure what to expect: some woman in a fur stole, dripping with jewellery? A person in a cardigan? A bunch of old white guys with patronising attitudes?

Granted there was one of  _ those _ present. Frederick (Not Fred,  _ Frederick _ ) was clearly a stickler and a member of the charity old guard, probably from before Adora did her whole  _ She ra- _ thing and just got them to all do what she asked. He was a round faced man, with a perpetual frown and, she realised, the same voice she’d heard on the phone when she’d stolen Adora’s cell.

Which had led to this whole  _ thing _ .

The others were a mixed bag. Freddie-boy ran the funds, no surprise there. A preppy thirty-something with red hair in a pixie cut and far too many freckles (Teela? Some strange hippy name anyway) who ran the communications team - so, the phone banks and email campaigns; then there was the guy with a scarf. A  _ scarf _ . Indoors. He also had eyebrows that could kill at twenty paces and a scowl. She kind of approved. She hadn’t quite caught his name - Mike or something. He was in charge of the document processing - the investigations and info compilation for various projects. 

Then there was the smiling, tubby guy. He looked a lot like Mr-Scowls-alot, but with a perpetual grin. And not a sleazy grin, a genuine I-am-happy-to-be-here grin. Bo, Catra had written down on her pad. He was the Operations guy, seemed to manage the office and overall project staffing.

The IT girl was  _ interesting _ . A lithe brunette who was  _ almost _ as tall as Adora. She had a scar under one eye, but not a bad one. It made her look… badass, if Catra was honest. She'd introduced herself as Amaya. Or rather the man  _ next  _ to her had. At first, Catra had been about to say something about man-splaining, but then realised Amaya was deaf. The woman’s smirk told her she was likely  _ sassy _ as well. The man was, apparently, her interpreter, a guy who looked  _ shockingly _ like Kyle, another person she had yet to make amends with. So much so Catra had done a double take and been on the verge of babbling an apology, before the guy had introduced Amaya and himself. Gren, apparently. Short for something else, or just a weird name, she hadn’t asked.

The group had settled around the table and Adora had set the scene.

“Thanks all. I know you’re busy, so I won’t take too much of your time. I want to introduce Catra - she works for Spinny and Netossa, part of their consulting firm. Catra’s doing us a big favour - she wants to help us do some performance analysis, see how we do things and offer us some ideas on how we can improve.”

Of course Frederick had had an opinion, “Excuse me  _ Adora _ , but what sort of timewasting is this? We don’t  _ need _ to improve - we have enough on our plate right now to waste valuable resources and money on some overpaid snakeoil shenanigans. Get the younguns in, cover extraneous legal fees, spotlight some of that LGBT whatever and jobs a goodun.”

The silence around the table spoke volumes and Catra had to muffle a snort at Gren’s hurried sign language to Amaya. The deaf woman merely rolled her eyes. Adora fixed Frederick with a steady gaze and Catra paused, noting how all eyes flicked to the tall blonde. Even Frederick seemed to realise he’d said something amiss.

“Good job Catra is working for free then, is it not, Frederick?” Adora’s voice could have carved marble. Clipped, sharp, cold. She went on, “Getting the  _ best _ out of things is what we want to do, I think I’ve made that clear in the past? We can’t  _ afford _ to get things wrong. Monetarily  _ and _ reputationally. Bodging it won’t cut it. If we can get better results, iron out  _ time wasting _ then that’s another person saved  _ faster _ . Another bit of fundraising guaranteed.”

“I mean, not like we  _ need _ funds, is it?” snorted Bo, “C’mon, Sami practically bankrolled half of this.”

Adora huffed, “And what if she  _ can’t _ anymore? It’s great having a corporate sponsor, but too much? We become seen as shills, influenced. Even if it’s not the case. We need to show we aren’t some PR front. I made that  _ clear _ .”

“Hey, ‘Sami has a vested interest. She’s an ally. Well, a bit more than an ally, y’know. Since she and K, well…”

“Can we  _ please _ not talk about that?” That was Mike. Mike? Mark? Catra studied the man. His eyebrows were knitted closer together, almost a monobrow from the intensity of his scowl. Bo nudged him.

“I mean, ok. But dude, it’s been a  _ year _ . They’re  _ engaged _ . You’ve got Wu. Why is this still an issue?” Bo pursed his lips and folded his arms, “You can’t be jealous!”

“I’m… I’m not  _ jealous! _ Mr-Eyebrows flung his arms up, “I… just don’t think it’s an appropriate line of conversation to talk about my exes who are marrying each other in front of a  _ stranger _ .”

Catra bit her lip to stifle a gasp  _ and _ a giggle. She looked at Adora who had facepalmed. The blonde dragged her hand down her face and glared at the pair.

“Mako,”  _ ohhhh. _ So NOT Mike then. Or Mark. Close, “Not appropriate conversation for a  _ business _ meeting. Keep it by the water cooler. Bo, leave him alone. You can haze your brother on your time,  _ not _ mine,” The two men blinked then nodded rapidly. Adora rolled her shoulders and Catra saw Amaya swallow slightly. That made her glare involuntarily. Adora pressed on, “This consultation is to allow you to raise such concerns that Frederick has mentioned. To lay out what you do. Anything Catra identifies or works out… is on the table for us to  _ discuss _ . It isn’t a signed and sealed  _ we must do this. _ So, without further ado, Catra Weaver, everyone.”

Adora gave her a short smile, one that seemed strangely distant, then took a seat. Catra stood and smoothed her blazer down, then grinned at the room, “Hi there. Catra Weaver. Consultant and three year top-snakeoil saleswoman,” That got a few smirks around the table. Even  _ Freddie _ quirked a faint twitch of his mouth. Catra waited as Gren signed out his words to Amaya, then nodded to the group, “So, as Adora said, I’m here as an observer. The way our consultations work is by phases - an investigative phase, basically  _ discovery _ , where we run through as much as we can to work out what it is you guys  _ are _ . What you do. Not just the brochure stuff, or the PR stuff - what your objectives are beyond the inspiring statement on your powerpoints.”

Bo chuckled, “What, you aren’t won over by the flag?”

“It won me over a while back,” Catra’s expression darkened for a moment, then she shrugged, “So save the pitch, I’m bought in. So, uh, anyway, we look at what you want to achieve and then we look at  _ how _ you do it. We can do light touch or in depth. I’m doing a more cursory look, ‘cos ‘Dor thinks there’s some things that could be improved,” she twitched at the accidental nickname, but pressed on. She  _ did _ notice a slight quirk of Amaya’s mouth as the woman glanced between Catra and Adora. Clearly she was deaf but  _ not _ blind.

Damn.

Catra pushed on, “That means I will be looking at the  _ how _ \- how long it takes to get things done, your processes, if you have any; even your tech. Only on a cursory level. I’m not a tech girl. But i can get a brief from our teams on whether it’s up to doing what you need,” she saw the team look a tad confused and deployed her example, “A lot of people assume tech is just a tool. But it  _ really _ influences how you approach things. Bad record software? It’ll influence HOW you collect data, the type of information you keep and how long it takes to access or report on that data.”

Amaya nodded slowly as Gren caught her up. Frederick, however, was the one to speak up, “That seems far fetched. A spread sheet is a spreadsheet. A document is a document.”

“Granted,” Catra pointed at him and nodded, “But do you just store your data in tables? All of it? How do you store those files? Do you have backups? How are those backups made? Does your server sit in the same room as your backup server? What happens if there’s a fire? Both servers are gone, along with your data! Do you use a word form to gather information? Who inputs the data? Are you asking the right questions? Are the questions you’re asking  _ still _ the right questions? Do you reference older tools or software? How accessible are you to outside sources?” Catra inhaled and spread her arms, “That’s just the start. I’m doing light touch. We can run a whole  _ thing _ on your approach to social media, but that’s more my colleague DT’s arena.”

Adora was watching her with an expression that bordered on illegal. It was like a laser sight. Catra risked a glance and almost wished she hadn’t Adora smirked and leaned back a little and tilted her head back, revealing more of her neck.

_ Damn you Adora. _

“So, uhhh, yeah,” Catra fixed her gaze on Bo, “So, how you run your campaigns and approaches - your information search  _ will _ influence how you think. Your data will push lines of thinking and any subsequent behaviour. It ties into the stuff  _ you _ ,” she gestured to the room, “talk to business like ours about. How we think, how we sometimes ignore the potential of staff, or of community, right?”

That got a few nods. Mako frowned at her, “So, you’re going to tell us how to do our jobs?”

She recognised the question - it was the normal pushback from people who were often very  _ good _ at what they did, but also a bit insecure. Mostly it was older staff who threw that one out. They got resistant, because they thought they’d seen it all and assumed someone who just breezed in was a patronising ass.

Which, Catra knew, she could be at times. But she did it on purpose, to draw people out. Or to mess with them, if  _ they _ were being assholes too. With Mako she wanted to tread a  _ little _ carefully. For now.

“Nah. You can tell me how you do your job. I can tell you how  _ other _ places do it. And we can see if those ways have lessons that can be applied… OR maybe if what you do is something  _ we _ can learn from and apply elsewhere.” she shrugged, “it’s a two way street. One company I worked on had shelled out for some super expensive software, but it was  _ really _ restrictive. So they ditched it and used a complex spreadsheet. We were able to contract a small developer, turn it into an app and bam… they earned cash selling their tool on the side. Some places want to use paper records but don’t want to pay for storage. Some places are 100%  _ fine _ but turns out it’s just the placement of people in the office. Who’s visible? Who has access? Are the management communicative?”

Oddly, that last one got a  _ lot _ of exchanged looks. Adora twitched faintly, but stayed silent.

_ Interesting _ .

“So, in summary, I’m here to learn about you and maybe give you some ideas of how the market does things. I can point out methods but it’s down to you, as a team, to decide if those methods could work for you. Some approaches don’t mesh with company culture. Some company cultures are downright toxic and are the problem as well.”

“So this isn’t part of a plan to downsize?” That was Teela who seemed pensive. Her gaze darted to Adora rapidly then back to Catra. Also interesting.

“No. Everyone sees consulting and assumes we’re doing some Lean implementation. Get three people to do the job of ten, because  _ that’s _ efficient,” she rolled her eyes and a few chuckles rolled around the room, “yeah, if you have fifty people playing Angry Birds out there all day, I’d suggest that maybe you need to  _ find _ them work? But I need to know your work tempo before I suggest that. And it’s still  _ your _ decision at the end of the day.”

The room seemed calmer now, less tense. But still a little tense. She fielded a few more questions, then set out her agenda for that week - meeting each of them individually, going over process, meeting staff and so on. She stressed that feedback would be kept confidential, if requested and that only the broad gist would be given to Adora.

Amaya had flicked a question in ASL. She’d seen Adora twitch at it and glare at Amaya. Gren coughed and stared at Catra, “And we can be sure no out of office conversations? All above board?”

Catra fixed the deaf woman with a calculating stare. She smiled, revealing a little bit of fang, “Oh trust me, we aren’t there yet. Plus, I don’t like taking my work home with me?”

Gren blinked at Amaya, “And… what if work takes… you home?”

“Is that some way of asking if I’m sleeping in the office?” Catra frowned. Amaya glanced at Gren and pursed her lips, then shrugged and held her hands up. Adora had her gaze lasered on the woman who then nodded slowly and ducked her head. Gren ploughed on.

“I, uh, I misread that. What if work follows you home?”

“We all do powerpoints in the evening. But if you’re worried about me spilling your secrets to someone else, no worries. I’ve signed an NDA. And what would it do to  _ my _ reputation, my company’s reputation if I start gossiping? Worst case, we use you as an anonymous case study.”

Amaya nodded slowly. Clearly she’d been asking something else. But Catra wasn’t easily flustered.

Unless she was up against Adora. And whilst Amaya had the whole cute-deaf-girl thing going, along with a clear scary-level of focus, she had  _ nothing _ on the blonde.

After a few more queries, the group broke apart, each person coming to welcome Catra individually. Amaya even signed an apology, fairly vague, but along the lines of “ _ Apologies if I was overstepping. _ ” Catra waved it off with a smile and an  _ “Of course. It’s always good to get a measure of people right?” _

She could turn on the charm when needed. Bitchy Catra was for special occasions. Like when she hadn’t had coffee. Or any time before midday. Or people who weren’t Adora.

Eventually it was just Adora and her. Catra busied herself with the files and glanced at the blonde. Adora was staring out of the glass at the floorplate, watching the staff as they joked, laughed and went about their day. There as a strange sadness to her expression. Catra sighed, “What’s up Princess? You’re cutting a hole in the glass with the sad eyes.”

“Am I?” Adora turned to her and shrugged. She was leaning back in the chair, an arm draped over the seat next to her, “Just thinking.”

“What, that Amaya is far too perceptive? Or that you have a fraternisation problem? What is  _ with _ that Mako guy? And Frederick? He seems… not on board with the whole… gay thing.”

Adora snorted, “He’s been married to his husband for five years, together for twenty. He’s a traditionalist. Just like the old generation who don’t understand why you don’t marry your first crush.”

“Well,” Catra shrugged, “Is… there an issue with that?”

She clamped her mouth shut as soon as the words were out. Adora blinked. Then she blinked again. Her head tilted one way. Then the other. The blonde looked away. Frowned. Then look back. Then away again.

“Did you… just…?”

“I said nothing,” Catra deadpanned.

“Uh.”

“Noth. Ing.”

Adora snorted, “Alright then. You want a coffee?”

“So fucking much.”

“Already. Let’s get you some rocket fuel, then you can do the whole Inquisition thing.”

The hubbub settled as soon as Adora stepped out of the conference room. Eyes went to monitors. The jokers split apart and set about their day. Catra noticed a shift in Adora’s shoulders, the way her head tilted back. She watched the blonde pause at the desk of a young man, study his work, then offer some formal words of encouragement, before she set off towards the doors again. The man she’d spoken to seemed puffed up, proud, but also still… distant?

She had an inkling about the charity. And idea of what the initial issue might be. But she’d have to dig a little more to break the ice here.

Catra smiled as Bo waved at her, then watched as the cheerful man flicked through something on his phone. She caught the words, “...this is them with Naga last month! I never knew I could live vicariously through someone else’s JOY!”

One of the girls he was showing the pictures to eyed him with something that looked like fond tolerance. As well as, maybe, wistfulness? Black hair cut into a bob, tan features and a petite frame, she was dwarfed by Bo but not eclipsed by him. The other staff around them seemed more focused on the pictures though.

Clearly there  _ was _ a community in the office - a social scene. So the dysfunction wasn’t there.

Catra couldn’t  _ quite _ place it. There was a level of separation here. It was unnerving, like Adora was a  _ completely _ different being. Austere, intimidating, a force.

Alone.

Definitely something to work on. And if there was something Catra was good at - it was following through on a plan.

She had some damn good incentive, after all. And she was currently holding the door open with the promise of  _ coffee _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I needed some characters and we've run out of She Ra ones. Huh. Wonder where I can find some other fun LGBTQ+ characters from popular franchises who fit the tone and style and have amusing interactions?
> 
> I honestly don't know. STRUGGLING HERE.
> 
> Oh, these people? nahhh not familiar at all.


	18. Well met at moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra meets the bros and tries to work out what the issue is.
> 
> She knows what the issue is.
> 
> The issue is Adora.
> 
> But how BIG is the issue?
> 
> And will she survive before she literally steams to death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the consulting... we're gonna paint a little picture of Adora, probably two chapters, then... then we'll start our little roundup drama ;)
> 
> Because I love feeding all of you.

Consulting isn’t about implementing YOUR plan. It’s not about pushing YOUR idea. It is most definitely not about changing anything to suit YOU.

It had been a lesson Catra had learned _very_ quickly working for Spinnerella and Netossa - firstly, that she wasn’t the most intelligent person in the room; and secondly, that YOUR idea isn’t always the BEST idea.

It had taken a few gigs for those lessons to sit, admittedly - consultants tended to be arch, cynical and cocksure; you had to be, to be able to own a room, to take people on a journey. But a lot of consultants forgot that they were there for the _clients_ and not to shill whatever amazing change policy or new IT suite was _de rigueur_ at that moment.

Netossa scoffed at those sorts, “ _They ain’t consultants, Catra. They’re car salesmen who got lost at the interview”_.

Catra had been a lost and broken girl, then an angry student, then an arrogant consultant. A lot of that had come from her resentment at the world; her irritation at her stupidity when she was younger, and her determination to _not_ be taken advantage of again - to not be a _follower_ again. But that had meant she was far too brash, too dismissive. Right up until she’d ended up in a shouting match with one of her firm’s largest clients. 

It should’ve gotten her fired. Instead Netossa had sat her down with the client and they’d walked it through, soothed nerves and ended up with the client being mollified and Catra realising that, maybe, she could learn something.

She didn’t say as much and she had managed an awkward semi apology. It had been a humbling moment for her. Because she’d had all these ideas about what was WRONG with the client’s firm, but also was trying to force her solution onto them, to change far too many things on a fundamental level, it just didn’t work.

So she’d taken a step back, turned off the part of her brain that assumed she knew better than anyone (Which was ridiculously difficult) and had started from scratch. With that same client. She’d rerun interviews, rechecked her data but gone to others for second opinions. Actually _looked_ at her own methods with a more critical eye. Now, a lot of firms would have a boiler-plate style to just apply with a few tweaks (Methods, management tools, training, that sort of thing) but Catra had always been good at spotting threads… after school, of course. If she’d nurtured her more _observant_ side she might not have been such a raging dumpster fire (Her own, internal words) during College… and high school.

She’d always implemented good solutions, but in retrospect that was down to her forceful nature and the clients having legitimately _no clue_ . Or no form of leadership. But with a client that was solid, had traditions, were more set in their ways? Yeah, bull-rushing them and grandstanding had done _zippo._

What this meant, to draw the point home, was that Catra didn’t go in with a solution in mind, like many consultants did - they had preconceptions of issues and often bent the problems to fit the solution, which never really solved things and just caused issues down the line.

No, Catra went in and listened. Took notes. Checked workflows, checked pinch points, timings, run-rates on time spent on the phone. Every detail mattered; every little thing. From how long people spent away from their desk, to _why_ they spent time away from their desk. Was it because the software took too long to run reports? Or did they loathe their work and needed to take breaks? Or were they workshy?

And how could you solve those individual issues?

Which was why she normally started by talking to the people. To get a feel for the vibe of a place; to put them at their ease and to explain _why_ she was there. To get them onside early, so they didn’t feel threatened. And to see where the personal tensions lay. She hadn’t started out doing that - she’d been on _send_ , telling staff what they needed to change and _why_ they sucked. And she was shocked at how she’d still managed to succeed in her past implementations. But, she found out later, that had been due to the teams she’d worked with, smoothing over her abrasiveness.

Now she was a _lot_ … nicer? Not the right word - approachable. And she was improving every day.

Of course, it was harder to be neutral now she was in Adora’s office. Her sleek, modern office. With sleek, young people. Who knew her. And yet somehow _didn’t_ know her. It was harder to detach here and _not_ assume anything.

But she’d made a commitment.

The coffee with Adora had been interesting - Adora had offered _nothing_ about her team. She’d shut down Catra’s probing and given her a knowing look.

_“Not gonna bias you, Catra. You should know that. I know there are issues. I’ve known for ages. But… I don’t know what to do. Guess this is a chance.”_

It had been strange, seeing that familiar expression of vulnerability flit across the blonde’s face. A memory of high school, near the lockers, the bleachers. Back then Catra had had a choice and made the worst one imaginable. But now? Now she was going to be a better friend. And in the best way she knew how.

By being the most ruthless, leave-no-stone-unturned consultant that ever tore a company to pieces and rebuilt it.

What? She had a professional reputation to uphold.

Her first meeting was with the-guy-with-terrifying-eyebrows. And it was likely going to be a _tough_ one. He sat in the meeting room, jacket on, scarf wound tight, face set in a challenging scowl. 

Catra slid out the chair opposite with a screech as the feet dragged over wood, then sagged into it with a shit eating grin. She cocked her head and stared at him for a moment, then tilted her chin up, “‘Sup?”

Watching the scowl flicker with uncertainty was amusing. More amusing was watching him lean forward, one thick brow raised in challenge, “So, what’s the game here, Miss Weaver?”

“Game?” Catra chalked him up as _macho-with-authority-issues._

“Yeah. I run investigations here. Meet all sorts. Y’know, not just the kids getting their whole minds warped, but the people _doing_ the warping. You’re some big shot city-girl, come to tell us what we’re doing wrong? Why’re you here? You don’t strike me as the _altruistic_ sort.”

Catra tilted her head to one side and bit back her instinctive snark. That was always a challenge with these. People could be nervous, irritable, standoffish or overly friendly - people didn’t know _why_ the consultant was there. They thought it was a criticism of not just their work but _them_ \- if things were fine, then the consultant _wouldn’t be there._ And some people took that really _really_ personally.

Case in point: Mr Sharkbrows.

She adjusted herself and crossed one leg over the other, her tail flicking behind her as she maintained an air of quiet amusement, “You good at reading people? It being part of your job?”

“Looking for a reason to get Adora to _sack_ me?”

“Would she want to sack you? Does she need a reason?” Catra tapped her pen on the table. Mako frowned at her and worked his jaw.

“I’m good at my job. Why does she want… what are you _doing_ here?”

“Wow, so good at investigating, you expect people to just… say stuff to you?” Catra chuckled then held up a hand, “Sorry, I’m… snarky. That’s what I get told anyway. Especially when people are being assholes.”

His frown moved to a glare, “What?”

“Look, I’m here to help. Because Adora _asked_ me. Because _Adora_ wants help. And, frankly, it looks like she needs it,” Catra waved a hand, “And you being defensive… why?”

“I know what consultants do. You’re here to streamline. Cut costs. Well, we do _good_ work. Not sat in ivory towers, we _help_ people, not just our own bottom lines,” the man’s chest puffed up and he jutted his own chin out. Catra arched an eyebrow.

“So, what you think I’m here to suggest we sack the staff, rebrand the company as a PR agency and get you all out there posting trendy hashtags? I mean… is there a _reason_ I should be suggesting gutting the company?”

She left the question hanging. Mako cocked his head, “Like you care.”

Catra twitched faintly, “Interesting. Not answered the question,” She pulled her paper pad closer to her and scrawled a note, then pursed her lips. She saw Mako twitch and surreptitiously lean forwards. In return, she laid her palm down on the page. He clearly had an _issue_ but might not reveal if she baited him too soon. She sat back and sighed, “I might care a whole lot more than you think.”

His gaze tracked back up to her and he frowned, “What, big city girl like you? You’re slumming it.”

“Wow. You make up front assessments all the time? And you investigate shit? Maybe _that’s_ the issue?” She quirked a smile, then gestured at Mako, “So, walk me through your process. Seeing as I’m some elitist bitch who doesn’t get it. I mean… how could I. I’m just a gay woman who only had a _minor_ brush with one of Prime’s pet projects.”

It was rewarding watching the man’s face drain of colour, “You… what? You’re… you were?”

“Like I said; you open up as an asshole, you assume the worst. I’m here. I believe in what this place does. But I won’t let that bias me if stuff is just… being done badly. But I’ll only _see_ if that’s the case if I _understand_ it. So, help me… help you.”

Mako rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled heavily. He met her eyes sheepishly, “Uuh…. yeah. That… that was shitty of me. Is, uh… that how you know Adora?”

Catra shrugged, “In a way. You could say all of this is kinda… down to me in some part.”

Mako was more relaxed, a little bit contrite and very informative. He did clam up about management a bit as he walked through their process - taking anonymous tips, or helpline calls, or direct referrals from social services, then translating that to a database of victims, contacts and support agencies that were independent. The charity acted as a go between, a management agency of sorts, for helping people escape from abusive situations, or collating evidence of poor behaviours by carers, businesses, schools and the like.

Catra huffed as Mako skirted another point and held up a hand, “You’re nervy. And it’s not just ‘cos of me.”

The man tilted his head back chewed his cheek, “Look… you’re on good terms with Adora…”

“You’re… afraid of her?”

He winced and gave a half shrug, “Not really. I mean, she’s a hardass at times. But… she _believes_. We believe, y’know? We’ve ALL had bad experiences. Y’know, trans, bi, gay… we’ve hit our blocks. She tends to barrel them out of the way, but… well.. She’s a perfectionist, y’know?”

Catra snorted, “Oh I know. But, what… you’re worried I’m going to….”

“Tell her…” he shrugged again, “I don’t know. That… we’re doing badly? That I’m…”

“Look, I won’t lie - I’m presenting an assessment on the whole thing - processes, people, IT systems. But not on an _individual_ basis. Anything you say WILL be anonymised. I don’t want to get sued for constructive dismissal!” she smiled, but Mako just frowned, “Wow, you think she’d _sack_ you?”

Again he winced, “I mean.. No? But… maybe? She…. she approves damn near everything we run through. Checks every file. Gets… cold if we miss stuff. I mean, like, _disappointed_ . Says stuff like _‘we can’t afford to fail. Not even one person.’_ ”

An ache throbs in Catra’s chest, but she manages to keep her face neutral, “Ok, see, that’s good feedback on process. Do you feel management don’t give you enough _freedom_? IS it a delay to process? Or getting things done?”

“Eh, not _really_ ? I mean, it’s not officially part of the process but… she wants to make sure. And we don’t exactly say no? She does good work, points things out. Honestly, she’s made sure we don’t miss stuff out… and it’s easier to just loop her in sometimes, just in case.” 

Catra frowned and made another note, “Huh. So… why the fear?”

“Well, I… I don’t think she would? I’ve seen her chew someone out. We… had a bad time with a school that’d ended with a suicide. Someone messed up. Missed it. She… well, she wasn’t screaming. But Opal came outta the office in tears. Adora just… well.”

“Did this… Opal… quit?”

“No, no, she’s uh… she’s part of Amaya’s team. She and Bo are, well… anyway that’s beside the point. I just…”

“So Adora’s the problem?” Catra glanced up and was surprised and the sudden scowl on Mako’s face.

“I didn’t say that,” Catra opened her mouth to speak but Mako interrupted, “Is this some hit job? The Trustees want rid of her _again_ , or get her to step down? The bad PR?”

Catra held her hands up, “Woa, wait up. Back the fuck up, Sharkbrows.”

“Sh- what now?”

“Alright, so, first,” Catra held a finger up, “I’m here because I _asked_ Adora. Second, what the heck is that about trustees?”

“Uh… they do most of the funding stuff. Admittedly it’s mostly Asami… and she’s got Adora’s back. But there’s a few who’re… well, they support the cause, but think going after Prime Industries is… bad. Doesn’t win us friends in the business community, y’know? So, well…. A consultant who’s here to change things up? Seems like a hit job to distract us, mess with Adora, maybe get her to back off.”

Catra snorted, “You’ve met the girl. Think that’d work?”

Mako actually cracked a smile, “Point taken. You aren’t so bad, y’know.”

“Thanks. I’m trying,” Catra quirked a grin, “So, investigations… the blocker does seem to be at appraisal and approval. But it’s data security and personal info so….”

They jotted down a few more ideas, Catra made a few notes, then Mako was free to go. Catra had barely glanced away before she found his chubbier doppleganger grinning at her from across the table. She startled in surprise and he guffawed.

“HAH! Sorry, sorry. Forget I’m like a _ninja_ at times,” his smile was sincere and he radiated positivity. Catra huffed and smoothed her tail, then arched an eyebrow.

“So, you’re Tweedlewhat now?”

“Oh wow, yeah you… you my friend are _exactly_ what I expected. Smooth, hard exterior, snark… but inside I bet there’s a mushy romantic. You’re like, the cat girl Mako.”

Oh god, he was a _people person_. Catra leaned back and stared at the grinning idiot, “Bolin, right?”

“Yeah!”

“You remind me of another Bow.”

“OH! YEAH! CROP TOP BUDDIES! Well, only in summer, I can’t pull it off as well as him. I mean, not exactly ab-tastic over here. Opal says she doesn’t mind of course, but hey, she’s _biased_ ….” Catra actually zoned out.

There were _two_ of them. She was doomed.

With a groan she leaned forward, “Alright… let’s… let’s hit your piece.”

“Cool, yeah, let’s _do this thing_ . Bam, straight talking, no nonsense, in the know guy _right here_.

Just….” he winced, “Y’know, don’t like, bad mouth me?”

Catra paused and frowned, “Uhhhh… what?”

“Y’know, I’m doing my best, keeping things running, making sure that stuff _gets done._ People on the jobs, the data gets mapped, Teela has her people rotated, y’know? Ops… Stuff. Gotta keep things ticking or it falls down! Only as strong as our weakest link!”

Catra blinked slowly, “You sound like you’re quoting someone.”

“Uhhh, do I? Was I? _AM I?”_ he bit his lip and shrugged, “Well… we… um… we want to be as _good as we can be_. Can’t let people down. Adora is a stickler for it. She signs off on all our hires, double checks our data, runs the interviews.”

“Oh, job interviews, ok,” Catra bent to make a note. Bolin coughed.

“Erm. Yah. All the interviews,” Catra paused and looked up, “Like, media stuff, but also the presentations to partner agencies, face to faces with businesses and… our clients.”

“Clients?”

“Y’know, the kids? The people we help?”

“Wait… she does… all of that?”

“I mean…”

“Don’t tell me she does all the phone calls!”

“No, I mean… Teela runs that. But if we get people in, or we have a live intervention? Yeah she’s usually heading it up. She’s great and…”

“So you have staff, ops people, staff to handle the background stuff and.. She’s involved in _everything?”_

“Oh god… Oh god, they don’t need my team do they? Is this… is she gonna get…”

Cata spread her arms, “WHY is that the default? Why do you….”

“Uh… you’re a consultant? That’s what you guys do, riiiight?” Bolin at least sounded unsure. Catra braced her head in her hands.

“No. It’s _a thing_ we can suggest… but usually that’s for like, 4,000 plus companies that employs the bosses girlfriend as a PA or something. We suggest that, _maybe_ they should consider not employing a guy to stack paperclips. But this place? I need to see your figures, and the fact is you guys aren’t _profit driven_. So, y’know… different motivators and different solutions.”

“Ohhhhh,” Bo drew the word out for _quite_ a bit. His grin returned, “Well THAT’S a relief. Opal was sure you wouldn’t be doing that. Said you were far too nice.” 

“The who now?” Catra felt absolutely disorientated. She hadn’t met any Opal - Mako had mentioned her, hadn’t he? “Uhh.. your… girlfriend?”

“Fiancee, yeah. Works with Teela? Anyway, yeah, she said anyone who looks at Adora like that can’t be a bad person.”

Catra flushed and glared at him, “Like what?”

Bo frowned, “Not sure. I tend to take her at her word, she’s like… _amazingly_ bright. Really, she could do my job better than me… uhm, please don’t tell Adora that. I need this job. I haven’t paid off the ring yet.”

He’d actually gone pale. Catra huffed and rolled her eyes, “Wow, you guys must really hate me. And Adora.”

“Wait, no, what?”

Catra looked up, “You think she’d legit can you?”

Bolin sagged and looked a tad guilty, “I guess not. But, it’s hard to remember that. She always pushes and pushes for us to do well, y’know? Sometimes we just…. Well, it feels like… it’s hard to explain? Like we’re letting her down?”

“Ok ok, let’s… let’s circle back to that. Just walk me through the process.”

And again, data, sheets, processes of hiring and assigning people to projects. All rote. But something stuck out. Bolin was going on about, “Of course, we run CVs through our recruiters and, well, we have a two line process and…”

“Wait, look… the formal guidance… it doesn’t _say_ anything about Management specifically. Yeah, a team leader has to review. And, well… I guess I need to talk to Teela about the client stuff. Does Adora _have_ to approve everything? I mean, is it a demand she makes?” 

Bolin tapped his chin and opened his mouth then paused, “Hu-uh. I mean… she um… she when she joined, she was into _everything_. I mean, gave us all some advice, helped improve things in the interviews, how we ran the office. I mean… I was running stuff by her, admittedly and…”

Catra watches as the man’s face forms into a perfect encapsulation of confusion and slow realisation, his lips an _O_ of surprise. Catra looks at her notes and frowns, “You just… run stuff by her. Does she… ask to be included?”

“I… well, she has asked to check stuff. And she gets antsy if stuff goes wrong so… we… just kinda CC her on emails. And we… well, she wants to interview staff of course. But, well… we just schedule it… in.. and…”

“But does she _ask_? It’s not on the process map. It’s not one of the pre-requisite checks for stuff. I mean, sure, if she’s presenting data, then yeah she will want to see it prior. And if she’s running things, she’ll need a summary. But… does she need to be included in every decision?” she held up a hand, “Don’t answer, just… table it, have a think, look at your processes. Thanks again Bolin… I will want to sit with your team, meet some of the others, get their view on the day to day? I won’t be in the way, I promise.”

Bolin had a thoughtful look on his face, but he stirred at her words, “Huh? Oh of course, yeah, sure. You’ve… well I never actually, y’know, thought about how we _Do_ stuff, y’know. Just… that’s how things were being done and, well, Adora is mega helpful and we want to do a good job ‘cos she’s always around and, well, she’s _intense_ ... “ 

Catra squinted at him, “Do you _like_ working here?”

He paused and gaped, “DUH! Great people, good cause! Salary covers my rent, so, y’know, it’s exactly what I like.”

“Hmm, ok. Thanks Bolin. Good intro and overview.”

She watched him leave, then stood up herself and sauntered out of the office. The place was a buzz of activity - phones going off, the clack of fingers on keyboards, laughter as a group lounged on the nearby break-out area couch to share ideas. It was a _nice_ space. And the people seemed pretty chill.

But there was a problem. Looking at how bottlenecked their processes were? How they delegated _up_ to management? Yeah that… that was a key issue. The question was whether that was intentional or not.

She headed out of the office and wandered towards the coffee area. She turned as she passed one of the small, more private booths, then blinked in surprise as it slid open and a pair of hands reached out and yanked her inside. She squeaked in surprise as she was turned and pushed against the wall.

Blue eyes stared at her and Adora’s face was all smirk, “Squeaking, really?”

“Shut _up_! I did not expect to be…. Manhandled,” Catra tried for a glare but Adora just shrugged. It took a moment, but Catra realised that the girl looked… frazzled. Her blonde hair was a bit frayed at the edges around the hair tie and she had a slightly pensive look under the smirk, “You ok?”

Adora leaned back against the wall and exhaled, “Um… ish? Wanted to check in.”

“Adora it’s been… two hours. Wow, two hours. Sharkbrows talks _a lot_ … so does Bolin.”

“Wow, you got Mako _talking_? I.. wow,” Adora looked… genuinely impressed, “Guy is so tightlipped. Almost military, it’s freaky.”

“What can I say, I have a way with making people _sing_ ,” Catra practically purred the words and prodded Adora’s shoulder. She blinked, then yanked her hand back, “Sorry… sorry, boundaries.”

“I mean… not complaining…” Adora flushed faintly and smiled, “And… that was just a poke. I mean, y’know, not like you… were…”

Catra hugged herself and glared, “Don’t say I just fingered you.”

“I mean, I didn’t say anything,” Adora’s grin was practically _offensive_. It relaxed and she tilted her head, “So, what did they say?”

“Uh uh, Not how this works, Adora. Anonymous. Don’t want you getting _snippy_.”

Adora huffed, “I am not _snippy_.”

“Sure. Anyway, just getting a feel. They seem…. Nice. I mean that. Even if Bolin is Bow mark 2.”

Adora groaned, “Yeah…. Do _not_ attend a summer party with both of them. It’s like… too much.”

“HA! I knew you were a secret grinch.”

“What’s secret? I’m an ice queen remember?” there’s only a slight hint of bitterness and Adora grinned at least. Catra huffed.

“Well, we’ll see. So, why are you hiding?”  
  
“I’m not _hiding_. I’m… having a break away from people.”

“So, hiding.”

“Ugh, fine. Had to duck out after Frederick tried to lecture me. Again.”

Catra frowned, “Aren’t you the boss?”

“First among equals. In theory. He’s got _views_ on things. And I’m the sounding board.”

“Well, I’ve got to talk to him later… I won’t ask if there’s anything I should know, ‘cos I need a _clear_ view of these people… but anything I can, y’know… do to help?”

The look Adora levelled at her made Catra lick her lips. The blonde quirked an eyebrow, then slid closer, her hand raised slightly. She paused, then bit her lip. They stared at one another for a moment and Catra swallowed. Adora blinked and sighed, “I… have some ideas. But it might get us evicted.”

“Not a great plan. And, y’know… tabling this whole thing til, well, _after_.”

“I hate past me.”

“Right there with you,” gasped Catra. Her eyes dropped to Adora’s lips for a moment, then returned to those blonde orbs, “This… is going to be difficult, right? Not just me?”

“Mhm,” managed Adora, “But…”

Catra cursed as her phone buzzed. She silenced it without looking, “Alarm… gotta meet Teela now…”

“A couple of minutes won’t… hurt?” 

Adora seemed to be practically rigid and, for the first time, conflicted. Catra leaned her head back against the wall and heard Adora actually _whine_ . She realised the girl was focused on the column of her throat and Catra gasped, “Ok, it just won’t be a couple of minutes though and… do you _want_ your staff to see….”

“See what?” Adora’s grin was back, her eyes lidded.

“Do not make this harder. I don’t want our…. Y’know… if we like each other… to be in a fucking _office booth_ . Also, these are _your rules_ Adora... Don't... ugh.”

“Photocopier better?” Adora's words were breathy.

Catra twitched then laughed. The tension in the air dissipated a little and they relaxed. Catra landed a soft punch on Adora’s arm, “Dork.”

“Yep,” Adora popped the p and grinned, “Go, before my iron self control shatters and I rail you against a white board.”

“That… should not sound so hot,” Catra actually felt her skin _heat_ , and she’s gratified that Adora seems equally embarrassed by her sudden outburst of carnal intent, “But… ok, right, _going_.”

Adora flicked the door open and practically shoved her out, but not without a wink. Catra managed to take her very dazed self to the coffee machine, before she wandered back through the office space. No one noticed, except the IT girl - Amaya? The deaf woman merely arched an eyebrow and waved, as Catra headed back towards the conference room, coffee held like a lifeline.

How the hell was she going to last the next couple of weeks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, feedback is ALWAYS appreciated. Spelling / Grammar issues, continuity stuff, do shout if you spot - as I don't use a beta reader, I just DIE LIKE A MAN. Or a flimsy straw target.
> 
> Do you think these two are going to LAST the two weeks? Can we get an idea of whether Adora is a monster orrrrrrr.... she's just super helpful and people just.... kept giving her shit even as the boss?
> 
> We shall SEEEEEE!
> 
> Amaya, Teela and Frederick get their moment in the spotlight next chapter; wanted to give SHARKBROWS and the bundle of positivity Bolin their whole own bit.


	19. Seeing is believing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra unearths some more facts.
> 
> It's not all smooth sailing it seems. But then, people are people.
> 
> The Struggle is Real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: conversations around homophobia; distress around coming out; discussions on emotional trauma.
> 
> I am not a trained counsellor, any guidance laid out in the fic is from a fictional character! Who is also not a trained counsellor. But is a nice person.

Catra knew what the problem was.

Adora knew what the problem was.

_ Everyone _ knew what the problem was.

Or rather they knew but DIDN’T really  _ realise _ .

Just… she needed to be able to show it so people  _ didn’t _ double down, didn’t prevaricate, dodge, assign blame.

Because it wasn’t as simple as  _ Adora has control issues _ . Or  _ Adora is a doormat _ . Or  _ The company is inefficient _ . Or any other myriad things. Truth was, the company, the  _ charity _ actually was… pretty well organised. People knew their jobs. They knew their objectives. They had solid processes.

They also had a slightly obsessive attitude to  _ pleasing _ Adora.

Teela reinforced this during the meeting Catra had with her, after that near-miss in the meeting room. A meeting that had left Catra with far too many enjoyable mental images. Teela was a quirky sort; she radiated cheerfulness in the same way Bolin did, but with a more focused intensity. She also spoke a mile a minute and Catra’s hand had cramped trying to take notes.

“Oh, sorry, um, I know… I uh… I get carried away, I know, but, well, we  _ believe _ in what we’re doing here and, y’know, Adora is just such a role model, right? Adam, that’s my boyfriend, he tries, he’s a great ally, y’know, bi and all that? Well, so am I, but… well, we get told we have it easy? Not really part of the struggle, but you don’t hear the phone calls, from people who are confused?”

Catra nodded blandly and tried to keep up, “Uh, sure.”

“I mean, you’re gay, you get it. And the whole magicat thing? Marginalised  _ and _ gay? Can’t be easy. Adam, did I mention him, yeah he’s on board, but of course he is being Adora’s brother and all.”

Catra’s pen practically skidded off the page, “Wait,  _ what?” _

“Oh you know? Found each other a couple of years ago - foster system. Her mom, Mara, y’know, been trying to find him and, well, he found Adora after the charity got its work going and… big reunion. It’s… it’s how I got started here, y’know? Adam and I well… we got together after he and his boyfriend, then boyfriend I mean, had broken up. It got a bit messy… weird, small world, the guy apparently knows  _ Harry Hordak! _ Yeah, old college frat bros or some stupid stuff. Anyway, Adam and I… well, we were always close, best friends at college and.. Sorry, getting sidetracked.”

Catra held up a hand and licked her lips, “Um… so, uh, brother?”

“YEAH! So, their dad, apparently, got sick, state took the kids, but the system broke them up. Adora ended up with Mara, Adam landed with my Dad… Duncan.”

“So… not  _ just _ best friends at college?” Catra felt the conversation hadn’t just gotten away from her, it’d boarded a jet and gone to Pumeria.

Teela winced, “Well, we were already into our teens when Adam came along so… yeah. It… it was a bit  _ weird _ ? For dad anyway. But… Adam is the best man there is. A bit dim. Or, well, he lets people  _ think _ he’s…”

Catra held up a hand to forestall more words, “Uh yeah, ok, we’re off track. So…. you’re fairly close to Adora then?”

The girl sighed and shrugged, “Not… really? Adam and her, they’re reconnecting, but i think Adora is… she has a lot of guilt. She barely remembered Adam. I think she beats herself up about it - another example of the system just… not working?”

Another tick in the Adora Martyr box, then.

“Uh huh. So, I see you’ve got some insight there… thanks for the… uh… history. So, your day job?”

“Ah that’s… that’s the tricky stuff. We’re the first wave, y’know? That’s how Mako puts it. His team, they do a  _ lot _ of the heavy lifting, all that investigating? But we… we get the tip offs, the calls, the cries for help? We run a 24 hour line, mostly staffed by offsite volunteers, mentors we’ve trained… well, Adora’s trained.”

“What?” Cata had to stop it sounding like a snap, “She trains them  _ all _ ?”

“Pretty much. Basically on what to look for, what to report, to escalate, runs all the web-based training for them.”

“Anything she doesn’t do?”

“Make the coffee?” Teela smiled then pointed at Catra’s drink, “She brings it in for the team sometimes, but Adora’s… she’s hands on. Mans the phones occasionally as well. About the only time I see her  _ properly _ smile is.. Well, when she’s on the phone and when she…”

Teela trailed off and quirked an eyebrow at Catra. The magicat regarded her levelly, “Go on.”

“OH! Um, sorry, just… she smiles when she looks at you. Just in case you hadn’t realised. I mean, she’s… she’s not usually so  _ blatant _ . If it makes you uncomfortable, we can ask her to…”

Catra snorted and shook her head, “Thanks, no, I imagine she’s putting a good professional face on. Being welcoming.”

The pink haired girl nodded rapidly, “OH! Of course! Make sense. So, i was thinking… we do all the communications stuff - not just the call ins by kids or families, but the outreach stuff to companies and government. I’ve got some examples here… all approved by Adora of course!”

It was interesting how they all said that - even a few staff members she’d overheard -  _ Adora says this looks good! Adora is happy with this! _ It wasn’t said with resentment, but pride. Which  _ didn’t _ indicate a micromanager - the sign of that was ever present tension. She’d  _ thought _ she’d seen that here, initially. But it wasn’t that - it was something else, perhaps just as insidious, but unintentional.

Something she recognised from her own relations with her adopted  _ mother _ .

A eagerness to please.

“And, um, I thought it’d be good for you to listen to some examples, see what we deal with, how we log it, y’know? And also, our outreach stuff?”

Catra blinked then smiled, “Sure.. fire away.”

Teela presented her laptop, “We record all calls, for security purposes, and for our own legal liability. This on’es pretty tame, just someone asking for advice on coming out…”

The file was short, just a nervous young man asking for steering advice, how to manage rejection, how to handle the potential blow back. The operator was calm, gentle and straightforward. Teela showed her the file associated with the call - detailed, follow ups, logs. Catra gestured at a note that said  _ complete _ .

“Good or bad outcome?”

Teela smiled, “Good. He gets married next week. His dad is walking him down the aisle.”

Catra swallowed, suddenly tense, “H-uh.”

The pink haired girl smiled sadly, “Not all of them go well. We’ve had to talk down some who are… really on the edge. Especially with the whole… Hordak and Prime thing.”

“I can imagine,” managed Catra, a noncommittal edge to her voice.

“Yeah, that’s got Adora fired up. And when she’s fired up, hoo boy, so are we!” Teela sounded  _ proud _ of that too. She keyed up another file.

Adora’s voice poured out of the speakers. Her tone firm, yet kind; reassurance and promise, without actually  _ saying _ a promise, “ _ Ok Sandra…. It’s ok. This isn’t  _ you _ this is  _ them _. They might be saying it’s your fault… but  _ nothing _ about this is about blame, or fault. If anything, it’s because they can’t see you, can’t see beyond their own beliefs.” _

_ “Buh...buh but they d...don’t… I want them to love me!” _

_ “Of course you do. They’re family. They SHOULD. This is hard. And you wouldn’t have called if you didn’t want help, right? You know being silent, being something you aren’t… it won’t do, not anymore, right?” _

_ “It… it hurts.” _

_ “I know. So, the question is… what do you want, Sandra? I can’t  _ tell _ you what to do. But I can advise, put you in touch with people.” _

_ “Can.. .can you make me not gay?” _

Catra winced at Adora’s intake of breath. But when the blonde spoke, it was calm and firmness again,  _ “I can’t. And anything you try won’t make you NOT feel this way. We can’t choose how we’re made, but we can pick our path. But we have to own it, errors and all. This is new. It’s scary; I won’t ask you to make a decision now. Your first concern is being  _ safe _. Compromise rarely works out… do you want to be somewhere, down the line, living a lie?” _

_ “It might not be a lie! I...this is a phase?” _

_ “Maybe. Maybe you just want to see, right?”  _ gentle, guiding, not forcing,  _ “You said it hurts. Telling them will hurt, has hurt you. But pretending? Who will that hurt? They might be happy, but… I can’t tell you what to do. And, really… neither can they. This is a big step and you are being  _ brave _. Braver than I was.” _

_ “Huh? Wh...what was your time like?” _

Adora’s chuckle didn’t hold the bitterness Catra expected, “ _ I messed up. It was… spectacularly bad. But I’m glad I did what I did… but I wish I’d done more. Ben more up front. And… I wish I’d done it sooner, been who I knew I was  _ sooner _. I was happy, but… I feel more me now.” _

_ “Why… what made you?” _

_ “It was harder to NOT say anything after a while. And, sometimes… you have to say your piece then lt the parts fall where they may,”  _ a sigh, “ _ It won’t be easy, I won’t lie. But everything after that is YOURS to own. And we can help, we can put you in touch with people, introduce you to groups. I’m not trying to set you up! Don’t worry! That costs extra…” _

The girl actually laughed, a wet sort of sniffle-laugh and Catra shook her head  _ \- idiot _ .

“ _ Y...yeah I, um… not.. Yet.” _

_ “Baby steps. Look, we’ve got your number… do you feel comfortable sharing your address? Or just a broad location? Maybe one of us can meet you? Coffee shop? We can flag another charity or a friend, so they know where you are when you do, ok?” _

_ “Can… can I meet you? I don’t… I don’t want too many people to know. Not yet.” _

_ “Sure.” _

Teela clicked the audio off, “Adora goes off script A LOT. But… it works.”

Catra rubbed the bridge of her nose, “Gets involved in everything, huh? Bit… micromangey?”

Teela shrugged, “She doesn’t do everything. She signs off on risk cases, our public affairs stuff, runs most of our outreach meetings… but to be honest, she lets us do our thing. She just… leads from the front, y’know.”

“ _Is_ she a leader?”

“What do you mean?”

Catra leaned forwards and gestured at the various files, “Well, technically… she isn’t CEO is she? Chief Exec or whatever?”

“No… not really. We, um… the last one never really quit but we don’t see him around.”

“He still getting paid?”

“Oh, um, not sure. You’d have to ask Frederick. Anyway, Adora kind of… cleaned house. We had lots of people, doing all that  _ this is my sandpit _ stuff. Not talking, or sharing or anything. Adora cut a  _ lot _ of that out.”

“How?”

“By… ignoring the people making a mess… And then, well… Asami got involved and people tend to listen if you threaten to cut off their money valve,” Teela smirked, “Frederick has the details.”

“Think he’ll share?” snorted Catra. Teela shrugged.

“Ask him nicely. He’s a good guy. A stickler, but a good guy. He believes; we all do. He just… is a bit traditional.”

The rest of the meeting was fairly rote - same as the rest. Processes, people, the usual. It still gave Catra food for thought. Teela waved as she left the office, to be replaced by the frowning form of Frederick.

The man radiated scepticism. Catra met his flat stare with her best neutral smile as she gestured to the chair, “A pleasure. You ok being in the same room as a purveyor of snake oil?” she grinned wider then winked. The man huffed and frowned, then sat, his slightly plump frame eliciting a squeak from the chair.

“That comment was… not generous of me.”

“Eh, I can see why. Some hotshot rides in, promises the world, but leaves you with a duff programme, crap and pointless meetings where you all stand around a white board at 9 am to talk about your  _ ideas _ and team bonding, and a fat bill, right?”

The man stared at her then actually smiled, “Did you work with my previous employers?”

Catra waved a hand, “Nah, I just know how boilerplate consulting goes. Template an idea, churn it out to people who will pay for it. Assumes the consultancy knows the  _ best _ way to do things, but also assumes that the problems are  _ universal _ . So, who’d you work for previously?”

The man sighed and shrugged, “Prime.”

Catra couldn’t hide the hiss, but she clamped down on it, “Sorry… shouldn’t judge.”

“Oh no, feel free. I was… I was part of them for a while. Worked mainly in their shipping department, accounting you know? Saw a lot of colleagues phased out with all that lovely automation they brought in. Felt like a drone at the end. But, well.. It wasn’t always like that”

Catra nodded and Frederick frowned. She prompted, “So… why the move?”

He looked at her, “Awfully personal, isn’t it?”

She shrugged, “Not really. Interested to know why you shifted from a major firm with a high profile, to a charity covering LGBT issues for, potentially, a pay reduction. Not being cynical, but people have mortgages, credit cards… I’m gay, I know the  _ cause _ is good… but righteous morals don’t pay the bank.”

The man eyed her then smiled faintly, “I appreciate the candour. And, well… let’s say I kept my private life private. I was a late bloomer to… this, shall we say.”

Catra nodded slowly, “Ah. And, well… I imagine Prime isn’t all that…?”

“No, quite. They… well it wasn’t  _ framed _ as such. I was put on a performance review, some trumped up thing. They have all the stuff in their press releases about how they are a family firm… and they are quite vocal about family values. In a rather don’t ask, don’t tell sort of way. But, well… my marriage fell apart. Geoffrey… my husband now… well he was working for Prime too and, um…”

The cat girl grinned, “Wow.  _ Salacious.” _

Frederick frowned, “Hardly. We’d just started… stepping out. And my ex wife and I were amicable. She’d known for years. My children had known for goodness sake! But, well… Someone saw Geoffrey give me a kiss on the cheek and… why am I telling you this?”

“I have that sorta face,” Catra spread her hands and grinned, “Anyway, so, former employers, bad rep… and now here?”

“Well, my ex-wife is… she’s a trustee of the board? And she got me the role. A few years back now… before Ms Grayskull came aboard,” his voice wasn’t quite aggressive, but slightly disapproving. Catra narrowed her eyes but nodded slowly.

“She’s certainly shifted a lot around.”

He pursed his lips, “Credit to the girl,” Catra flinched at the slightly condescending tone, “but, well… she’s one person.”

“Uh huh. So, you used to run stuff?”

“Oh gods no. I run the budgets. Let other idiots make the decisions and talk to the poor kids out there. I’m… I’m not that sort. Give me a spreadsheet. But, well… a lot seems rather superfluous.”

“Like paying the old CEO?”

“What? Oh, no, he got cut loose. Along with a lot of other dead weight - that I approve of. Frankly, we run well, good donations and of course Ms Sato donating doesn’t exactly hurt. And we are operating well.”

“Oh?”

“Like I said… we don’t really need change. Adora keeps… switching things up. More changes just disrupt things.”

Catra made a few more notes and nodded, “So, you like to keep to your corner, basically?”

The man shrugged, “Being frank, yes. The less we spend on frivolity, the more we spend on actual, helpful things.”

“What determines a frivolity, in your mind?” Catra tilted her head. Frederick opened his mouth, then closed it and pursed his lips.

“I would say consultations, but this is free…. Why is that?” he eyed her carefully. Catra smiled guilelessly back at him.

“Adora spoke at my firm. This is me giving back - made me realise a few things I’d been being… slow about.”

He nodded and looked away for a moment, “I suppose…” his gaze took in the office, then he looked back, his face softening for a moment, “I think… I forget that not everyone is a corporate arsehole. Working here keeps me grounded and… and….”

“Anything that smells of corporate reminds you of Prime?” Catra prompted slowly. Frederick nodded, “But… you’re comfortable? But you don’t like Adora…?”

He looked up at her and the frown came back, “I don't like Adora?”

“I mean, you seemed to have a bit of an… exchange.”

The accountant slumped back and snorted, “Have you met the woman? She is… stubborn.”

“I get that impression, yeah.”

“Anyway, she’s stubborn, but we’re a loyal bunch. Your firm… Spinny and Netossa, right?”

“Yeah, you know them?”

“Through Angella, yes. They’re… good people.”

Catra snorted again, “And you still thought I was here with snake oil and powerpoints.”

Frederick shrugged, “Two people don't make a Firm. You can have ideals, but they get lost. Prime used to be a good place. Full of good people. But it changed. Adora…”

“You think  _ Adora _ would do that?” Catra managed to keep the heat out of her voice.

“Adora came in and shook the place up - not going to deny, it needed it. I’d been saying it for ages, but no one  _ listened _ . Then she came in and… I’ll grant she did a great job. But she is  _ one _ woman.”

Catra nodded slowly and made a note, “So, processes… do you interact with Adora? The board? Is that part of your frustration?”

“Well, the oversight can get a bit much, but it’s good to get sign off on the big decisions. Mostly. But it can sometimes feel a bit... overzealous.”

“That a board thing, or an… Adora thing?”

“A bit of both. Larger projects require the Trustees to sign off. Most day to day, that’s Adora.”

“Isn’t that, like, best practice? Budget assignments need Operational sign off?”

Frederick tilted his head and did a sideways nod, “Yes… well, yes it  _ is _ .”

“So…?” she waved a hand, arched an eyebrow and ultimately attempted to give a  _ what gives _ air to her expression.

“Frankly, things need to just tick over, Adora shouldn’t be… concerning herself with such things.”

“But.. she’s in charge? Surely department heads approve minor budgets after overall annual approvals have been assigned to each group? She should just be signing off on big stuff? I mean the big stuff that isn't big enough for the board, or just sits otuside normal department budget?”

“Well, yes. But it seems a bit much when she approves everything.”

Catra blinked and pursed her lips, “She asks for _everything_ to go by her?”

Frederick opened his mouth then paused. He blinked and then shrugged, “Well… she _approves_ everything; signs off on it I mean. All the department approvals have her sign off on there. She hasn't specifically asked _me_ to flag things. But... maybe she asked the department heads?”

“You don't know? Huh. Ok… so is it policy she approves everything? Or departmental approval?”

“Well, departmental, really.”

"Don't you guys... cover that in meetings?"

"Oh no... I mean I do my bit on the budget, overall intake and run costs. But I tend to collate departmental reports, then give Adora the annual budget. The individual department budgets are based on the Head's own reviews and she signs off on that. Anything they then use that budget for is technically their call. But it seems she approves that too. Case by case."

Catra hummed and nodded, then smiled broadly, “Ok, well… I’m not gonna ask to look at budgets! Not my field, but an idea of… well, profit, loss, expenditure in broad terms?”

Frederick, she had to admit was… a bit of a whizz. He knew his way around numbers. And he was actually fairly positive about the Charity - the fact there was very little “ _ dead-weight” _ as he put it. They drilled down, and Catra got a bit of a view on how lean the whole thing really was - in the black, not much in the way of profit (But it was a charity after all) but a run-rate that wasn’t dire.

But still, that factor of  _ Adora _ .

Catra knew what the issue was. She knew it in her bones. She huffed and smiled as Frederick turned off his presentation, “So, all good by the looks of it. I can see you’ve got some… reservations. About me. And… deeper. I can guarantee it’s all anonymous, but… I imagine Prime hasn’t exactly filled you with confidence?”

“For firing me for being gay you mean? I am no snitch…”

“No, but you value this place. And… maybe the people? If it could help them… well, is it so bad? As I said, it’s down to Adora and the board to take on anything. Is it snitching if it's to help someone?”

He met her gaze and frowned, “And if the problem  _ is _ Adora?”

Catra met his gaze levelly, “Then I’ll tell it to her face. I’m not a coward. I won’t dress it up. If she’s bullying people, making things difficult.”

He actually  _ recoiled _ at that, “What? No! Just… she needs to stop being so… so damn  _ officious _ . Actually talk to us like people, maybe. Stop trying to steer every part of the bloody ship herself. It’s aggravating and just…”

Catra leaned back, “But you get left alone, right?”

“I mean, well.. Yes… just… the others all seem to be walking on eggshells and I can  _ feel _ it. Reminds me of Prime. And frankly the girl needs to just… let things  _ run _ .”

“Your issue is she’s… too proactive?”

“She needs to know her limits. Know the boundary of her authority,” he looked uncomfortable, “That’s… not quite what I mean. She needs to understand that  _ we _ have jobs to do. This isn’t a firm for her own personal crusade, her own bank to sort her vendetta with Prime out. That we don't need so much _oversight_.”

Catra tilted her head, “Oh? But… you don’t exactly have a good view of Prime either?”

“I settled out of court. So did Geoffrey. That’s good enough for us. But taking on a titan of industry? It won’t end well, and what about the fallout? We go down, who steps in to take our place?”

That made Catra pause and she bit her lip, “You’re thinking bigger picture?”

“Not really…” the man seemed to deflate, then gestured out at the room, “I just want to keep the place running, keep the lights on. If I’d… if this had been around when I was a lad? Would I have chosen differently? Adora is… ambitious. Driven. She makes others see stars. But she just… gets involved _ where she needs to let us do our own thing.” _

Catra nodded slowly, “Let things… tick over? Like you had at Prime?” her voice was level, but had a faint edge. Frederick narrowed his eyes.

“No. Not at all.”

She held her hands up, “Not implying anything. Just...an interesting take. Basically, if it’s running, why change?”

He seemed to relax a little, “Fundamentally. We do good work. But do we need to be fighting  _ every _ battle?”

The conversation petered out a little and Frederick excused himself to tackle a few work related tasks. Catra tapped her pen against her notebook, then glanced up as the door opened again. Amaya stood there, with Gren. She signed briefly and Gren nodded, “Um, is it ok if Amaya reschedules for tomorrow morning? She has a date.”

Catra grinned, then looked at Amaya’s face, “No worries. Don’t wanna stand in the way of romance. Can we aim for 9:45? Just so I don’t interfere with the rest of your day?”

Amaya quirked a grin and nodded, then signed another series. Gren blinked and smiled, “Hopefully you won’t be burning the midnight oil, like Adora?”

Catra twitched her ear and tilted her head, “Nah, I tend to close down and go home. Work better with a glass of wine and cosy clothes, y’know?” she shrugged, “And while this place has beer taps, that just feels _ weird _ to me.”

Amaya nodded, then signed  _ good evening then _ and left, Gren in tow. Catra returned to her notes and chewed her pen.

She knew what the problem was. And everyone here had a different _view_ of that problem. She was starting to see it in the round; like all the people trying to agree what an elephant looked like by only touching part of it, the team leads had their view. The question was… how to  _ fix _ it?

* * *

A few hours later, Catra had her stuff packed and was ready to go - the office had pretty much emptied, only a couple of stragglers dealing with late calls stayed at their desks. With a huff, Catra shouldered her bag and answered her mobile.

“ _ Kitten, how’s the life of bleeding hearts going?” _

“Hey DT. yeah it’s… interesting.”

_ “Is that code for being taken on a photocopier?” _

Catra paused, looked at her phone and then  _ tsked _ , “You… are the worst.”

_ “Just saying, snap that minx up. Or I will. I WISH people busted fire escapes for me. The ROMANCE! The DRAMA! The untapped sexual tension. Mhm Hmmm…” _

“Stop it. We’re… working it out. And so far, this idea is not terrible.”

_ “Yeah. Tell me that in five days. You’ll be climbing the walls, if you haven’t managed to climb her, Kitten.” _

Catra practically growled. She walked out of the conference room - cum - office and made for the main door that led to the elevators. She paused in the open plan and saw that Adora was still working. The woman had her head resting on her hand… yep she looked asleep. Catra bit her lip, but DT clearly heard  _ something _ .

“ _ Did you just  _ sigh _ Kitten? Am I that vexing?” _

“Oh, uh… no, just thinking. Gotta run through the stuff the team leads sent me. I’ve already got an idea of… the issue. But never hurts to double and triple check, especially if I get to sit in with the teams.”

_ “Oh look at you. Being very involved. So profesh.” _

“Shut up. So… any major issues?”

_ “Your other girlfriend called. So, you have a fallback if tall-blonde-and-worth-it goes no where ‘cos you messed up.” _

“Ouch.”

“ _ Hey, I have faith. Just sayin’ OPTIONS babe.” _

”What.. Other…”

_ “Oh the one with the moustachio’d lothario? Well, he would be if he wasn’t SMITTEN. Ugh, I swear, all you people with your love. All so…. Cute. No real drama.” _

“You have met those two, right?” Catra leaned on a desk, unable to tear her eyes away from Adora. It had been so long, so many years not seeing her. She just wanted to stay there and watch. To make up for lost time. To rebuild the bridge.

It was a physical  _ ache _ in her chest.

_ “Ugh it’s all an act. Caught them practically performing a kama sutra position on the way out of the office. I mean, I’m all for expression, but invite a bitch first, riiiight?” _

“Right…. So, did they?”

_ “Well, no. More’s the pity. He looks like he could go for DAYS and well… she just exemplifies hate sex, right?” _

“No, no not even  _ entertaining _ that thought. Was this call  _ for _ anything?”

_ “Oh just checking in Kitten. Shout if you need anything. Well, nearly anything. And don’t video call unless it’s appropriate.” _

“With you that could mean anything.”

_ “Oh hell yes. Ciao!” _

Catra sighed and pocketed the phone. She glanced at the exit then rolled her shoulders and pushed open the door to Adora’s office, “Hey, ‘Dor?”

The blonde huffed and looked up. Her eyes were glazed and she blinked a couple of times. Then her face broke into a smile like a sunrise. Catra was glad she was holding onto the door because she just wanted to actually  _ say _ ‘awwwww’. Instead she settled for a snarky smirk and an arched eyebrow, “Sleeping at your desk? Wow, you just hit all the cliches, don’t you?”

Adora’s smile didn’t falter. Her eyes just gave Catra the once over and she leaned back to stretch, “Frederick sent me over the finances for the month. I’ve got asks to approve… so many things. It all blurs. Just… taking a moment. And I didn’t get much sleep.”

Catra chewed her lip, “So, you get them to send you everything every day to check?” she kept the question light. Adora just snorted.

“Hardly. Seems people just.. .are bad at making decisions. I guess they want reassurance, y’know? It’s fine. No harm. Keeps them happy. Bit of cover at the top, you know? Leading, all that.”

Catra quirked an eyebrow but bit her tongue on that. _Not_ _yet_ she thought. _Not til we’re sure that’s the issue._ Instead she shrugged, “Well, you won’t be any help drooling on your keyboard. Fancy noodles?”

Adora raised her own eyebrow, “That sounds suspiciously like a date.”

“Nahhhh. A CEO taking a consultant out for a quick  _ welcome to the team _ meal, on her tab, which might also include filling said consultant in on the fact that the CEO has a  _ brother _ ,” she fixed Adora with her most unamused face, but couldn’t stop the faint grin.

Adora stared back at her, then sagged and dragged a hand down her face, “Teela, I am going to…. UGH!”

“C’mon, I mean… wow. Does he have your forehead? Is he, like, weeny? Did you drain him of his muscle mass? Does he have a hair poof like you used to have?” Catra smirked and beckoned, “Come on. Food. No drinking, I promise. Just…. Catch up time. And NO work talk.”

“But… I have…”

“Look,  _ I’m _ working back at home, ok? Got things to do. WORST case… you come back here to pick your stuff up.”

Adora frowned, “You’re… not going to stop me?”

Catra shrugged, “I’m not your girlfriend, Adora,” she saw the faint twitch on the blonde’s face and felt a small swell of anticipation. She smirked and added a, “ _ Yet _ . But… this is your life. I can’t tell you what to do. Not until it impacts me, or it LOOKS like it’s bad for you. And even then… I can only  _ advise _ .”

The blonde tilted her head and gave a slightly lopsided grin, “You listened to some of my calls, huh?”

“Guilty. You have a knack for reaching kids. Who knew? Big old head useful for something. Now, I’m hungry and unless your offer of whiteboard railing is on the table…”

“Or on the whiteboard,” purred Adora. Catra waggled a finger and the blonde grinned.

“Dad jokes will get you  _ negative _ points. Anyway,  _ I’m _ being good. Now, get your ass out of that chair. We are getting food and I will  _ try _ to persuade you to not work with PG related activities. Like talking. And coffee. But if you want to come back here and fall asleep at your desk accomplishing net freaking zero, not gonna stop you.”

“Catra, you had me at Fancy.”

“Not yet I haven’t. So, get moving.”

Adora relaxed, then flicked her computer off and snatched up her bag. She had a pantsuit on, but her bag looked more like a duffel. Catra glanced at it. Adora shrugged, “Gym kit.”

“You never quit, do you?”

The blonde smirked and shoulder nudged her, “Oh trust me, that’s going to pay off in your favour down the line.”

Catra nearly fell over her own feet as the blonde laughed. The cat girl cursed internally.

DT was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is a SLOWWWW burn now.
> 
> Not much more to go I think. And before you critique poor ol' Frederick - he's an old school boy happy in his lane who doesn't like change all that much. But, yeah... not a bad guy but also not the most ambitious ;)
> 
> They all seem to have a VIEW on Adora, don't they? And not all bad... wonder what the problem could be...?
> 
> Feedback, as ever, appreciated!


	20. My breath to your ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra handles some perceptive people
> 
> She gets through to a certain blonde
> 
> Promises are made.

Catra groaned as her alarm blared its far too cheerful alert. She winced as she cracked an eye open and surveyed the wreckage that was her coffee table. As she’d expected, she’d fallen asleep on her couch, in her _comfy_ clothes. She’d, basically, burned the midnight oil, then lit some metaphorical early morning candles as well.

She was also rather proud of herself - for _not_ dragging Adora into her flat and demanding the blonde rail her over the kitchen counter.

She was also angry with herself _for the same reason_.

They’d escaped the office without sullying any photocopiers, desk surfaces, elevator walls or receptionist desks. And the pair had managed (barely) to keep to a civil conversation over noodles. Yes, they’d taken a detour through the park. Lots of finger-brushing and shy smiles. The odd shoulder barge. And _yes_ Adora had lifted her _as if she weighed nothing_ and spun her after Catra had made a dig about being _all jock_.

Adora holding her with ease and then leaning in to whisper _“You say it like it’s a bad thing,”_ and Catra responding with _“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Princess_ ,” had _nearly_ broken both of them. Until they’d basically heard the gasp of a passing tourist which just sent them into a giggle fit.

They had _briefly_ touched on the “Adam Situation”, which Adora decided sounded _far_ too dramatic for the man _“Catra, it’s like a bad airport paperback. The guy is so straight it’s PAINFUL. Also clueless. And that’s ME saying it. But… he’s a good guy.”_

Catra hadn’t pushed too hard - it was still a bit awkward; she had only told Glimmer and Bow and then sworn them to secrecy. As far as anyone else knew, Adam was just Teela’s other half. Adora and Adam were still working out what they were. Blood related, yes but.... So much time had passed, and Adora was so focused on the charity…

Another point Catra had added to her mental checklist _zoning out family as well_.

But to REALLY confuse Catra’s already frazzled and besotted senses, Adora had even dropped her off at her apartment and then _kissed her hand_. Admittedly not in some showy, flourish way - she’d just lifted it as Catra stood on the step, and pressed a single kiss to it as they entwined fingers, her blue eyes focused on Catra like lasers.

And, really, what was Catra supposed to do with that? _Not_ immediately jump into the shower and… handle it?

Well, she’d had to, really. Only way she was going to be able to focus on getting _any_ prep work done.

After being dropped off, Catra had gotten to work. Melog had spent _their_ evening just sprawled on the other end of the coffee table, eyes focused on Catra as she worked her magic. The fruits of which now sat in the various decks and spreadsheets - well, the _layouts_ at least. She had a lot of empty data fields - but she _did_ have a database for storing responses to questions; a few comparison graphs on call numbers, productivity and even a few budget sheets. Along with a brief piece on the company’s various policies.

All in all, not a bad additional six hours work.

The downside: she needed coffee. _Badly_.

A buzz from her phone drew her attention.

**Adora:** y u no here?

**Catra:** Cos work? Also, BEHAVING Princess

**Adora:** >:(

**Catra:** There are emojis. Also, don’t you usually like, go bench press a car at 5 AM?

**Adora:** slept in. Gud dream.

Catra groaned and leaned her head back over the couch. Adora was _not helping_.

**Catra:** You seem hungover. Also I remember your built in hatred of MORNINGS.

**Adora:** hangovers go way. This wont

 **Adora:** also I WANT hangovers 2 go way. This.... no.

 **Adora:** not til I c u

**Catra:** When did you get so needy

**Adora:** since u

She stared at her phone. What was she supposed to do with _this_? Aside from go beet red under her fur. And purr like crazy/

**Adora:** k realise I am being super 4ward and not helping

 **Adora:** however - counterpoint

 **Adora:** dont care n miss u

**Catra:** counsel makes a compelling case.

She clutched her phone and exhaled.

**Catra:** I miss you too.

 **Catra:** BUT we are gonna DO THIS PROPERLY

**Adora:** Boo.

**Catra:** You just don’t want to hear what I have to say about the charity eh? ;)

 **Catra:** Are you… scared?! :D

**Adora:** no.

 **Adora:** nope

 **Adora:**...a little.

**Catra:** I promise not to have them sack you :P

**Adora:** Har har.

 **Adora:** But what if that IS the solution?!

Adora was typing in full words - a sign she had _Gotten Serious._ Catra sighed but knew the best way to stop an Adora spiral was to stick a pole in her mental bicycle spokes.

**Catra:** then you can become my live-in-maid and footstool.

 **Catra:** I can see you in a maid outfit

 **Catra:** In fact I need a shower…. 

**Adora:** No fair!

 **Adora:** Catra

 **Adroa:** CATRA

Her phone buzzed as Catra ignored the messages. She grinned and picked it up, with a “ _Heyyyy_ Adora.”

_“That was playing dirty.”_

“I have to get past that massive forehead somehow, to stop you panicking. Now, wind the worry back. I am HELPING. And not just so I can get you in my pants. Because I _care,_ Adora. And anything I do… is to help. And if you _don’t_ take my advice… then that’s fine as well, ok? Because it’s advice for _you_. And a bit of insight. Because I’m amazing and perceptive and stuff.”

There was a huff on the other end of the line, “ _Eventually, yeah.”_

Catra felt a faint twinge there, some minor shred of guilt, but she knew Adora was teasing, “Yeah, I know. Better late than never.”

_“I’ll take late. You heading in today?”_

“Yeah. I’ll see you there?” she couldn’t help the faint tinge of hope in her voice. Adora exhaled with a breathy laugh.

“ _Yes. Yes you will. God why is this… so hard.”_

“Because we knew rushing in was a _bad idea_ . I mean… we don’t _know_ each other yet… like we said?” Catra wasn't so sure about that - case in point - their current easy dynamic.

_“I am beginning to dislike me from a week ago.”_

“She had some good points to make. And hey, look at us now? This is a positive right? I mean.. We’re talking.”

_“Yeah, I know. And… and I think that’s why it’s hard. Because I want to talk. I want to be next to you. I want to just… listen to you.”_

Catra closed her eyes, “I… yeah. Trust me. Feeling is so so mutual. Gods Adora I… wasted all that time and…”

_“HEY! No apologies, remember. You don’t want me down the spiral, I don’t want you doing Weaver’s thinking for her. So, be the scary consultant, go… throw presentations at people and then come out with me for lunch.”_

“Is that a date?”

_“Only if we kiss at the end. Otherwise it’s a corporate power lunch.”_

“Eat in or eat out?”

_“We could do both….”_

Catra groaned and growled into the phone, “Adora, _behave_. We are… not a thing yet.”

_“Beg to fuckin’ differ. BUT I will… try to not be so ridiculously needy.”_

“Good girl,” and well, if that didn’t get a strange (But very interesting) noise out of Adora. Catra blinked. They were going to have to work on their power dynamics at some point. They were flying all over like a Newton’s Cradle.

“ _Alright. I do actually need to go and… work off some tension. By bench pressing something.”_

“As long as whatever you bench press doesn’t have a pulse and is capable of _romantic feelings_ ,” Catra growled before she could stop herself. Adora chuckled.

_“That pleasure is saved for you. When this is all done. I promise.”_

Catra trilled happily, “I do work well with incentives! Now, get on with you before I completely lose my morning, Princess.”

“ _See you at work, babe.”_

Adora hung up before Catra could process the endearment. She glared at her laptop, “Right. To fuckin’ _battle_. Got a Princess to save.”

* * *

An hour later she was in the strange, shared office space once more, coffee cup in hand and at least a semblance of being a productive member of society. As she walked through the entry gates to the sprawling assortment of benches and bean bags that made up the building’s lobby she caught sight of Amaya. Another woman stood next to her - dark skin and… horns?

An _elf_? Interesting.

Amaya turned and looked over then smiled and waved. The elf frowned but Amaya tilted her face back around and planted a very firm kiss on her lips. That left the poor woman _very_ dazed. Catra approached and Amaya turned , then glanced at the elf and signed something to her. The dark skinned woman glanced between the pair then smiled. Her voice, when she spoke, was husky, with a faint accent.

“Catra, I presume?”

Catra grinned and nodded, ”A pleasure.” 

The elf held out a hand, “Janai. Amaya said you were working with the charity for a while?”

The magicat nodded, “Yeah, the team did a presentation with my firm and, well… I felt the need to offer my help.”

Janai and Amaya exchanged a glance that _immediately_ got Catra’s hackles up. She frowned slightly and Amaya noticed the change in expression. She signed something and the elf winced, “That is… certainly rather selfless. Not many just donate their time. Especially not in the city!”

Catra’s tail lashed for a moment, but she smiled, “Yeah, well. Corporations have charitable commitments, we get reviewed on what we give back to the community…” she said it with sugar in her voice, practically dripping insincerity. She watched the women for a moment then shrugged, “Plus, y’know, shitty upbringing by a homophobe and a rough time finding myself. Time to give back.”

Janai blinked and even Amaya looked a little stunned. The elf coughed and then rolled her shoulders, “Sorry that may have sounded… a bit cynical. Amaya gives her all to this so we’re… yeah this just sounds like a crap excuse,” she winced again and looked contrite.

The expression mollified Catra somewhat. She shrugged, “I get it. Prime, city councillors on some _family values_ shit. Been there, got the pamphlets. But, y’know, maybe take a moment to talk - appreciate you didn’t outright come out and say I was a complete corporate shill,” she grinned and maintained eye contact with Janai then nodded and looked at Amaya, “Ready for that meeting? I’ll see you upstairs in.. fifteen, if that still works?”

Amaya nodded and her face shifted to an apologetic smile. Catra shrugged and gave a faint smile back, then nodded to Jinai. As she turned, Janai reached out, “Thank you for helping. It’s been…. Stressful. Amaya and I, we’ve been worried.”

The magicat cocked her head, “About the charity? So far, seems to be… mostly running fine.”

Amaya signed something and Jinai translated, “About Adora.”

Catra snorted and the women blinked. Amaya frowned faintly and Catra just smiled, “Well, that’s kind of obvious,” she leaned forwards, “A pleasure to meet you Janai, hopefully see you around after all this is done. Seems like good people here.”

With that, she turned and headed for the lifts.

She had just left the elevator and was walking past the ladies when the door opened and an arm reached out to drag her inside. Catra had an impression of being twirled and felt her ass hit the sink surface before she registered Adora’s grin and the sparkle in her eyes.

“Good morning!”

Catra blinked and snorted, “Hey dork.”

Adora stared at her and her tongue briefly ran across her lower lip. Catra’s gaze flicked to it immediately, then back up to Adora’s eyes. She quirked her eyebrow in challenge and her ears flicked. And then, a pair of lips claimed hers. Catra groaned into the kiss.

The buff blonde pulled back and grinned roguishly, but it faltered slightly, “Sorry. Sorry. Over the mark.. I…”

Catra reached forward and grabbed the lapels of Adora’s jacket. Her brain registered that Adora was _in a suit_ . That definitely messed with her focus. She yanked Adora back and returned the kiss. Time seemed to blur for a moment as their lips clashed. Adora’s tongue traced her lower lip and Catra opened to allow her entry. For a moment they just _clung_ to one another, then Adora pulled back once more. Catra couldn’t help the yowl of disappointment, but heaved a breath as well.

Adora’s eyes looked glassy and she swallowed, but that shy smile was back. Catra’s heart thudded in her chest. The blonde ran a hand through her hair, “Um, well… that _wasn’t_ what I had planned.”

Catra smirked, “Oh?”

“Uh, no, um… I … I actually just wanted to say good morning and.. Um.”

“Lower brain got there first?” Adora flushed and Catra snorted, then leaned forwards, “Not complaining. Kinda, may have… instigated a bit too. Though this is.. _Risky_. Like, falls without improper conduct level-risky.”

Adora slumped back against the cubicles behind her and sighed, “I know. And… I know.”

Catra cocked her head, then frowned, concerned, “What?”

The blonde swallowed and her voice came out hoarse, “I wanted to wake up next to you today. I just _felt_ that. And that is FAR too much to feel now. We agreed to do this.. Slowly. To build up. Heck, _I insisted_. I got angry! And you… were so patient,” she sighed, “I… this is too much, isn’t it? Again?”

Catra hopped off the sink topped and stalked towards Adora. She reached up and gripped the woman’s chin gently, tilting that face back down, getting those blue-grey eyes to focus on her, “Did you _forget_ the damn messages this morning? Did you _forget_ me pretty much confessing, Adora?” she chided, “This is me in it for the long haul. But…” and here she waggled Adora’s face a little, which drew a small smile from the blonde, “ _behave_. Because I am a professional.”

She trailed her fingers down Adora’s cheek to her throat. The blonde inhaled slowly and Catra swallowed. Adora quirked an eyebrow, “Take a picture… you might need evidence for your _professional_ portfolio...”

Catra chuffed, then slid her hand to Adora’s shoulder, then down her arm to clutch at her hand, “That was… a nice good morning though,” she closed her eyes and sighed, “And… yeah, I missed you too, you impulsive idiot.”

Adora chuckled then stepped past Catra to turn on the sink. She looked over her shoulder and winked, “Gotta cool down. My workout this morning solved _nothing_ . If you insist on talking about _outfits_ … expect retaliation.”

Catra grumbled and shook her head with a fond smile, “You are going to be the death of me, Adora.”

The blonde grinned and it was so open and honest it made Catra’s throat tighten, “Um, cool. Well, not cool. Don’t want you to die. Definitely not.”

With a wink, Adora left the bathroom, not a hair out of place. Catra regarded herself in the mirror and snorted. Her hair wasn’t all that messed up but she did have a lipstick smear across her mouth. She resolved that quickly and checked her watch - five minutes before Amaya. Well at least Adora was respectful of her schedule.

“Why didn’t you do this _last night_ you blonde moron,” groaned Catra, but she had a smile as she said it.

* * *

Amaya met Catra at the conference room door, Gren in tow. Catra nodded at her and stepped inside. The deaf girl gave her an appraising look and nodded to herself, a gesture Catra ignored. She placed her now-lukewarm coffee down, along with her laptop case. She plucked her notebook from the bag and sat down, then glanced between the two people sat opposite her and grinned.

“Thanks Amaya - trust your date went well?”

The woman returned the grin and waggled her eyebrows. Gren groaned, “I don’t think you need me to interpret that, do you?”

Catra just snorted then shook her head at Amaya, “Can see why you’re smug. Janai seems nice.”

Gren watched as Amaya signed, then shook his head with a chuckle, “Yes, but blunt. So, apologies for her lack of decorum.”

The magicat tilted her head, “But not apologising for yours?”

Amaya smirked and shrugged then signed again. Gren watched and spoke, interpreting, “You got me. We talked. But this is a strange thing. And we’re worried, can you blame us?”

“Yeah, I get it. So, boilerplate answer I’ve given the others: Not here to fire anyone, not even here to shake stuff up, or tattle on what you tell me. All anonymous, all just data points. See if there is an issues, then ID whether it’s y’know… software, process or people. And then offer options. Down to you guys whether you take them.”

Gren watched Amaya’s fingers and arched an eyebrow, “You mean up to Adora.”

Catra stared at the woman and shrugged, “What’s the chain of command? Does the buck stop with her? Or the board?”

The deaf woman stared at her and frowned, then her hands moved again, “Be honest, you are biased.”

That brought a smirk to Catra’s face, “We’re circling round your initial rather _embarrassing_ attempt to sound me out in the group meeting, right?” she saw Amaya tense up but just shrugged at her, “I mean, at least Frederick was fairly blatant in his opposition, but you tried to embarrass me _and Adora_ in there,” her words became a growl and her claws extended into the table. Amaya’s gaze flicked to them then back up to Catra’s face. She looked faintly alarmed and a bit defensive. Catra ploughed on, “But… I’m gonna take the question in the _spirit_ you asked, ‘k? ‘Cos Adora’s mental health means a _lot_ to me. Because, yeah, I know here. And I reckon a lot of all _this_ is because of me.”

Amaya blinked then slumped back and stared. She managed to raise her hands and sign. Gren blinked, a little confused but repeated the words, “You’re…. Her?”

Catra shrugged, “Gonna have to be more _specific_. Adora’s a popular girl,” Catra’s smile was borderline feral. Amaya signed quickly.

“From the re-education lists? She went all in on Prime after we found the extracts. Ramped _everything_ up. She was focused but… after those lists we went all in.”

They regarded each other for a moment and Catra then let out a squeaky laugh and leaned back, “Oh, man, I’m a _lot_ more than that. But I can imagine I’m… yeah a catalyst. And this… this is me making up for that. And I don’t do half measures, ok? So I won’t half ass this. I won’t throw people under the bus - because, like I said, reputation. But I will protect Adora from anything damaging her. Including _herself_.”

Amaya stared at her for a moment then grinned and nodded. She signed rapidly, “What do you need then?”

Catra felt a bit wrong footed then arched an eyebrow, “How about some honesty? What’s the issue, in your eyes?”

“A woman taking on the world and being the punching bag for everyone, but not letting others help,” Amaya didn’t even break stride. Gren had to rattle the words out quickly, to keep up with the lightning fast movements of the woman’s hands, “Someone who also won’t say _no_ and looks after _everyone_.”

“Micromanaging?”

Amaya grimaced and held a hand up, palm down, then wiggled it. She signed again, “Not quite. She doesn’t ask. People just… tell?”

Catra groaned, “It’s freaking study buddy time all over again,” she saw the confused frowns, “High school, Adora used to help us all with our work. I mean, she wasn’t the _best_ academic student. But she made us all planners, guides, diaries, y’know? Forced us into study groups… well, she _didn’t_ but she organised it. It was all on us… and it felt controlling but she never _forced_ us to do anything. And one semester she didn’t too busy with sports and we all just… harassed her for our guides. So she just… kept doing them. Nearly failed her own exams that semester.” 

Catra remembered that time - she’d dragged the exhausted blonde to the mall and forced her to just _take a damn day_. She’d been one of the people whining at Adora for the guides, but had noticed the blonde practically collapsing after school. That had been her first bout of guilt.

She should have stuck with the empathy, rather than gone down the Hordak route… but if he could change, then so could she. And she was. Now.

Better late than never, right?

 _I’ll take late._ Adora’s words made Catra’s heart warm.

Amaya nodded slowly, then signed, “Yes. Maybe… I shall show you this,” She unfolded her laptop and brought up some IT diagnostics, “This is a track of email traffic. I set it up to monitor things like spam, that sort of thing.”

Catra snorted, “Spying on workers? Seeing that they’re sending out _work emails_ only.”

Amaya snorted as Gren signed that to her. She shrugged, “Partly - it’s to ensure we aren’t having inappropriate stuff shared - large files that could just be put ina shared drive. But it does track most used addresses.”

Catra blinked at the name at the top of the list and sighed, “Of course.”

Gren and Amaya gave her sympathetic winces and Amaya typed into a text box on the screen, “She’s CC’d in on 66% of internal company email traffic. Mostly anything project related. And approval related.”

The magicat ran her hand through her hair and growled, “Did she _ask_ to be?”

Amaya paused and pursed her lips. She looked at Gren, then frowned deeper. She typed again, “Not really. She just responds when we do and so we just keep her looped in. She has wanted to be made aware. Especially with the legal stuff with Prime, she wants us on our game.”

Catra rubbed the bridge of her nose, “Yeah, no. Did she say that as a piece of _pep talk_ or as a _directive_ . Is there any specific meeting minutes or email or company note on a fuckin’ cork board that says she has to be on the dotted line for _everything_? Cos if she did, then she’s an idiot who I need to slap some sense into. If not… ”

Gren and Amaya shared another look and Catra actually chuckled. Amaya looked a bit confused and signed, “She works hard and we all want to work hard. We’re worried. This whole thing with Prime is really taxing.”

“But instead you all just send her more emails? Ask her to just, what? Give you all a nice warm fuzzy feeling?” she could feel her gut bubbling with anger, “Let me guess, even on weekends, if you get stuck on a pet project, you drop her an email? Or a text? Or… if you can, a phone call?”

Amaya blinked and raised her hands to sign, but it was Gren who spoke up, for himself, “I mean… we all cover ourselves? Everyone does it, right? Just… a bit of reassurance?”

“You have an office of about 70 people, right? Plus remote staff? Plus the fact she’s also a volunteer? Do any of _you_ make a decision? Or do you send it to her to make? Think about that - every day. Every week. Every evening. _Constantly_ . You gave your little slice of pie, but if you’re _outsourcing_ your responsibility?”

The pair stared at her. Amaya winced and looked at Gren who seemed to be very uncomfortable. She signed again, “Is that this issue?”

Catra shrugged, “Possibly. I need to see if those emails are just spam and memes first. If they are then maybe Adora is creating a tense atmosphere. But I have a feeling it’s… both simpler and more complex. She’s doing _something_ . But so are all of you. Unconscious environmental degradation… it happens when businesses don’t really pay attention to how they _do business_ and just… assume things work. Over familiarity _or_ far too distant. Gotta find the balance, y’know? People do stuff, it becomes habit.”

Amaya nodded and Catra steered the conversation towards more IT related matters - software, recording, data storage process.

After the meeting, a more thoughtful Amaya had left with a far more nervous Gren. Catra was now _pretty damn sure_ she knew what was busted in the place. The perils of working with friends; people who _assumed_ they knew you, or were close enough to spot things, but really… didn’t.

She was dragged out of her reverie by a clunking knock on the conference room’s glass door. When she looked up, she was caught in the dazzling smile of the woman she lov- _really liked_.

“Got time for a sandwich?”

Catra smiled, “Sure thing princess.”

* * *

The next few days were fairly busy - Adora had managed to just about limit her teasing to the odd trail of her hand against Catra’s as they passed in the hallways, or a shoulder bump against her as they went for lunch. Which was an every-day activity. As was dinner. And now, morning coffee.

But they managed to behave; no overnight stays, keeping any PDA above the belt and _mostly_ above the collar when they got faintly carried away out of sight of work.

She held off the _interview_ with Adora until later in the week, after she’d gotten some additional data. They sat in Catra’s makeshift office and faced one another across the table. Adora quirked a dark eyebrow at Catra and tried not to giggle, “Feel’s like some reality TV show and you’re about to tell me to clear my desk.”

Catra smirked, “At least you’re keeping it suitable for daytime TV.”

“Eh, pay per view’s overrated.”

Catra looked at the ceiling, “Wouldn’t know. Paragon of virtue, right here. Taught by the _best_ ,” she sneered the last word and looked away, guilty she’d dragged bad memories into their banter. She froze as a warm hand engulfed hers and she turned her head to see Adoras gentle smile across from her.

“Yeah. And they’re _good_ at what they do. Your mom… is not good people, Catra. Hope you don’t mind me saying that.”

“Preaching to the choir, Princess. Anyway, this isn’t about _me_ . It’s about _you_. Or, well… what you think the business looks like. So, let’s, uh… let’s do this?”

Adora nodded curtly and winced, “So, this week’s nearly done and then… next week?”

“Implementation. If you pick the changes I set out on Monday, of course.”

Adora blew out her cheeks and nodded. Catra noticed the blonde still had her hand in a tight grip. Blue eyes settled on her, “And if I’m the issue?”

Catra smirked, “Why’s it gotta all be about you, Adora? Like I said… I can just tell you what I’ve found. Down to you to… do something with it. This was me seeing _you_ . And your life. But it’s also you seeing me. Seeing me being _honest_. Can… can you still handle that? Even if… if I have to be harsh?”

She felt vulnerable, suddenly. She was reminded of the classical adage: _Don’t dip your pen in the company ink._

Or, more crudely _don’t shit where you eat_.

This overlap, this promise was.. As Netossa and Spinnerella had said - a bad Idea. If she was harsh, or if Adora took it personally or if she wasn’t _honest_ and Adora thought she was being insincere and…

A squeeze on her hand drew her back out of the sudden spiral. Adora fixed her gaze on her, “Remember Catra: no pedestal. Tell me straight.”

Catra exhaled and nodded, “Ok, but I can only do that when you… y’know, walk me through your views. So… let’s start with… approval processes…”

It was a _long_ meeting. They ran through the charity policy documents, procurement documents, hierarchy, org charts. _Everything._ Three cups of coffee apiece - brought by a concerned Teela - as well as a box of pastries - provided by Bolin - and they were still at it as others were filing out of the office at the end of the day.

Frankly, Catra saw _nothing_ wrong with the on-paper structuring and approach of the charity. Some frankly, _far too detailed_ documentation, with appendices so large you could kill a decently sized Thunderan with one.

“Jeez Adora, you didn’t need to tackle that guy in the club. You could’ve just thrown your employee manual at him.”

Adora glanced up from her laptop, “Nah, not as satisfying,” there was a gleam there.

“True. Plus you’d have had to redo the whole sticky markers,” teased the magicat.

Adora scoffed then ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Catra put her pen down and cocked her head. The blonde scrunched her face up then groaned, “This… is… I can’t believe I did most of this. Well, pulled it together. Most of this stuff was written by the team, y’know? And I review it, yeah but… it’s on them? And it’s _good_ .” 

Catra shrugged, “Is that a bad thing? That you didn’t _do_ it? I mean, are you a Server Admin? Do you have HR qualifications?”

Adora screwed her face up again then sagged, “No,” her voice sounded resigned, and she looked at Catra, “High School Planner.”

The feline grinned, “High School Planner. Do you _let_ them do their work though?”

Adora nodded, then shrugged, “I mean… yeah. Of course, there’s so much going on.”

A knock on the door made them turn - a gaggle of people stood outside the conference room. They seemed to be regarding Adora… strangely. WIth a faint amount of surprise, in fact. Mako leaned in through the open door, “Uh, hey… um, we’re, uh…. Heading to the bar, down the street? You guys want to… um… join?”

Catra, who as facing the door, watched Adora’s expression shift from hopeful to resigned to pained, then to shut down. Before she could speak, the magicat interjected, “Let us wrap this up. We’ll meet you there, ok?”

Adora stared at her and was about to turn, but Catra reached across the table and flicked her forehead. Adora froze and blinked. The people behind her in the room looked nonplussed. Catra looked up at Mako and made a _shoo_ motion, then winked.

The man blinked, then shrugged and ushered the others out of the office. Adora blinked and stared at Catra. She glared - it didn’t have the same heat as the night in Catra’s apartment, but Catra still held up a hand, “Right, before you do another apocalypse level meltdown….”

Adora clamped her mouth shut then breathed out through her nose, and rolled her eyes “Did you just…”

Catra leaned over the table and met her gaze, “You said you’d take my feedback. That you’d listen. Was that a _lie_ Adora?”

The blonde froze, blinked, then deflated, “Oh my god I am…”

“An idiot, yes, but… that’s ok. You are _strung_ so tight babe,” the blonde’s eyes flicked back up at Catra’s pronunciation of the endearment - soft, pleading. Catra saw Adora’s throat flex and she pushed on, “I… look, they _know_ we have a dynamic. And, frankly, we’ve worked together for a few days. You can brush that off as me being _quirky_ if you don’t want to address… us. Overstepping and all that. BUT… you also need to _see_ your people. You say no pedestal. But that’s how _they_ see you.” 

“I’m an ice queen Catra,” Adora’s voice was derisive, but pained. Catra met her gaze and shrugged.

“Then show them you aren’t. Show them She-raaaaaaa,” Catra made a mock-audience echo noise a _raaa raaaa_ sound and waved her hands. Adora snorted and Catra grinned, “Be a person. Like you are to me. Hell you _said_ you wanted my help.” 

“But you’re…. You,” Adora smiled, “I can be _cool_ with you. Honest. Aware.”

They regarded one another, the words that hung in the air. Catra huffed and stood, then walked around the table, her claws trailing over the glass top. Adora watched her, seemingly rooted to her chair. Catra swung her leg over Adora’s lap and straddled her, her arms going over Adora’s shoulders. She propped her forehead against Adora’s and focused her amber-and-blue eyes onto Adora’s, "Hey Adora."

“H...hey,” Adora managed. Catra smirked. The blonde swallowed, "This... isn't _behaving."_

The brunette tsked and shook her head, “I know. But it's helping you focus... Now, listen. I speak from experience that _pushing people away_ is a bad idea, ‘k. I… missed out so much. And… these people _care_ about you. But… yeah, they’re crap at showing it. Because they just see _hero Adora_ . And, spoilers for Monday, that’s _part_ of the problem. Ah!” she held up a hand and pressed a finger against Adora’s protesting lips, “Shh. Teacher’s talking.”

Adora swallowed and Catra saw the blonde’s eyes widen slightly. She needed to get this point across _quickly_. Adora inhaled, “....go on…” she managed.

Catra coughed, but pushed ahead, “...um, yeah so... _you_ aren’t the issue. But certain _behaviours_ are. Like, death by a thousand cuts, y’know? And part of that is perception. And a way to combat that is….” she leaned forwards and whispered into Adora’s ear, “Having fun.”

Adora shuddered a breath and Catra felt hands on her hips. Squeezing slightly. Her tail lashed, then wrapped around Adora’s calf. The blonde exhaled into Catra’s neck, “...we…. Aren’t exactly…”

“So… let’s finish up here, and… maybe you just have _one_ drink with your team. Buy a round. Show them that you _aren’t_ just a CC on an email. Show them what you show _me_.”

Adora groaned, “I need to be the _leader_ . Someone they respect. I thought… I thought helping would be about sorting out my ability to just _time manage_ better, y’know?” 

Catra gripped Adora’s chin and tilted her face up to stare into those eyes, “I see you Adora. I respect you. I ...love you,” she couldn’t stop it. It slipped out, free. More than just _I miss you_ or the unspoken yearning they'd batted back and forth, between the lines. She pushed ahead, “And I’m scared. I know _you_ are. Of failing them. I’m scared of failing _you_ but here I am. Hoping maybe you’ll listen to me? Because… because I can see this place means so much to you… but it takes you _away_ as well. And… and…”

She had opened her own internal floodgates now. It was too soon - she was meant to get the job done, then deal with these fears. That Adora wouldn't prioritisie. That, even with Catra's view, she'd _still_ take calls, disrupt dates, keep her as a secondary concern. She'd meant to wait! Another week! But Adora’s grip on her hips tightened, “Catra… thought we weren’t trying to _save_ each other.”

She sounded so faint. Catra chuckled and nuzzled Adora, “I know. But when you take those calls, when your face drops? You said you _knew_ you had issues, knew you had to face this. You know this place drags you away. It’s on you. If… if there’s an us… will you choose this over _me_ ?” she bit her lip and closed her eyes, “Because… I can’t ask you to do that. I know I can’t. I know. This is _too important_. People… I…”

Hands trailed up her sides and gripped her face. Not hard but firmly. Catra opened her eyes and saw tears in Adora’s eyes. The blonde pulled her in for a gentle kiss. It was like sunrise and Catra gasped into it. The blonde pulled away and stared at her. She smiled softly. It was like forgiveness.

“I am a mess Catra. A _mess_.”

“Yeah,” sniffled Catra. She grinned and blinked, “Yeah. Join the club.”

Adora sighed again, but didn't break eye contact, “I thought we were …. Doing this after we did the consulting thing.”

Catra smirked, “You keep inviting me to lunch dates. And dinner.”

The blonde pursed her lips then shrugged, “Yeah, yeah I guess. This is my lack-of-social-norms thing again, isn’t it?”

“You tell me. I’m not complaining, even if it is _entirely_ the opposite of what you insisted,” she wiggled in Adora’s lap and grinned at the response from the blonde - a throaty growl, “Also, yeah, good you’re listening. Because my presentation on Monday isn’t going to be _earth shattering_ . You know you can be a leader _and_ chill? Just… don’t do body shots with the secretaries?”

Adora blinked then leaned forwards and stared at Catra, “So… who can I do them with?”

Catra didn’t even flinch, “Me. On my coffee table. Alone. Because you’re _mine_.”

They stared at each other. Then Adora stood, hands under Catra’s thighs. Catra yelped as Adora sat her on the table and then kissed her _hard_. Their hands roamed all over, tugging, pulling, as they gasped against one another. Catra gripped at Adora’s hair and purred into the blonde’s mouth. Adora clung to Catra and pushed forwards, laying the magicat against the table. She froze and panted, then pulled back. The pair stared at one another and Adora swallowed.

“I love you.”

Catra smiled and swallowed thickly, “I love you.”

“And our first time is _not_ going to be on a conference table,” Conflicting emotions warred in Catra’s face and Adora smiled, “Maybe our _third_ time? Acceptable compromise?”

Catra whined and gripped Adora’s hair, “You do _not_ wind a girl up like this.”

The blonde leaned down and ghosted a breath across Catra’s ears, “This, babe… this is foreplay. Now. If you can be patient…. Let’s… let’s grab a drink and then…. I’ll make up for making you wait. Because I am _listening._ ”

Catra’s brain fizzed faintly, “But… dates. Later?”

“Like you said. Dinner and lunch. Or do you want to wait….”

Catra yanked her down and Adora’s laughed was drowned in the needy exploration from the magicat. They broke apart and Catra shot the blonde a mock glare, “Don’t. You. Dare.”

Adora stepped away, but slipped her hands to hold Catra’s. The brunette sat up on the table and inhaled. She stared at Adora for a moment, but the blonde spoke again, “For the record… the charity? You’ll never have to ask. For me to choose, I mean.”

The words fled from Catra’s mind. The sheer earnestness of Adora’s expression, then level of determination there. Adora had _decided_ something. Catra recognised the look - the same one from High School. That level of certainty that was ironclad. She blinked, “Uh, I… You. But this is…”

“A goal. But… I know what you’re going to say. Some of it. On Monday I mean,” she smiled and shrugged, a little self consciously, “I work in consulting too, Catra… to a point. Behaviour changing? Not rocket science. But… a second voice helps. And _you_ are important. To me. You matter to me. Always have. And now you’re here I… I can’t believe I nearly screwed that up again. So, what I'm trying to say is... I _know_ what my issues are. I need to hear it. But... _you_ are my priority.” 

Catra dragged the girl back and hugged her tight. She kissed the skin under Adora’s ear and smiled, “Ok, now you’re getting mushy. Remember, no self sacrificing hero shit? We _both_ promised that. So…. let’s get a drink. And then…”

Adora hugged her tightly then stepped away. Her eyes were wet but her smile was confident, “And _then_ … we make up for lost time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Office furniture will be defiled at some point.
> 
> I think we can safely say these two idiots are pretty much there. In the most complicated manner they can manage. We aren't done YET. But we're almost there.
> 
> I think this one works. It's messy, they're messy, they're wrestling with it. Adora is pretty much aware and there but.... she needs someone to help her over the line. Because she needs that external prod a little, still.
> 
> As ever, let me know your thoughts, whether it flows, whether it holds together. I've done some re-reads and editing on this over the past day but I'm not 100% on whether the point gets across. How close Adora is to actually accepting and doing that trust-fall.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	21. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few more faces, a few realisations, and a promise of more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Alcohol, drinking games, stupid competitive jocks.
> 
> I think... three chapters to go now. (I said that 2 chapters ago, I know) BUT we're approaching the close, the final challenge.

The bar wasn’t a particularly rowdy place - just a nice, warm, hole in the wall down a side street. Catra arched an eyebrow as she pushed open the door and glanced at Adora.

“I’m kinda expecting an audience and some painfully straight guy with a bar towel over his shoulder.”

The tall blonde scoffed and shoved her shoulder, but had no riposte to hand. Catra smirked and turned back as they walked into the bar proper. It was pleasant, with wood panels and cosy booths. There were a few tables set up around the brick-stone pillars that dotted the main floor. The members of the Light Hope group were dotted about, most milling around the standing tables or the bar. AS one, they turned and raised their glasses with a  _ Wheeeeey!  _ As the pair entered.

Catra chuckled and shot Adora a glance. The blonde managed an eyeroll and an awkward wave which, funnily, drew a smattering of good-natured chuckles. Mako strode over, a shorter man attached to his arm, “Hey, uh, Adora… guess I lost the bet,” his face shifted from amusement to sudden embarrassment. Adora arched an eyebrow.

“Oh? What bet?” Catra sighed, then looked at her. The blonde blinked, stared back, then deflated and smiled sheepishly at Mako. The man returned the look, then glanced at Catra with an arched eyebrow. He was saved as Bolin seemed to materialise behind his more serious brother.

“We were running a pool as to whether it’d just be Catra, or neither of you. You turning up was, like,  _ really _ low odds. No office,” the young man cringed as well, then winced as an olive skinned woman clipped him around the ear. He glanced at her and shrugged, “Whaaat, Opal? I’m telling the truth.”

“About the  _ boss _ …” she hissed, and shot Adora an apologetic look. The blonde seemed conflicted and chewed her cheek, an old  _ old _ gesture Catra recognised. She suddenly had the urge to grab for Adora’s hand but it felt wrong, overstepping - they weren’t out as a couple; it was risky; it could compromise things.

_ Fuck that noise _ .

Catra reached out and squeezed Adora’s wrist. The blonde blinked, then looked down. So did everyone else in their immediate vicinity. Adora looked up and Catra felt a lump shift into her throat.

Then Adora relaxed and smiled. It was so gentle and  _ genuine _ it drew a gasp from Mako, Bolin  _ and _ Opal. Then the girl whooped.

“FUCKING CALLED IT!”

Adora and Catra whipped about and stared at the young woman. Across the bar someone swore, “Seriously? No, no not buying it until, like, they share an Uber!”   


Mako frowned, then shrugged, “Nah, not buying it.

The man next to him reared back slightly, “Babe. Seriously. Seriously?” he gave the women an apologetic smile, “He’s charming but as dense as a brick sometimes. I mean, I love bouncing pennies off the washboard stomach, but  _ sometimes _ I need to drop more than hints with this one.”

Mako flushed as the man cupped his chin and tilted his face down, but Mako's face softened and he smirked, “Alright, Wu… but, maybe they don’t  _ want _ people to know, y’know? Professionals…?”

Wu blinked and then rolled his eyes, “Fair point. I suppose that’s why you do investigations. Subtext and all that.”   


Opal had turned back, but was now wide eyed, as she heard Mako. It was Bolin’s turn to fix a slightly superior stare on  _ her _ , but he couldn’t maintain it. He snorted and she swatted at him, half-heartedly. The rest of the bar, however, seemed only mildly interested.

Catra fidgeted slightly, suddenly unsure again. She risked a glance at Adora. The blonde had a faint furrow between her eyebrows. She turned her blue eyes to the magicat and nodded slowly, “No more lost time."  And then the sun came out as the blonde smiled again. She made a  _ shooing  _ motion to the group in front and her hand snaked into Catra’s. The brunette blinked in sudden surprise and felt herself being towed towards the bar. The other charity workers parted like a sea before a profit, some shooting confused glances, others curious ones. Regardless - Adora socialising was clearly a strange occurrence. She pulled a card from her pocket then looked around the bar.

“Frederick!”

The older man was near one of the standing tables. He turned and blinked, “Um, yes… Adora?”

“Just starting a tab on the card. Upper limit of 1000 ok?”

You could have heard a pin drop. Frederick blinked, “Um… I… yes?”

“Thanks. Sorry, should’ve cleared it with you first but…. I think we all need to just take a moment? Hey, guys… can I have your attention? Please? Thanks!”

Adora hopped up and sat on the bar, then leaned forwards, hands planted on the surface, a serious expression on her face. She took a breath, then looked at Catra. The magicat shrugged, “Your show, ‘Dora.”

The blonde nodded, then took in the room, “Ok, I’ll keep this short - I wanted to say thanks. All of you. It’s been…  _ freakin’  _ crazy, as this one would say,” she nodded to Catra, “and you’ve all been really helpful and patient, making Catra feel included, answering her questions, this week. It's been a little fast, I know, but I am so proud of all of you. And she’s told me  _ squat _ . I even asked  _ nicely _ !”

That got a chuckle. Catra scoffed, “Buy me dinner first, I’m not  _ that _ easy,” it could’ve come off as simple banter. Except...

Adora clearly didn’t  _ want _ it to. She smirked, “That’s  _ after _ you present to everyone next week, right? Miss Propriety?”

The crowd gave a fairly mixed response: a few shocked stares and wolf whistles, but some cheers too. Catra flushed and tried for a glare. But Adora’s soft look was, basically, her ultimate weakness. Instead she huffed and waved a hand, “Just don’t ruin my surprise, or whatever. Stealing my thunder on Monday.”

The blonde nodded and looked at the group, “There will be a chance to read the feedback, the results and all that next week. I want us to be transparent. Clear. We do hard work,  _ worthy _ work. And because of that, we need to know what we’re doing well… and what we’re not. That goes for all of us, me included. If I’m being a complete and utter idiot… I need to know. And I’ll do my best to listen to the feedback. Whatever it is. We are  _ not _ Prime. We don’t just listen to what we want to hear, do the things that are popular. We help people. And in recognition of that hard work - the tab’s open. BUT!” she held up a hand, “Drink  _ sensibly _ … and have fun.”

She grinned, then hopped off the bar to a smattering of applause. A few of the team closer to her slapped her on the shoulder and a few soft words were spoken, smiles shared. Catra shook her head, “Well I wasn’t expecting  _ that _ .”

Adora shrugged, “Be the change you want to see, right? You say I need to be more open… here we go," her goofy grin was plain as day and Catra snorted.

“Like, that’s an inspirational poster quote, right there. It… you don’t have to… change is something  _ you _ have to want, Adora. Not just to fit someone else.”

That got a set of folded arms and tilted chin aimed at her from the tall blonde. Blue eyes framed by arched eyebrows and a slight smirk, “How philosophical are you feeling, Catra? ‘Cos this could be a heck of a deep rabbit hole. Am I changing  _ for _ you, or because I  _ want _ to? What’s my motivation? Do I feel cornered? Is this all some weird elaborate mindfuck?”

Catra twitched and suddenly felt very scrutinised, “Uh, well." Adora relented and dropped her arms to rest them on Catra's shoulders.

“Look, babe,” Catra smiled at that, “I’m doing this  _ because _ I trust your feedback. Because… you’re right. And it takes a second pair of eyes to show that. I lost sight of a lot of things. And… maybe being a bit more relaxed might not be the worst. So, here we are. Of course, you advise me to go into the office in a chicken costume, I am gonna question that. And, I know I,” here, Adora looked away and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She gave a single shoulder shrug and flushed, "I'm not great at carving out stuff. Or realising, maybe, I should _make time_. So, yeah. This is a start, right?"

It was obvious to Catra - Of course Adora was barreling in. This was the woman who had  _ vaulted _ across a bar to defend her. Who had smashed open a fire escape. Who, very likely, had started a one woman crusade to destroy Prime (or ramped it up after starting to do good things) because she saw Catra’s name on a  _ list _ .

It warmed Catra in places she had long thought cold. Consulting had always made her feel better - people  _ listened _ whereas in the past they’d just tolerated. She had  _ worth, _ when before she’d just been an extension of her family. She’d had a position, an element of  _ presence _ in that she owned her space, was seen as an expert.  But, with Adora, the fact that she looked at her not as some businesswoman with a killer line, or a project lead who was an expert in her field, but rather as a  _ person _ she trusted felt a lot more valuable. The look she got from people in her client locations was one of satisfaction, respect, maybe admiration now and then.

But Adora looked at her with  _ trust _ .

She’d wanted that look for so long. And now it terrified her. The sudden fear that she’d misstep, say the wrong thing  _ again _ loomed in her mind and she swallowed. Catra managed a shaky, “Thanks Adora.”

The blonde studied her, then looked to the barman. Catra didn’t hear the order but blinked in surprise as a shot was slid in front of her. She looked up into blue eyes, as Adora spoke, “Get out of your own head. I can tell. Trust me that I trust  _ you _ .”

Adora raised her glass and Catra rallied, “You’re gonna get wasted  _ princess _ .”

That just got a snort, “Sounds like a  _ challenge _ .”

They sank their shots and Catra wheezed - she hadn’t expected it to be  _ that _ strong, “What the  _ fuck _ was that?”

Adora grinned widely, “Stroh. It tastes like diesel, buuuut hell if it doesn’t take the edge off.”

“I think it stripped my stomach lining.”

“Good - that’ll make the rest of the alcohol get in your more easily!” crowed Adora. This time she took a couple of larger glasses - pints of beer, “Something a little less menacing.”

“Raava! Grayskull’s on the beer? ‘Sami! SAMI! Did I hit my head?” The voice was loud, brash, but  _ enthusiastic _ . It was like hearing Adora but in a slightly different timbre. Catra blinked in confusion and looked to the bar entrance where a pair of women had just entered. They were night and day - the shorter of the pair (Though not by much) had dark skin, almost like Mermista, but it looked to be as much from time spent outdoors as her genetics. Her brown hair was cut into a shoulder-length bob and she had a clear undercut as well. She was also  _ toned _ . Bare arms revealed by a tank top and a set of fitted jeans. A blue leather jacket was slung, casually over her shoulder.

Her companion was a stark contrast - pale skin, raven hair and slightly taller. She radiated poise and command, enhanced by her clearly tailored clothing - a burgundy blouse, paired with a suit-pants and a high-collared jacket. Yet for all that poise, the look she gave the shorter girl next to her was shockingly familiar - it was the same one Adora had directed at  _ her _ a moment ago.

Absolute adoration.

The taller woman nudged the darker girl, “Kor, tone it down. I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for Adora doing a complete 180,” the pair approached nodding as Bolin waved frantically at them. Catra adjusted herself, suddenly self conscious. She recognised the taller woman and it took her a moment. Her brain clicked into place and she blinked.

“Hi! Asami Sato. And the grinning dork is my wife.-to-be, Korra,” the raven-haired woman smiled and it was  _ charming _ . She extended a hand and Catra took it.

“Uh, a pleasure. Catra Weaver… um, consultant.”

“Oh! You’re with Spinny’s firm? That’s great! How’ve you found it?” Asami tilted her head, while Korra skirted her fiance and made a beeline for Adora, her face a completely open book of mild consternation and eagerness. Catra felt suddenly outflanked as it was clear these two were  _ entirely in tandem _ . Asami followed her gaze and smirked, her expression suddenly challenging and a little mischievous.

Catra realised she was going to like the girl.

“Uh, yeah… it’s been interesting. Mostly been doing projects with private enterprise, y’know? So the charity sector is… a good change of pace.”   


Asami nodded, “So, just here for the experience?”

The magicat’s tail swished and she met the taller woman’s gaze. Asami wasn’t an idiot and seeing as most of the bar had cottoned on, she could spill a little. So, she shrugged, “I owe Adora a few favours. More than a few. So, this is me helping in the only real way I know how. I’m good.”

It wasn’t a boast, just a fact. Asami nodded, “I get that. You find something you’re good at, go 100%, right? I’m the same with cars. Hard to stop sometimes, though Korra’s gotten a lot better at managing me.”

Catra took a sip of her beer and glanced at Adora, “Well, we’ll see on Monday how well the feedback goes,” she saw Asami’s grin widen, “You gonna be there?”

“Oh, no… Future Industries has a presentation panel. We’re looking to acquire some of our competitor’s assets,” there was a slightly vindictive light in Asami’s eyes, “Past time too.”   


That made Catra tilt her head, “Let me guess…. Prime?”

Asami shrugged, “They’re in free fall. Lots of job losses if they go under. We’re making a  _ very _ generous offer. So, how do you feel having to maybe critique your girlfriend in a public setting?”

The question was so blunt it made Catra reel a bit, “Um. We… we aren’t… yet. Well we are, sort of?”

The tall woman’s smirk was teasing as she looked back at where Adora and Korra were tapping  _ another _ set of shots against the bar top, before slinging them back. A small group had crowded round, some faces clearly in shock at seeing their austere  _ boss _ kicking back. Catra snorted and Asami looked back at her.

“Well wherever you are, trust me when I say… don’t wait about,” Catra tensed and glanced back at the tall girl, but Asami just gave a shrug, “I nearly missed my chance with Korra.”   


“Well, just about propriety, y’know? Bias? Can’t be seen to be…”

That just got her an unimpressed snort and an arch of an  _ immaculate  _ eyebrow, “Please. There’s always a disaster. A reason to say no.”

Catra took another sip of her drink and regarded the businesswoman, “I mean, doesn’t it impact the firm? You’re on the board, right? How’d it look… professionally speaking?”

Asami shrugged, “A fair point; but there’s something there. But let me ask you this -  _ are _ you going to be honest on Monday? I mean, even if you weren’t dating? Would your answer change?”

Catra met those green eyes. They were warm, mischievous and also  _ incredibly _ sharp. She felt like the girl could cut steel beams with a stare. And they looked right  _ at _ her. So, she could only be honest, “I’m going to lay it all out. The good. The bad,” she tore her gaze away to look at her big, beautiful idiot.

_ Her _ idiot.

Who was now downing a pint as people chanted  _ Chug! Chug! Chug! _

Asami giggled as Korra sputtered and had to draw breath, before resuming her own attempt. Adora tipped the last dregs away and placed the glass atop her head with a  _ whoop _ . Catra snorted and Asma nudged her, “The bad, huh?”

“She wouldn’t let me live it down if I went soft on her.”

The tall girl nodded and then grinned again, “And now you know she can hold her breath without choking…” Catra flushed and turned sharply to the businesswoman, who just smiled. Asami then waved at Korra and arched another eyebrow, “Babe… I am  _ parched _ . When you’re done hulking out, get a girl that drink you promised?”

Korra turned and grinned. It was like looking at a shorter Adora, it really was, “AHH! Sorry ‘Sami. Just, y’know. We got Adora BACK! One old fashioned, coming up!”

Asami nodded and rolled her eyes but looked back at Catra, “And if nothing else, I think we have you to thank for that.”

“You had me to thank for losing her too,” murmured Catra. Asami shrugged.

“You’re here now. Trust me when I say  _ intent _ matters. I’ve had a lot of experience of less than stellar behaviours. It’s how people act after they’ve fallen that lets you see them, y’know?” her voice trailed slightly, as she seemed lost for a moment. Catra didn’t really need to ask: the story of Asami’s father and his rather unpleasant dealings was a well known  _ fact _ . The links to Prime were never proven but, well, they walked in the same circles.

“I guess,” she managed, then turned to find Adora in front of her. The blonde had a smirk on her face and then turned to grin at Asami.

“Networking with the best consultant in the city, Sato? Trying to poach?”

“Well, if I did, it’d be Spinny and Netossa with the issue. Or do you need to disclose something?” Asami winked and Adora chuckled. She looked down at Catra and her face softened. Adora draped an arm over Catra’s shoulder and the brunette had to suppress the  _ purr  _ that tried to force its way out.

“Just that we’ve got a really good working relationship. And, y’know… she’s good for me. Makes me be…. A bit more circumspect.”

Catra actually guffawed, “Woa, big word there genius!”

“Duh, read it on one of your slides. Though I know you probably had to use google or something,” riposted Adora as she bumped Catra’s hip. The magicat snorted.

“Some of us are just naturally clever and aware of language?”

“Yeah? Ok, so that’s me covered, what about you?” Adora grinned wider and Catra rolled her eyes, letting her have the win (of course).

Korra stepped up next to Adora and passed a tumbler edged with orange slices, “Here you go! So, you and Adora huh? How’d you know her?” The question was innocent, jovial. But when Catra looked at  _ Korra’s _ blue eyes she got yet another sense of de ja vu. This girl was no fool. Her gaze was level, not quite as wry as Asami’s. There was a level of  _ study  _ there. Adora coughed.

“Through Netossa’s firm. We, y’know, connected,” and Catra had to suppress the sigh at Adora  _ protecting her _ again. Her tail coiled around Adora’s waist.

“Reconnected, ‘Dor. I’m the Highschool asshole,” she delivered, bluntly.

The reaction wasn’t quite what she expected. Korra straightened slightly, then looked at Asami and shrugged. The taller girl looked at her fiance and they did that strange couple communication  _ thing _ . She’d only seen Bow and Glimmer manage to pull it off; them and Netossa and Spinnerella. Then Korra looked back and her smile broke out, but it was a softer one now.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, Catra. Properly. This is… well, I’ll just say it’s above and beyond. Helping out a charity like this.”

The sheer level of sincerity in the girl’s voice was almost heartbreaking. She felt Asami’s hand on her shoulder and saw the taller woman nod in agreement. Adora squeezed her shoulder and rested her head atop Catra’s, “You’re doing good, babe.”

Catra felt overwhelmed. She’d expected penance. Graft. Mistrust. This felt so  _ easy _ . Well, not easy, she’d been nervous, anxious, terrified of letting Adora down again. So she just turned into Adora’s body and hugged her for a moment. She heard Korra chuckle gently and whisper something along the lines of  _ “So, before or after Opal and Bo, y’think?” _

Asami’s quiet shush was immediately followed by  _ “What, you counting out Mako and Wu?” _

_ “Please. They still need to work out that whole… Iroh deal. Guy decides he’s bi, gets two guys at once? MAKO?” _

_ “Shut up. You dated him.” _

_ “So did you.” _

_ “True. What were we thinking?” _

_ “Me, I just wanted to get you jealous to notice me.” _

_ “Seriously? Same.” _

Catra shook her head as Adora hugged her close, then pulled back, “Your friends are  _ weird _ as  _ fuck _ . Also, dorks.”   


“No argument here. You guys, let’s grab a booth then walk the room, ok?”

Catra glanced back as Asami and Korra gave mock salutes, then set to commandeering a booth. She sighed as Adora led her through the crowd, completely unselfconscious. And, for the first time in a  _ long _ while, she felt really  _ really _ content.

* * *

The rest of the night was pretty tame - gentle even. Adora had switched to water and they split briefly to go talk with others. Catra couldn’t help but keep Adora in her eyeline - she felt a  _ pull _ , something in her gut that meant she  _ wanted _ to keep staring at the beautiful blonde. 

She spent a little time with Teela who just seemed  _ relieved _ that Adora and Catra weren’t trying to hide anything. Amaya was practically leering, but Janai (Who had arrived at some point) tsked and prodded the deaf woman who adopted a more sheepish expression. They bantered back and forth briefly, before Catra was hauled away by an excitable Opal to answer  _ gossip _ .

And mainly to clarify points for the purpose of the betting pool. She managed to extricate herself without too much fuss, but Opal was  _ clearly _ cleaning up.

She spent most of the evening just getting to know  _ everyone _ . Even Frederick, who was relatively amiable outside of the office; he even appeared somewhat intrigued by Adora’s sudden about-face. Catra knew that this was trademark-Adora - all in. For everyone else, they were clearly undergoing some sort of culture shock. Hopefully this would actually soften the critique on Monday - if Adora could change, then so could they.

After a few hours, Catra felt gently buzzed. Since that night in the club she’d been cautious about imbibing  _ too _ much. And she only took drinks from people she knew and had a decent view of when they went to the bar.

Close to ten she and Adora bade their farewells and extricated themselves from the bar. Catra stared at her phone and whistled, “Look at me. I go to a bar and get all these  _ numbers _ ,” she eyed Adora, “I’ve got game.”

“You’ve got a wingwoman, you mean,” snorted Adora. Her gaze latched onto Catra, “You gonna call them? Go home with them?”

The words were said in jest but Catra felt that sudden sense of vulnerability under them. It warmed her, reassured her. She reached out and gripped Adora’s shirt, “No, dummy. But wow, networking with  _ Asami  _ freakin’ _ Sato _ .”

“Easy, Catra. Korra’d break you if you tried it on.”

“And what a way to go…” Catra mused then winked at Adora, “Lucky I have a very specific type, though.”

Adora eyed her, “Uh huh?”

“Yeah. Need to be taller than me.”   


“Go on.”

“Blonde, blue eyes. So Korra’s down one there, too.”

“Yeah, far too short for you.”

“Asami, well, she’s got the height but… I mean I  _ could _ deal with the hair.”

That got a twitch from Adora, her voice an attempt at nonchalant, “Hmm. Well, you could always try your luck. I guess.”

“Ah, well, see… her name does start with an A. Buuut it’s missing something.”

“Oh?” And that  _ voice.  _ Adora could switch to a throaty register so _quick_ it was scary . Catra smiled lazily and yanked Adora down.

“Yes,  _ dummy _ . You.”

Inevitability. That’s what it was. Best of intentions and all that - but, really, they’d known it was going to be an uphill battle. Their lips met and they both sighed at the same time, moving slowly against one another. Catra’s tail coiled around Adora’s leg, while the blonde threaded a hand into Catra’s hair and scratched at the base of her ears.

It was a good job that Adora’s other arm was around her waist, or Catra would’ve probably done a good impression of a marionette with its strings cut. They broke apart and their eyes met.

“Mine’s closer,” managed Catra, breathily. Adora quirked an eyebrow.

“Is it?”

“No clue, but I need you.”

“What about propriety?” teased Adora, again.

“Fuck it.”

Adora growled, “I’d rather fuck you.”

“I don’t see an Uber, Adora. Time’s wasting.”

She half expected the blonde to jack a car there and then, even with a few drinks in her. She had, after all, pretty much WWE’d a whole gamut of men and made a door her bitch. All for a confused, worried cat-girl. Catra realised she  _ could _ use this power for evil if she wanted, take over a small island nation maybe. But, honestly, she was far more interested in ensuring that Adora got them back to her apartment  _ fast _ .

Twenty minutes later they were stumbling through her door, which clacked shut behind them. Catra broke away briefly to lock it, then turned and squeaked as Adora hoisted her up, hands under her thighs. Catra wrapped her legs around Adora’s waist and her head flopped against the door as Adora latched onto her neck.

“Y...you’re gonna leave a mark…” murmured Catra. Adora paused and gently kissed the spot, but Catra gripped the back of the blonde’s head, “I didn’t say  _ stop _ .”

Her words petered out as Adora bit down again, then hummed as she felt the blonde lick at the bruise and plant a gentle kiss against her skin. Adora moved, then and carried Catra through the dark apartment. She stumbled briefly against a pile of Catra’s shoes but just giggled and stayed steady as Catra clung to her. The magicat peppered kisses across Adora’s face and ran her fingers through Adora’s long blonde hair. A purr rumbled freely from her and Adora pulled away briefly to smile softly.

“Hey, girlfriend.”

Catra stared at her and swallowed, “Yeah?”

Adora nodded, “Think we can just, y'know... assume? What's a few days…”

Catra smirked, “Babe, we’ve got all weekend.”

Adora kicked open the bedroom door, which made Catra squeak, then strode inside, “Then I definitely need to make sure you’re good and relaxed before Monday…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! LOOK WHO SHOWED UP!
> 
> New best friends ;)
> 
> I was gonna do some... SPICE.
> 
> But.
> 
> I'm gonna stick that into the next chapter for all y'all (probably tomorrow...) as I wanted to leave you wanting a little more. It's a bit shorter and I MIGHT shift things around, as the spice could fit at the end here (But I'm kinda on the fence...)
> 
> Of course, add in the comments if you want to see what a few years pent up anticipation means for these two now.... also, feedback and thoughts in general are ALWAYS appreciated.


	22. The best of times, the sexy times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora have waited long enough.
> 
> The office was clearly not the right initial venue.
> 
> Some deadlines need to be skipped. Or brought ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! SMUT! CONTENT WARNING FOR SEX.
> 
> So, some minor discussions are had, a little bit of worry. BUT ALL IS WELL AND NO ANGST.
> 
> We'll get a weekend summary and then some more group plot next chapter ;)

Moments could be fleeting: a night out that led to a tumble; swaying to a beat within a club; that briefest of connections across a crowded room.

And some lasted a lifetime: that meeting of eyes could be more than a glance - it could be a conversation; that moment in the club when you _knew_ that your pulse beat in time with your partner; that night that became _more_.

Adora moved across the room with purpose, her grip on Catra’s thighs firm, but not tight. The brunette had her forehead pressed against Adora’s and her breath came in shallow gasps. Her blue and gold eyes never wavered from Adora’s. It was only three steps from door to bed yet the distance stretched, their gaze communication so much emotion. Yearning, fear, desperation, relief.

_Love_.

It shouldn’t have been possible. A connection mere weeks ago; a few coffee dates to reconnect; a ruined dinner; then working together?

Catra didn’t care about the _how_ . Or really the _what_ of it all - all she knew, right there and then, was that she was definitely done for. She’d wanted to reconnect with Adora, that was the honest truth. She’d wanted her friend back. Or at least to show her friend she’d changed. She’d made peace with the possibility that Adora _wouldn’t_ want to have anything to do with her; or rather she’d expected that to be the case and had gone through with it because she’d felt she _deserved_ the pain.

This? Right now? So much more than she’d ever expected. Even their little almost-trysts and the flirtations over the time since their reconnection and Adora’s angry “laying down the law” moment after her phone faux-pas had felt like a strange uncertainty. She’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop, in all honesty. Her life had been a series of poor consequences driven by her impulsiveness and she felt this latest impulse would have an equal backlash.

 _Except this wasn’t impulsive, you brat._ Her internal voice was strong and, for once, didn’t have the reverb of her mother’s sneer. It actually sounded like Adora - snarky, but warm, teasing, _You went out of your way to try to make sure this was all laid out. And now you’re about to get laid out… and laid._

Yep, definitely Adora’s voice. In her head. Being _Adora_. It was a welcome change and she wasn’t sure if it was the residual alcohol, her wildly rambling fantasies or the proximity of the love of her life…

_Love of her life_.

Well, they’d basically confessed. On a conference table. And a few times sort of in passing? During their argument? Before that too....

And then her train of thought married to reality as it supplied the helpful fact that she was _about to have sex with the love of her life_ . The woman who she’d nearly lost, driven away and who she _really_ didn’t feel she deserved.

Her eyes watered and she blinked, but Adora never broke her gaze. Catra felt the dip as Adora knelt on the bed, still holding Catra easily. For her part, Catra tightened her grip around Adora’s neck; her legs clung on and her tail coiled possessively around the blonde’s thigh. She wanted to bury her head in Adora’s neck, but couldn’t break eye contact.

“You're in your head again, Catra,” murmured Adora, “We don’t have to…”

Catra _growled_ and pulled Adora in for a kiss. She licked across Adora’s bottom lip, which drew a gasp from the blonde and made Adora’s lips part. Catra’s tongue slipped into the taller girl’s mouth and Adora responded in kind. Catra groaned and shuddered, then squeaked as the blonde almost fell on top of her, the growl in Adora’s throat sending a thrill through the smaller girl.

They broke their kiss and Catra blinked. Above her Adora stared down at her with an expression that was familiar - her focused face. The expression she wore when she was going to see something through _very_ thoroughly. Catra was both turned on and faintly terrified.

She wondered if the mattress was going to survive. Or her back.

Adora blinked and a slow smile crawled across her face - her half smirk but tinged with such tenderness that Catra couldn’t help the faint sob that hiccuped from her mouth. Adora trailed a hand up Catra’s side to cup her face, “Talk to me baby.”

The tone, the gentleness it contained made Catra’s breath catch and she stuttered for a moment, before she forced her eyes closed. It was interesting how her emotions had swung these past few weeks - confident, commanding and _with it_ at work, but now? Now she felt vulnerable and naked in a way she wasn’t sure about. A way that Adora made her feel; and had always made her feel if she was honest. She’d covered it in high school with brash jokes and a sarcastic demeanour. In life, away from the blonde, she’d gone with aggression and focused professionalism. But Adora was a force of nature. She stripped Catra bare, but also surrounded her with such… certainty. She’d never done anything, _anything_ , terrible with that ability to just see through the brunette girl.

Catra took a breath and managed, “You are here, right?”

“I’m here,” the pads of Adora's thumbs caressed Catra's face as she smiled gently at her.

“You’re… you don’t hate me?”

Lips ghosted across hers, “No.”

“You’re… going to be here in the morning?”

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

Catra swallowed and opened her eyes, “Why?”

She knew why. Because Adora _loved_ her. For some reason. Because Adora cared. But Adora _cared_ about a lot. Hell, that was half the problem with the charity! Catra, academically knew this. But she also wanted to hear Adora put some of this into words. Words not said in an office, or in the heat of an argument.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” came the chiding response. Adora trailed the back of her fingers across Catra’s cheek as she loomed over the girl, “I mean… I’m wound so tight. I’m hardly available emotionally… and you’re basically fixing my whole… saviour complex thing, right?”

Again that quirked grin, the arch of an eyebrow. But a faint hint of worry in there too. And that look of fear that mirrored Catra’s own tugged at her broken heart, salved the self-inflicted wounds. Catra raised her hands to cup Adora’s face, “You don’t need fixing. Just a new perspective. You get lost in your own head…”

“Pot, kettle,” shrugged Adora and leaned down, “So, why?”

“Because I missed you. Because I hated not talking to you. Because a day with you in it makes me feel… more happy than I’ve really _been_. And because I like watching you kick the crap outta assholes,” Catra couldn’t help the snark. It was practically hard-wired in.

Adora’s smile bloomed again, the fear gone, “Such a brat,” she moved to kiss Catra, then her hand gripped Catra’s chin and tilted her head up and to the side slightly so she could kiss at her pulse point. She nipped there gently and Catra shuddered again. Her tail lashed from side to side and her fingers threaded into Adora’s blonde hair. She keened faintly and her knees bent and straightened, her legs flopping about as Adora sucked and bit at her, before lathing her tongue across Catra’s neck. The short fur there bristled and her skin flushed under the attention of the blonde, the taller girl’s grip firm, yet gentle as she tilted Catra’s head the other way to continue her ministrations.

Her grip tightened in Adora’s hair and she couldn’t suppress the whimper. Adora sighed and shuffled up to press her temple against Catra’s and she whispered into the smaller girl’s ear, her voice thick with emotion.

“Years, Catra. I wanted this for _years_ ,” Catra choked a sob back and squeezed her eyes shut, but Adora’s touch was gentle, “I _missed you_. Like… I was missing a bit of me. And I want you to know… it wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

Catra clung to Adora, a physical totem in her turbulent release of emotions, all snark gone,“Adora…”

“And the things I would think about Catra. I mean… I felt awful because I didn’t think you wanted me. But… I couldn’t help it. I wanted you to be _mine_ . That was what drove me that day. It was… so selfish of me. Even if I didn’t tell you then, maybe there was some hope. And then… then I spent the last few years just craving you.” Catra’s legs moved and she wrapped them around Adora’s waist. She didn’t know if she wanted to cry or shout or kiss the blonde idiot. Ruining the mood or _what_ ? Well, she wasn’t _ruining_ it… “But…. you are mine. Aren’t you?” Adora nipped at Catra’s ear again. Her voice was firm but held a clear question, a tentative _out_ , should Catra need it. The brunette snickered and nuzzled at Adora’s cheek.

“Wow you are so _bad_ at this,” Adora pulled back and arched an eyebrow at Catra. The smaller girl tried for snark again, but her lips trembled, “P...pick a lane Adora. Are we… doing this or doing therapy? Because let's just be _clear_. I am yours. Always have been.”

But she smiled as she said it, the tears clear in her eyes. Adora tilted her head and returned the smile, “Why not both?” and then she sank down to capture Catra’s lips with her own. She pulled back and growled another word out, “Mine. For as long as you’ll have me.”

Catra whimpered again, her heart suddenly light. The shackles, the shadows of fear that _even until today_ had sat around it, evaporated. She knew, she KNEW Adora never hated her, not really. Had never resented her, beyond the grief of a friendship squandered. And that her darkest of desires, her most honest centre was not only seen but reciprocated.

They’d said the words. They’d fumbled. But here, now?

Adora loved her. Wanted her, body and soul. Was _pleading_ for her.

And Catra… Catra would scale any height to give her what she needed.

She stared into Adora’s eyes, her voice a breathy stutter, “Make me yours. Take me.”

That focused look came back across Adora’s face. Her eyes slightly narrowed, all uncertainty and nervousness gone. Her hands cupped Catra’s face and her thumbs traced across the brunettes cheeks. She pulled her up for a searing kiss and Catra moaned into it. Adora’s hands vanished and suddenly Catra was framed by a curtain of blonde hair. Adora’s hands returned and trailed down her neck, then to her shoulders. They slipped under her jacket and gripped. Then the blonde pulled up and Catra was forced into a sitting position, Adora in her lap. Before she could do anything, her jacket slid down her arms and pinned them in place. She gasped in surprise and Adora kissed her again, quickly, then pulled back.

“Seems we have a problem,” husked the blonde. Catra whimpered and tried to bite it back. Adora leaned in again, “You have far too much on.”

Catra blinked in surprise as Adora pushed her gently back down, then trailed a finger down Catra’s neck to hook into the collar of her blouse. With a smile, Adora began to flick the buttons open. With a hum of pleasure, the blonde pulled the top apart, revealing the black bra beneath. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Catra’s lips, then pulled away. Catra chased her briefly, then flushed at her neediness. Adora smiled, “Is this ok?”

“Adora if you don’t get a fuckin’ move ooooo-”

The snarky prod trailed off as Adora slid a hand under Catra’s bra to palm one perky breast. A gently tug of an already pebbled nipple disrupted the magicat’s brain for a brief moment and Adora grinned, “Guess it is!”

Those infernal hands slide behind Catra’s back and, in a complex move, had the jacket _off_ along with the blouse and bra. With a flourish, they went across the room. The brunette bit her lip and snorted, “Seriously?”

Adora grinned and gripped Catra’s hips, then pecks her lips with a swift kiss, “Never been seriouser.”

Catra giggled, actually giggled and trailed a hand to Adora’s cheek, “You are an idiot.” Her voice thrummed with thick emotion. Adora shrugged.

“Your idiot.”

“Mine,” Catra’s voice was suddenly faint, but had a definite undercurrent of glee, “Well, I better see what I bought, right?”

Adora smirked again and rolled her shoulders. The movement dragged Catra’s gaze across the blonde’s torso and she rested her hands on Adora’s thighs, where the girl was still straddling her. She leaned back to watch as Adora slipped her own jacket off and stuttered a breath as she then moved to unbutton her own top. Both followed Catra’s clothes somewhere off into the room.

The dim light played off Adora’s physique - Catra kept in shape, or at least approaching it. Coffee and stress kept the fat off; long walks and weekly runs kept her mostly toned. But Adora was a _statue_ by comparison: defined, etched. Nothing that was bulging or out of proportion - the words _toned_ and _solid_ and _feminine_ warred with one another. Flat stomach with perceptible abs; biceps and forearms that looked like they could pin her with ease (And oh by the gods did she want them to pin her). And her breasts, still imprisoned within a white bra, firm and slightly more than a handful. Catra reached up, her hands trailing acrossAdora’s forearms and up her biceps reverently. They traced down the blonde’s collarbones as Catra flexed her own core to sit up halfway.

Adora’s breath shuddered out at the touch and she reached up to clasp Catra’s hands, which she then pressed to her breasts. The brunette smirked, “This needs to go.”

“Go on then,” challenged Adora.

Catra sat up fully and slid her arms around the blonde’s back. A flick and the item came loose. Catra’s eyes never left Adora’s as she dragged the item slowly down the taller girl’s arms. Then it too was discarded, Adora’s breasts free for Catra to take in. She drank in the sight of them, their teardrop shape showing they were bigger than she’d expected. Catra traced her claws across their surface, then cupped them gently. She gave a faint squeeze and grinned and the groan from Adora’s throat. Her thumbs swiped across the girl’s nipples and Catra was rewarded as the nubs hardened and the areola flushed with goosebumps.

Adora’s head tilted back with a sigh and Catra lunged forwards to suck against Adora’s neck, retaliation for her own treatment. She felt strong hands thread into her hair and hold her in place. She lathed her tongue over warm skin and purred against her _girlfriend_.

Then those hands trailed down and slid into the back of her pants. Adora squeezed and Catra’s purr intensified. Her tail lashed again as she nipped and sucked at Adora’s neck. Then the blonde’s hands came back up and pushed Catra back down against the bed. They trailed down Catra’s front and Adora descended, her mouth enveloping one of Catra’s dusky nipples. The smaller girl yipped in surprise then gasped as Adora’s tongue played across the sensitive nub. Teeth grazed over it and applied gentle pressure. Then Adora released Catra’s breast with a wet pop and kissed her way across the girl’s chest to worship once more. The brunette groaned and ran her hands across Adora’s back and through her long hair.

One hand tweaked at a wet breast, thumb and forefinger gently rolling and tweaking the nipple. The other hand fumbled at Catra’s pants and the magicat chuckled, “Having trouble?”

She gasped as Adora’s mouth came free from her breast, then sighed as the girl, placed a kiss against the underside. Blue eyes looked up at her, “Please bear with us, we are experiencing technical difficulties.”

“Ugh such a _goof_ …” And then Catra grinned as her pants were suddenly yanked down. She raised her rear and hummed with anticipation as the pants went the way of the other clothes. A contented hum came from her as Adora trailed kisses down her stomach. She arched a little as the blonde kissed her hip bone, then kissed down to her thighs. Catra gasped as the blonde nipped her inner thigh and then lost her breath as Adora’s breath ghosted across her soaked underwear. She hadn’t quite realised _how_ wet she was until warm air brushed over her. She twitched as Adora traced her fingers down the inside of both thighs. Blue eyes looked up at her and a single eyebrow arched.

“For me?” came Adora’s voice, hungry with need. Catra swallowed thickly and ran a hand through her hair, while the other gripped the sheets in anticipation.

“All... all for you. Always.”

Adora planted kisses up Catra’s thighs, then dragged the full flat of her tongue across the shorter girl’s underwear. The sensation sent a shudder through Catra’s body and her head fell back on the pillow. She groaned, then gasped as fingers threaded through the waistband of her panties and she felt them pulled down her legs. Air met her naked sex and Catra suddenly felt exposed, shy, which made her press her thighs together. Or rather she tried. Hands gripped them and Catra swallowed as she felt Adora lift them and settle them over her shoulders. The heels of Catra’s feet pushed against Adora’s strong back and she heard a faint laugh from the girl between her legs.

“None of that. Unless you _want_ me to st…”

“Don’t...fucking… dare.”

And then Adora went to work. Catra whined happily as she felt Adora’s grip on her thighs tighten; felt the girl tracing patterns up and down the outside of her sex, teasing and playing; felt the fingers on her thighs tighten. One of Catra’s hands flopped to the bed and she fisted the sheets as she keened while her body built slowly.

Adora hummed happily and the vibrations sent another jolt through Catra - small, but one of a thousand dizzying little sensations. The fact she had _Adora_ between her legs; that she was naked; the air that felt cool against her; the sweat that beaded across her body and the pressure of the blonde’s grip.

A grip that slipped away from one thigh and then was replaced with a pressure against her centre. Catra arched slightly and her voice was a purr of _“Yesss,”_ as Adora sunk a finger inside her. Then she felt the finger curl and drag, the motion repeating and repeating and Catra bit her lip. Her grip on Adora’s hair tightened and she felt the girl chuckle as she lapped and kissed at Catra’s sex.

A pause as Adora broke away to look at. Her eyes were intense, but questioning, a faint arch of an eyebrow that quirked as she spoke, “More?”

“Uh huh.”

“Words, baby.”

“More, now… please.”

Then the sense of _fullness_ as a second digit joined the first and Adora’s tongue came back. Catra sighed in contentment and crossed her ankles on Adora’s back, then luxuriated in the feeling. Her hips jerked and thrust as Adora played her like a goddamn instrument, drawing out gasps and yelps with each stroke and nip. Then her fingers began to speed up, the sound lurid and _oh so good_.

Catra felt that sinful tongue slide up and focus on her clit - hard and barely touched. Adora had traced around it, breathed on it, but purposefully only teased at it.

The shift took her from slow buildup to sudden precipice and Catra’s hand on the sheets moved up. She groped at her own breasts to paw and pinch at them while Adora _destroyed_ her.

She peaked and then tumbled into a jerking release that made her yelp, then gasp out several squeaked grunts before she was gasping soundlessly. She curled into a half seated position, while her left hand tightened its grip in Adora’s hair and pulled her in close. She blinked and her mouth moved wordlessly, while her tail flipped and flopped, then coiled around Adora’s thrusting hand.

“Please.. Please.. Break.. Need…”

Adora actually _growled_ and lathed her tongue across Catra’s sex once more to drag out another spasm from the brunette. Her voice hitched and she made a most embarrassing mix between a squeak, a purr and a gurgle before she flopped back onto the bed. Adora pulled back and Catra had the sense of loss and faint relief as fingers withdrew. She felt the blonde place gentle kisses on her inner thighs, then felt those lips kiss slowly up her body. Each one elicited a pleasant shudder and Catra smiled lazily.

The tall girl moved carefully, alongside Catra, careful not to jostle or brush against her more sensitive areas. Blinking, Catra focused on Adora’s face. The blonde held her gaze then raised a hand. She spread two fingers, the web of Catra’s arousal between them. Then, slowly, she slid them into her mouth and licked them clean.

Catra swallowed then licked her lips. Adora leaned closer, “Round two?”

That made the smaller woman grin, “Not til I’ve made you tap out.”

“Bold,” grinned Adora, “Don’t think you’re in much of a state right now, maybe…”

“Get your cocky ass up here.”

Adora laughed, the sound light and relaxed. She flopped down next to Catra, head propped up on her hand. Her other traced lines across Catra’s chest, which made the girl’s breath hitch again, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself…”

Catra frowned, then looked down to see Adora still had pants on, “Ugh, no _fair_.”

“Sorry baby, I just couldn’t wait. I think I waited long enough,” there was no spite there, just an honest, kind smile. Catra reached up and pulled the blonde down for a soft kiss. She tasted herself on Adora’s tongue and hummed with pleasure. She smiled as Adora pulled back, then frowned as the blonde stood. Was she leaving?

“Where…” then her voice faded as Adora faced her alongside the bed and unbuttoned her pants. The blonde fixed her gaze on Catra and slowly shimmied the trousers down, revealing a lacy boy-shorts. Her legs were defined, thighs and calves showing nothing beyond _tone_. Adora grinned then pulled the band of the boyshorts and snapped them. Then she walked to the door. Catra whined and the blonde looked over her naked shoulder, hair cascading down her back.

A fucking goddess.No. DT was right.

_A valkyrie._

“Think you need to rehydrate, baby. And I need to pregame so you can make me tap out.”

Catra stared as Adora vanished through the door. She blinked, half expecting to jolt awake, alone. A moment later, the tall girl was back and Catra sucked in a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. Adora had a pair of glasses in hand, filled with water. That made Catra smirk.

“Such a girl scout.”

“Be prepared and all that. Especially when one is about to get _smashed_ ,” she delivered that last in a faintly snooty voice and Catra fell back giggling.

“You… are such a dork… way to ruin the mood,” she stretched, then sat up again as Adora proffered a glass. She took it, then drank in a series of slow gulps. Adora traced the rim of her glass and sipped, her eyes never leaving Catra. They seemed focused on Catra’s throat as the girl swallowed.

The glass finished, Catra set it to one side, then smirked at Adora. The smirk died as Adora pitched her glass up and drained most of it. She paused, then flexed her jaw and some of the water spilled down her chin to drip across her chest or run down the curve of her throat. Adora lowered the glass, then rolled the cold surface across her chest. Catra couldn’t tear her eyes away even if she wanted to.

The blonde moved the short distance to the bed and clambered atop it once more. She lifted the glass in her hand and clicked it onto the bedside table, eyes never leaving Catra’s. Then she prowled up the bed to straddle the brunette once more. Her smirk returned, “Awww… I’m all wet,” and before Catra could make a sarcastic comment, strong hands cupped her face, “What are you gonna do about it?”

For the briefest moment Catra’s mind blanked. Adora, reserved, austere Adora from High School was now this _being_ . Yeah, Adora had been forthright and forceful. But she’d blush at the mention of a _hug_ sometimes. Yeah, she could have bench pressed a member of the football team (A suggestion which, now she recalled, had made Adora retch… how she had _missed the signs_ Catra would forever wonder…) and had the ability to last for hours on the field…

_Last for hours_.

Catra swallowed. Oh she was gonna lose this. Her smile returned suddenly.

_What a way to go_.

“Get up her and find out,” she lay back down and made a _come hither_ motion of her fingers. She shimmed down the bed then tutted and Adora paused for a moment. The faintest frown crossed the blonde’s face and Catra reached down. She swallowed as she did so, then traced a finger across Adora’s hip bone, down the line of where her hip met inner thigh, then tapped on Adora’s mound. The blonde hunched slightly and gasped, her teeth visible as she bit her lip. Catra’s smile widened as she saw the flush around Adora’s neck. She trailed her finger across Adora’s boyshorts, “Loose ‘em or I get rid….”

She flexed her fingers and her claws extended. Adora gasped but stared down at Catra. The brunette arched an eyebrow and then shrugged. She hooked her claws into the waistband and then _tore_ it in one flick of her wrists.

The reaction was amazing to watch. Adora shuddered and her eyes fluttered closed. She sank forwards, her hands pressed against the headboard. Her golden hair cascaded down and she sighed happily. Catra tilted her head back as Adora was basically nearly straddling her chest now. She met blue eyes that were wide with wonder.

“You really want me…”

It was so awe-struck Catra felt her heart swell. She slid her hands around Adora’s waist and nodded mutely, before she managed to swallow. Her voice came out a husky, emotional rasp, “Let me show you how much.”

Her hands slid down to grasp Adora’s rear and she nudged the blonde girl up. Adora blinked and her grin turned sultry, then she began to knee walk up the bed until her thighs lay astride Catra’s face. Catra could make out blonde eyes, barely visible beyond the swell of Adora’s breasts, but her gaze was more focused on her real prize for the moment.

She drew in a deep breath and basked in Adora’s evident excitement: The salty musk of perspiration and the earthy and somewhat sweet aroma of her arousal. With a wicked grin, she sank her fingers into the meat of Adora’s ass and pulled her down. The whimper of the blonde above her was music to her ears.

Her tongue snaked out to meet Adora’s puffy lips and the taste made Catra moan. Her head jerked up and she latched her lips around Adora’s lips to suck and nip. Her grip tightened on Adora’s rear as she squeezed, then released. She kneaded at Adora’s fleshy then trailed her hands over the top of Adora’s thighs to pull the girl down harder onto her face. Above her, Adora tightened her grip on the headboard and tried to angle her hips to grind down against Catra’s face.

The brunette chuckled, then probed Adora’s depths with her tongue. The girl made a sudden yelp and shifted her hips, but Catra held her firm. She flicked her tongue up and down, either side of Adora’s opening, then trailed up to flick against the blonde’s clit. She sucked against the stiffening nub as she trailed on hand up to grope a heavy breast. She squeezed and pinched Adora’s nipple, her mind realising that Adora liked a little more intensity. Wallflower this girl was most certainly not.

She squeezed and licked and twisted, drawing gasps and grunts of pleasure from the taller woman. Then she slid her hand around Adora’s back. She threaded it through Adora’s hair until she had a good amount wrapped around her fist. Her other hand relinquished it’s grip on the blonde’s thigh and slid between the girl’s legs. She stroked fingertips between Adora’s lower lips and pulled her mouth away briefly. Adora tried to sink down, to chase the sudden loss of sensation, but paused as that forced the fingers just into her entrance. With a smile, Catra pushed _up_ with her fingers and pulled _down_ with the other hand that gripped Adora’s hair.

The blonde wailed as her head was pulled back and clung to the headboard. Her back arched, whilst the was pinned between the hair and the upward thrusting fingers. Catra pounded up as best as she could, given the angle, then curled her fingers. Adora grunted in a rhythm, which grew into a single escalating groan. As Adora became to twitch and her thighs spasmed, Catra lunged up and took the girl’s clit between her lips and sucked. Her tongue flicked at the nub as she continued to pound her fingers into Adora, twisting her wrist as she did so.

Adora swayed and twitched, torn between grinding down and trying to pull away. Heer groan shifted into a gasped series of words, “I’m coming, oh fuck, I’m coming, Catra, baby, oh fuck fuck fuck.”

Catra kept going and Adora’s words slurred, her movements losing rhythm as she spasmed through another slightly less intense orgasm. And still Catra kept going. Adora’s grip on the headboard slipped and she slumped against it, her forehead on the wall as Catra released her grip on Adora’s hair. The blonde slapped at the headboard with one hand and pushed a fist against the wall, her words becoming a wail. She tried to move her legs, but Catra’s free hand clamped against Adora’s thigh to hold her in place.

“Please… please, I… oh stars, p...pl...p…” below her, Catra chuckled and made a playful tapping motion against Adora’s thigh, then hummed and licked once more. Adora rocked backwards with a curse and flailed with one hand, managing to tap repeatedly against Catra’s shoulders.

Catra slowed her ministrations, then exhaled and planted a kiss against Adora’s quivering core. She released her grip on Adora’s thighs and smiled with satisfaction as the blonde tried to stay upright. She watched as Adora’s stomach muscles twitched and rippled with aftershocks, then turned her head as Adora slowly slid down the bed. Catra rolled onto her side to face the blonde who had an unfocused look in her eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Adora’s hands came forwards, gripped her face, then dragged her in for a toe curling kiss. The blonde’s tongue snaked into Catra’s mouth to lick against her, Adora not at all put off by her own taste. Catra moaned as Adora pushed against her, their bodies naked and connected, skin to skin. They rolled and Catra found herself pinned under a hot, gently squirming mass of heat. She sighed contentedly as Adora pulled back.

“A break…. Then I need to even the score,” panted ADora. Catra managed a smirk, then lunged forwards to capture Adora’s mouth again.

\-----------------

Catra jolted awake in a mild panic, her mind producing tumbling images. Dreams? She was sweaty, she ached in places that hadn’t ached before. At least not _that_ way. And she was warm. So warm.

Coming down with something, perhaps?

Then an arm flopped against her and pulled her back down to the bed. She felt herself scooped and hauled, gently, into an embrace.

“Whastime?” came a bleary voice. And immediately, Catra relaxed. Her nerves soothed and the low-level fear that had been there completely vanished. _Not alone. She's here. She's really here. With me._

“Not a dream,” she knew she’d had this thought before - the first time Adora had stayed over. Admittedly, they’d been in an argument, so _this_ wakeup was far more satisfying.

“Whasdream?”

Catra turned under the blankets and gazed at the sleepy face in the dark. Adora’s eyes seemed to glow in the faint moonlight that pierced through the window. She was ethereal but oh so real.

Oh yes she was real. No dream could have driven Catra _that hard_ into the mattress. And when Adora had her on her knees, face planted in the pillows, legs spread as Adora's fingers worked her over, the blonde's breasts pushed into her back as she leaned over Catra’s shoulder to promise they’d get a _strap…._

Catra blinked, her train of thought clearly still all over from the sudden tear from pleasant dreams and remembered reality. She shrugged and shuffled closer, smiling as Adora pulled her in. She nestled over Adora’s chest and slid her leg across the taller girl. And arm coiled round to hold her in place, gently, and she nuzzled into the crook of Adora’s neck.

“‘S early baby. Sleep. Not going anywhere, never.” Adora’s voice was heavy with sleep, but warm with affection.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Catra purred, as she felt the weight of years finally fall away. She felt Adora’s grip on her shoulder tighten for a moment, then heard the blonde’s breathing fall into a regular rhythm. The slow rise and fall of the girl’s chest, her warmth, her promise… it all calmed Catra and she slid into a blissful, exhausted slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, chapter summarised if you don't want two girls having a tentative and silly first time. That then goes MAD. Good job they didn't do it in the office. People would've just taken one look at their workstations and NOPED the hell out.
> 
> So, girls talk, girls bang, girls cuddle.
> 
> They're basically married now, yer honour.
> 
> AS EVER - thoughts, feedback etc. I'm not practiced with smut, so any input *snerk* always appreciated. Continuity as well. So do flag if you spot anything weird - I've done my editing BUT never hurts to see what it does in the wild!


	23. Ambrosia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazy days are the best days

Catra awoke slowly, her drift to consciousness a lazy drift to awareness. Her senses slipped through one by one, each a gentle reassurance. She was warm and she had the sensation of  _ safety _ .

This was probably due to the pair of strong arms that encircled her waist and hugged her to the firm, warm body that was pressed against her back. Catra could feel hair under her face and guessed it wasn’t just her own. Her legs were slightly tucked up beneath her and Adora’s own were curled up as well, around the smaller brunette. Catra’s tail was coiled around one.

She was wrapped in a cocoon of Adora and she felt so secure. So loved.

The sensation hit in a sudden wave and Catra stuttered a sob as tears blurred her vision. She heard Adora groan behind her, then felt those arms suddenly tighten, “Catra?”

Adora’s voice was heavy with sleep, but laced with concern. Catra tried to speak but it came out as another sob. She managed a sniffled “Hey, Adora.”

There was movement and Adora’s arms adjusted, but did not relinquish their grip. Then the blonde was there, her face above Catra. The long locks were mussy and frizzy with sleep and Adora looked to be squinting as she pulled herself to full alertness, “What’s wrong? Are you… did you not want to… do you?”

Catra stared up at the blonde and managed a watery chuckle. “You’re such an idiot…” she managed to burble out. Then she twisted in Adora’s grip and reached up to yank the blonde down. Adora squeaked in surprise as Catra kissed her, then sighed happily as they moved together, bodies pressed in a tender embrace. Catra gently pushed Adora back to break the kiss and sniffled, “I’m just so fuckin’ happy.”

Adora’s expression was soft. She bit her lip to stifle an  _ awww _ and Catra tried for a scowl. It didn’t work and she just giggled instead. Adroa leaned back down and rested her forehead against Catra’s, “So, another overwhelm?” Catra nodded quickly and the blonde hummed, “I gotcha, babe. No rush today.”   


“What, no early morning crunches?”

“Got my cardio and ab workout last night,” Adora winked as she snuggled in closer. Their naked bodies pressed together and Catra tried to worm in even closer. Adora sighed happily and tangled their legs back together, “So, let’s just.. .stay like this a while. That ok?”

Catra had her face buried in the crook of Adora’s neck, so her words were a bit muffled, “S’good idea.”   


“I have been known to have them. Sometimes,” yawned Adora. She took a deep breath, then planted a kiss against Catra’s temple. The brunette’s ear flickered and Adora chuckled, “So cute.”

That made the smaller girl rear back up. Or at least she tried - Adora held her firmly in place, “Not  _ cute _ .”

“Unfortunately you are. We had an office poll and everything.”   


“ _ WHAT?!” _ Catra tried to wriggle free, but Adora laughed and kept a grip. Catra subsided and huffed.

“Kidding babe. That’d be a bit culturally insensitive. And I may be an ass, but you think my people would do that  _ or _ take me seriously if  _ I _ did that?”

Catra groaned, “Ugh, when did I let you get under my skin so easily…?”

“Think it was eight grade,” Adora adjusted herself and Catra sighed happily as they pressed back against one another. The blonde sighed, “I think that’s when it started.”

“What started?”

“Falling for you,” Adora peered down at Catra and saw the girl’s yellow eye peering back up at her, “Always was going to be you, Catra. Always. You or nothing.”

That drew out another watery sigh, “Sorry it took so long…”

Adora shrugged, “I… think it had to happen somehow. Me blundering. You taking the road you had to. I wish it hadn’t… hurt. But, y’know. Shit happens.”

They lapsed into silence and dozed gently, their breathing synced as the sun crept through the blinds. There seemed to be a consensus that  _ this _ was going to be the status quo for eternity. Right up until Catra groaned and managed to disentangle herself from the sleepy mass of limbs that was Adora, “Gotta… bathroom.”

“Nooooo,” whined Adora as she flailed for Catra. The brunette rolled out of the bed with a giggle and scrubbed at her face.

“Such a sap…”

Adora bundled the covers over herself, “You let the cold in.”

“Ouch… love is dead, clearly.”

“Just priorities, babe.”

“You’re already a freakishly tall hot water bottle made flesh… you don’t need  _ more _ heat.”

“You weren’t complaining last night.”   


“I was kinda a bit preoccupied. That thing you did with your…”

“Bathroom, or I’m dragging you back in here for round… um…”

“Eight, I think?”

“Yeah well, we got more numbers… shoo. Then come back.”

Catra snorted, then skipped off to the bathroom. A moment later she came back, a couple of glasses of water in hand. After placing them on the bedside tables she slipped back under the covers and grinned at Adora, “So. Round eight?”

* * *

They emerged close to lunchtime and basically just transitioned to the couch. The pair had gone for pajamas and tank tops, to really lean into the idea of a  _ relaxed _ weekend. Adora even planted her phone on the coffee table in front of the TV, powered off, and made a  _ there we go _ gesture to Catra. The brunette snorted and just strutted to the kitchen to get the coffee going.

She returned, coffee’s in hand, then slumped onto the couch with the blonde. She regarded the taller girl over the mug and smiled, “So.”

“So.”

“Girlfriends.”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

“Very cool.”

They stared at each other, then broke down into giggles. Catra managed a gasp, “So fuckin’ smooth Grayskull.”

“Psh, you started it. Anyway I’ll take you however I can.” Her endearing comment just got another fit of giggles from the cat girl. Adora huffed, but smiled, “Perv.”

“Yeah, like you can talk. I  _ felt _ what you were doing with your tongue.”

“You didn’t exactly complain.”

“Oh no, I wholeheartedly endorse it. More, please and thank you.”

“Duly noted.”

“I swear, you pull out a fuckin’ ring binder listing my kinks I will end you.”

“What a coincidence. That’s one of  _ my _ kinks,” grinned Adora. Catra leaned back against the arm of the couch and groaned, but grinned back at  _ her girlfriend _ .

It was real. It was happening!

It had HAPPENED!

She sighed, then stretched her legs out and planted them onto Aora’s lap. The blonde immediately started rubbing them and Catra practically flopped, just about managing to fumble her coffee cup onto the table, “So… today… plans?”

“Eh, slow start. No calls for me, I’m on Catra time. Unless you… have plans?” Adora quirked an eyebrow, but that uncertainty was back. Catra squirmed and smiled, then sighed as Adora hit a sensitive point on her foot.

“Oh that’s  _ good _ . Um… no, no… uh… plans. I do need to, y’know, tidy the presentation up.. But that can be tomorrow.”

Adora licked her lips and stared hard at Catra, “Ok. So… we can hang today?”

“I thought that was a given…?”

“No. No assumptions, babe. Use our words, remember?”

Catra huffed, “I thought we’d graduated to couple telepathy. Like, wow Adora, I feel sooo neglected,” she winked, then sighed again as Adora applied pressure in just the right place, “You’re  _ good _ at this. I kinda don’t wanna know how, cos then I have to hunt down the girl who taught you this and, y’know… fuckin’ murder her so she can’t steal you back.”

Adora chuckled, “Casual murder is not necessary. Bow taught me. Helps loosen up after exercise. And, y’know. Other stuff.”

“Huh. So that’s why Glim’s dating him.”

“Catra!”

“What? He’s cool! But, like, he has other talents too it seems. So, um… yeah. I was hoping we could hang today,” Catra glanced away and bit her lip, “And… tomorrow too?”

Adora paused in her ministrations and tilted her head to regard Catra, “Are you… asking me to spend the night, Catra?” she made her voice sound scandalised, “What  _ will _ your colleagues think?”

“Well, DT was probably running a pool. Spinny will nod. Netossa will probably high five me.”

The blonde laughed, “Fair. Alright…. Sounds good. BUT! We are gonna go for dinner. And I need to swing by my place for a change of clothes.”

“Why? My stuff looks good on you!”

“Catra, I can see my calves. And this tank top is a  _ crop top _ .”

“Again, not my fault you’re some freakishly huge  _ amazon _ .”

“Look, tiny…. Wait, was that a compliment?”

Catra glowered, “Uh, no. No it was not.”

“I think you like me,” smirked Adora.

“Whatever gave you  _ that _ impression?”

The blonde tapped her lips and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling, “Well,  _ maybe _ the way you said…”

“NO! No impressions of…  _ that _ . NOPE!” Catra flung herself forwards on the sofa and, in some combination of flailing and cat-like reflexes, she ended up in Adora’s lap. The blonde’s grin widened.

“Well hello.”

“You… are such a jock,” sighed Catra. She didn’t move however. Adora laughed, then nuzzled Catra’s nose.

“Ok… so, I’m hungry,” Catra grinned and arched an eyebrow, her tail lashing from side to side. Adora sighed, “Well… for  _ food _ .”

“What, I’m a  _ snack _ thank you very much…”

“Babe, you’re a three course meal that needs to be savoured. And if I start we ain’t  _ moving _ .”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Adora tried for a frown, but Catra just planted a finger on the blonde’s forehead and pushed back, “ _ Fine _ . Got some stuff in the fridge. BUT I am not moving until dinner.”

Catra smirked, but then yelped as Adora reached down to grab her thighs. Then the blonde stood and carried the brunette to the kitchen. The smaller girl giggled and clung to Adora as the blonde sat her on the counter. The Adora set about rooting through drawers and the fridge.

Half an hour later they had toast and scrambled egg, as well as a fresh round of coffee. The pair ate, then snuggled back on the sofa. Catra found a baking show and they relaxed, just basking in the peace of the moment. After a couple of hours Adora huffed and nudged Catra. The brunette looked up at her with an arched eyebrow.

“Whassup?”   


“Your… Monday thing. I mean, I got the gist from our talk yesterday. But can I… can I get a heads up?”

Catra studied the blonde and smiled softly, “You worried I’m gonna tear you down in front of your team?”

Adora chewed her lip and gave a half shrug, then looked back at the TV, “I trust you… but I don’t do well with uncertainty. I… I need to know as much as I can. I handled this because it’s  _ you _ . And I KNOW you. But you also know me. Much as I tried to say you didn’t, or that we’d changed, I think this…” she waved at the room around them, and then gestured between the two of them, “Shows we really kind of  _ do _ know each other.”

Catra shuffled so she had her legs across Adora’s and hugged her arms around the blonde’s neck, “And the last time you were… seriously vulnerable with me, I kinda…. Let you down.”

Adora shook her head, “Catra I… yeah that’s part of it. But I know you won’t do that. It’s a shadow emotion, y’know?”

“Logic and fear don’t mesh well. Look at me, prime case study right here. Mom did a number on me with that.” The blonde growled and Catra reached up to pull Adora’s chin around, “Less of that. I only want you growling for  _ good _ reasons,” she purred. Adora snorted and smiled, “Better. Now… not gonna lie, there  _ is _ some critique in there. But it’s evidenced. It’s constructive. And… we’re going to go through it tomorrow.”

“But…” Adora frowned, then huffed, “That’s… unfair. I guess? Giving me a heads up. I know I asked. But now I think it’s an unfair advantage?”

Catra shrugged, “When we deliver findings, every company does it differently. Sometimes it’s just to a CEO. Or an operations lead. And they decide how to distribute it. Sometimes its to a whole panel and  _ wow _ those meetings get  _ nasty _ . Even saw one where they took our findings, unfiltered, and briefed the whole  _ company _ . That was a whole committee of nothing-burgers. BUT! I think it’d help. We can talk about it - safe space. Give you time to digest it. The rest is mostly corporate. And all my… views… well, they just related to you and how you interact with everyone else. Which we kinda touched on, like you said.”

She smiled up at the blonde and Adora relaxed. She rocked her head from side to side, then settled back into the couch, “Fine. Yeah. Just… just tell me the stuff about  _ me _ though. I want to be with the team when you go over the whole firm.”

“Sure thing.”

They watched and dozed for a little longer, then Adora got up to head back to her place for her change of clothes and a shower. Catra offered the use of hers, but Adora made the valid point that she’d be just getting into her own clothes from the day before, so kind of pointless.

Catra had reiterated that Adora should  _ consider the benefits of a shower in Catra’s presence _ .

And Adora had just cupped her face, then pecked her on the lips, with a whispered  _ later _ . Then she’d vanished.

The apartment had felt suddenly empty and a little colder. Melog had emerged from some hiding spot to regard Catra. It was the first time she’d seen a  _ smirk _ on a cat’s face. Or at least a cat with the air of a smirk.

It had been weird to just wander the apartment. Catra had begun to worry, but then saw that Adora had left her phone. Not her personal phone but her  _ work _ phone. And she’d even left a note: 

_ Now you know I’m coming back _ .

Catra had slumped onto the sofa as she read the note and grinned. Trust Adora to know she needed some form of reassurance. Not heroics, just two idiots saving each other, one little gesture at a time.

After what had felt and age, yet could have only been an hour, Adora returned with an overnight bag and a flushed face. Catra stared at her, “Did… did you  _ run _ ?”

“Busses were taking too long. So, um… yeah?”

“Idiot,” sighed Catra fondly, “Ok,  _ now _ you definitely need a shower.”

Adora had been about to protest as she shut the front door behind her. But her protest died as Catra twirled about and peeled her tank top off her body and began to strut towards the shower. The blonde almost faceplanted as she tried to walk and yank off shoes and clothes at the same time.

They  _ just _ made it to dinner.

* * *

Catra decided on Sunday morning that waking up any other way sucked so hard it needed a new unit of measurement. There was something about being so closely tangled up with someone, so certain. Did other people feel like this? Was this just how it started? Would this fade?

She scoffed at that idea.

She was  _ never _ giving this up. Not for anything.

Their Saturday had been a strangely tentative and tender reintroduction to just  _ being _ around one another - with the added spice of intimacy. They’d managed it at work, but that had a veneer of  _ appropriate behaviour _ . This was a different level, one they’d been slowly broaching before Adora’s outburst and this strange dance at Adora’s office.

But it was so weird, so off the wall it just worked. And now it was like being by the bleachers in High School again - their humour in sync, their movements practically mirrors of one another.

Once more, Catra had to have a mild word with herself about how  _ oblivious _ she’d clearly been. And how she’d so nearly wrecked it.

Adora had stopped her going too dark a couple of times during Saturday - once in the shower as Catra had clung to the blonde in post coital bliss that threatened to spill into regret, when Adora had just pulled the brunette against her chest and washed Catra’s hair; then again at dinner in some quiet bistro where the dim-light and romantic intimacy had hit her with a  _ what if I’d never experienced this _ moment of panic. Adora’s firm grip on her hand and reassuring blue gaze had locked her in place there. And Catra had managed to avoid spiralling.

And now they lay, tangled closer than a discarded yarnball.

Once again, they rose leisurely, their movements full of casual touches, giggles and soft sighs. Catra pulled Adora back into the living room, both suitably dressed in yoga pants and t-shirts. They went about a routine so new yet so familiar as to feel practiced - coffee, toast, idle chatter.

And then Adora’s personal phone went off.

Catra watched as the blonde frowned and peered at the number, then answered. Adora’s face had shifted to surprise, then tight irritation, “Fred. Look, now… yes I  _ know _ … but….  _ No _ . Fed!”

Adora’s tone made Catra stand from the breakfast bar and stalk around the unit. She stood in front of the taller woman and quirked an eyebrow. She gestured to the phone and mouthed “ _ may I?” _ Adora stared at her, then her mouth quirked into something like a grin. She handed the phone over.

“HEY Freddie. Catra here.”

_ “Catra? Wh… are… why?” _

“Just consulting with Adora before the big presentation on what needs to be done tomorrow. Y’know, so there’s no surprises. Sorry, she was in the middle of something. What’s up?”

“ _ Oh, I just… well, she needs to get back to me on some things.” _

“Uh huh, Uh huh. And when is  _ your _ deadline?”   


“ _ Well, hardly your bus-” _

“Look, we’ve got our timetable, let’s work this, ok?”

_ “Oh, well… it’s um… well Wednesday, but I know with Monday and how busy Adora…” _

“Ok and when did you send these urgent updates?”

_ “...Yesterday.” _

“Cool. Cool. And you’ve had the docs and whatnot ready to go since…?”

_ “Well, not… I mean. They…. I had to get other things finalised first. And Adora normally…” _

“Thanks Fred. This can wait. Does she  _ need _ to sign off? I mean, what is it?”   


_ “Um. A project extension. And some.. .expenses..” _

_ “ _ You’re the finance guy. She’s already signed off on the project - I saw the docs in the system. And the approvals are your whole thing.”

“ _ It’s just a quick… look, she wasn’t answering the work phone and…” _

“And you just called her personal mobile on the weekend because you want her overhead, right?” Catra’s voice was chirpy, but had a slight edge to it, “Fred, look. It can wait until Monday, can’t it? Are you going to action anything if she replies  _ now _ ?”

“ _ Um… well..” _

“No, you’re going to wait until Monday, aren’t you? Or… or are you implying your role could be done by Adora?”

_ “What no! No! Not at all.. I’ll, um… I’ll catch her on Monday.” _

“Thanks Fred, have a great weekend!”

The line clicked off and Catra shot a worried glance at Adora. The blonde folded her arms, then smiled and relaxed, “Thanks Catra. I… I just seem to lock up. Even little things. They seem  _ reasonable _ ….”

“Yeah, Fred was… being a whittier. Honestly, I don’t think it’s malicious with him…” Catra shrugged, “Just… he’s clearly used to you being on call.”

Adora leaned back against the counter and sighed, “That’s what it feels like. Bet if we turn on my work phone it’s going to be voicemails and texts. And let’s not even  _ think _ about emails.”

Catra sighed and nodded, then reached out her hand. Adora took it and let herself be led to the couch once more. Catra sat her down, then plonked herself next to the taller girl, “May as well launch into my whole feedback thing. You ready, doofus?”

“Great cold open there babe.”   


“I try. Here, take your phone back. Why does it have a unicorn on it? Y’know what, don’t answer that…” she gestured to the work phone, still on the coffee table, “We aren’t turning it on… because you  _ will _ go straight back to it. It was a big step just… leaving it with me. And that’s great. Shows you aren’t a complete workaholic!”   


“Says the woman about to redo a whole powerpoint on a Sunday.”

“Yeah, well… I minimise when I do that shit. YOU do it all the time. So, let’s break this down, focusing on  _ you _ .”

Adora inhaled and nodded, “So… hit me.”

“Saviour complex, poor habits, a desire to be useful and a fear of rejection,” Catra held Adora’s gaze. The blonde blinked.

“...ouch.”

“Yeah, if you’d waited until tomorrow, I’d have pitched it in more professional terms like  _ strategic bottleneck _ and  _ interpersonal detachment due to overt concern for employee wellbeing _ .”

“Ok now I sound like a nutjob.”

Catra laughed, “Hardly. You care, Adora. You always  _ have _ . It’s endearing, if a little frustrating. In hindsight… that worry that you cared for everyone equally led to some of  _ my _ weirdness….”

Adora’s brow wrinkled, “Huh?”

“Like… I wasn’t special? And I’m NOT trying to guilt you, babe. That was MY insecurity, y’know? Mom’s whole toxic focus thing…. If someone wasn’t utterly in your face, they didn’t  _ care _ .”

“Oh… darling,” Adora bit her lip and reached out. Catra sighed and laced her fingers with Adora’s.

“No stalling. Anyway… my point is, you care. BUT your care is focused in a few cardinal directions: one, the charity. You want it to succeed. But that is because of point TWO - who it supports. You don’t want another  _ me _ … or another  _ you _ . That means every time the charity fails, it hits  _ you _ personally. And as we know from the old days of She Ra on the track, you take that shit  _ personally _ .”

Adora winced and her grip tightened on Catra’s hands, but she didn’t let go, “Ok… so… yeah I have focus…”   


“AH ah ah! Not DONE. Point THREE. You worry about your employees, buuuut that leads you to being overzealous. Taking the lead, making sure they’re ok… but it also leads to micromanagement as you try to teach them. Or work with them. You throw yourself in there and that’s a hard thing to measure up to.”

Adora hung her head, “Fuck… I’m… the problem?”

“NOPE!” Catra grinned as she barreled on, popping the p in the word. Adora jerked upright at the tone and frowned. Catra chuckled, “You’re focused BUT… you aren’t  _ happy _ doing it. That’s obvious. But your desire to avoid conflict with colleagues HAS led to a different feedback loop - on the basis you  _ have _ inspired people. So, y’know, people are intimidated by you. They’re impressed too. But they don’t feel they can measure up. They KNOW how important all this is - to you, to them. They don’t want to mess up. Soooo…”

Catra leaned forwards, as if expecting an answer. Adora’s brow furrowed further, “So?”

“SO! They want you to check their work - is it how  _ you’d _ do it? Now, that should be fine once or twice… except somewhere they forgot that not EVERYTHING needs to go by you. I checked everywhere and there’s NOTHING that says you asked for them to do that. It’s just become such a habit. You’re a constant feature, why wouldn’t they check in with you…”

Adora sagged back, but didn’t let go, “Workaholic…” she muttered.

“You  _ knew _ this, Adora. Otherwise you wouldn’t have asked me. You’re the face, the drive, the whole thing. BUT… you’re also the single point of failure… ok that came out wrong. If you go down, then the whole thing stumbles. And maybe that had to be the way when it was, like, three charities fighting each other - they needed that unifier, right?”

Catra was on a roll and Adora looked dazed, “Um, maybe?”

“Of course they did! But now, everyone’s so used to you just charging in… they just assume you sign off. It’s situation creep - assumptions, you basically helping out so much people assume it’s the  _ norm _ .”

“So… what next?”   


Catra shrugged, “Up to you. But… like I said… I don’t want you to choose between the charity and me....”   


Adora shook her head, “No choice. You. I need  _ you _ Catra.”

The brunette swallowed and her ears flattened in a bashful expression, “I…”

“Tell me what you  _ think _ I should do. I need.. Input, y’know?” Adora managed a wide-eyed smile. It looked a little manic, a little desperate. And Catra suddenly clocked it.

_ She needs to know it’s ok to let go a bit _ .

Catra squeezed Adora’s hands, “You don’t need to leave or change careers or anything drastic… but you do need to  _ make _ them all stand on their own two feet - step back, take a bit more of a figurehead role - a  _ leadership _ role. Let people make decisions, own those decisions.”

The blonde nodded slowly, her brow still a little furrowed, ”I don’t know if… if I can. I worry so much. If we get it wrong…”

“Then you learn, right?” Catra shrugged, “Hell, I had to. But if you fall over now, then how the hell does the charity go on? I mean… are you worried they might?” she prodded gently. Adora sighed and hunched.

“A little bit… I mean… this is me, Catra. It’s… it’s all I am.”

“Is it?” Catra’s voice was calm, gentle. She reached up to cup Adora’s cheek, “Because you’re a lot more than some… heroic saviour. You’re Adora. You’re the stubborn asshole who got away and  _ somehow _ still likes me. I’m proud of what you’re doing… but you are  _ more _ than what you do for other people.”

Adora swallowed thickly and pulled Catra into and embrace, “And you’re more than what you did. I hope you know that.”   


“A day at a time,” whispered Catra. “A day at a time.”

The blonde nodded against Catra’s temple, “Ok… Ok. So… so basically… I just need to, what? What’s the pattern change, or flow chart or whatever.”   


“Nothing drastic… just… push back on those requests. Like I said, not asking you to change or jump or whatever, y’know? Just… small changes, shifts. Wean them off relying on your for  _ every  _ decision. Make them see you less as some authoritarian decision maker and more as a colleague who can help but isn’t JUST there to help. And  _ trust _ your team more. Them doing their work  _ doesn’t _ lessen your impact.”   


“Hey, I don’t think that!”

“No, but you want to help. Want to mentor and all that. Let them do their thing, use their strengths. You were always good at unifying people. Hell look at how you got the crowds going at High School.”

“That was probably due to my whole…  _ physique _ . God the football team alone… eugh.” Adora shuddered at the memory of the leering jocks, then focused back on Catra witha faint smile.

“Wow, modesty is not in your wheelhouse, is it babe? ANYWAY… you need to push them a bit so they get their confidence back. Best of intentions, I know, love…. But I think you’ve coddled unintentionally and it’s led to you resenting them a little when, really… they genuinely think they need your approval on tiny things.”

Adora groaned and leaned back, breaking the embrace. She planted a forearm over her face, “This… is awful.”

“Eh, not really. You are a leader, y’know. Juuuust…. Needs a bit of tweaking. There’s feedback for  _ them _ as well. They rely on you, don’t push themselves; they’ve gotten comfortable, they haven’t actually, y;know, checked any of this stuff. A LOT of assumptions on their side and comfort just... delegating up.”

Adora nodded slowly, “Lot to think about.”

Catra shrugged, “I mean… I rambled a LOT there, y’know? You don;t want to let them down by not being helpful, but the irony is that…”

“By being too helpful, professional and intense… I keep a distance  _ anyway _ ,” chuckled Adora. “Yeah, I knew that.”   


That made Catra cackle, “God such a mess. My mess though.” They settled into one another on the couch. Adora huffed and rolled her shoulders. Catra rested her head on the blonde’s shoulder and winced, “Ok, that was… a lot. I just offloaded on you. Sorry, Adora…. I should’ve….”

“Catra. Be quiet,” hummed Adora. She reached around and tilted the girl’s face up, “If I wanted sugar coating, I’d have gone with someone else. I  _ need _ your frankness. Like, REALLY need it. So, now I know what I need to do.”

The brunette stared into those blue eyes and saw the moment Adora’s mind clicked into place. Just like the bar, the stairwell, over coffee: Adora had decided something. Things were going to change and trying to stop it would be like trying to turn an oil tanker by throwing paper aeroplanes at it.

“...don’t do anything rash.”

“Me?” Adora grinned, “Nah. I won’t… I’m going to just sit quietly and watch you bitch slap everyone with a powerpoint tomorrow. Thanks for sparing me…”

“Well, I had this amazing transition slide that…”

“NOPE BORED! MORE BAKING SHOW!”

“Asshole.”

“Brat.”

They nuzzled against one another and Catra sighed with relief. She’d known Adora would’ve listened but she had been worried the girl might have just locked out the feedback. But then again, Adora saw personal development as a  _ challenge _ . Lay out the issue, give her options and, well, she’d consider all the angles. Clearly that was going on in the blonde’s head at that very moment.

The morning would see what changes would impact. And knowing Adora they’d be set in stone before conversations even started. It might’ve been better to introduce the critiques to everyone at once, but Catra knew Adora needed time to consider, to adapt.

Adora’s lips pressed against Catra’s temple and the magicat hummed with pleasure. When the taller girl spoke, her voice was thick with emotion and a strange sound of relief, “Thank you Catra.”

The brunette looked up at her girlfriend, “For what? Just… y’know, doing my job…” she smiled faintly, “Not like I like you or anything…”

Adora blinked, her eyes wet with tears. She was smiling though, so they seemed to be tears of happiness at least, “Oh?”   


“Yeah…. Because I  _ love _ you, idiot. Of course i’m going to help. Wasn’t too… intense?”   


“Psh… hardly,” Adora sighed and squeezed Catra, “Just...hard to hear out loud. I guess I’ve known. So thank you for saying it  _ kindly _ .”

“We save each other, love. It’s what we do, I guess.”

“It’s what we do.”

And with that, they settled back on the couch, wrapped around one another, their breathing steady. There were worse ways to spend a Sunday afternoon. Catra harrumphed.

“Though next time, my consulting service comes with a fee.”

“My company isn’t compensation enough?”

Catra smiled up at the blonde, “Well, right now it’s lacking some perks I was promised…”

Adora’s gaze shifted from thoughtful to suddenly  _ very intense _ , “Well I hear feedback is very important in the corporate environment…. Let me give you some right now…”

As their laughter shifted to squeaks and excited giggles, Catra managed to get one thought through her head.

_ Definitely worse ways to spend a Sunday afternoon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short dose of sweetness for post smut enjoyment. A little bit of serious.
> 
> I may have leaned too heavily on their feedback session, but Adora needs to be pre-prepped a little!
> 
> Next chapter, BIG CHANGES :D and some final showdowns perhaps...
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, as always, and whether things flow, fit or feel right!


	24. The beginning of the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lazy morning
> 
> A busy day
> 
> A tumultuous shift

Monday’s sucked. That was the rule. The idea. The universal constant.

And yet, waking up wrapped in the arms of the person you thought you would never see again, never talk to again, never hear  _ laugh _ again? Well, that made it all the more bearable.

A pleasure to wake up, even.

In that moment (Well in several moments over the weekend) Catra knew this was what she wanted for the rest of her life. No do-overs, re-runs, phone-a-friends or whatever trashy TV quiz phrase seemed appropriate. She wanted Adora, like this, forever.

It was a gloriously selfish thought. Part of her mind rebelled, tried to shriek that she didn’t deserve it, that she was a toxic, irredeemable person.

The increase in pressure around her waist as Adora tightened her grip and snuggled closer chased those thoughts away. The gentle sigh of Adora’s breath into her hair soothed her nerves; made her ears twitch. The sound of Adora inhaling and the feel of her mouth as it curled into a smile against her head brought sunlight into the grey parts of Catra’s dented soul.

“This is something I will never get tired of,” murmured the blonde, sleepily.

Catra chuffed and part turned in Adora’s arms, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” sighed Adora, “I intend for this to be a thing for as long as you’ll have me.”

The brunette hummed and pretended to think about it, “Huh. I may need time to think about it.”

“K.” Adora smirked, then pulled back and flung the duvet off herself to get up. Catra squeaked in surprise, then launched herself at Adora. She tackled the blonde back onto the mattress and the taller girl went down, laughing, “Thought about it then?”

“Didn’t say you could  _ go _ ,” grumbled Catra.

“Smooth, babe. So smooth.”

“What happened to the sarcastic badass who takes no shit?” Teased the blonde. Catra prodded a clawed finger into Adora’s side and tickled, which reduced the taller girl into a giggling mess, “I YIELD I YIELD!”

“Who the fuck says yield?” huffed Cata as she propped herself up on her elbows, chin just above Adora’s abs. The blonde lay naked beneath her, those blue eyes staring back at Catra with open fondness as Adora made herself comfortable on a pillow. Catra blushed, suddenly aware of both the intimacy of their positioning but also the sheer  _ normalcy _ of it. There was no erotic charge, just easy comfort.

Ok, there was a definite erotic charge, especially as Adora’s smile slid into a knowing smirk. Catra’s buff girlfriend ( _ GIRLFRIEND  _ supplied her brain, most helpfully) chuckled, “I say yield. But I prefer it when you do…”

“AH! We don’t ha-”

But Adora hooked her legs and flipped Catra, who let out another yelp as Adora straddled her chest. The blonde loomed above and grinned, “You sure? And you didn’t answer me? Where’s that badass?”

Catra growled and gripped Adora’s thighs, “I didn’t want you to  _ go _ , idiot. I was gonna ask you to move in…” she froze at that and the pair stared at each other. Adora swallowed and Catra backpedalled, “I mean, well, stay over more, maybe have a toothbrush, as we like, explore this.”   


“Ok.”   


“And then we can think about regular movie nights or, I don’t know, walks and stuff outside work and…”

“Catra.”

“And, I want to cook us dinner, properly. And, well, waking up…” Catra was looking off to one side and her mouth froze Adora’s gentle fingers tilted her chin to bring their gazes back together. The blonde’s smile was broad, genuine.

“CATRA! My lease is up in three months. So. Ok. IF  _ you  _ still feel that way after dealing with… work. And me.”

Catra nodded, then smiled, “Ok”.

“Ok,” she smirked and shook her head, “We are such cliches… U-hauling after…. What? A few work dates?”

“Give or take a decade of baggage.”

Adora leaned down and nuzzled Catra’s nose, “What’s a good queer relationship without some unresolved tension?” She pecked Catra’s lips and straightened, then flexed, her eyes fixed on Catra’s.

They stared at each other, then Catra glanced down further and smiled deviously, “I need breakfast.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Adora nodded and made to move away, but Catra gripped her thighs. Adora, whose train of thought had been derailed, frowned down, then yelped as Catra scooted down lower, “Oh?  _ Ohhhhhhhh……” _

* * *

They were just about able to get out of bed before eight fifteen - their morning prep being a whirlwind of clothes, jostling in front of the bathroom mirror and slices of toast and jam passed across the kitchen island. Melog deigned to grace them with their presence and watched, unimpressed.

Up until Adora scooped the cat up and blew a raspberry into its belly. Catra was amazed Adora still had two functional eyes afterwards, but Melog practically wrapped themselves around Adora’s feet after that, purring like a tiny motor.

“You.. when did you become such a slut?” snorted Catra at the small cat. The tiny beast chirped back at her and flounced away.

“Clearly I just have the touch when it comes to felines,” smiled Adora over her coffee mug. Catra fixed her with a mock glower.

“I better be the only cat you’re touching…”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m very choosy when it comes to pu-”

“NOPE! We are not going there.”

Adora laughed and set the mug down, then arched an eyebrow, “So you’re saying you  _ didn’t _ like how I handled that Thunderan?”

“Princess, I was kinda out of it. But if you want to show off again I’m sure I can try to start another bar fight…”

“Please, no more near roofie experiences,” Adora looked stern for a moment, “I don’t want to get hit with a murder charge.”

Catra nodded thoughtfully, “Fair. Just stay close and keep an eye on my drinks,” she winked at Adora. It was easier to make light of the situation - they both knew it was a heavy thing. But, in a twisted way, it had helped catalyse a few things for them both. They sat in silence and just enjoyed one another’s company, then stood and collected their work accessories - blazer jackets and laptop bags.

The commute into Adora’s office was relaxed as they ran through the itinerary for the day. Catra felt nervous, but Adora’s hand, clasped tightly around hers, grounded her. It felt strange - she was about to go and eviscerate Adora’s business, her people. Well, not eviscerate, but definitely reality-check them.

And Adora was the one grounding her! She felt it should be the other way round. But when she leaned over as they took the bus towards the business district, she met Adora’s gaze and saw a focus there - a determination. Adora smiled and for the first time in the past few weeks, Catra could see the smile wasn’t cocky, or smug or layered with eye-lines of faint tension.

It was a smile of someone at peace, crinkled at the edges with love.

Her heart filled again and she thanked whatever gods were out there for giving her another chance with this terrifying, intimidating and beautiful woman.

“You’re staring, Catra.”

“Uhhh… I was… psh, no. Was not.”   


“Hmmm,” Adora’s smile went back to smug and Catra rolled her eyes, “Is it cos you like me?”

“I do not like you,” responded Catra archly. Then she leaned in and nipped at Adora’s jaw, “I fuckin’ love you, idiot.” They settled into quiet silence, but a new thought entered unbidden into Catra’s mind. She swallowed and bit her lip. Thanking her stars stirred another memory - past, and that potential future she so desperately wanted, “So. Um…. Mara?”

Adora tightened her grip on Catra’s hand and sighed, then turned to look at her. The blonde gave Catra her full attention, which was both reassuring and terrifying. Her expression betrayed nothing, “What about her?”

“Uh… does she… know? About me? About… this?” she winced and Adora’s expression shifted to a gentle smile.

“Yeah… yeah she knows we connected. Again. And, well, have you  _ tried _ to stop Micah and Angella talking about stuff?”

“Uh… no. Not recently, cos… y’know?”

Adora smiled at her, sympathetically, “Yeah, I know babe. Not exactly on speaking terms.”

“So, what… what does she think?”

“Not gonna lie… she wanted to slap you silly way back then. But… she saw all I was doing, she’s super supportive. And… well, she helped me after we found your name in the registry,” Adora’s expression darkened for a moment, then she shrugged, “It’s complicated. She was angry for a while but she doesn’t hold grudges. She’ll want to vet you, just to warn you. Make sure your intentions are pure.”

Catra scoffed, “Hardly.”

“True. We still need to break a whiteboard…” hummed Adora and Catra nearly swallowed her tongue. The blonde shot her a wicked grin, then stood, “Our stop. LEt’s get consulting done then we can worry about meeting the parents… I assume I don’t  _ have _ to get the approval from yours?”

That got an eye roll from Catra, “What, you don’t want to sit down for sunday tea and guilt with mommy dearest.”

“Ew. Never use that word again. And now you can NEVER use it in bed.”

“What? I would… never call you  _ mommy _ ,” Catra spluttered. A few other passengers looked at them with raised eyebrows. Adora paused at the front of the bus, turned and leaned into Catra’s face.

“You sure, baby?” and her look could have melted a freaking bank vault door.

Oh Catra was doomed.

And she had never been happier.

* * *

The office was busy, the phones already going and most of the personnel on site as the pair walked in. Adora surveyed the room, then pulled Catra close to plant a kiss on her cheek. Catra blinked in surprise as a few in the office shouted out cheers and wolf-whistled. Across the room, Bo raised both fists, thumbs up. Mako shook his head and smirked from his position next to a bank of monitors. Amaya glanced up after Gren prodded her shoulder and her grin could only be described as  _ shit-eating _ . Frederick arched an eyebrow but then offered a small smile of his own, before his gaze returned to the screen in front of him.

Catra shook her head, then headed to her temporary office. They wouldn’t be doing the presentation in here but she felt she needed a moment to regroup. Adora’s little gesture was both affirming and had also rocked her a tiny bit - which was strange, as they’d been affectionate in public and at the bar.

Perhaps it was because this was very definitely  _ work _ and she rarely let the two meet. Yeah, they’d flirted, had their moments, but that was a build up. She hadn’t broken a rule, or  _ fraternised _ or compromised. Even if everyone basically  _ knew. _

But now? Now she was basically screwing a client. And that threw up a LOAD of red flags. And those would probably get raised by the managers. Well, maybe - they’d all seemed really pleased on Friday - absolutely ecstatic, even.

She looked out of the glass walls, across the bull-pit that was Adora’s world and saw the blonde laughing with her managers. The expressions of open surprise and happiness on the faces of the staff around them made Catra relax.

The woman she loved was looking relaxed, happy, surrounded by people who clearly  _ cared _ . And she was able to reciprocate.

If this was Catra’s last gig as a consultant, well… she’d go out happy. Professional ethics be damned. And, well, she was doing this for  _ free _ ?

She saw Adora glance up and made a  _ carry on _ gesture back at her. Adora grinned widely and a few of the staff followed her gaze, then grinned at Catra as well. Their joy seemed to be directed at  _ her _ as well.

Which was a new experience.

Most consulting sites, the staff were either frustrated, or accepting. Some of them went along with the changes, a few even had positive feedback. But no one had looked happy at something she’d done.

And she  _ had _ made Adora happy. That had been the goal, but it felt so much better than any cost reduction strategies, optimisation plans or employee engagement programmes she’d every pulled together.

She pulled her gaze away and set to ensuring her presentation was up to snuff. After a few minutes, she headed out for the more secluded meeting rooms that were owned by the central building - these were more enclosed conference spaces, with more room and better presentation options. She sat down and set up with the various cables that’d hook her machine up to the large monitor on one wall.

The room had a very egalitarian setup - the desk was a big, circular affair. No “head” to speak of, save the position nearest the various cables and HDMI guff that allowed for a presenter to connect.

She took a deep breath and settled herself. She’d done this dozens of times - presented to an audience - people she’d worked with for days, sometimes weeks, as she grew to learn their ways and approaches. This was nothing new.

Except it was - there was compromise here; risk. And that niggling fear that, despite Adora’s reassurance, this could carve a rift.

Her worries stuttered to a halt as the conference room door opened and Adora stepped in. The tall blonde held the door and ushered the department heads in. The group found their seats and then looked expectantly between Adora and Catra. The blonde slid into a chair next to Catra, but which still left a space between them, the monitor on the wall flanked by the pair of them. She looked at the brunette and arched an eyebrow and Catra nodded.

They had discussed this and felt it was probably best to address the elephant in the room with this group first, to ensure they didn’t listen to the presentation with a jaded or suspicious eye: the fact that they all seemed supportive was one thing; whether they could believe that this was impartial was another thing. Adora folded her hands in front of her and smiled.

“First off, thanks everyone for making time for this. I know Monday’s are mad as we pick up the excess from weekends - kids dealing with emancipation issues, home lives where they’re stuck at home… or recovering from school trauma. So, I appreciate you all stepping away and letting your teams do their thing…” she glanced at Catra, then rolled her shoulders, “Which… is a relevant statement. For me. As this presentation will likely attest to. There are things in here that will be uncomfortable, will make us  _ all _ question our decisions and thought processes. It’s why I allowed Catra to do this… initially under sufferance.”   


Catra smiled at that, but kept her gaze on the laptop. Frederick coughed and gestured to Catra, “Indeed. I understand that you believe things need change but… please, is your… relationship not an issue?”   


Adora nodded at the man curtly, “We’re dating. Probably going to move in together in three months.” The other department heads chuckled, albeit in something akin to surprise, and Frederick’s mouth moved in shock. Catra bit her lip to stop a nervous giggle, but shot Adora a  _ what the hell _ look. The blonde smirked and shrugged, “Ok, that’s the bombshell done, bandaid ripped off…. So, some  _ context _ . Catra and I go  _ way _ back. As some of you know and others have worked out… she’s why I am who I am. In  _ some _ ways….”

Adora inhaled and Catra leaned over and gripped her wrist for a moment, then nodded rapidly. She wasn’t sure she could go through this herself, reliving that moment she hurt Adora. But Adora met her gaze and steeled herself.

“Catra and I had a massive falling out at High School. A bad one. You know the story,” the eyes of everyone in the room slid to Catra, some in surprise, but mostly in recognition. Adora continued, “But, as you’ve heard me say so many times… people learn hate. It’s a culture thing. An environmental thing. I won’t speak for Catra, save to let you all know that I know how much she has changed and grown. But I will say this: her name was on the records for one of the facilities we know about.”

That drew a gasp and Catra kept her gaze down. She risked a glance up to see Bo looking frustrated. Mako seemed angry, but not  _ at _ her. Frederick looked faintly stricken and Amaya was grim faced. Teela just nodded, then smiled at Catra.

“How long did they have you in there?” asked the gentle girl.

Catra shrugged, “A day. I got out…. My mom sent me there after I…. after I had a moment in college.” She winced at that and looked at Adora. She almost expected jealousy there, or sadness. But Adora just smiled at her and nodded for her to continue, so Catra went on, “Basically, I was already feeling pretty much like the worst person on the planet. Had a lot of residual guilt over….” she waved at Adora and gave an uncomfortable shrug, “And… justifiably so. And then at college I realised, well damn… and then mom did that. After that, well… I just had to change, had to reinvent myself and try to deal with  _ everything _ .”

Frederick swallowed and frowned, “And… but… won’t this bias you?”

Catra shrugged, “How?”

“Not to be rude, but can you be impartial?”

Catra saw some people (Bo, notably) looked about ready to argue on her behalf. It touched her, despite having known these people for a  _ week _ . Adora knew how to surround herself with good people. Catra swallowed and held up a hand, “Fair comment. You’re good with those, Fred. SO, um, normally, yes? But companies that are doing huge cost cutting measures, it can be a risk - is someone’s job safe because they’re intimate with the consultant, that sort of thing? Completely valid and feel free to raise with my supervisors, if you think it’s relevant. However, I think you’ll see this is impartial. Not going to deny it was hard and that I am very much committed to Adora.”

That drew a few coos and  _ awwws _ from around the table and Adora blushed a deep red. Frederick pursed his lips and sighed, “Well, far be it from an old queen like me to get in the way of romance.”

“No, you’ve got a point…” smirked Catra, “But just because I love Adora… doesn’t mean I won’t kick her ass. She got the sanitised version over the weekend, but only about  _ her _ . The changes she needs to make. Because, and this goes for business and personal, you only grow and improve through  _ honest _ communication. Even uncomfortable conversations. Hence this full disclosure stuff. Ain’t it fun?”

She clicked her laptop keys and the screen came to life, showing the logo for her firm and the logo for the Light Hope Group in parallel. Amaya arched an eyebrow and nodded; Teela pursed her lips - her PR and communication mind was clearly already considering things. Mako leaned back and spoke, “Ok, so… talking. I sense that’s going to be a  _ theme _ then?”

“Wow, you really shoulda been a detective,” chuckled Catra, “Excellent. So, for the cessation of doubt, I did anticipate the potential for bias, so I have had all this data run through several analysts  _ and _ had my work reviewed by my bosses  _ and _ a colleague at my office - to ensure I wasn’t going too hard on you guys  _ or _ too soft,” a picture of DT flashed up, along with Spinnerella and Netossa, “Also, since this is going to the board, it really doesn’t look good on me if I screw this up. So, incentive for me to not show nepotism to be nice to my girlfriend’s weak ass ego.”

The group chuckled and Adora gave Catra a look that said  _ payback, later _ . Catra’s responding arch of an eyebrow was her way of saying,  _ promises promises. _

The deck wasn’t too long - the first few slides explained what Catra had been looking into - communication lines, process maps, hierarchies and all that. Her goal - to identify pinch points; areas of weakness; data errors; personnel problems; and so on.

“Basically, this is a very light touch review of the organisation. Just looking at immediate or  _ obvious _ potential issues. A longer deep dive would involve a month long review, process tracking, in depth interviews with  _ all _ staff and some major group exercises to see how you approach problems as a group. I’ve got these charts show red, amber and green on where you all sit in terms of technology, personnel, process and so on.”

More slides, showing that the majority was in the green - notably around processes relating to engagement  _ outside _ the charity - their “clients” in the case of kids and vulnerable individuals; their PR allies; their social media outreach.

Amber was their internal communications; their sidestepping of some processes; their more corner-cutting drivers to get things done.

And the one area marked in red - management communication. Adora looked at the group and grinned, “That’d be me.”

The others frowned, then looked at Catra who shrugged, “You guys too. This is the  _ honest communication _ bit, right here. Basically, all of you have fallen into bad habits. You run a tight ship, which is great, but it is reliant, far too reliant on a single thing - a guiding hand.” Catra gestured to Adora, “Which is the boss lady right here. The issues I’ve noted,” and here she flicked through to a stats slide, “Are actually mostly oriented around Adora. Or around  _ management _ overall.”

Bo leaned forwards, “But Adora’s great! She, like, solves all our issues! She saves the day, man!”

Mako opened his mouth, then stopped. It looked like a lightbulb had just gone on in his eyes, “Ohhhhh.” Amaya stared at the stats and nodded slowly. Teela bit her lip, then looked at Frederick. The older man looked uncomfortable, but nodded slowly.

Catra pressed a button, which highlighted the email stat, “85% of your emails CC Adora. Of those, 64% actively ask for her input. And 43% of those were sent on weekends,” she clicked again, “I managed to also pull phone records for the company phones… and also Adora’s  _ personal _ phone. In the past… two months, she has received 117 calls on  _ weekends _ across the teams. And that’s not her doing stints as a call operator. These are calls from  _ your _ cell phones.”

“Now, see here,” Frederick looked embarrassed, but Catra ploughed ahead.

“Questions at the end, please. Let’s finish and I can field clarification issues then. So, is this on you guys? Not entirely. Most of this is on  _ Adora _ not setting boundaries and not managing down. Or rather, she does, but she does so by  _ helping _ . And this, in turn has led to a mission creep of you guys letting her just… make all the major executive decisions. This means that, if Adora gets hit by a bus today, you may have a sudden shocking change period of inertia. She is a single point of  _ failure _ .”

Adora took a breath and gave a single curt nod, “Catra made this point to me already. The risk we face here is that you will, potentially, follow  _ my _ example and start to micromanage your  _ own _ teams slowly. This will have an impact.”

Catra nodded, “It will be meant well, but there is the risk that you will start to remove employee initiative, in search of the ‘perfect’ process, or approach. Overt analysis, dictatorial attitudes and an eventual aversion to any form of risk… which will impact employee culture. Your most driven people will feel trapped and likely resign and go elsewhere; or their work will slowly suffer, which will lead to an increase in negative management styles to compensate.”

Mako glowered, “We aren’t  _ like _ that, though.”

“Not now. But there’s a risk that, if you feel  _ scrutinised _ from the top, even unintentionally, that will translate down, because you want to make sure  _ your _ teams work is perfect, right? In the appendix, I have several case studies my firm has done with other charities and large conglomerates where we see this management style play out. Homogenisation of styles, risk aversion and a set attitude that emerges.”   


Amaya signed something and Adora tilted her head as Gren spoke up, “So, basically, we were doing what exactly?”

“You were avoiding decisions and were slowly slipping into a risk averse style. Adora signs off on damn near  _ everything _ . There is no policy in place that says she has to, but everyone  _ assumes _ she does. Did you know she isn’t even the  _ senior _ staff member in the organisation? Yeah, she runs things, but her official title is  _ office manager _ .”

Catra grinned - that had been hilarious to find, dredged from some old organisation chart. Basically, Adora had, through sheer force of will, made herself in charge. Technically, no one in this room actually reported to her. Except, if one looked back through the various sponsor emails from the board, the general assumption had been that, as Adora was basically  _ wrangling everything _ she may as well be in charge…

The group exchanged looks and shared confused expressions. Frederick blinked, “So… what does this mean?”

Catra shrugged, “That’s for you to all decide, really. I have several options listed; how to detach from the current style; how to improve your own processes and basically realign to how you  _ were _ doing things…”

Adora nodded as Catra left the question hanging, “But primarily, it also sits with  _ me _ . I have… allowed this to happen to a degree by basically being  _ too _ available. And… as such… I am going to be taking a few steps back from managing things. Whilst we do all need to discuss the structures and things going forwards I will be… setting some boundaries. And also  _ not _ answering emails or calls on weekends. Or after seven in the evening.”

The team stared at her and Bo laughed, “But, uh, we wouldn’t do…” he trailed off as Catra pinned him with her gaze and gestured at a spreadsheet now up on the screen. It showed a filtered list of phone calls and names. Currently it was filtered to Bo’s name and showed the number of calls  _ he _ had made. The man stared, nodded one and smiled stiffly as he sank back down in his chair, “We obviously need those boundaries…”

“But… we need sign off!” Frederick managed, “On projects and…”

“If the project is approved, then it’ll get sign off as part of your  _ normal _ process,” stated Catra, calmly, “And any budget changes don’t need to be actioned on a  _ weekend _ . Some of these issues comes from you guys  _ also _ finding things easier to delegate  _ up _ . For Adora to shoulder, because, on some level, it meant you didn’t have to be responsible for it. You are all more than capable, so re-stating the current existing processes is, like…. The most basic thing to do. Very little change needs to actually  _ happen _ , other than you guys taking the bull by the horns.”   


She glanced at Adora, who seemed strangely relaxed. The blonde smiled at her and leaned forwards, “There’s a few things Catra needs to show us. We can have a proper conversation at the end of this, but I have some points I need to make… the wider stuff, around management and how we move forward is open to discussion and, really, I  _ need _ you to all engage on it. This place is not just  _ my _ baby. It’s for ALL of us. It means something to everyone here. But, for now, lets just listen and go through our options.”

Amaya signed something rapidly and Gren followed up, “So, stepping back… is that all professionally motived, or does our feline friend here have something to do with it?”

Adora stared hard at the deaf woman, then grinned, “Very much so. Next question?”

The woman blinked then gave a double thumbs up and winked at Catra. The other managers relaxed, even Frederick, who just chuckled and shook his head. Catra felt her shoulders relax slightly, then segued in, “So, that’s some of the broader management topics. Let's look at time spent on tasks…”

The broader findings were pretty generic - a risk that the micro-management would spread; that email traffic would slowly start to choke the ability of teams to react; the potential for risk aversion as decisions shifted to management level only. Overall, there wasn’t much to really  _ change _ \- just an attitude shift and a process refocus. By the end there weren’t too many immediate questions as Catra wrapped up. Frederick had a few on approving processes, and she directed him to the company policy document that was  _ already written _ . The others looked faintly embarrassed about that. She fielded a few other questions until Teela asked the pertinent one.

“So… what next?”

Catra folded her hands and shrugged, “You’ve got the data. I have some recommendations, but they’re kinda broad. Basically, delegation and re-ownership of management responsibility; formalise review timetables so it’s not just ad hoc calls;  _ live _ the message you guys are preaching… ‘cos this can’t be good for anyone’s mental health, not sticking to a structure.”

The heads around the table nodded and Adora piped up, “Not expecting changes  _ now _ . And I am not going to tell you what we’re doing. This has to be a  _ management _ decision, between all of us. However, I am setting boundaries on  _ my _ time.”

Mako nodded slowly, “I mean, I get it. Iroh tells me to rein it in at home, y’know? And the guy’s military! Wu wants me to cut loose more… but we get a balance. Like our cooking rota…” the others looked at him, clearly intrigued, “What? We have a rota! That’s normal!”

Amaya signed and Gren flushed slightly, “Um,... uh, I ahem.. I don’t think that’s all you rota.”

Mako met the deaf woman’s gaze and then chuckled, “Nah… that’s on a first come first serve buffet basis.”

The woman went wide eyed and flushed as Mako leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. His face was a picture of smug satisfaction. Frederick laughed and nodded, seemingly relaxed now he knew that there was an actual game-plan. Teela chuckled and nudged Amaya, “You gotta learn to take it as well as dish it out Amaya.”

Mako smirked, “Exactly. I know exactly how to give and take, y’know.”

“BRO!” gasped Bo, “There are  _ ladies _ present.”   


“And? Look, we’ve seen the miracle of Adora actually. Y’know, smiling.”

“Rude,” snorted Adora.

“Accurate,” chirped Teela with a wince, “Adam is going to gush so hard…”

Catra winced at that, “Yeah… still haven’t met your… brother?”

“Psh. Hardly a fanfare. Think male me. But without the angst?”

The cat girl went wide eyed, “Oh dear god he’s gonna be so  _ positive _ isn’t he?” and Teela smiled widely in response.

“Oh you have NO idea,” she giggled.

The meeting seemed truly at an ened as casual conversation slid in. The team leads still seemed a bit overwhelmed every time Adora chipped in with a quip. Bo was the first to comment.

“Ma’am, sorry this sounds weird… but it’s going to take a bit to get used to…”   


Adora stared at him, “...Ma’am?”

“Uh,”

“Do I look about ready to put my hear in a bun?”

“Babe, you already have the poof thing,” Catra managed with a faint mock wince.

“Oh… oh that… ouch. Betrayal!”

Amaya signed and Gren bit his lip in a grin, “The pretty one has a point.”

Adora swung and levelled a finger at the deaf girl, “Ah! Behave. Or I’ll… uh,...”

The group grinned and Mako chuckled, “Adora, you’ve lost the magic! You aren’t so intimidating now you’re loved up.”

The blonde stared at him, then sagged back, a dopey smile on her face, “Eh… I’ll take that compromise.”

They chatted for a while longer, mostly on minor ideas in a sort of semi-formal ‘breakout’ session - ideas, restructuring, reaffirmation of policies. Frederick seemed to get a bit more confidence as Adora reassured them that she wasn’t  _ leaving _ \- just that she needed to not be the ONLY one making decisions. And that her priorities now included more than just the charity. 

She hung back as the others filed out and Catra fired off copies of the presentation to them; they had a follow up, more generalised presentation for the wider charity, as well as one for the board. Ultimately, after those were deployed, then this group would decide on their roadmap and whether that would involve Catra’s colleagues. Any process changes, or support structures to facilitate the management culture shift would probably  _ not _ involve Catra, except from an advisory perspective.

Again: Bias.

Catra leaned back and exhaled, then squeaked in surprise as Adora  _ straddled _ her on the chair. The blonde draped her arms over Catra’s shoulders and tilted her head to one side, “Well done.”   


“Well done? I… I guess,” she exhaled and chuckled, “Wasn’t… um… I wasn’t expecting, y’know… you to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Step back? I mean, I…”

Adora leaned forwards and smirked, “You hoped, right?”

Catra stared back and nodded slowly, “Bit… selfish, I know.”

The blonde leaned in and fixed the brunettes gaze with her own, “That you wanted me to look after myself?”

“Well, um… I…”

“Babe, I’m gonna be real with you, ok?” Adora’s face was so serious, Catra couldn’t help but snort. The blonde frowned and dragged one hand back across Catra’s shoulder to cup the brunette’s chin. Catra’s smirk froze and she swallowed. Her mouth parted slightly as Adora’s smile became a half smirk. But her eyes held a sotness; something tender, “I… have tendency to go all in, y;know?”

Catra managed a small nod, then a whispered, “Kinda noticed… She  _ raaaaa. _ ”

“Ha. Ha. Now, hush babe,” she squeezed her fingers gently and Catra’s throat flexed. Adora leaned forward and gently kissed Catra’s nose, then pulled back. She took a breath and nodded, “I just made a choice, Catra. And I choose you. And I will, every time. This… I don’t think I’d have switched off if you hadn’t pushed this.”   


Catra bit her lip and glanced away, “And… it’s good but I feel a bit bad, like… like this isn’t  _ your  _ choice?”

“What, because it involves you? Like, I should make every decision in a vacuum?” Adora’s voice was serious, but not harsh. She smiled at Catra and shrugged, “Yeah, you gave me some damn good  _ incentive _ . But… yeah, I’ve given this a LOT of thought.”   


“We, like, talked about it… yesterday!” Catra scoffed. Adora arched an eyebrow.

“Catra. I may be blonde but I am not an  _ idiot _ .”

“Beg to differ….”

“Brat.”

“Dummy…”

Adora pursed her lips, “Hmmm.  _ anyway _ . I run a… well I am PART of a major, successful charity that influences cultural change, babe. That does take  _ some _ insight.”

“Adora… you run this place. Just accept it,” Catra tried to keep her face straight, but she couldn’t suppress the grin that spread over her face as Adora preened a little, even as the blonde’s natural instinct to  _ share _ fought across her sculpted features.

“Yeah… yeah I do. It’s tricky to, y’know… acknowledge that. A lot of people do so much buuuuut,” she glanced at the now-blank monitor, “I guess I know… and I’ve  _ known _ I carried a LOT of stuff. It’s why I was so focused?” Catra nodded and Adora exhaled, then wigled in Catra’s lap. The cat-girl’s eyes widened and she bit her lip, but Adora just shot her a faintly innocent look, “SO sorry… anyway.. Yeah. This place was my choice, y’know? My… my goal. And, maybe it’s hyperfixation but I  _ needed _ something. We talked about this, a bit, remember?”

“Kinda? I was a bit strung out. You’d just dented a fire escape and I was a bit… overwhelmed?”

Adora chuckled, “Fair. So, yeah. I’ve known for a  _ while _ that I was, perhaps, a little bit too intense. But I couldn’t see any other way - I just poured EVERYTHING in here and…. um…. like I said earlier…. This is it. I didn’t have anything else I really  _ wanted _ . Wanted to do, wanted to focus on? This was worthy and is, still… but… but,” she drew a breath and swallowed. Catra reached up and cupped Adora’s face, her smile soft.

“What do you want Adora?” she teased, quietly, gently.

“ _ You _ . Like we said. We’ve joked about it. We spoke about long term, about trying and testing the waters. But… but I’m all in.”

“This is… rushing?”

“Babe, we’ve made love, we’re talking about moving in  _ already _ . Do  _ you _ have doubts?”

Catra closed her eyes and leaned into Adora’s hand, which had moved from her chin to cup her cheek in a mirror of Catra’s own gesture. She swallowed, “Only about myself.”

“What do  _ you _ doubt?” asked Adora gently.

“Letting you down… again. Not like, y’know, shouting you down. But… the phone thing. Or… or..”

Adora’s lips brushed over hers. A mere ghosting of a sensation, but enough to send a spark through Catra’s body. Her eyes fluttered open and Adora’s blue eyes filled her vision, “Enough of that. Like we said… we  _ save _ each other. Do you… long term?”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

“Good. So. Yeah. This is me… choosing that. I don’t want to prioritise some shitty spreadsheet over coffee with you. I don’t  _ want _ to walk away. And… and I  _ know _ I can do this job AND still find time with you."

Catra sighed and smiled. Those last, lingering shadows frittered away, like cobwebs in the breeze. Adora pushed her forehead against Catra’s then leaned in for a gentle kiss. They sat there for a few minutes, in quiet, content companionship. Then, with a sigh, Adora stepped up from Catra’s lap and pulled the brunette up.

The feline huffed, “Work, really?”

“Hey, you have to plan and pitch to your bosses. And get ready to meet Asami in a  _ formal _ setting. She won’t be as gentle as these guys.”

“Oooh… I like it rough,” purred Catra. Adora shot her a look and Catra smiled, “Just not from scary business ladies… present company excluded.”

“Good. You better  _ not _ . Not sure I’d cope with that….” Adora bit her lip and Catra couldn’t do anything but step forward to hug the blonde.

“Jealousy is cute, babe, but don’t worry. Asami’s nice… but you’re  _ mine _ . And I’m… I’m yours.”   


_ Finally _ , she thought to herself.

They walked back to the main office and parted: Adora to actually do her day job and Catra to start the process of briefing and prepping for the various broader staff briefs and board meetings. She’d been at it for an hour when she noticed a few of the people in the office beyond her little cocoon of privacy were gathering together. Teela looked to be marshaling a few of her team and shot a worried glance her way.

Catra frowned and made to stand, but her cellphone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw DT’s image. With a flick, she answered the call, “What’s up.”

_ “Are you currently in a private locale, kitten?” _

“I am, indeed in a  _ locale _ , asshole. What’s going on?”   


_ “We have a bit of a blip.” _

“The way you say that sounds like it’s more than just a  _ bit _ . Hit me, DT.”

_ “Won’t your Valkyrie get jelly? I kiiiid I kiiiiid. Um, so… have you checked the biz feeds today?” _

“Uh… no? Why….”

_ “Seems Prime is trying a new tactic against your girlfriend and her crusaders.” _

Catra feld the hairs on the back of her neck rise, “What… what’s he doing?”   


_ “Oh, he’s moved on from defence to… More aggressive stances. Namely a smear campaign… painting their whole thing as, well… hypocrisy.” _

The world seemed to spin as Catra sat back down. She had a sick feeling she knew where this was going, “What… hypocrisy?”

“ _ Baby… I… look, Spinny and Nettie, they’re all over this. I think they’ll be calling Adora soon. There’s pictures, not bad ones buuut… I think they’re putting stuff out. Looks like the Prime PR team has… a LOT.” _

“A lot?”

“ _ Um… On….. you.” _

“Me?”

“ _ Press release has an image of you two. And the headline is, well, um… she could swing for libel. It’s… it’s all about you. And her. Your whole history. And something about fraud and Adora making up the whole thing… their social media feeds blew up this morning. Bot-nets probably.” _

Catra’s fingers went numb and the phone clattered from her hands. She heard DT’s voice, but it felt a long way off.

Prime had ramped up against Adora. And they were… using her. How? What…?

Oh.  _ Oh _ .

Hordak Senior had  _ known _ Mrs Weaver hadn’t he? He’d know about her connection to Adora - the most visible figurehead and beacon for the whole movement. And now the bastard was using her to hurt Adora. Again. Like she’d broken her before. And this time it would ruin her. And the charity and…

The glass door thudded open and Catra flinched. She looked up to see Adora framed in the doorway. Her face… her face…

Was  _ not _ like her face back in high school.

There was no grief there. No pain.

There was worry. And she stared at Catra with such  _ care _ it almost hurt more. Catra opened her mouth and gasped. A second later Adora was crouched next to her, strong arms around Catra’s neck. She hugged the brunette close, but Catra tried to push away, “No… n...n...I… I did it again… I… I’m hu hur hur…. Hurting…”   


“Baby..  _ baby _ . Shhh. Catra, listen to me….” Adora’s voice was quiet, but firm. Catra sniffled and leaned back. She knew she was in a mini-spiral - the sense of sudden powerlessness, at Prime’s hands as a  _ decision _ had been made, somewhere, about her that didn’t  _ involve _ her input. Adora had a steely look on her face, “This is NOT on you. It isn’t even on  _ us _ .”

“But.. if… if I had just stayed away and…”

“If you’d stayed away then what?” Adora asked, gently, “Then I wouldn’t know you loved me. And you wouldn’t know I loved you. And we wouldn’t be moving in in three months.”

Catra choked out a giggled that morphed into a faint sob, “But…. buh…”

“We get smears all the time. We get social media attacks. We get counter sued. Fine, they got a few pages in some papers….” Adora’s face was angry, her eyes hard, but she searched Catra's face as she held the girl close, “But this time…. This time they went  _ too _ far. This time they went after  _ you _ .”

She could feel the spiral, the fear as it gripped her. It had been a while - Razz had helped ground her, get her away from the self loathing, but right now it felt like it was all on HER; more so since the apparent PR disaster WAS definitely about _her_.

“I… I don’t matter. You should just… send out a press release, y’know, distance yourself. That’d be eas-”   


“Catra, shut up,” Catra’s jaw actually clicked as she clammed up in surprise. Adora cupped both her cheeks, “You’re clever, bright and gorgeous but sometimes you are so so so infuriating. We do  _ not _ capitulate. We do not bend to these  _ fucks _ .”

Catra sniffled and drew a deep breath. Her own hands reached up and clasped Adora’s wrists. She felt grounded as she swallowed, “So… hem… what’s, uh, uh what’s the plan?”

_ “Yeah, fill a bitch in,”  _ came DT’s voice from the dropped phone. Adora’s grin was vicious.

“Simple. We show that the fucker miscalculated. That this is a step too far,” she squared her shoulders, “I go out there. I go and tell them  _ my  _ truth…. And I keep you out of it,” she caressed Catra’s face.

The brunette huffed, “Being the hero?”

Adora smiled faintly, “Making sure these assholes don’t hurt you. Ever. Again.”

That certainty, that rigid expression and the palpable sense of  _ rage _ under the surface stunned Catra. Her grip tightened around Adora’s wrists as she felt her heart rate increase. She didn’t know if she wanted to flee, fight or fuck, but something pushed her beyond her thundering fear. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

“No.”   


Adora blinked, “What? No, Catra I have….”

“No. No. Hordak faced his dad, stood up to him. You faced down these people for years. And yeah, you had help. But me… me I hid. I ran from mom. From Prime. I hid for so long. I need to face this, Adora. They’re using  _ me _ …. My actions… to hurt you  _ again _ . No more. No fucking  _ more _ .”

The blonde cracked a half smile, but it was cautious, “I saw the release. They quote your mom… are you… what are you thinking?”

Catra met her gaze and took a breath, “I’m thinking we save each other. And like you said, I’m thinking we bring this fucker down.”

Adora arched an eyebrow, “And how do we do that?”

The brunette wrinkled her brow in thought, then smiled slowly, “With the power of love, of course. And maybe an industry juggernaught in our corner, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a bit, and I'm not quite 100% with it.
> 
> So, as ever! LEMME KNOW IF YA LIKE!
> 
> A few things going on but we in endgame now. The last few bits and bobs to tie off before we say goodbye to these two.
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting!


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